I suppose sometimes when I find a bug I bang out the fix in dev right away and then PM is mad I didn’t go through the whole user story creation and prioritization process
Idk I'm pretty sure that's the trauma associated with growing up/living with adhd.
Also it's not that I didn't do anything wrong or forgot anything, it's that I have no idea if I did. I could be sitting around having completely forgotten to pay rent until the landlord angrily calls.
It would be nice if all my bills lined up time-wise. On the one hand, having them at different times means using different paychecks to cover them, so I’m not out a huge chunk of money at once.
But on the other hand, I never get that feeling of, “Okay, all my bills are covered this month.” It’s always, “Something else still needs to be paid soon… rent? No, I paid that two weeks ago. Is it my phone bill? Mmm nope, I still have time on that. Electricity maybe?”
Then once it’s all paid, the next month begins and the cycle goes on.
You can usually call to have your billing cycle adjusted so you can either spread them out or have them all come due at the same time. Not every bill from every company, like rent might not be super flexible, but most utilities and subscriptions and stuff are willing to roll a partial month into the next billing cycle to give you a new due date.
When I first got tested for ADHD, I forgot to put the appointment in my calendar and no-showed. The psychiatrist I met with specialized in ADHD, and I almost cried when, instead of giving me a fine like other doctors might, she simply said "a lot of my patients aren't great with keeping appointments, it's no problem"
That sounds so nice. I'm currently in a wall of awful about trying to find a new adhd psychiatrist after changing insurance because I've been so mistreated by so many psychiatrists over the years.
I know someone who went through an abusive childhood and suffers from complex ptsd. They recently started anti anxiety medication and that has helped temper their fawn/freeze fear response, but it they still live with it.
The biggest surprise for them was that everyone else wasn't plagued with the same constant fear and anxiety, always trying to placate everyone to avoid confrontation.
Depression and Anxiety are comorbid with ADHD. The venn diagram is a circle. I am not sure 100% about how it works, I am told the childhood experience of a person with ADHD give us some level of trauma.
ADHD is not actual about attention and fidgeting. It's a deeply emotional disorder.
It's worse in you forties and female. I swear I am so stressed that I'm about to have a heart attack. Unfortunately, that almost certainly means an increased dose in meds is a very bad idea.
I always think everyone is mad at me. I wish I was normal and also 20 IQ points dumber for just a week so I could live for that one week.
The average person with ADHD has received more than 20,000 negative statements before the age of 12 so... Yes.
If you were always told you are doing something wrong then naturally you will feel like you are always doing something wrong. It will become a core value/belief system by the time you are an adult.
If your like me it's because you have internalized the idea that your value as a person comes directly from being productive/useful. Therefore NOT being productive means you have no value and are in mortal peril.
My life at work is a bit paranoid at times lately. The fear of screwing up and losing my job goes through my head often. I question if I made the right call’s, or missed something. I’ve made my work much more time intensive. I cannot afford to lose the job I have, it’s not something where I could just go down the street and get a job at a competitive pay. I’d have to start at the bottom, while still owing as much as I do. Feels like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Okay so like, I woke up today and I was on a phone call. First off I didn't know I could do that so Bravo to sleeping me I have unlocked a whole new avenue for embarrassment. Second by the time I had woke up I had been on the phone for fifteen minutes. I think the lady was not allowed to hang up or something. I told her that I think I was waking up from a nap and I was awake now and she didn't need to worry, and sorry and thank you for being patient and what did she call about in the first place. It was my dentist's office, which is extra embarrassing that I didn't recognize her because my dentist is an old family friend. I think I need to make them some ice cream for putting up with me.
I'm that person that works extra hours every day because I'm afraid I didn't do enough..my SO is always asking why i work so much and I'm like well I got distracted for 20 minutes on something now I have to work 20 minutes more to make up for it..it adds up.
I have an easy wfh job and I feel guilty if I don't put in the work.
I’m in usually in trouble because I haven’t done something heh
I suppose sometimes when I find a bug I bang out the fix in dev right away and then PM is mad I didn’t go through the whole user story creation and prioritization process
That's a bad PM. At least in that particular area.
I think that's anxiety, but also yes
It's both, difficulties with managing ADHD in an unsupportive/actively hostile world cause anxiety
Yeah, was about to say. Sounds like an anxiety disorder
Idk I'm pretty sure that's the trauma associated with growing up/living with adhd.
Also it's not that I didn't do anything wrong or forgot anything, it's that I have no idea if I did. I could be sitting around having completely forgotten to pay rent until the landlord angrily calls.
It would be nice if all my bills lined up time-wise. On the one hand, having them at different times means using different paychecks to cover them, so I’m not out a huge chunk of money at once.
But on the other hand, I never get that feeling of, “Okay, all my bills are covered this month.” It’s always, “Something else still needs to be paid soon… rent? No, I paid that two weeks ago. Is it my phone bill? Mmm nope, I still have time on that. Electricity maybe?”
Then once it’s all paid, the next month begins and the cycle goes on.
It never stops. 😭
Put all the bills on a credit card set to autopay. Now all you have to do is pay off the card's balance once a month.
You can usually call to have your billing cycle adjusted so you can either spread them out or have them all come due at the same time. Not every bill from every company, like rent might not be super flexible, but most utilities and subscriptions and stuff are willing to roll a partial month into the next billing cycle to give you a new due date.
This sounds more like PTSD to me, relating to familial abuse.
And teachers. And authority figures in general. My favorite is when psychiatrists aren't understanding of adhd behaviors
When I first got tested for ADHD, I forgot to put the appointment in my calendar and no-showed. The psychiatrist I met with specialized in ADHD, and I almost cried when, instead of giving me a fine like other doctors might, she simply said "a lot of my patients aren't great with keeping appointments, it's no problem"
That sounds so nice. I'm currently in a wall of awful about trying to find a new adhd psychiatrist after changing insurance because I've been so mistreated by so many psychiatrists over the years.
Wow it makes sense now. I repressed most of my mental trauma (can't really recall childhood, outside of nostalgia for music and games)
I know someone who went through an abusive childhood and suffers from complex ptsd. They recently started anti anxiety medication and that has helped temper their fawn/freeze fear response, but it they still live with it.
The biggest surprise for them was that everyone else wasn't plagued with the same constant fear and anxiety, always trying to placate everyone to avoid confrontation.
Depression and Anxiety are comorbid with ADHD. The venn diagram is a circle. I am not sure 100% about how it works, I am told the childhood experience of a person with ADHD give us some level of trauma. ADHD is not actual about attention and fidgeting. It's a deeply emotional disorder.
attention deficit is just the annoying part to other people
It's worse in you forties and female. I swear I am so stressed that I'm about to have a heart attack. Unfortunately, that almost certainly means an increased dose in meds is a very bad idea.
I always think everyone is mad at me. I wish I was normal and also 20 IQ points dumber for just a week so I could live for that one week.
Hello meee
Sometimes one of them is the case. I didn't do anything wrong, but I forgot to do something expected of me. Fml
it probably has more to do with how parents, teachers treat kids with ADHD than ADHD itself
The average person with ADHD has received more than 20,000 negative statements before the age of 12 so... Yes.
If you were always told you are doing something wrong then naturally you will feel like you are always doing something wrong. It will become a core value/belief system by the time you are an adult.
https://www.mdedge.com/psychiatry/article/23971/pediatrics/dont-let-adhd-crush-childrens-self-esteem
I’m looking forward to my day off work next monday when I can feel guilt all day for no fucking reason
If your like me it's because you have internalized the idea that your value as a person comes directly from being productive/useful. Therefore NOT being productive means you have no value and are in mortal peril.
My life at work is a bit paranoid at times lately. The fear of screwing up and losing my job goes through my head often. I question if I made the right call’s, or missed something. I’ve made my work much more time intensive. I cannot afford to lose the job I have, it’s not something where I could just go down the street and get a job at a competitive pay. I’d have to start at the bottom, while still owing as much as I do. Feels like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop.
Yeah when things in life are going perfect, I worry.
Things were going really well for me, then my dog died and my furnace and dishwasher broke in the same week 🫠
Fuck, I'm sorry. My car died, then my TV, then the next week my dog.
☹️
I thought that was Imposter Syndrome
You don't really have imposter syndrome, the people who do are struggling much harder.
Nah bro, my mother in law reinforces that feeling on the daily, she won't miss the opportunity to shit on me.
Okay so like, I woke up today and I was on a phone call. First off I didn't know I could do that so Bravo to sleeping me I have unlocked a whole new avenue for embarrassment. Second by the time I had woke up I had been on the phone for fifteen minutes. I think the lady was not allowed to hang up or something. I told her that I think I was waking up from a nap and I was awake now and she didn't need to worry, and sorry and thank you for being patient and what did she call about in the first place. It was my dentist's office, which is extra embarrassing that I didn't recognize her because my dentist is an old family friend. I think I need to make them some ice cream for putting up with me.
Doh shit really?
I'm that person that works extra hours every day because I'm afraid I didn't do enough..my SO is always asking why i work so much and I'm like well I got distracted for 20 minutes on something now I have to work 20 minutes more to make up for it..it adds up.
I have an easy wfh job and I feel guilty if I don't put in the work.
My guilt stems from the knowledge that there are things I should be doing but am not
Yikes, is this true? Because I might need to get some test or something
pshaw, that's easy to fix, just make sure you did something worth being in trouble for. It'll keep your mind off it.
And so starts the arms race against yourself...
Bruh.
What did he do doe?
Nothing. It was more of a "bruh this is exactly me"
That's something else.