The general scholarly consensus is that he did in fact exist. The only thing really up for debate is what he did or didn't do, and who he was or was not the son of.
What is reasonably likely is that there was a person named Yeshwa ben Yosef, born a few years before 0CE, died somewhere around 30CE, who preached and started a Judaism-based cult and who might've been a carpenter. He most likely had a reputation for miracles, which is mentioned in non-Christian sources which have no reason to glorify him. (Do note that modern cult leaders and televangelists also often have such reputations.) He was also probably crucified, although probably not for the reasons given in the Bible.
Things like his conception without sex or him being a fish copying machine have no evidence. It's not even sure if he claimed to be the son of God or the Messiah; apparently he did probably have an end-times cult and did probably assume that he'd get to run the world after divine rule is instituted globally.
So yeah, he probably was some dude who started a cult (which wasn't even that unusual at the time), was good enough at preaching to get a major audience, and was probably executed because sooner important people considered him a political threat. His cult survived him and people started embellishing his life just a tiny little bit.
Afaik, scholars say, some dude named Jesus probably lived about 2000 years ago and did do some preaching and possibly was crucified.
There is of course no evidence of divine relations or acts of magic.
The evidence being him being mentioned briefly in non-christian (roman) writings of the time.
The main takeaway from Jesus is his message. It's important to note that people's beliefs form their own reality. For example when Jesus did the whole fishes and loaves thing, he probably didn't multiply all that food. But the people listening to him believed in him and found it in themselves to share their food with the people who didn't have any. So it seemed like a miracle. When Jesus "healed lepers" it's because he treated them like people. A lot of the homeless are literally crazy because people ignore them, but if you take the effort to treat them like real people, then they act like normal people.
However, I agree there isn't a way to explain the resurrection. But that's the difference between Christians and non-Christians. You don't have to believe in the resurrection and that's a perfectly valid standpoint. But I really think it's an injustice to treat Jesus as a magic man when he really just wanted everyone to love each other. The people around him believed he was really the son of God and maybe that's simply because they had never received the unconditional love and respect Jesus would show them.
The current consensus has a lot of concessions baked in. These don't exactly make it a purely secular stance. Such as the order of the gospels, the date of the earliest manuscript, and "non canon" manuscripts being dated as "later" just simply because that fits the Christian narrative. And in fact, this consensus is starting to change, or at least being challenged more frequently.
The general scholarly consensus is that he did in fact exist. The only thing really up for debate is what he did or didn't do, and who he was or was not the son of.
To say that a thing existed - oh, except all these other things attributed to the thing are just bullshit, so you can ignore them - really does preclude the actual existence of the thing. Nobody cares if Jesus of Nazareth, the prehistoric huckster but otherwise normal human "existed." So did Rudy of Nazareth, but he was a used chariot salesman, and he didn't get lionized into mythology.
Yeah obviously this extremely important religious leader who was famously executed existed—that's why we have exactly 0 written record from anyone who ever claimed to have met anyone who ever claimed to have met him. That's why practically all the documentation of his life and deeds comes from decades after his high profile execution. Because he very definitely existed.
It's a little more complicated. There were a bunch of messianic cults at the time so it's likely a bunch of stories about multiple leaders were eventually all attributed to Jesus. And while there isn't any definitive proof the man existed, there's enough reasonable evidence that a guy called Yeshua from Nazareth existed that led a messianic cult, and more there's nothing that disputes the evidence of a man existing. But that's like saying we have evidence a guy called Bob from Newport existed, it was a common name. Anyway it's more there's nothing disproving his existence so there's no reason to think a guy didn't exist.
The biblical jesus didn't exist. There's evidence that a Jesus existed, and was notable enough to piss off the Roman administration.
A lot of the biblical stories are older than jesus however, so he has a lot of existing "lore" tacked on to him. He was likely a nomadic wise/holy man who built up a bit of a following and was then crucified.
there’s one mention of a jesus that fits, in roman records. one time, one person, wrote a name down.
could that be a real person or maybe a story about a person?
not just biblical stories predated jesus, but the entire story is exactly the same as Zoroaster.
from the exact same region, exact same people, “first recorded in the mid-6th century BCE”.
some people just made a reboot of Zoroastrianism… probably the romans, on purpose, to make their combo-religion to govern all romans (catholicism)
jesus did not exist at all
Seriously. Canada's got some similar shit going on, but it's not nearly as bad, and it seems unlikely to get that way. Plus, I'm already in a part of that new annexation of theirs.
My guess is that they are regretting it with the collapse of gambling tax revenue due to negative reaction to tarrifs and border patrol and travel shenanigans.
Sadly the part of Illinois South of I80 would prefer to not be included.
Source: me. Grew up there, have some relatives that still live there. The number of times I've heard them refer to themselves as Forgottentoian is to many.
Yeah, I only really have experience with upstate NY and out to central PA, maybe Altoona, Harrisburg at most, and even there it sucks. Upstate NY, I'm limited to 81 and it's surroundings because it's my route to Montreal, but it also sucks. The finger lakes are nice, saratoga's all right, but it's mainly awful.
I say it often, but NYC and Philadelphia have more in common with the sprawling suburbia that is NJ than they do their rural upstates.
Ngl my vindictive ass remembers Pennsylvania swinging to Trump 2024 with several voters (mainstream new interviews, so questionable representation) still saying “we’ll wait and see” a week before the election was due.
If it were up to me, you ARE the Ohio-Canada border; buffer state style. But it ain’t.
And Penn’s not even the only swing state to swing red, but the one I least expected to stomach attacks to democracy that Jan 6 and Project 20205 represented.
Super rant-y and spiteful, I just hate orange man and how swing state voting enabled him.
I'm no big fan of the idiots in my state that enabled Trump, but Pennsylvania (even accounting for Fetterman, the traitorous fuck) is nowhere near the shithole Ohio is.
Thanks for understanding the anger of a stranger man. I’ll take your word for it on Ohio. I only heard the memes, no concrete horrors. Give ‘em one for me if the worst is to come.
Would never intentionally leave someone to the US, but I do find the Michigan/Ohio rivalry very funny, so you can come but you have to wear a "Sorry I'm from Ohio" hat
It’s more of a crescent swath of blue than is drawn here. For example, the blue should extend down and around through Austin, Houston, and probably taper at New Orleans.
The monkey's paw curls as the part of that you left out happens too: they die and do not return, but people with a fundamental misunderstanding of the past and the nature of the message use the name of the movement and its figurehead as a banner to take over the world, colonising entire continents and spreading death and war in the name of the figurehead. The texts of the movement, made up by con-men and the wealthy and powerful, become the most-published texts of all time, and are genuinely read as literal truth by everyone who follows the movement.
I live in southern oregon and work in a conservative dominated industry. These people are actually insane. They are the embodiment of the memes and supposed strawmans about MAGA. Anytime somebody says conservatives don't actually believe something stupid they should have to spend a month with these guys. The year has been infuriating watching these guys complain about how bad shits going and then blaming everything but what they voted for.
Fucking take that stinking, exploitive, garbage wasteland hellscape. They can have it for free.
I've been to many of the states. Nevada, Florida, and Texas in particular are shitass places on the whole. Are there nice places in all of them? Sure. Do they have beautiful parks and natural wonders? Of course. However, I'd rather have my collar bone broken with a pipe wrench on a yearly basis rather than live anywhere in these trash states (with the exception of Austin, which I admit is pretty cool)
Half the joke of these maps is looking at State Of X and thinking its some kind of monolith, as though Pensytucky, Staten Island, southern Illinois, and Silicon Valley want anything to do with a Mark Carney government.
As someone who lives in Wisconsin I'm thankful for bordering Illinois and Minnesota. Otherwise I don't think we would've made the cut to get into the USC
Hmm,.so we'd have the bulk of EV sales, the better coast, all 5 great lakes, direct access to Mexico, additional ports for Pacific shipping, more than double our population, and be as far away from Alabama as possible?
If you include Colorado (you should, it’s very blue at this point) then you also get all the nuclear weapons and major military bases! You get NOAA, USGS, BLM and more!
Would you say it’s very blue? Was 54% for Harris in 2024, which is….blue, sure but not ‘very’ is it? Genuine question on that.
However , looking at the map, it’s basically what I thought, Denver does a ton of work yanking it left, where most other places are garbage. Obvious exceptions like the college towns, ski towns, and interestingly I think grand junction? That surprises me a bit, are left. However, all those bases that are supposedly the gains for Canada in this scenario…. Are quite red.
Any town in Colorado is pretty much blue. The red are from those living in the sticks. Even those barely voted red. Seeing how someone is saying we need to include Austin and Dallas in the map, then yeah Colorado (all of it) should definitely be on there.
Given "states" come from a period where the USA was more like the EU than a single state, its not that surprising that the naming stayed the same even as they changed from the AoC to the Constitution and the gradual increase in the federal government's role grew since to what it is today.
No way, mafia first. Business booms in blue places of tolerance where all are welcome and not well represented. Everyone in a position of power is a crook in red land
Stop lumping everyone in neat little buckets. Even in the most red of states you’d be abandoning 40% of voters to these fascists. This there are a lot of non voters.
And there are plenty of fascists in blue states and Canada.
It's not like you can swoop in and take just Austin. But if you storm in and take all of Texas, you'll be overrun by the majority of fascists.
I would say you need to take the blue and perhaps the purple states, get them self-sufficient with proper healthcare, raise the quality of life up to par, fix education, the judicial system, and elder care. The blue cities within the red states will gladly immigrate, leaving behind a broken and desolated hellscape in their wake that the rural residents wouldn't touch. Taxes will go through the roof with population drain. The blue cities and suburbs will grow. You'll get more of the red to convert. Your own housing crisis will just evaporate.
If you try to eat the red shit-sandwhich whole, the red will just add to your own red and we'll be drinking our poison from the same vine.
NOFX, JeusLand. I love this song. NOFX taught me a lot about satire when I was a teen. See the song, "You Drink, You Drive, You Spill," and 'Drugs Are Cool."
I want some drugs. Life sucked less when I was taking them. But also, we didn't have a fucking batshit leader. Give me drugs so I won't care.
Richard Morgan's sci-fi book Black Man has Jesusland outlined similarly. I believe he noted in the forward that he got the idea from some other work. I mean, it's not really a stretch.
No one in St. Louis will fight you on becoming part of Illinois so we can gtfo of the shithole that the rest of MO is (sans KC and Columbia, they are good people)
I took Nate Silver's post 2024 election MAGAland map (https://www.natesilver.net/p/its-2004-all-over-again) and updated it based on the Canadian 2025 election to make it more relevant to today. Manitoba elected an equal amount of NDP/Liberal to Conservative members of parliment.
If we kicked out all the Americans that live there it wouldn’t be the 4th largest economy. While it would solve our winter food shortages it’s not worth it.
Also I oppose the economy as an institution as it represents how much exploitation a given area has.
Canada is doing this to Jesusland as well.
Hawt
Oh no. I live right underneath Canada's balls.
Taintland checking in
Usussy
You're now a moderator in !mapporn
Ohhhhh Canada!
You're down bad...
I don't think Jesus would want to be associated with this dump.
Well, good, he won't be as upset when he gets deported.
i don’t think jesus ever actually existed
Neither did Frodo Baggins, but he wouldn’t want to be associated with America either.
The general scholarly consensus is that he did in fact exist. The only thing really up for debate is what he did or didn't do, and who he was or was not the son of.
Unlikely.
What is reasonably likely is that there was a person named Yeshwa ben Yosef, born a few years before 0CE, died somewhere around 30CE, who preached and started a Judaism-based cult and who might've been a carpenter. He most likely had a reputation for miracles, which is mentioned in non-Christian sources which have no reason to glorify him. (Do note that modern cult leaders and televangelists also often have such reputations.) He was also probably crucified, although probably not for the reasons given in the Bible.
Things like his conception without sex or him being a fish copying machine have no evidence. It's not even sure if he claimed to be the son of God or the Messiah; apparently he did probably have an end-times cult and did probably assume that he'd get to run the world after divine rule is instituted globally.
So yeah, he probably was some dude who started a cult (which wasn't even that unusual at the time), was good enough at preaching to get a major audience, and was probably executed because sooner important people considered him a political threat. His cult survived him and people started embellishing his life just a tiny little bit.
That is an incredibly appropriate username.
Afaik, scholars say, some dude named Jesus probably lived about 2000 years ago and did do some preaching and possibly was crucified. There is of course no evidence of divine relations or acts of magic. The evidence being him being mentioned briefly in non-christian (roman) writings of the time.
The main takeaway from Jesus is his message. It's important to note that people's beliefs form their own reality. For example when Jesus did the whole fishes and loaves thing, he probably didn't multiply all that food. But the people listening to him believed in him and found it in themselves to share their food with the people who didn't have any. So it seemed like a miracle. When Jesus "healed lepers" it's because he treated them like people. A lot of the homeless are literally crazy because people ignore them, but if you take the effort to treat them like real people, then they act like normal people.
However, I agree there isn't a way to explain the resurrection. But that's the difference between Christians and non-Christians. You don't have to believe in the resurrection and that's a perfectly valid standpoint. But I really think it's an injustice to treat Jesus as a magic man when he really just wanted everyone to love each other. The people around him believed he was really the son of God and maybe that's simply because they had never received the unconditional love and respect Jesus would show them.
The current consensus has a lot of concessions baked in. These don't exactly make it a purely secular stance. Such as the order of the gospels, the date of the earliest manuscript, and "non canon" manuscripts being dated as "later" just simply because that fits the Christian narrative. And in fact, this consensus is starting to change, or at least being challenged more frequently.
To say that a thing existed - oh, except all these other things attributed to the thing are just bullshit, so you can ignore them - really does preclude the actual existence of the thing. Nobody cares if Jesus of Nazareth, the prehistoric huckster but otherwise normal human "existed." So did Rudy of Nazareth, but he was a used chariot salesman, and he didn't get lionized into mythology.
Yeah obviously this extremely important religious leader who was famously executed existed—that's why we have exactly 0 written record from anyone who ever claimed to have met anyone who ever claimed to have met him. That's why practically all the documentation of his life and deeds comes from decades after his high profile execution. Because he very definitely existed.
that’s not true
It's a little more complicated. There were a bunch of messianic cults at the time so it's likely a bunch of stories about multiple leaders were eventually all attributed to Jesus. And while there isn't any definitive proof the man existed, there's enough reasonable evidence that a guy called Yeshua from Nazareth existed that led a messianic cult, and more there's nothing that disputes the evidence of a man existing. But that's like saying we have evidence a guy called Bob from Newport existed, it was a common name. Anyway it's more there's nothing disproving his existence so there's no reason to think a guy didn't exist.
The biblical jesus didn't exist. There's evidence that a Jesus existed, and was notable enough to piss off the Roman administration.
A lot of the biblical stories are older than jesus however, so he has a lot of existing "lore" tacked on to him. He was likely a nomadic wise/holy man who built up a bit of a following and was then crucified.
there’s one mention of a jesus that fits, in roman records. one time, one person, wrote a name down.
could that be a real person or maybe a story about a person?
not just biblical stories predated jesus, but the entire story is exactly the same as Zoroaster.
from the exact same region, exact same people, “first recorded in the mid-6th century BCE”.
some people just made a reboot of Zoroastrianism… probably the romans, on purpose, to make their combo-religion to govern all romans (catholicism)
jesus did not exist at all
I don't think Peter Pan or Luke Skywalker would want to be associated with him either
He doesn't really have a choice. Sometimes you just got to grab them by the son of God.
It would be more accurate to call it Supply-Side-Jesusland.
Seriously. Canada's got some similar shit going on, but it's not nearly as bad, and it seems unlikely to get that way. Plus, I'm already in a part of that new annexation of theirs.
Everyone should approve this maps because it makes Canada look like a cute dragon puffing out a little fire newfoundland
You might also like the elephant in Southern Ontario
I have never seen this before and I am chuffed
Owen Sound never gets tired of this one.
Sure don't!
Owen Sound, where even the pretty people are ugly!
Well now i can't unsee it
You must be awesome playing staring-at-clouds.
I think they would sooner call it The Confederate States of America.
Gilead
Blessed be the fruit.
New Confederate states of America
*United provinces of Canada
And Territories.
Canada
As a Coloradian I hate this
They can just grab Nevada on their way to Colorado to pick you up. It's purple and full of sinners anyway. But what do you propose to do with Utah?
Nevada gave its electoral votes to Trump. They wouldn't leave Jesusland without a fight.
My guess is that they are regretting it with the collapse of gambling tax revenue due to negative reaction to tarrifs and border patrol and travel shenanigans.
Burn to a crisp?
Missing Alberta
And Hawaii
And Alaska
And Alcatraz
And my axe
Careful with that axe Eugene
Absolutely Mr Floyd
probably underwater by now due to climate change.
cries in Tuvalu
Thank you for including us!
Sincerely,
An Illinois Resident
Sadly the part of Illinois South of I80 would prefer to not be included. Source: me. Grew up there, have some relatives that still live there. The number of times I've heard them refer to themselves as Forgottentoian is to many.
I grew up in southern Illinois as well. Can confirm.
That's where all of my most racist relatives live.
Trust me when I say you don't want the interiors of any of these states. Eastern Oregon, Southern Illinois, upstate New York, etc.
give them a short notice to make their decision and get out
Southern Illinois already wants to cede and merge into Indiana today. I don't think you'd have problems with the others following suit
Yeah, I only really have experience with upstate NY and out to central PA, maybe Altoona, Harrisburg at most, and even there it sucks. Upstate NY, I'm limited to 81 and it's surroundings because it's my route to Montreal, but it also sucks. The finger lakes are nice, saratoga's all right, but it's mainly awful.
I say it often, but NYC and Philadelphia have more in common with the sprawling suburbia that is NJ than they do their rural upstates.
Yes, in the PNW there is a shift from blue to red crossing the Cascades. And even rural areas west of them are pretty red.
As a Michigander I'm very pleased this seems to include us and also vitally excludes Ohio
As a Pennsylvanian, I am also ecstatic that we get to join Canada and Ohio doesn't. God please yes put a solid border between us and Ohio.
Ngl my vindictive ass remembers Pennsylvania swinging to Trump 2024 with several voters (mainstream new interviews, so questionable representation) still saying “we’ll wait and see” a week before the election was due.
If it were up to me, you ARE the Ohio-Canada border; buffer state style. But it ain’t.
And Penn’s not even the only swing state to swing red, but the one I least expected to stomach attacks to democracy that Jan 6 and Project 20205 represented.
Super rant-y and spiteful, I just hate orange man and how swing state voting enabled him.I'm no big fan of the idiots in my state that enabled Trump, but Pennsylvania (even accounting for Fetterman, the traitorous fuck) is nowhere near the shithole Ohio is.
After spending time in both ... No.
Thanks for understanding the anger of a stranger man. I’ll take your word for it on Ohio. I only heard the memes, no concrete horrors. Give ‘em one for me if the worst is to come.
It's just a meme because it's beige.
As an Ohioan, TAKE ME WITH YOU PLEASE D:
Would never intentionally leave someone to the US, but I do find the Michigan/Ohio rivalry very funny, so you can come but you have to wear a "Sorry I'm from Ohio" hat
I have no loyalties to Ohio, but I do have loyalties to my city on the sole basis of Cincinnati chili and literally nothing else
Ohio: The Mississippi of the rust belt.
The tough part is that Colorado and Nee Mexico would want to be with Canada but are cut off via Nevada and Utah.
We can swap the populations with Alberta
Arizona is fairly liberal, even though we turned red last election. If you add AZ then NM and CO have a contiguous path back!
It’s more of a crescent swath of blue than is drawn here. For example, the blue should extend down and around through Austin, Houston, and probably taper at New Orleans.
Unironically, please? I don't wanna be part of Jesusland anymore
If only they act like a Jesus
Die and never to be seen again?
The monkey's paw curls as the part of that you left out happens too: they die and do not return, but people with a fundamental misunderstanding of the past and the nature of the message use the name of the movement and its figurehead as a banner to take over the world, colonising entire continents and spreading death and war in the name of the figurehead. The texts of the movement, made up by con-men and the wealthy and powerful, become the most-published texts of all time, and are genuinely read as literal truth by everyone who follows the movement.
They just act like the wrong one, the one that walks around saying "you don't fuck with the Jesus!"
Last South Park Season got it right with Magajesus
This Canadian says fuck no unless we export all the MAGA and purge all the handguns.
I've been in parts of rural Oregon before. They grow them dumb and mean there. Some of the worst people I've ever met in my life were in rural Oregon.
Way different than weird Portland.
Californian here.
It's the same with California. Once you get out of population centers it doesn't take too long before you're in "I Fuck My Cousin" territory.
I think that might be true for basically every state. Rural areas are not that different across the country.
Dumb and mean are the median traits of MAGA
I live in southern oregon and work in a conservative dominated industry. These people are actually insane. They are the embodiment of the memes and supposed strawmans about MAGA. Anytime somebody says conservatives don't actually believe something stupid they should have to spend a month with these guys. The year has been infuriating watching these guys complain about how bad shits going and then blaming everything but what they voted for.
planning to expel all gop from office, and any of thier supporters. considering gop states already trying to expel Dem voters anyways.
lol that jesusland gets las vegas
Fucking take that stinking, exploitive, garbage wasteland hellscape. They can have it for free.
I've been to many of the states. Nevada, Florida, and Texas in particular are shitass places on the whole. Are there nice places in all of them? Sure. Do they have beautiful parks and natural wonders? Of course. However, I'd rather have my collar bone broken with a pipe wrench on a yearly basis rather than live anywhere in these trash states (with the exception of Austin, which I admit is pretty cool)
Vegas isn’t bad so long as you never go to the strip.
That's the sorta thing you pay somebody to just get it the hell out of here. Like an asbestos problem.
What is this bullshit. AZ, NM, CO, NV do not belong in Jesusland
Half the joke of these maps is looking at State Of X and thinking its some kind of monolith, as though Pensytucky, Staten Island, southern Illinois, and Silicon Valley want anything to do with a Mark Carney government.
Silicon Valley would be 100% with the current government. All of the owners/founders benefit greatly from Neo-Lib policies.
Just Colorado Springs, specifically
I thought it was pretty appropriate that Jesusland was keeping Sin City. It's like Gilead having Jezebels for the officers.
They only care about the appearance of piety. A lot of "decent Christians" live double lives, especially those who have power.
Californian here.
Where do I sign?
I’m right behind you!
As someone who lives in Wisconsin I'm thankful for bordering Illinois and Minnesota. Otherwise I don't think we would've made the cut to get into the USC
As someone who knows a lot of wisconsinites I can confirm
Shouldn't Alberta be part of Jesusland?
Don't worry, the CIA is trying to do a little regime change in Alberta as a treat. That's where all the oil is!
Southwest Canada reporting in. I'll admit we're flirting with joining Denmark.
Sorry.
That's fine. We understand.
As an American, this is accurate. Include Hawaii in the blue and Alaska in the Red.
"Want a break from this brutal winter? Visit the province of Hawaii!"
Please don’t leave us here in Colorado to face the darkness alone…
We gotcha fam.. Think West Berlin!
Hmm,.so we'd have the bulk of EV sales, the better coast, all 5 great lakes, direct access to Mexico, additional ports for Pacific shipping, more than double our population, and be as far away from Alabama as possible?
Sweet friggin deal, eh?
If you include Colorado (you should, it’s very blue at this point) then you also get all the nuclear weapons and major military bases! You get NOAA, USGS, BLM and more!
We make Colorado like West Berlin was during the Cold War.
A little island of freedom in an authoritarian sea.
Would you say it’s very blue? Was 54% for Harris in 2024, which is….blue, sure but not ‘very’ is it? Genuine question on that. However , looking at the map, it’s basically what I thought, Denver does a ton of work yanking it left, where most other places are garbage. Obvious exceptions like the college towns, ski towns, and interestingly I think grand junction? That surprises me a bit, are left. However, all those bases that are supposedly the gains for Canada in this scenario…. Are quite red.
Any town in Colorado is pretty much blue. The red are from those living in the sticks. Even those barely voted red. Seeing how someone is saying we need to include Austin and Dallas in the map, then yeah Colorado (all of it) should definitely be on there.
.. …. Colorado Springs? Pueblo? Looks like Trinidad? All the eastern towns limon? I mean….
I've heard Jesus Land is a fucking hellhole
We have provinces and territories.
What is a province but a state by another name
Provinces have better herbs
Poor New Mexico,
It's OK everyone forgets new Mexico so they might just get by unnoticed
Shouldn't Alberta be part of Jesusland?
Shhh, we need oil!
Unacceptable. We should have Hawaii too.
Alaska can become independent. We'll rename it "New Greenland"
Seriously:
"State" containing "states"
"America" in "America"
US folks have a problem with naming.
Given "states" come from a period where the USA was more like the EU than a single state, its not that surprising that the naming stayed the same even as they changed from the AoC to the Constitution and the gradual increase in the federal government's role grew since to what it is today.
Sorry, but Colorado can’t join because otherwise we’d have border gore. Exclaves are too messy, what can you do. 🤷🏼♂️
Or you could go west. Depends on if you want to fight cowboys in Wyoming and Nazis in Idaho, or Mormons in Utah and the mafia in Nevada.
No way, mafia first. Business booms in blue places of tolerance where all are welcome and not well represented. Everyone in a position of power is a crook in red land
Stop lumping everyone in neat little buckets. Even in the most red of states you’d be abandoning 40% of voters to these fascists. This there are a lot of non voters.
And there are plenty of fascists in blue states and Canada.
It's not like you can swoop in and take just Austin. But if you storm in and take all of Texas, you'll be overrun by the majority of fascists.
I would say you need to take the blue and perhaps the purple states, get them self-sufficient with proper healthcare, raise the quality of life up to par, fix education, the judicial system, and elder care. The blue cities within the red states will gladly immigrate, leaving behind a broken and desolated hellscape in their wake that the rural residents wouldn't touch. Taxes will go through the roof with population drain. The blue cities and suburbs will grow. You'll get more of the red to convert. Your own housing crisis will just evaporate.
If you try to eat the red shit-sandwhich whole, the red will just add to your own red and we'll be drinking our poison from the same vine.
Count me in, Illinois fucking hates Trump. Well, at least the useful part up north of I-88.
I think I80 is more of the cutoff point, my opinion. 88 goes right through the middle of suburban cities.
Weeeeel... Technically... I'm a North sider though. But fine, I-80.
sigh id only have to move one state over...
CSAL: the Christian State of American Liberty, home of Y'all Queda
Jesus would abandon those idiots within a New York second and take his name with him. Rename it to The Fucknut Confederation.
all these people who think jesus was all peace and love really highlight just how little they've read the bible
Gilead*
Please don't leave New Mexico out. We're cool I promise!
Ok, New Mexico can join
As a resident of illinois, I am honored to be included.
As a resident of a neighboring state, I'm crossing the border.
Republicanistan.
NOFX, JeusLand. I love this song. NOFX taught me a lot about satire when I was a teen. See the song, "You Drink, You Drive, You Spill," and 'Drugs Are Cool."
I want some drugs. Life sucked less when I was taking them. But also, we didn't have a fucking batshit leader. Give me drugs so I won't care.
From one random guy to another, I agree 100%. Take me all the way to bat country.
As a North Carolinian. Take me with you
Then free Québec so they can speak french in peace 😂
Christians hate socialists of color (like Jesus) though
Yes please!
We call them Provinces here.
Richard Morgan's sci-fi book Black Man has Jesusland outlined similarly. I believe he noted in the forward that he got the idea from some other work. I mean, it's not really a stretch.
Fuck you I live in the middle of that red area and I want out give me Blue too!
You'll have to lop off the Eastern halves of Cali and Oregon unless we want to drag those dimwits into the future with us
Ship them to Idaho-ho-ho!
Let's do it!
Colorado is not going to fall….we can take Nevada, Arizona and Utah easy they are very purple and sparsely populated
Yeah, Nevada, Arizona and New Mexico, yes. I’m not sure about Utah though. Isn’t Utah a hard red state?
It is but it only has 3.5 million and Colorado needs a path to freedom.
At least the bottom half of Illinois would be part of Jesusland.
The nation's second largest cross is in Effingham, IL.
https://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/10913
Well that was a messed up read.
No one in St. Louis will fight you on becoming part of Illinois so we can gtfo of the shithole that the rest of MO is (sans KC and Columbia, they are good people)
Welcome to Illinois! We have the best pizza.
@Sine_Fine_Belli
I took Nate Silver's post 2024 election MAGAland map (https://www.natesilver.net/p/its-2004-all-over-again) and updated it based on the Canadian 2025 election to make it more relevant to today. Manitoba elected an equal amount of NDP/Liberal to Conservative members of parliment.
Would I have to learn to play hockey?
You'll be pleased to learn that Canada has 2 official national sports: hockey and lacrosse.
Hockey or curling. Your choice.
I'm having flashbacks of reading Fall; or, Dodge in Hell
This. We're already there.
New Jerusalem
Damn, sometimes I forget Trump is serious about Greenland and 51st State Canada. Fun times 💀
Ok
No thanks, just return our portion of Maine.
So, you don't want to absorb what would be the 4th largest economy on the world if it was on its own?
If we kicked out all the Americans that live there it wouldn’t be the 4th largest economy. While it would solve our winter food shortages it’s not worth it.
Also I oppose the economy as an institution as it represents how much exploitation a given area has.
Florida should become part of Australia.