How do you communicate "sorry, my bad" when you make a mistake while driving?
Like, if you accidentally cut someone off, and they get mad and honk, how do you apologize?
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Like, if you accidentally cut someone off, and they get mad and honk, how do you apologize?
Hand up, and bow head.
This. It says, "I acknowledge you are upset, and accept blame."
Instructions unclear. Ended up doing the wave (like you see at baseball stadiums) alone in a car.
Accidentally dabbed.
Accidently my ass! Stop trying to bring it back!
I have a huge purple dildo. I just start beating myself about the head and shoulders.
What about the “sorry, my bad” while driving though?
You can do that at the same time as beating yourself with the purple dildo
It's performative self-flagellation, same as you would do in any religious event or office setting. The pink dildo is just for better visibility.
Otherwise known as a catholic penance.
Found the saints row player
Mantis starts beating off with a purple dildo
Me: "...the fuck is he doing?"
I think the fact that there isn't a good way I think escalates a lot of otherwise defusable road rage situations.
Many people who get angry at strangers easily see someone apologizing as legitimatizing their anger, and people not apologizing as not understanding they are wrong. I don't think there is a good solution if people can't just accept that other people make mistakes and move on without any needed follow up.
Hard disagree, everyday life is full of defused accidental escalations because pointless escalations benefit no one.
It is the same with animals and humans.
I live in Hawai'i and, as far as I can tell, we have far fewer road rage incidents than other parts of the US (but not zero). I honestly think a lot of it has to do with us having a third hand-gesture: the shaka (I mention this elsewhere in this discussion). The shaka is truly amazing. You give it when someone lets you in the lane AND you can give it when you mess up and everyone understands that it's you admitting your mistake. Might even get a shaka in response for giving the penitential one. It's awesome.
Telling people in New England to use the Shaka hand gesture is gonna end up a lot different.
Best case scenario, they think it’s the “I love you” hand sign. 🤟
Yeah, I was just sort of answering the initial question of "How do you communicate..." I imagine in New England the response to the shaka might be "What?! You want me to call you?! How 'bout I call you an asshole, cuz that's what you are! Asshole!" lol
The figure 8 of life
Flash the hazards twice, also works as a thank you for letting me merge in or whatever, it’s pretty common in the UK.
I have gone to using a single hazard flash when people are in front of me as well instead of flashing high beams(reserved as the head tap equivalent for cars) because I hate when people blind me at night trying to thank me… high beams are way brighter than they used to be.
This is SO true. I let a few people pass at a narrowing in the evening and they sometimes thanked me by blinding me temporarily. Like, I appreciate the gratitude, but just don’t.
I usually just honk “SORRY” in Morse code.
... --- .-. .-. -.-- for anyone who wants to try
That’s an absurd amount if honking.
Try and record it if you do.
If I’m really sorry, I’ll add a few more ‘O’s in “SOOOORRY!”
(Edit: real answer) For most acknowledgements, I double-tap a light — beams, brakes, or hazards depending on current lighting conditions and relative position of other driver — because most things I would say to them are two beats long:
I once got an A on an anthropology paper by analyzing body language in vehicles and different driving cultures in different places.
Rock on. Were there any instances of local parlance you found peculiar or surprising?
One insight was the different behavior when a light turned green with someone at the front making a left turn.
Where I grew up that person would just have to wait, but in the city where I went to college they’d let one car turn left before opposing traffic started.
It was a bit of a culture shock being honked at for obeying the actual law.
If you mean that the way I think, in Los Angeles when you're going to make a left turn at a light without a red arrow, AND there's enough clear road ahead on your left for you to turn into, you're expected to "post up" into the intersection while you wait for opposing traffic to clear. Which often it never does until the light turns yellow, or even red. Then you're expected to make your turn on the red, and the car behind you is allowed to follow you if they've got their front wheels over the line into the intersection. The cross traffic has to wait until you've cleared the box. "Two cars on a red." Of course if it's an especially large intersection, it's possible for the first car and second car to post up so far that a third car can get those wheels over, and all three can make their escape from the box after the light changes. But the cross traffic considers this rude.
I don’t think oncoming traffic “lets” the first car go. It’s more that if the person in the front of the left turn queue is on the ball and ready to go, he’ll scoot out while the oncoming drivers are typically looking up from their instagram or TikTok or whatever and understanding that they need to drive again.
I’ve done that before when I’m in a hurry, but this was actually people waiting for that initial left turn.
Also this was back before smart phones, so things may have changed. Culture evolves.
I remember reading a while back that the hazards twice = thank you.
I’d certainly interpret it that way if it fit.
The only issue I’d see with that convention is that in many scenarios in which you’d use it — other driver makes room for you to merge, brakes early to let you turn left, and so forth — you (should) already have half of the hazard lights actively repeating, which could muddle the message. But otherwise I like it.
Another random convention I learned early on was rapid triple-tap beams (i.e., like a strobe) = “speed trap ahead”
LOL. Doesn't that mean it's completely ambiguous? There's plenty of awful things you could say in 2 beats.
I imagine that people flash twice because once could be a mistake, twice demonstrates intent. Three would make me wonder whether it's an ongoing flashing light.
I think generally one long flash is a negative acknowledgement or warning, 2 quick flashes is positive, and 3 or more is back to negative
I dont think any of that is a generally accepted code.
Well granted, it’s high-context communication. But I’m willing to bet you’d know what I meant if you were trying to merge and I double-tapped lights.
Yeah IME three is less general, usually reserved for a problem or need for caution, like if someone is driving at night with all their lights out or a visible chassis/drivetrain issue, or there’s a cop/wreck ahead.
Yeah if you're in the lane I'm merging into then two taps means "it's ok for you to merge in because there's enough room for you". That's more than 2 beats though.
Maybe you mean "o kay" or "yes merge" or "no stop" or "look out" or "nice car"
Oh you mean the two-syllable thing. That was more for the joke lol
I think it works as a rule of thumb: if message is simple enough that context makes it obvious, two blinks will suffice. But no, it wouldn’t be useful as an actual lexical cypher.
I've mostly seen the double-flick of lights to mean either "Go ahead, make your move, I see you and I won't hit you" (to pedestrians or someone waiting to turn into/out of a driveway in heavy traffic) or "turn on your lights you idiot, it's pouring rain." But it's always heavy traffic in Southern California, and it never rains, but man, it pours.
For me, I go with:
One long honk : PAY ATTENTION! Right now to avoid an accident!
One short honk: hey bud, not mad but the light changed, or similar. Also used when I see someone I know.
Two short honks: did not respond to one short honk. Also used when I was the one to fuck up - accompanied by head nod/bow, arms up with hands upturned, mouthing "I'm sorry", and/or similar gestures.
Two long honks: you did something bad, like turning out in front of me with not enough room. I'm yelling about it!
Combination of short and long honks: I'm pissed at what you just did. Mad enough that I want to shame you, at least enough to make your next several minutes awkward. Given the chance I'm flipping you off, or simply shaking my head in acknowledgment of your shame.
Just hit their car slightly with yours. You know, a love tap, to show them love and appreciation. Then show them your extended middle finger, signifying that you are standing with them in solidarity of thinking you’ve made a mistake. If you have a weapon with you, you can hold it up and show them to indicate that you are aware you could be perceived as a threat, but are making the effort to indicate that you aren’t.
I flash my hazards for a sec. I also use that to say thank you.
This is the only correct answer.
No no no. First you do the walk like an egyptian dance. Then flash your hazzards. Then play peekaboo.
I only ever used or interpreted this as a thank you. But in the end, if someone makes an error and then flashes a "thank you" at me I usually let it slide because at least they said thanks. So I guess it works.
Can't go wrong with the classic 🖕.
I pretend to shoot myself in the temple.
Then I put the gun back in the glove box.
Like this 🖕
Here in the UK, turning on your hazards for a couple of flashes means either "Thank you" or "sorry" to the car following, depending on context.
Someone let you merge in? "Thank you!*
You cut someone off? "Sorry!"
In Sweden they blink left-right-left or right-left-right.
Same here in UK honestly - it's that or the hazards, they both send the same message :)
I've personally observed that drivers of big trucks tend to do the indicator thing, while most people in cars do the hazards. Not sure if there's a specific trucker reason for that divide! Possibly it's less easy to reach the hazards in a truck but I don't know, that's just a guess!
Same in Germany! I mostly use it to signal „ thank you“ though. Usually the reply is flashing the high beams once very quickly.
Same in Estonia, seems continent-wide basically.
Truck gives you 2-3 flashes of the right (left in the UK I suppose) turn signal in the middle of the road, they want you to pass because the road's clear and they don't want a convoy forming behind them. So you pass and flash the hazards to thank them. Sometimes they'll flash their brights as "you're welcome" during daytime.
We can be completely self-centered assholes on the road, but we keep our common courtesy.
In America I do the turn signal hint as well. It seems no one gets the context, even when I can tell by their behavior (body language)?
That they desperately want to pass, and I want them to pass before I do (left lane is open).
Huh. Same in Korea. Which was odd to me when I moved here since I'm from Canada and it is not the practice there.
Weird. You'd think Canadians at least would have a way to say sorry ;P
Ha! The biggest problem with drivers in my hometown is that they're too polite. It's dangerous when people don't take their right-of-way. It causes confusion in drivers who know whose right-of-way it is. It's also infuriating being stuck behind someone who thinks they're doing people a favor by sitting at a four-way stop until all traffic disappears instead of taking their proper turn.
raise your hand?
had a brain glitch on a roundabout, nearly forgot to break for a passing car.
I roll down the window and do the Sorry/ThankYou Wave. 👋
Especially if they DIDN'T honk.
This. I will forgive most driving indiscretions if I see a wave/acknowledgement of wrongdoing.
Remember to say toodle-oo like an old lady while waving.
I am legitimately a little old lady.
But if they can see my face I say "Sorry" or "Thank you" and make the appropriate grimace.
Back of the hand high and visible through the rear window, fingers and thumb slightly apart to reduce the chances of them thinking your giving them the middle finger (or two fingers in the UK).
Brake check them
Middle finger possibly brake check
Sounds like NE USA, but where is the swearing?
Honk louder to assert dominance.
Look ashamed and maybe do a single flash of my hazards.
Hazards = boobs
Anyone can give someone the finger. But no one ever expects to get the toe.
I have a 52" screen mounted to the tailgate connected to a laptop on the passenger seat with a bunch of PowerPoints queued up.
Sorry.pptx SorryNotSorry.pptx Thankyou.pptx NiceDrivingDipshit.pptx YouBlindMotherfucker.pptx Appreciated.pptx ILoveYourSprinterTruanoAE86ItsJustLikeTheOneFromInitialD.pptx
Not all of those get a lot of use. I've never used SorryNotSorry.pptx, for example
Funny, I know the Sprinter Trueno from either Forza Motorsport 2 or 3, Gran Turismo 3, or Sega GT 2002. It may have actually features in two or all three of those games.
Edit: I would be way too tempted to use the "YouBlindMotherfucker," one on a cop.
🚬😎🖕
Most people follow and likely understand the manual hazard lights.
Two blinks in the tempo of "I'm sorry".
I've made mistakes before and did so, sometimes they flash one quick blink of high beams to acknowledge.
I thought two blinks was thank you? Are you telling me I've been going around apologizing to people for letting me in?
Its contextual, and can be both :)
I use it for thank you as well. OP asked about apologies, I probably should have mentioned it could be both
Here in Hawai'i it is likely that we will give a sheepish shaka as the driver passes. Might get a tense shaka in response. I am in no way kidding about this.
If I have some free time, I’ll follow them to their destination and knock on their window before they manage to slip away, and then apologize. Many seem like they’re in a hurry, despite just arriving, so I’ll just shout out my apology as I knock on their window. Depending on how bad I felt, I might try to repeat the apology next week, seeing whether I can find them on the road or their destination at the same time
Lean into it and just flick them off. Unless you’re in America, because there, that shit will let you killed.
I usually wave at them as though I think they're a friend of mine just saying hello.
I don't, because being polite while driving is being unpredictable and that makes things more dangerous.
Instead I do what I want others to do which is just do a better job of paying attention and driving consistently. Making mistakes happen, just refocus and avoid making more.
This was me when I got off work today. I was trying to pass someone in front of me on the highway and signaled to move into the left lane. Did my usual couple seconds, saw nobody in my mirrors, and proceeded to move. Ended up cutting someone off that was in my blind spot. They honked and tried to run me off the road in response. I just kept driving like normal cause what happened happened. Dude followed me all the way back to my exit, so I decided instead of going home I'd drive through town. He eventually gave up and turned around to get back on the highway.
One hand vertically in from of sternum, wry expression.
People will not think "oh, he just made a mistake, bless his soul". Instead of thinking "fucking asshole" they will simply think "fucking idiot". Just keep driving, focus and try to make less mistakes.
One time a guy rear ended me (lightly, no damage) and when we got out he said "sorry, I started breaking but it was too late". I just laughed at how silly it sounded. Like yeah, the whole point of breaking is to stop before you hit someone. I think "sorry, I'm a bad driver" would be more honest. Hey, maybe that's a solution? Put a neon sign that says "shitty driver, sorry" in your back window and turn it on when you make mistakes.
And don't get me wrong, I know everyone makes mistakes. I just think "being sorry' is simply another excuse. "It wasn't on purpose so it's fine". It's still not fine. If it's happens rarely don't worry and keep driving. If it happens often get some extra classes or stop driving.
Slam on the brakes to assert you are a power bottom, hope for a love tap
Wave like an idiot, and pray they don't have a gun.
I remember not feeling in a good mood and I was sitting in the passenger seat and I pressed the steeing wheel to do the BEEP thing, cuz the car in the front wasn't moving when they're supposed to (like I think maybe red light just turned green or something and I was tired and wanna go home), and my parents was like "don't fucking do that, Americans are crazy, they get easily pissed off and they'll fucking shoot us dead"
I find that rolling over and showing my belly, while impractical, is reliably effective at diffusing these situations.
I wave the back of my hand with all my fingers up except my thumb, index, ring, and pinky
Usually I point at them aggressively to get their attention and then start miming Gluck glucking to show them how much of a dumb whore I am.
I don't think it's working though, usually they just flip me off and look real angry.
🤙
The middle finger. It has to be that.
middle finger
Bow head down slightly, lift your hand slightly like a weak wave, show a little humility in your eyes if they meet.
I've seen people put both hands up a little above the steering wheel and that was probably the clearest way I've seen.
Tokyo drift around in circles while fliffing out Benjamins.
If they honk and get mad? Usually with the middle finger.
Mom?
It's a big cliche and doesn't work anywhere else...
But in Hawaii you can literally do anything you want on the road, as long as you throw up a shaka after.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFIOTEyMT18
I've had this thought before. Like we've got dozens of ways to show insult or anger with a hand gesture, but no universal way to apologize with one
Usually just a wave, but I'll give a full blown "I have no idea what I'm doing!" shrug if I REALLY messed up.
🫢
arms crossed in front of chest with “my bad” face
So take both hands off the steering wheel?
That's why I only drive automatics, one hand adjusting the radio, one hand flipping people off, one knee driving.
That's the American way.
my knees work just fine, thank you
"Witnesses say they saw you with your arms crossed as you plowed into the building."
"Officer, I had my knees on the wheel. This was clearly the fault of a car malfunction."
I get ya, though.
What if I have no arms or legs?
Do you have a mouth to scream in the off chance you might want to?