It's funny like I'll see MLers reply to me saying like "I know that OP won't read this so let me take this opportunity to tell you all about our lord and savior, may glorious comrade-leader never die..."
Some people just enjoy the sound of their own voices.
Ive developed a very unhealthy relationship with email.
I dont know what to do about it really.
Its not "email" thats the problem. Its that almost everything starts with an email. Its a fire hose of "work stuff". No one ever emails me to say "hey that thing you did for me last year was amazing and I was really impressed".
I didn't ask to be part of society, and on top of that, I have to work to pay for benefits I never get.
It's hard not to see human society as some sort of kidnappers that just want to keep you there to work you by force, and everything else is gaslighting and lies.
Sometimes I do that. Even if there's no way for them to respond. If they can respond, I get a smile or nothing, so I think it's generally a good thing to do.
My dad taught me early on to smile at people, because sometimes it's the only smile they see that day, and how would I feel when I saw a smile after lots of sad faces?
That one stayed with me. I wish more of his wisdom sunk in, but that's a good one.
Genuinely realized in therapy that I had developed a trauma response of massive anxiety at my last job. Now I nearly have a panic attack when I make a mistake just waiting for someone to yell at me. Luckily this new place is much nicer :).
Crazy the weird, fucked up things some places will do to their employees. One of my very first jobs, we got a little cubbyhole where they'd give us our paychecks or in-office notices and the thing I saw most of: What You Fucked Up Last Shift, You Big Fuckup
Glad you are working in a nicer place, and me too, and it sucks we'll always carry that around.
Same thing happened to me. I started going to therapy last year and got medication from a psychiatrist that mostly helps keep me from having constant panic attacks. Granted mine wasn't just from my last job, but from a lifetime of harassment and just generally being treated like shit. I still remember breaking down cause I cut a frozen pizza not perfectly in half when I was a young teen. The other week I had a panic attack in front of my supervisor as he was explaining to me a policy I didn't know about cause my brain was assured this was him holding back and not being able to fire me yet no matter how badly he wanted to. Those thoughts had no basis in reality cause I'm a good worker who goes out of his way to help others and keeps his head down (even got employee of the month), but anxiety doesn't care. It thinks all that shit is fake and I only got it cause the panic attack made them feel bad.
I just want to get fired already, and not think like this every day. Waiting for my debt to clear, then I can go disappear somewhere, die in peace, away from the world that hates me.
What is the point of popping humans into existance that will be hated, and oppressed until the day they die?
If humans are such a terrible thing, why make them at all?
I was going to be reassuring and say that there was likely nothing wrong with you, then I saw you were literally the world's dumbest man. Sorry man, that must be rough
Reminds me of my favorite manager at WotC, one time he was talking during a meeting and a guy named Bart slipped in late, and in mid-sentence without missing a beat he said, "...and so that's how Bart fucked everything up." Bart's like huh? wut?
I have the same fear every time I log into Lemmy.
You're in big trouble and we all hate you.
Oh yeah.... That's the stuff.... That's the one I've been waiting for....
That's why I never read replies.
You're in big trouble and we all hate you, but you'll never know because you won't read this.
It's funny like I'll see MLers reply to me saying like "I know that OP won't read this so let me take this opportunity to tell you all about our lord and savior, may glorious comrade-leader never die..."
Some people just enjoy the sound of their own voices.
Even this one?
You've been a very naughty boy and we all are going to spank you
A spanking, a spanking!
And then the oral sex!
Don't threaten me with a good time
Who could ever hate you?
Nazis, tankies, neo-libertarians, bigots...
And what about very old friends?
Sounds like you're doing something right
Who doesn't?
well there are some mentally ill lemmy users that will attack you, once they figure out that there is no retaliation
You're doing great and we all appreciate you!
No no no.... This is too real...
IKR
Ive developed a very unhealthy relationship with email.
I dont know what to do about it really.
Its not "email" thats the problem. Its that almost everything starts with an email. Its a fire hose of "work stuff". No one ever emails me to say "hey that thing you did for me last year was amazing and I was really impressed".
I wish I could get an email that just said "everything's all cool today bro. You can relax for at least 24 hours 👍"
I would be content with every year being sat down and told, "you're doing a good job", or "we hate you, please die".
Feedback. It's what plants crave.
I didn't ask to be part of society, and on top of that, I have to work to pay for benefits I never get.
It's hard not to see human society as some sort of kidnappers that just want to keep you there to work you by force, and everything else is gaslighting and lies.
Sometimes I do that. Even if there's no way for them to respond. If they can respond, I get a smile or nothing, so I think it's generally a good thing to do.
My dad taught me early on to smile at people, because sometimes it's the only smile they see that day, and how would I feel when I saw a smile after lots of sad faces?
That one stayed with me. I wish more of his wisdom sunk in, but that's a good one.
Genuinely realized in therapy that I had developed a trauma response of massive anxiety at my last job. Now I nearly have a panic attack when I make a mistake just waiting for someone to yell at me. Luckily this new place is much nicer :).
Crazy the weird, fucked up things some places will do to their employees. One of my very first jobs, we got a little cubbyhole where they'd give us our paychecks or in-office notices and the thing I saw most of: What You Fucked Up Last Shift, You Big Fuckup
Glad you are working in a nicer place, and me too, and it sucks we'll always carry that around.
Same thing happened to me. I started going to therapy last year and got medication from a psychiatrist that mostly helps keep me from having constant panic attacks. Granted mine wasn't just from my last job, but from a lifetime of harassment and just generally being treated like shit. I still remember breaking down cause I cut a frozen pizza not perfectly in half when I was a young teen. The other week I had a panic attack in front of my supervisor as he was explaining to me a policy I didn't know about cause my brain was assured this was him holding back and not being able to fire me yet no matter how badly he wanted to. Those thoughts had no basis in reality cause I'm a good worker who goes out of his way to help others and keeps his head down (even got employee of the month), but anxiety doesn't care. It thinks all that shit is fake and I only got it cause the panic attack made them feel bad.
At my last job, I essentially got one of those every day.
Is this at least a fun story in retrospect?
I just want to get fired already, and not think like this every day. Waiting for my debt to clear, then I can go disappear somewhere, die in peace, away from the world that hates me.
What is the point of popping humans into existance that will be hated, and oppressed until the day they die?
If humans are such a terrible thing, why make them at all?
I was going to be reassuring and say that there was likely nothing wrong with you, then I saw you were literally the world's dumbest man. Sorry man, that must be rough
Cptsd sure is fun eh?
Reminds me of my favorite manager at WotC, one time he was talking during a meeting and a guy named Bart slipped in late, and in mid-sentence without missing a beat he said, "...and so that's how Bart fucked everything up." Bart's like huh? wut?
that's actually why i rarely check my emails
Please let it happen to me then maybe people will stop reaching out for help.
I know it’s just projection…
Its ging to be there ans day.
Seeing that there's a text message from your bipolar SO...