Spyke
piefed.social

Oh come on, this has to be satire.

If tech bros really have become this robotic, then, as Robin William's Good Morning Vietnam script read:

“You are in more dire need of a blowjob than any white man in history.”

156
kautaureply
lemmy.world

Lol yes, another post of his from 2 years ago

116
lemmy.world

with the same razor

"we're blood brothers here. We share bloodborn diseases between each other this way. Hepatitis A is for Alphas." /s

110
alaphicreply
lemmy.world

Well, at least they figured out a solution to the whole "crabs" problem they had going on, clearly

4

if you think this is crazy, you've never heard of Occam's Razor

I know what Occam's Razor is, but considering the context here does this dude think it's just a good brand for head shaving? 🤨

47

That's the line that cements this as satire to me, because by applying Occam's razor here I think the simplest solution is that it's a joke.

37

Yeah dude weren't you paying attention? This is their shared razor. They call it Occam's razor because Bill Occam bought it at the pharmacy on his way to the office last Tuesday.

20

Weirdly I always see Occam going into the bathroom with a full head of hair, and leave with just as much...

5

🤣

I hate to think how much time this guy is losing by sleeping every night, there's at least a couple hours in employee leverage he's losing

8

What a looser! If they would shave each others head during a meeting this would be much more productive. But the big question is: who hired all the hairy people in the first place?

23

Haha, what a stupid loser, wasting time shaving his head when he could just be letting his hair grow long and not wash it.

8

Yeah, this one clearly reads as satire. The fact that people think it's not is wild to me.

8
lemmy.world

Why are these guys wearing clothes? It gets in the way of bodly functions. Have to spend 2 seconds to unzip your pants? Time wasted.

Everyone nude in the office from now on...

8

I'm with 'em, but for "my boss makes a dollar, I make a dime" reasons.

If I can get away with doing something on the clock instead of at home, I will.

6

Guarantee this guy isn't shaving his head for "efficiency", he's just severely balding and wants to pretend that he's not.

4

As opposed.to shaving your head at home, which means not wasting time doing it at the office? This has to be satire.

4
lemmy.world

Have we considered the efficiency dividends of like, not shaving heads?

Or is it more of a conformity thing, like in fight club?

4

They say it saves time compared to washing your hair, right? Oh, you mean like not shaving and not washing. Probably shouldn't even shower either to save even more time. That's brilliant. brb gonna fire up LinkedIn and make a post.

1
shalafireply
lemmy.world

How does someone so socially clueless navigate the real world? Must be challenging, I salute you!

3

What the hell is wrong with these so-called founders? Shave your pubic hair at home, the world is not going to collapse if you have some free time for yourself.

2

You reached the end