The answer is to fight for a healthcare system that covers all health (including mental) instead of trying to be the most effective funnel of money from the poor into the coffers of the rich.
Sadly, the people who are most lacking in mental health support are largely the ones who actively fight against such a structure (because propaganda works).
You seem to think that box #2 is the last hope. I'm not ready to give up on that one yet. But if things get so bad that the ballot box truly doesn't matter any more, we still have two more to defend liberty with. I hope we never again need the fourth box.
Throwing your hands in the air and saying "it's too rigged, there's no hope" is exactly what the opps want.
Therapists cost around $100hr where I'm at. It's the height of privilege and tone deafness to just toss out "get therapy" at every depressed fucker out there. The same people screaming for empathy seem to lack their own.
He ignored her suffering and diminished it saying that for 5 days a month she feels what he deals with every day. He's ignoring her point and one-upping her. That's toxic behaviour that doesn't help anything.
That he is also suffering is a separate conversation that also needs to take place but that's a different conversation. The first step is resolving conflict is by listening to the other person's point of view, not dismissing it as less important.
They're both being toxic in the comic, so trying to play it as if either is more correct is being disingenuous and is a massive source of the confusion in this discussion.
ah okay you got me, but that does not at all make this comic not mysogynistic. There is none of that context here. I dont care about this dudes opinion
I had not considered that, so thanks for pointing that out. Upon checking the comic more closely, I don't get any hint that it's making fun of misogynists, but it's certainly possible.
I refuse to believe we're living in a world where meme literally got Trump elected and people are still acting like "just a meme" is a thing. Jokes don't exist in a vacuum, meaning is inherently tied to humor and can be read from it.
I think the issue here is that shorthair cannot know for sure what longhair is experiencing, exactly. Shorthair has experienced something that they would describe in the same way, but neither can know with certainty what the other experiences.
It is perfectly understandable to relate to others in pain by sharing your own pain with them, but it can come across as a bit dismissive sometimes, I think that's the root of the discourse here.
She wasn't merely saying, "I'm suffering". The comic starts with, "you don't understand". It starts with her dismissing the comiseration attempt.
This highroad is cute and all, but it's grossly ignorant to reality or the fact that there are no heroes in this comic: It is not one side being dismissed. It is both sides failing to communicate. They are both talking past each other.
What the person you replied to is correct regardless of the genders involved. When someone brings up a problem to you, it's a rude thing to immediately respond in ways that make it about you and your own pain. There's a line between sharing your own experiences to establish understanding and empathy and making it the pain Olympics.
Especially in this comic, the man couldn't possibly understand how it feels to have the unfortunate symptoms that come from having periods, and he instantly equates putting up with his partner during their period as equivalent. It's eye rolling on multiple levels.
He never made it about him. You made it about him. Where did he equate it to putting up with her? He didn't, you did. He only explained how he could in fact understand her pain. You are saying he can never express his pain, he can only agree with her, pure bigotry
I never said he couldn't express his pain. I said, regardless of genders, this way of expressing it is simply rude and not a good way to communicate in any kind of relationship. When someone brings up something that is bothering them, and your immediate response is "yeah, but me", you're being a jerk. Since this seems to be escaping you, this doesn't mean the other person isn't allowed to talk about their feelings. They simply need to be an adult and do it at a more appropriate time or in a more appropriate way. Conversations like this aren't a battle to be won, they are a tool used to solve a problem or simply vent frustration.
You seem to be looking at this in a very black and white way. Therapy can help with that. It's not a fun way to go through life.
Heheh, I've been checking out your comment history and you're on quite the crusade! I don't know if I agree with everything you say, but I can get behind the determined fury. I can be like that too, and I'm not gonna downvote anyone else for doing the same, because this place does get a bit kumbaya and dissent-averse at times, and I think it's fair to call shit out.
So you're just ignoring the part where the woman says that the man doesn't understand? That's the whole reason why he says how he feels. He's not just saying that to undermine her struggle. He's explaining why he thinks he understands her better than she thinks.
I feel like if this was a specific character going "wait that's not normal lol" the joke would land better. But as it is the only frame of reference we have is one representing women and one representing men.
And it just all falls flat because women can have mental illnesses too? And yes men are forced to repress it more often but women often have their physical or mental health dismissed or ignored so it's not much better either way.
I'm trans so I'll never face a period but I can't imagine the agony of going through one in addition to a mental health crisis or other sickness. And it's not like women get "period days off" of work or school so you're just expected to push through it.
I’m grateful you will never have to deal with it, it makes me a little jealous. If you ever want to imagine what bad cramps feel like, imagine a power drill plunged into your belly, whirring at full speed. 😭
Huh, I didn't know about this. I have no clue what could be the issue, although the captcha theory sounds reasonable. I'm sure the lemmy.zip admins would appreciate it if you let them know about this issue (unless they already do know about it (: )
Man can't even explain why he understands her pain without shitheads like you mocking them. He never said her pain was lesser, he was explaining his own pain, grow some empathy
Edit:actually I'm not fucking done. This is why men suffer in silence, this is why we avoid therapy our problems are mocked, emotional trauma and mental illness are character flaws instead of something to be treated when men have them
He says that he feels like this all the time, while she only feels like that five days a month. Sure, he is not saying that her pain is lesser, but he is saying that he is suffering more. And that is what (most) people here mock. That this comic suggests that men suffer more than women. That responding to someone explaining their pain with "actually, I suffer like that all the time" is childish behavior. This isn't about men sharing their pain, it's about the one-upping what she is saying.
You're not going to salvage this one. Neither of the characters are being good, and we both know the guy is assumed to be the bigger asshole in this comic. Regardless of what realities exist, most people are going to read what is presented as misogynistic.
The truth is, they're both failing to communicate, so anyone using this as a sexist cudgel is only revealing their own bias. Because, again, they both suck in this comic. There are no heroes here, so anyone claiming otherwise is... ignorant at best.
No, all humans should sympathize and empathize instead of measure and compare when it comes to suffering.
You interpret it as a man vs woman thing because you consume mysogynistic ideology, willingly or not
Do you have kids? One you get along with toddlers and their mothers as an adult man you should have the tools necessary to break free from that stuff. Good luck.
Man, I get it. You see how man are treated with less empathy, their pain diminished, their emotions denied and then faulted for being angry all the time, the only emotion that seems to be acceptable as a man. But you're going to hard in the other direction. It's not just black and white. Just because a man is talking about his pain doesn't mean he can't be a dick about it. And that is what this comic demonstrates. If you're honest to yourself I'm sure you can see that too. If not, you know, sorry to hear. Not much I can do to change your mind.
Just like man/bear, the difference is this one can be interpreted as pro-men in its sentiment which tends to shake the tree, making examples of the Empathy Gap fall out
Power: Bah, you're just complaining because you're a woman.
Man: I too am experiencing pain.
Power: Bah, you're just complaining because you're a woman.
Transwoman: I too am experiencing pain. Hunh... Maybe I am a woman.
Power: Nope, you're just complaining because you're a wom-, uh... man...? Er, wait... how do we patronize you? What the...?
Transman: I also --
Power: Stop! Just... Stop thinking and feed the machine that makes us powerful, damn it! Fuck's sake, this was so much simpler when we could just claim divine right.
I immediately understood it to be a description of severe depression. If a neurotypical person suddenly experiences a low from a period similar to a depressed person's average day, why is it suddenly misogyny?
Because the depressed person is a man, there are many people who still treat mental illness and emotional trauma as character flaws, but only when men have them, otherwise it's all about listening and believing. Tl;dr: sexism against men is far more rampant and casually accepted than people think
I'd be more willing to listen if y'all didnt insist on naming your ideological evil after men then wondering why so many are skeptical everything you say, it demonizes half the population.
Patriarchy? It's not named after men, it's named for "patriarch" - it means "rule of the father". It is very present in many typical households, where a male father figure makes and enforces the rules of the household. This serves as something of a microcosm of society at large.
I think you are seeing this as some sort of "battle of the sexes", like women vs. men kind of a situation - that's not what it's about, it just has been a historical fact, in most societies, going all the way back to the concept of dowry payments that a "father of the house" makes the decisions, up to and including decisions for women and girls, such as who they will marry, and so on, but in return this means that men have to perform a specific role and have a lot of pressures and expectations placed upon them, which can lead to very harmful effects on men too.
Feminism is fighting for men and women against a harmful ideology that primarily benefits the men of the ruling class.
"It's not named after men" "rule of the father" what gender is a father typically? I don't see it as a battle of the sexes, it's a battle for basic human empathy
Could you explain a little more what you mean? I thought my comment explained pretty thoroughly why patriarchy is named as such, can you explain why you object to it, and where you feel that lack of empathy?
Yuck. Lemmy has a misogynistic streak and this bullshit doesn't help. The account is less than a day old and I'm wondering if I should block it now or wait and see what else they post...
Edit: there's no joke here. He's saying that men experience an amount of stress equivalent to menstruation on a daily basis. And that is staggeringly pathetic. Women deal with this pain and discomfort one week a month and still manage to live fulfilling lives. Men don't have that the added physical burden and still can't achieve emotional regulation and fulfillment?
He's not saying anything about men generally, YOU are.
The man in this comic is talking about himself, not men. Do you think it's not possible for a man to feel the level of stress a woman feels from her period, as his baseline due to mental health issues? If I'm a severely distressed or depressed man, there's not a world where my daily average is on par or worse than a woman on her period?
Can you put your own lived experience on any higher of a pedestal over others?
I find it interesting that your position is that mens lives are free from repeated stresses. Yes women have menstruation but you seem to be implying that that is the only reason for someone to be emotionally unregulated. Maybe men are just literally emotionally unstable by default. If there is a genetic predisposition for emotional dysfunction are men still evil for not being able to control their emotions? Do we know everything there is to know about the human mind or physiology? Because I don't believe we do. It is certainly interesting that there is such a mountain of evidence that men cannot control their emotions in the same manner as women but the response is always and only "suck it up" and "it's societies fault" and never "perhaps there is a deeper reason."
Additionally and more on topic, the comics talking about one dude personal experience. Why have you generalized it into being descriptive of all men. Sounds like misandry.
Eh even if you want to bring your own emotional problems into a discussion like this, probably a better way is to go along the lines of "I understand how you feel, I often feel that way too. I find [this method] to be very helpful when dealing with it." bla bla, rather than turning it into a piss contest (or contunuing it if it started off like that).
Also I feel like this comic tries to speak in place of all men. I might be wrong but if indeed so, I don't feel like that all the time. Sure I do feel like that sometimes but definitely not even every month. I got my other problems, I am not problem free, but this is not it. So if this man feels like that all the time, he should probably try to have an open hearted discussion about it with someone who can understand rather than get angry about it. And if the other person makes fun of him for that, maybe he should consider his ties with that person because there are definitely people who are more understanding.
I can't guarantee it, but I'd guess the girl is talking about their period. I don't think that him giving advice is helpful in this context and from your comment it seems like maybe that wasn't how you understood the comic. Just adding that because it seems like your comment has a good intent but might not relate to how some people interpret the comic.
Yea I also thought of the woman talking about her period. Obviously it is impossible for the man to feel sympathy to all aspects of physical and emotional discomfort felt during a period but I was focusing mostly on the psychological aspects in isolation from all the other aspects.
People yelling misogyny are not comprehending shorthair’s unresolved mental health crisis. JimBenton is exemplifying someone who has the bloodlust, depression and self-disgust and needs a therapist to help tackle the issue.
It's legitimately amazing women can endure a flaw in our biology and have emotional endurance NOT to kill, feel disgust, and depression ALL the time. But most other mammals do not have periods. We fucked up our evolution along the way.
Hopefully we can fix those genetic errors next CRISPR research. In the meantime, if you find people like shorthair, intervene, and recommend them a good psychiatrist.
users can't adapt the text for dyslexia or vision impairments
systems can't read the text to them or send it to braille devices
searchability: the "text" isn't indexable by search engine in a meaningful way
fault tolerance: no text fallback if
image breaks
image host is geoblocked due to insane regulations.
Contrary to age & humble appearance, text is an advanced technology that provides all these capabilities absent from images.
:::
This comic sure rustled an awful lot of jimmies.
adequately filling field Alt Text in post submission/edit forms
setting the field URL to a source or archival snapshot that is accessible
providing an accessible description in the field Title or Body
beginning the field Body with a link (so it's directly adjacent to image) to an accessible equivalent or description
or any other possibility as long as it achieves accessibility.
In general, it depends on the situation.
Screenshot of social media text content: link to the source or its archival snapshot.
Image of pure text: don't post that, post text instead.
Did you see any posts on international men's day on Lemmy? Because I didn't, and I also forgot. No one fucking cares. The only time it gets bought up is on 8 march because of douchebags. And doesn't even get mentioned on the fucking day it happens , even by people who know about it, because we also forget
Lots of arguing here who has it worse. Hard to get objective comparisons.
I suppose asking post-op trans people might be the best way to come closest to objective information on the subject. Wonder if the data from transfemmes and transmascs would be significantly different.
Depression from being forced to grow up the opposite gender entirely removes my objectivity on this topic. Cis men don't experience that same feeling so I can't comment on what they feel.
I can say I personally feel a lot better as a woman though.
Also, cis women can stop their periods. My roommate has a thing injected in their arm for birth control that also fully stops their periods for (iirc) ~5 years.
Also I saw online that if you skip a dose of pill birth control before your period you can also skip the period, but I don't have a uterus so I can't confirm if that's true lol
edit: This topic is a lot more complicated than I thought it was. I apologize.
Saying cis women can just stop their periods if they feel like it is a vast over simplification. Birth control fucks with your hormones often in very unpredictable ways. My friend had a light period for like 3 months straight due to her birth control and the doctors said that was fine and normal. In me, birth control triggered treatment resistant suicidal depression that I deal with to this day. In my sister, it gave wild mood swings and general emotional instability. My other sister was just plain allergic to it.
It's dangerous for women to go on hormonal birth control even though it's so common and normalized. Women's Healthcare in the USA is so hit or miss, and doctors are often uninformed or dismissive. Maybe you live elsewhere where it's better?
Please understand that periods are absolutely not optional. Even a complete hysterectomy (not that many of us could be granted one anyway) would trigger early menopause which is its own host of issues.
Menopause or perimenopause? Menopause is just the day that a woman hasn't had a period for 365 days. After that day, they're post menopause. Leading up to menopause is called perimenopause and it can last up to 10 years and start for some women in their late 30s. I hope I'm not coming off as rude, I just like to try and educate people about this sort of thing because for much too long women have not openly talked about perimenopause/menopause and us elder millennials and Gen xers currently going through it are no longer staying silent about it as our mothers and grandmother's did.
Damn thank you for sharing that. I can't believe how little we all know about menopause considering almost half of humanity will eventually go through it!
As far as I know, it's also barely taught in medical school. So doctor's aren't even that educated about it. Luckily there are more and more female doctors that are pushing for more education about perimenopause/menopause. If your interested, I highly recommend reading The Menopause Brain by Dr. Lisa Mosconi. She's a neurosurgeon who is currently researching the effects of menopause on the brain and also Alzheimer's. It's a very informative read. :-)
I appreciate your explanation! My mother and her generation never spoke of perimenopause, menopause, or even periods and their issues in general. I’m an elder millennial with a Gen X friend and we talk about it pretty often. My older colleagues have also started being open about their experiences, we pass info along to each other via email.
It’s so nice to see the information becoming more talked about, especially since I’m getting into the perimenopause phase of life.
Yes! I think it's great that it's getting talked about now more amongst women. The generations before us seemed more ashamed to talk about things women go through as we age. It's great that we're breaking down that barrier and that taboo that was assigned to aging.
I've noticed a trend (at least in online spaces I've been in) that trans women are much more present and vocal about their experiences than trans men. Do you have any observations on that topic? I wonder if trans women are simply more numerous, or perhaps trans men have more reasons to not be so vocal, e.g., ingrained shyness etc.
I know that on Lemmy specifically the number of trans women is significantly higher than the number of trans men, iirc Tumblr Pinterest and bluesky are places that trans men tend to be more dominant.
There is also a point that there's not much about men that women don't already know compared to the VAST amount of things that men don't know about women.
So when someone switches gender the transfems tend to have a lot more learning and will overshare their experiences to help prevent the struggle for the next transfems that come along.
though obviously that's not to downplay the issues that trans men experience, there's a lot of things that I thought were obvious that my transmasc friends had no idea about
I'm going to HARD disagree on women knowing more about men, I was raised surrounded by women, two sisters, single mother, three aunts, all cousins but one are women in my generation too, and they had no idea what to do with us, plenty of women still think an erection means consent for God's sake
Cis man, lifelong treatment resistant depression here, I might not understand disphoria, but I sure as shit know depression. It's why my primary emotions are empty void and the repressed rage from a lifetime of being told to "get over it"
Men will literally menstruate 24/7 instead of going to therapy
Fake news we also have 40k lore
Dude. No need to call us out like that.
In America therapy costs a lot of money and you get no guarantee you'll see someone competent.
Very true and I speak from experience. Still worth it to try, if you need help. I did eventually find one that helped me a lot.
So is the answer to give up or keep trying?
The answer is to fight for a healthcare system that covers all health (including mental) instead of trying to be the most effective funnel of money from the poor into the coffers of the rich.
Sadly, the people who are most lacking in mental health support are largely the ones who actively fight against such a structure (because propaganda works).
Tell me how we do that exactly? Just keep voting and hope that some kind of policy goes through and hopefully before you finally blow your brains out?
You seem to think that box #2 is the last hope. I'm not ready to give up on that one yet. But if things get so bad that the ballot box truly doesn't matter any more, we still have two more to defend liberty with. I hope we never again need the fourth box.
Throwing your hands in the air and saying "it's too rigged, there's no hope" is exactly what the opps want.
I am not giving up. But just shrugging and say 'go see a therapist' is useless.
A lot of people really don't get it.
Therapists cost around $100hr where I'm at. It's the height of privilege and tone deafness to just toss out "get therapy" at every depressed fucker out there. The same people screaming for empathy seem to lack their own.
yes, because I will be extra sad if I cant afford rent.
Men will literally
menstruatefap 24/7 instead of going to therapyIf anyone is mentruating 24/7, I would suggest the hospital.
ftfy lol
OK, why do you think they need to masturbate 24/7 in the first place?
I mean…. have you tried it?
It’s pretty great!
You're not doing anything by saying "go to therapy." If you really cared, pay for someone's therapy.
Misogynistic drivel.
Shut the fuck up and listen. If someone says they're suffering you pay attention to their problems not make it a contest.
You do undermine your own point a bit by trivializing men's suffering in the same breath as demanding nobody trivialize suffering.
The comic is bullshit for sure but you did exactly the same thing it did.
He ignored her suffering and diminished it saying that for 5 days a month she feels what he deals with every day. He's ignoring her point and one-upping her. That's toxic behaviour that doesn't help anything.
That he is also suffering is a separate conversation that also needs to take place but that's a different conversation. The first step is resolving conflict is by listening to the other person's point of view, not dismissing it as less important.
They're both being toxic in the comic, so trying to play it as if either is more correct is being disingenuous and is a massive source of the confusion in this discussion.
… it is that “toxic” mental health that the author is trying to emphasize needs to be met.
both issues are valid. but shorthair‘s mental health problem is what's being highlighted.
It's precisely shorthair’s dismissal that needs to be intervened.
there maybe some underlying ASPD that needs to be resolved.
Cool opinion.
There is no real life situation where the proper response to a person crying in your presence who claims they have it bad is "I have it worse"
A rich teenager crying about how they're not getting the brand new car they wanted for their sweet 16.
ah okay you got me, but that does not at all make this comic not mysogynistic. There is none of that context here. I dont care about this dudes opinion
Also OP is a new account with only posts and no comments. Lots of red flags.
Did you consider that the comic is making fun of misogynists?
I had not considered that, so thanks for pointing that out. Upon checking the comic more closely, I don't get any hint that it's making fun of misogynists, but it's certainly possible.
If so, it's shockingly ineptly done though
Then explain OP's title.
It's a meme.
I refuse to believe we're living in a world where meme literally got Trump elected and people are still acting like "just a meme" is a thing. Jokes don't exist in a vacuum, meaning is inherently tied to humor and can be read from it.
Longhair: explains problem they insist short-haired can't understand
Short hair: explains he does and why, revealing deep emotional damage underneath
You: MY SOGGY KNEEEEES!
I think the issue here is that shorthair cannot know for sure what longhair is experiencing, exactly. Shorthair has experienced something that they would describe in the same way, but neither can know with certainty what the other experiences.
It is perfectly understandable to relate to others in pain by sharing your own pain with them, but it can come across as a bit dismissive sometimes, I think that's the root of the discourse here.
Unless they are a man, of course, then they should just get a therapist.
She wasn't merely saying, "I'm suffering". The comic starts with, "you don't understand". It starts with her dismissing the comiseration attempt.
This highroad is cute and all, but it's grossly ignorant to reality or the fact that there are no heroes in this comic: It is not one side being dismissed. It is both sides failing to communicate. They are both talking past each other.
Conversely, empath the fuck up and don’t push your problems on someone who also has them. Both struggles, as minor as they could be, are valid.
Why would we listen, you just did the opposite. No empathy for those who don't show any.
What the person you replied to is correct regardless of the genders involved. When someone brings up a problem to you, it's a rude thing to immediately respond in ways that make it about you and your own pain. There's a line between sharing your own experiences to establish understanding and empathy and making it the pain Olympics.
Especially in this comic, the man couldn't possibly understand how it feels to have the unfortunate symptoms that come from having periods, and he instantly equates putting up with his partner during their period as equivalent. It's eye rolling on multiple levels.
He never made it about him. You made it about him. Where did he equate it to putting up with her? He didn't, you did. He only explained how he could in fact understand her pain. You are saying he can never express his pain, he can only agree with her, pure bigotry
I never said he couldn't express his pain. I said, regardless of genders, this way of expressing it is simply rude and not a good way to communicate in any kind of relationship. When someone brings up something that is bothering them, and your immediate response is "yeah, but me", you're being a jerk. Since this seems to be escaping you, this doesn't mean the other person isn't allowed to talk about their feelings. They simply need to be an adult and do it at a more appropriate time or in a more appropriate way. Conversations like this aren't a battle to be won, they are a tool used to solve a problem or simply vent frustration.
You seem to be looking at this in a very black and white way. Therapy can help with that. It's not a fun way to go through life.
Oh my, I think you need to talk to someone. If I suggest therapy, should I die twice?
Heheh, I've been checking out your comment history and you're on quite the crusade! I don't know if I agree with everything you say, but I can get behind the determined fury. I can be like that too, and I'm not gonna downvote anyone else for doing the same, because this place does get a bit kumbaya and dissent-averse at times, and I think it's fair to call shit out.
That's all.
Seems like you dragged in a load of baggage/assumptions: I just see a dark, dramatic turn of characterization without generalities.
So you're just ignoring the part where the woman says that the man doesn't understand? That's the whole reason why he says how he feels. He's not just saying that to undermine her struggle. He's explaining why he thinks he understands her better than she thinks.
It's about depression you git. Does he have "all men" tattooed on his fucking forehead? It's one dude. You sound extremely hypocritical
This is how I interpreted it as well. He understands because depression makes him feel that way all the time.
I feel like if this was a specific character going "wait that's not normal lol" the joke would land better. But as it is the only frame of reference we have is one representing women and one representing men.
And it just all falls flat because women can have mental illnesses too? And yes men are forced to repress it more often but women often have their physical or mental health dismissed or ignored so it's not much better either way.
I'm trans so I'll never face a period but I can't imagine the agony of going through one in addition to a mental health crisis or other sickness. And it's not like women get "period days off" of work or school so you're just expected to push through it.
I’m grateful you will never have to deal with it, it makes me a little jealous. If you ever want to imagine what bad cramps feel like, imagine a power drill plunged into your belly, whirring at full speed. 😭
I've noticed that I cannot see images hosted on lemmy.zip unless I visit it manually, what could be causing this?
Yeah, but I enabled cookies for lemmy.zip then solved the captcha and images from there still don't show up.
That won't help if your browser is set up to not allow websites to access third-party cookies.
I have a similar problem but different instances or file types and I also don’t understand.
some block my vpn, others don't block it outright but i have to solve a captcha first via cloudflare
Huh, I didn't know about this. I have no clue what could be the issue, although the captcha theory sounds reasonable. I'm sure the lemmy.zip admins would appreciate it if you let them know about this issue (unless they already do know about it (: )
Now all together: Feeling bad and being sad are things you do not compete at
One man's trash
Not a rule, just your opinion.
*tips fedora*
Man can't even explain why he understands her pain without shitheads like you mocking them. He never said her pain was lesser, he was explaining his own pain, grow some empathy
Edit:actually I'm not fucking done. This is why men suffer in silence, this is why we avoid therapy our problems are mocked, emotional trauma and mental illness are character flaws instead of something to be treated when men have them
He says that he feels like this all the time, while she only feels like that five days a month. Sure, he is not saying that her pain is lesser, but he is saying that he is suffering more. And that is what (most) people here mock. That this comic suggests that men suffer more than women. That responding to someone explaining their pain with "actually, I suffer like that all the time" is childish behavior. This isn't about men sharing their pain, it's about the one-upping what she is saying.
You wouldn't say this if it were reversed and you know it, this entire thread is a screaming example of the empathy gap towards men
You're not going to salvage this one. Neither of the characters are being good, and we both know the guy is assumed to be the bigger asshole in this comic. Regardless of what realities exist, most people are going to read what is presented as misogynistic.
The truth is, they're both failing to communicate, so anyone using this as a sexist cudgel is only revealing their own bias. Because, again, they both suck in this comic. There are no heroes here, so anyone claiming otherwise is... ignorant at best.
Silence helps no one.
the last panel should say "I also suffer in similar ways, let's share how we cope" instead of saying "You suffer less than me"
Gotcha men have to spin their pain to be acceptable to society, this sounds familiar.....
No, all humans should sympathize and empathize instead of measure and compare when it comes to suffering.
You interpret it as a man vs woman thing because you consume mysogynistic ideology, willingly or not
Do you have kids? One you get along with toddlers and their mothers as an adult man you should have the tools necessary to break free from that stuff. Good luck.
There is a productive way to talk about your pain and going "I suffer more than you" is not it. No matter the gender.
This thread makes it very clear society thinks its OK for women to do it.
Man, I get it. You see how man are treated with less empathy, their pain diminished, their emotions denied and then faulted for being angry all the time, the only emotion that seems to be acceptable as a man. But you're going to hard in the other direction. It's not just black and white. Just because a man is talking about his pain doesn't mean he can't be a dick about it. And that is what this comic demonstrates. If you're honest to yourself I'm sure you can see that too. If not, you know, sorry to hear. Not much I can do to change your mind.
It's an unfunny edgelord comic. I get the point, it's just not funny.
Just like man/bear, the difference is this one can be interpreted as pro-men in its sentiment which tends to shake the tree, making examples of the Empathy Gap fall out
If you're a piece of shit, it reads the way you read it. You probably don't wonder why that is.
I'm sorry you lack basic human empathy, I hope you get the help you need.
keep on telling women their problems are not as bad as yours man. I'm sure you'll find the love of your life real soon
Bro what, at least use words.
I did use words bigot
No u
Woman: I am experiencing pain.
Power: Bah, you're just complaining because you're a woman.
Man: I too am experiencing pain.
Power: Bah, you're just complaining because you're a woman.
Transwoman: I too am experiencing pain. Hunh... Maybe I am a woman.
Power: Nope, you're just complaining because you're a wom-, uh... man...? Er, wait... how do we patronize you? What the...?
Transman: I also --
Power: Stop! Just... Stop thinking and feed the machine that makes us powerful, damn it! Fuck's sake, this was so much simpler when we could just claim divine right.
Yeah no that has nothing to do with the comic
The comic is seemingly intentionally ambiguous as an attempt to provoke consideration.
Definitely filters sexists out that's for sure
It might be said that it puts flags in the wind, regardless of the color they show.
Why are you all bitching women aren't even real
Just like birds
That's why the brits call them that.
If I roll 80 times on the latest gacha, I can pretend they’re real, and then they’ll immediately beg for my self-insert character to date them.
what
Lemmy: MISOGYNY!
Meanwhile, me, a dumdum: Damn the author has experienced critically low self-esteem...or the joke is as fun as a rock in the field.
Like, either it's self-depreciating/edgy humor or it's not humor at all lol.
I immediately understood it to be a description of severe depression. If a neurotypical person suddenly experiences a low from a period similar to a depressed person's average day, why is it suddenly misogyny?
Because the depressed person is a man, there are many people who still treat mental illness and emotional trauma as character flaws, but only when men have them, otherwise it's all about listening and believing. Tl;dr: sexism against men is far more rampant and casually accepted than people think
The patriarchy hurts both sides
I'd be more willing to listen if y'all didnt insist on naming your ideological evil after men then wondering why so many are skeptical everything you say, it demonizes half the population.
Patriarchy? It's not named after men, it's named for "patriarch" - it means "rule of the father". It is very present in many typical households, where a male father figure makes and enforces the rules of the household. This serves as something of a microcosm of society at large.
I think you are seeing this as some sort of "battle of the sexes", like women vs. men kind of a situation - that's not what it's about, it just has been a historical fact, in most societies, going all the way back to the concept of dowry payments that a "father of the house" makes the decisions, up to and including decisions for women and girls, such as who they will marry, and so on, but in return this means that men have to perform a specific role and have a lot of pressures and expectations placed upon them, which can lead to very harmful effects on men too.
Feminism is fighting for men and women against a harmful ideology that primarily benefits the men of the ruling class.
"It's not named after men" "rule of the father" what gender is a father typically? I don't see it as a battle of the sexes, it's a battle for basic human empathy
Could you explain a little more what you mean? I thought my comment explained pretty thoroughly why patriarchy is named as such, can you explain why you object to it, and where you feel that lack of empathy?
Yuck. Lemmy has a misogynistic streak and this bullshit doesn't help. The account is less than a day old and I'm wondering if I should block it now or wait and see what else they post...
Edit: there's no joke here. He's saying that men experience an amount of stress equivalent to menstruation on a daily basis. And that is staggeringly pathetic. Women deal with this pain and discomfort one week a month and still manage to live fulfilling lives. Men don't have that the added physical burden and still can't achieve emotional regulation and fulfillment?
Who's the weaker sex again?
you're right, I haven't experienced menstruation. however, your comment makes me feel like shit and makes me irritable.
This comic is very obvious rage bait that is not designed to be taken seriously and you're taking it seriously. You're taking the bait.
I figured that out after my initial anger subsided. It worked on me, clearly.
Explain your attribution of misogyny. Seems weak.
Is "he"? Seems you're overgeneralizing.
He's not saying anything about men generally, YOU are.
The man in this comic is talking about himself, not men. Do you think it's not possible for a man to feel the level of stress a woman feels from her period, as his baseline due to mental health issues? If I'm a severely distressed or depressed man, there's not a world where my daily average is on par or worse than a woman on her period?
Can you put your own lived experience on any higher of a pedestal over others?
lol
Anyone defending this "comic" looks like a lunatic. I can't take anything you say seriously.
If thinking men can have mental health issues on par with menstrual stress makes me a lunatic, then I guess that I am a lunatic sweetie 🤘🥰
I find it interesting that your position is that mens lives are free from repeated stresses. Yes women have menstruation but you seem to be implying that that is the only reason for someone to be emotionally unregulated. Maybe men are just literally emotionally unstable by default. If there is a genetic predisposition for emotional dysfunction are men still evil for not being able to control their emotions? Do we know everything there is to know about the human mind or physiology? Because I don't believe we do. It is certainly interesting that there is such a mountain of evidence that men cannot control their emotions in the same manner as women but the response is always and only "suck it up" and "it's societies fault" and never "perhaps there is a deeper reason."
Additionally and more on topic, the comics talking about one dude personal experience. Why have you generalized it into being descriptive of all men. Sounds like misandry.
You are the weaker sex if you've twisted SEVERE LIFE ALTERING DEPRESSION as competition, grow some empathy you sexist trash
this is fuckin dumb
Idk i may be only 14 but im thinkin it's pretty deep
Basically the bear/man post
I see more people speaking out against the comic than for. Just a lot of the same people repeating the for side.
Maybe because the comic itself is satisfying enough to not require further comment.
Eh even if you want to bring your own emotional problems into a discussion like this, probably a better way is to go along the lines of "I understand how you feel, I often feel that way too. I find [this method] to be very helpful when dealing with it." bla bla, rather than turning it into a piss contest (or contunuing it if it started off like that).
Also I feel like this comic tries to speak in place of all men. I might be wrong but if indeed so, I don't feel like that all the time. Sure I do feel like that sometimes but definitely not even every month. I got my other problems, I am not problem free, but this is not it. So if this man feels like that all the time, he should probably try to have an open hearted discussion about it with someone who can understand rather than get angry about it. And if the other person makes fun of him for that, maybe he should consider his ties with that person because there are definitely people who are more understanding.
I can't guarantee it, but I'd guess the girl is talking about their period. I don't think that him giving advice is helpful in this context and from your comment it seems like maybe that wasn't how you understood the comic. Just adding that because it seems like your comment has a good intent but might not relate to how some people interpret the comic.
Yea I also thought of the woman talking about her period. Obviously it is impossible for the man to feel sympathy to all aspects of physical and emotional discomfort felt during a period but I was focusing mostly on the psychological aspects in isolation from all the other aspects.
People yelling misogyny are not comprehending shorthair’s unresolved mental health crisis. JimBenton is exemplifying someone who has the bloodlust, depression and self-disgust and needs a therapist to help tackle the issue.
It's legitimately amazing women can endure a flaw in our biology and have emotional endurance NOT to kill, feel disgust, and depression ALL the time. But most other mammals do not have periods. We fucked up our evolution along the way.
Hopefully we can fix those genetic errors next CRISPR research. In the meantime, if you find people like shorthair, intervene, and recommend them a good psychiatrist.
::: spoiler Post needs accessibility. Images of text break much that text alternatives do not. Losses due to image of text lacking alternative:
Contrary to age & humble appearance, text is an advanced technology that provides all these capabilities absent from images. ::: This comic sure rustled an awful lot of jimmies.
Why do you keep responding with "needs accessibility"? What, precisely, is the remedy you're requesting on these comics? Transcripts?
There are a number of possible remedies, so I don't specify. All that matters is the result: web accessibility. Doesn't matter how text alternative is provided whether by
or any other possibility as long as it achieves accessibility.
In general, it depends on the situation. Screenshot of social media text content: link to the source or its archival snapshot. Image of pure text: don't post that, post text instead.
Thanks for the detail.
Probably that, I know on Mastodon people add a caption to pretty much every picture for screen readers, searching, etc.
It's pretty convenient IME and doesn't take much time. If that's what they're asking it's a decent idea but they need to be clear.
Agreed.
So... Why is this one getting reposted?
I love the comments demonstrating exactly how men's mental health issues are marginalised, ignored and treated with contempt.
BTW, international men's day is November 19th, and no one gives a shit.
I give a shit. Stop saying no one gives a shit, it's not true. The media powers put those words together, stop repeating the lie they sell you.
Give a shit
Having once been a part of reddits /menslib. I can safely say that if that is the best we can do then its hopeless.
Menslib is a cesspit, pure controlled opposition.
The best you can do is give a shit.
Say it louder than the naysayers.
I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR COMMUNITIES
CHECK IN WITH YOUR FELLOW DUDES
BE HONEST AND VULNERABLE EVEN WHEN IT FEELS LIKE YOU SHOULDN'T
BE THE LIGHT WHEN THERE IS ONLY DARKENSS FOR BOTH YOURSELF AND OTHERS
BE RADICAL, BE THE CHANGE, GIVE EXTRA FUCKS, FOR NOT ALL HAVE FUCKS TO GIVE!
I do. But I feel like I have to work against both sides on this issue.
Did you see any posts on international men's day on Lemmy? Because I didn't, and I also forgot. No one fucking cares. The only time it gets bought up is on 8 march because of douchebags. And doesn't even get mentioned on the fucking day it happens , even by people who know about it, because we also forget
Lots of arguing here who has it worse. Hard to get objective comparisons.
I suppose asking post-op trans people might be the best way to come closest to objective information on the subject. Wonder if the data from transfemmes and transmascs would be significantly different.
Depression from being forced to grow up the opposite gender entirely removes my objectivity on this topic. Cis men don't experience that same feeling so I can't comment on what they feel.
I can say I personally feel a lot better as a woman though.
Also, cis women can stop their periods. My roommate has a thing injected in their arm for birth control that also fully stops their periods for (iirc) ~5 years.Also I saw online that if you skip a dose of pill birth control before your period you can also skip the period, but I don't have a uterus so I can't confirm if that's true lol
edit: This topic is a lot more complicated than I thought it was. I apologize.
Saying cis women can just stop their periods if they feel like it is a vast over simplification. Birth control fucks with your hormones often in very unpredictable ways. My friend had a light period for like 3 months straight due to her birth control and the doctors said that was fine and normal. In me, birth control triggered treatment resistant suicidal depression that I deal with to this day. In my sister, it gave wild mood swings and general emotional instability. My other sister was just plain allergic to it.
It's dangerous for women to go on hormonal birth control even though it's so common and normalized. Women's Healthcare in the USA is so hit or miss, and doctors are often uninformed or dismissive. Maybe you live elsewhere where it's better?
Please understand that periods are absolutely not optional. Even a complete hysterectomy (not that many of us could be granted one anyway) would trigger early menopause which is its own host of issues.
I had no idea it was so different for different people. I did not mean to downplay your issues at all, I apologize
Yeah birth control is a real crapshoot sometimes, my sister got the arm thing and it sent her into menopause at 35 so it had to be removed
Menopause or perimenopause? Menopause is just the day that a woman hasn't had a period for 365 days. After that day, they're post menopause. Leading up to menopause is called perimenopause and it can last up to 10 years and start for some women in their late 30s. I hope I'm not coming off as rude, I just like to try and educate people about this sort of thing because for much too long women have not openly talked about perimenopause/menopause and us elder millennials and Gen xers currently going through it are no longer staying silent about it as our mothers and grandmother's did.
Damn thank you for sharing that. I can't believe how little we all know about menopause considering almost half of humanity will eventually go through it!
As far as I know, it's also barely taught in medical school. So doctor's aren't even that educated about it. Luckily there are more and more female doctors that are pushing for more education about perimenopause/menopause. If your interested, I highly recommend reading The Menopause Brain by Dr. Lisa Mosconi. She's a neurosurgeon who is currently researching the effects of menopause on the brain and also Alzheimer's. It's a very informative read. :-)
I appreciate your explanation! My mother and her generation never spoke of perimenopause, menopause, or even periods and their issues in general. I’m an elder millennial with a Gen X friend and we talk about it pretty often. My older colleagues have also started being open about their experiences, we pass info along to each other via email.
It’s so nice to see the information becoming more talked about, especially since I’m getting into the perimenopause phase of life.
Yes! I think it's great that it's getting talked about now more amongst women. The generations before us seemed more ashamed to talk about things women go through as we age. It's great that we're breaking down that barrier and that taboo that was assigned to aging.
I said what I was told by my sister you pretentious ass
I've noticed a trend (at least in online spaces I've been in) that trans women are much more present and vocal about their experiences than trans men. Do you have any observations on that topic? I wonder if trans women are simply more numerous, or perhaps trans men have more reasons to not be so vocal, e.g., ingrained shyness etc.
I know that on Lemmy specifically the number of trans women is significantly higher than the number of trans men, iirc Tumblr Pinterest and bluesky are places that trans men tend to be more dominant.
There is also a point that there's not much about men that women don't already know compared to the VAST amount of things that men don't know about women.
So when someone switches gender the transfems tend to have a lot more learning and will overshare their experiences to help prevent the struggle for the next transfems that come along.
though obviously that's not to downplay the issues that trans men experience, there's a lot of things that I thought were obvious that my transmasc friends had no idea about
I'm going to HARD disagree on women knowing more about men, I was raised surrounded by women, two sisters, single mother, three aunts, all cousins but one are women in my generation too, and they had no idea what to do with us, plenty of women still think an erection means consent for God's sake
Cis man, lifelong treatment resistant depression here, I might not understand disphoria, but I sure as shit know depression. It's why my primary emotions are empty void and the repressed rage from a lifetime of being told to "get over it"
Yeah, yeah. What do you think the origin of the word menstruation is?
It's men + frustration.
booo
Agreed