Spyke
itkovianreply
lemmy.world

I can't, but I totally would date her just to wrestle with her. As a bonus, I am as fat as a manatee.

44

I don't want to wrestle her but I'd like to get to know her and learn what makes her her. She sounds interesting.

4

Manatees are struggling with climate change along the florida coast line where waters in the summer have been measured to up to 100 degree F in the ocean. It has devastated manatee floral diet. And they are dying off from it.

Do not torment the gentle wildlife that you are killing off.

54
piefed.world

In Florida, is an extremely serious crime to even touch a manatee.

42

I once saw a park ranger just screaming at a group of guys and threatening them with $5000 fines just for getting near one.

I told a friend of mine who surfs, and he didn't realize they were so protected. He said there's an old girl who comes to visit them when they surf, and she rolls over on her back so they can scritch her belly. I told him it was a $5000 fine, and he was bummed. He liked scritching his manatee friend.

16
D_Creply
sh.itjust.works

You take that back! Leave them damn sexy manatees alone.

6

Nope!! Say that's a nice cockle you've got there, can I touch it?...

Ok, you may be correct!

1
lemmy.world

In the criminal justice system, harassment of marine mammals is considered a Florida-tier offense. In Miami-Dade, the detectives who investigate these bizarre aquatic crimes are members of an elite squad known as the Meth-Adjacent Intervention Unit. These are their stories.

25

Smoke meth in the city where the heat is on
Fight manatees on the beach 'til the break of dawn
Welcome to Miami
Bienvenidos a Miami

5
lemmy.world

Why was the manatee in a park and why was it wearing a bikini. Lastly, was it a licensed wrestling match or unsanctioned?

24

wrestling licenses are a scam perpetuated by Big Wrestling! go out and wrestle someone today! nobody can stop you!

3
lemmy.today

Her hips don't lie! That's shakira! You guys arrested shakira while she was doing her wrestling routine!

You might have noticed she's not blonde.

16
altphotoreply
lemmy.today

Confirmed! You guys got shakira while she was having personal arguments with her favorite animal kingdom friend.

Just leave them alone. Its all about past manatee songs that never made it.

16
aussie.zone

Manatees can't wear bikinis, their nipples are in entirely the wrong place

13

You just cracked into an obviously under-represented market. You could make millions.

3
lemmy.world

I feel there's more to this story we're missing here. ..but damn, I'd wrestle her any day...

10
Retail4068reply
lemmy.world

Fighting an endangered animal? Swimming in probably boat lanes. 

Come on guys.

6

Oh no here comes the manatee from the top rope with a steel chair! Oof! As god as my witness she is broken in half!

8

Musk is responsible for this. Remember a few weeks ago when he made Grok put everyone in bikinis? Of course, Florida is now copying it IRL. And as usual, it's the poor bloody matinee ... mantit ... blobbly wobblies that suffer!

4
lemmy.world

This is AI slop

edit: to people who downvote me because she's cute : Just look at the logo

and then search online for "WFor 4 News", it doen't exist

-1
sh.itjust.works

Dunno. When it comes to Florida folks, sometimes it is hard to tell AI slop from reality.

2
lemmy.world

No it's not. I mean, maybe if you're dumb and can't recognize fake shit, which, from the looks of this comment thread, it appears Lemmy has started down that path.

It's the "in a bikini" part that's a dead giveaway. That's not a detail that would be included in a real headline. That's extra added to make the situation seem more ridiculous and silly. It's crazy I even have to point this out, its painfully obvious to me.

0
lemmy.world

Tbf, we live in the Clickbait Era of journalism, so that's not your best argument. It's definitely fake, but the poorly written headline is no longer good proof, it's actually the standard even for articles written by real people.

2