You must understand that he requires the pressure to live. If that thing ever stops being the most unrepentant asshole to have ever lived, the outward pressure of his barely constrained sheer fucking awkwardness would no longer be balanced out, causing him to explode in a shedenfreudenstrom of impossible proportions.
hes the only other viable R senator in TEXAS, im guess the others arnt as vile as he is, or as prominent(PR wise) as he is, like MS lindsey they toe the party lines.
Gotta work Mexico in there somewhere, that's where he felt it was his duty to be during the Texas ice storm disaster.
Cancun Cruz
Ted: Bye, have fun dying from the cold and/or carbon monoxide poisoning
Both times.
And Christian. It would be less unusual if he were a jewish man advocating for Israel.
Most zionists are christians
Bro sounds like he should be on an ICE list.
he's the immigrant trump warned us about!
Anyone seen his neighbor's pets recently?
Sounds like a DEI hire.
No, competency for the position is considered with DEI hires.
Ted "my father was imprisoned and tortured in Cuba. I hate communists. it was actually Batista who tortured my dad" Cruz
::: spoiler note for readers unfamiliar with the history of Cuba: Batista was the US-backed dictator who was defeated by the Cuban Revolution :::
Ha ha. Jesus.
"Ted Cruz is like wolverine if instead of metal claws three flaccid penises extended from his hands."
I wish I could recall where I first saw that, but it will live in my head forever.
Made me chuckle, here have this:
You must understand that he requires the pressure to live. If that thing ever stops being the most unrepentant asshole to have ever lived, the outward pressure of his barely constrained sheer fucking awkwardness would no longer be balanced out, causing him to explode in a shedenfreudenstrom of impossible proportions.
He was born in... Canada?!?! My god. What have we done.
Prevented him from being the American president
No, his mother was American so he has American citizenship that way.
And he was a Canadian citizen for most of his life. He only renounced his Canadian citizenship once he started planning to run for US president.
Makes sense, how else would you expect the Zodiac Killer to evade capture?
zodiac killer that goes to a tropical place to molt his skin.
Canadian here. You have my sincere apologies.
First you guys burn down the White House, then you send us Rafael.
What’s next? You guys gonna turn off the syrup spigot?
On behalf of all Canadians, thank you Texas for taking that bullet.
How has such an unlikable man made it so far? Maybe I need to change my strategies, sorry friends it's time for hatemaxxing
Massive amounts of money and influence provided by Israel probably helps.
hes the only other viable R senator in TEXAS, im guess the others arnt as vile as he is, or as prominent(PR wise) as he is, like MS lindsey they toe the party lines.
And that's not even counting the hats he gets when vacationing during natural disasters.
How the fuck do they keep electing him! All I hear is how everyone hates him.
Al Franken
The power if having a R besides their name.
American Conservatives have unparalleled cognitive dissonance skills. Truly unmatched anywhere else in the world.
Only in the summer. In winter he goes to Mexico.
OR anytime the weather drops temperature below what reptile can tolerate.
Cruz is the answer to the question "what if an infected ass pimple became human?"
Not even a beard can make him look cool.
Him and Vance think the beards hide the double chins.
Fixed that for you!
Man’s résumé sounds like a random character generator 😭
Mr. Worldwide
I stand by what got me banned from Twitter the first time; man would be smarter if he had lead for brains than he is now.
More like ass hat
There was a time that such an immigrant coming to represent a nation of immigrants would have seemed so right.
Context matters.
Aside from ‘representing country of Israel’, that should read as a compliment to what the US is supposed to stand for.
Shame it’s the opposite, but that’s on them.
whole state of Texas is "Leopards at my face" on this.
Is the hats thing diminutive? I don't want to continue accidentally insulting people if so.