"WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON'T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON’T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE’S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY.
THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20-KILO FERROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT. EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE TO 1.3 PERCENT OF LIGHT SPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE OF A 38-KILOTOMB BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH.THAT MEANS SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE.
WHETHER WE WANTED IT OR NOT, WE'VE STEPPED INTO A WAR WITH THE CABAL ON MARS. SO LET'S GET TO TAKING OUT THEIR COMMAND, ONE BY ONE. VALUS TA'AURC. FROM WHAT I CAN GATHER HE COMMANDS THE SIEGE DANCERS FROM AN IMPERIAL LAND TANK OUTSIDE OF RUBICON. HE'S WELL PROTECTED, BUT WITH THE RIGHT TEAM, WE CAN PUNCH THROUGH THOSE DEFENSES, TAKE THIS BEAST OUT, AND BREAK THEIR GRIP ON FREEHOLD.
"LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY."
LISTEN, STRANGE WOMEN LYING IN PONDS DISTRIBUTING SWORDS IS NO BASIS FOR A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT ... YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO WIELD SUPREME POWER JUST 'CAUSE SOME WATERY TART THREW A SWORD AT YOU!
or
YOU CAN'T GO AROUND ARRESTING THE THIEVES' GUILD. I MEAN, WE'D BE AT IT ALL DAY!
WE ARE ALL PAWNS, CONTROLLED BY SOMETHING GREATER: MEMES, THE DNA OF THE SOUL. THEY SHAPE OUR WILL. THEY ARE THE CULTURE. THEY ARE EVERYTHING WE PASS ON.
THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20 KILO FEROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT! EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE, TO ONE-POINT-THREE PERCENT OF LIGHTSPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE A 38 KILOTON BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH. THAT MEANS, SIR ISACC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE! NOW! SERVICEMAN BURNSIDE, WHAT IS NEWTON'S FIRST LAW?
SIR! AN OBJECT IN MOTION STAYS IN MOTION, SIR!
NO CREDIT FOR PARTIAL ANSWERS MAGGOT!
SIR! UNLESS ACTED ON BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, SIR!
DAMN STRAIGHT! I DARE TO ASSUME YOU IGNORANT JACKASSES KNOW THAT SPACE IS EMPTY. ONCE YOU FIRE THIS HUNK OF METAL, IT KEEPS GOING 'TIL IT HITS SOMETHING. THAT CAN BE A SHIP, OR THE PLANET BEHIND THAT SHIP. IT MIGHT GO OFF INTO DEEP SPACE AND HIT SOMEBODY ELSE IN 10,000 YEARS! IF YOU PULL THE TRIGGER ON THIS, YOU ARE RUINING SOMEONES DAY! SOMEWHERE AND SOMETIME! THAT IS WHY YOU CHECK YOUR DAMN TARGETS! THAT IS WHY YOU WAIT 'TIL THE COMPUTER GIVES YOU A DAMN FIRING SOLUTION. THAT IS WHY, SERVICEMAN CHUNG, WE DO NOT 'EYEBALL IT'. THIS IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION! YOU ARE NOT A COWBOY, SHOOTING FROM THE HIP!
DEFINITION: 'LOVE' IS MAKING A SHOT TO THE KNEES OF A TARGET 120 KILOMETERS AWAY USING AN ARATECH SNIPER RIFLE WITH A TRI-LIGHT SCOPE. LOVE IS KNOWING YOUR TARGET, PUTTING THEM IN YOUR TARGETING RETICULE, AND TOGETHER, ACHIEVING A SINGULAR PURPOSE AGAINST STATISTICALLY LONG ODDS.
AAH, KOS, OR SOME SAY KOSM... DO YOU HEAR OUR PRAYERS? AS YOU ONCE DID FOR THE VACUOUS ROM, GRANT US EYES, GRANT US EYES! PLANT EYES ON OUR BRAINS TO CLEANSE OUR BEASTLY IDIOCY!
WE ARE SO CLOSE TO OUR DESTINATION, WE ARE SO CLOSE! LIKE, LITERALLY, RIGHT THERE! AND THEN YOU JUST DECIDE, LIKE A SADISTIC PERSON, TO TURN INTO THE FOG AND KILL US! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE A SADIST! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM! THAT'S IT! CALL MY AGENT! I WANT MY AGENT!
WHAT'S IT WITH YOU NOBLES!? WE'RE NOT YOUR LIVESTOCK FOR YOU TO FOOL
WITH! WE ARE PEOPLE, NO LESS THAN YOU ARE! WHAT MATTERS OUR BIRTH!? HAVE
YOU EVER BEEN HUNGRY? HAVE YOU EVER LIVED FOR MONTHS ON NAUGHT BUT BEAN
SOUP? WE STARVE BECAUSE OF THE GREED OF YOU NOBLES! YOU STEAL AWAY EVEN OUR
RIGHT TO EXIST!
I AM GRAHF, THE SEEKER OF POWER. DOTH THOU DESIRE THE POWER?
MY FIST IS THE DIVINE BREATH! BLOSSOM, O FALLEN SEED, AND DRAW UPON THY HIDDEN POWERS! GRANT UNTO THEE THE POWER OF THE GLORIOUS MOTHER OF DESTRUCTION!
"WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON'T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE?! DEMAND TO SEE LIFE'S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?! I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I'M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!"
HOW ARE YOU HOLDING UP? BECAUSE I'M A POTATO
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE, MAKE YOUR TIME
SOMEBODY SET US UP THE BOMB
MEDIC!
STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM! YOU VIOLATED THE LAW
edit: didn't mean to reply this, I violated the law
THEN PAY WITH YOUR BLOOD
THE CAKE IS A LIE!
CANNOT BELIEVE THIS ISNT ALREADY HERE, IM CRESTFALLEN!
THAT'S BECAUSE IT ISN'T A QUOTE, IT'S WALL ART
I'M COMMANDER SHEPARD, AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORE ON THE CITADEL.
I SHOULD GO.
WE'LL BANG, OK?
SNAKE. SNAKE? SNAAAAAAKE!
BADGER BADGER BADGER
MUSHROOM MUSHROOM
ROCK AND STONE!
DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE?
ROCK AND STONE IN THE HEART!
STONE
IT'S ME, YOU ARSEWIPE!
WE FIGHT FOR ROCK AND STONE!
FOR KARL!
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
And there it is.
NOTHING'S MORE BADASS THAN TREATING A WOMAN WITH RESPECT!!!!
Well, that one was already in all caps
MISTER TORGUE IS ALWAYS IN ALL CAPS. EXPLOSIONS!!!
I WANT YOU TO BLOW UP... THE OCEAN!!!
SHAWN!!!!
SHAWN!!!!
SHAWN!!!!
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Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
ROBERTTTTTTTT
I’M ESCAPING TO THE ONE PLACE THAT HASN’T BEEN CORRUPTED BY CAPITALISM... SPACE!
DO YOU GET TO THE CLOUD DISTRICT VERY OFTEN?? OH, WHAT AM I SAYING, OF COURSE YOU DON'T!!
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT THERE'S NO PUSSIEEEE
Here is an alternative Piped link(s): https://piped.video/watch?v=Npr7RMQs_rQ&
Piped is a privacy-respecting open-source alternative frontend to YouTube.
I'm open-source, check me out at GitHub.
Bad bot, there's no start time on that link.
YOU EUTHANIZED YOUR FAITHFUL COMPANION CUBE FASTER THAN ANY TEST SUBJECT ON RECORD. CONGRATULATIONS.
LETS DO THIS! LEEEEROOOOOOOOOY JENKIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNSSS!!!!
I’LL RIP OFF YOUR HEAD AND SHIT DOWN YOUR NECK!
HAIL TO THE KING, BABY!
"HMMMMHHMMMM" FROM MINECRAFT VILLAGERS
DO A BARREL ROLL!!
YOU NEED TO CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!
WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU LEMONS, DON’T MAKE LEMONADE. MAKE LIFE TAKE THE LEMONS BACK! GET MAD! I DON’T WANT YOUR DAMN LEMONS, WHAT THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THESE? DEMAND TO SEE LIFE’S MANAGER! MAKE LIFE RUE THE DAY IT THOUGHT IT COULD GIVE CAVE JOHNSON LEMONS! DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I’M THE MAN WHO’S GONNA BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN! WITH THE LEMONS! I’M GONNA GET MY ENGINEERS TO INVENT A COMBUSTIBLE LEMON THAT BURNS YOUR HOUSE DOWN!
WHAT GAME IS THIS FROM? THIS IS AN AMAZINGLY HILARIOUS QUOTE AND I WOULD LIKE TO PLAY THE GAME!
IT IS FROM THE PORTAL SERIES, I DO NOT REMEMBER IF IT IS FROM THE FIRST OR THE SECOND GAME
IT'S FROM THE SECOND ONE! FIRST ONE WAS GREAT, BUT THE SECOND ONE REALLY EXPANDED ON THE STORY!
I'VE ONLY PLAYED THE FIRST. I'VE BEEN MEANING TO PLAY THE SECOND.
WOLOLO
THE RIGHT MAN IN THE WRONG PLACE CAN MAKE ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD
WOULD YOU KINDLY
THEY SET US UP THE BOMB
WHAT YOU SAY?!
WE GET SIGNAL
WHAT IS A MAN? A MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK - HAVE AT YOU!
RIP AND TEAR UNTIL IT IS DONE
FINISH HIM!
WELL, THIS IS THE PART WHERE HE KILLS US.
...
HELLO! THIS IS THE PART WHERE I KILL YOU!
I'M TORGUE, AND I AM HERE TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION, AND ONE QUESTION ONLY: EXPLOSIONS!?
I'M HERE TO KICK ASS AND CHEW BUBBLEGUM, AND I'M ALL OUTTA GUM!
OUR WORDS ARE BACKED BY NUCLEAR WEAPONS
LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY.
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS
SIGH, BAPANADA.
FRAMESHIFT DRIVE CHARGING
THAT SENTENCE HAD TO MANY SYLLABLES, APOLOGIZE!
TURIANS BASED ON DEXTRO-AMINO ACIDS. HUMAN INGESTION OF TISSUE COULD PROVOKE ALLERGIC REACTIONS. ANAPHYLACTIC SHOCK POSSIBLE. SO DON'T, AH, INGEST.
THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20-KILO FERROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT. EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE TO 1.3 PERCENT OF LIGHT SPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE OF A 38-KILOTOMB BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH.THAT MEANS SIR ISAAC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE.
ZUG ZUG
LOOK, WE'VE BOTH SAID THINGS THAT YOU'RE GOING TO REGRET.
I CAN'T BELIEVE WE FUCKED.
HAIL TO THE KING BABY!
Duke Nukem or Handsome Jack?
PROBABLY DUKE NUKEM. HE WAS HERE FIRST.
Ash Williams
I AM SWORN TO CARRY YOUR BURDENS
"UNITS RECEIVED"
NO FREE SLOTS IN SUIT INVENTORY
MOLLY!
"THIS CAVE IS NOT A NATURAL FORMATION"
SOMEONE BUILT THIS, SO IT MUST LEAD SOMEWHERE
WAKE UP MR.GORDON!!!!!!
RISE AND SHINE
WAKE UP AND SMELL THE ASHES...
28 STAB WOUNDS
THE RIGHT MAN IN THE WRONG PLACE MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE IN THE WORLD
WHETHER WE WANTED IT OR NOT, WE'VE STEPPED INTO A WAR WITH THE CABAL ON MARS. SO LET'S GET TO TAKING OUT THEIR COMMAND, ONE BY ONE. VALUS TA'AURC. FROM WHAT I CAN GATHER HE COMMANDS THE SIEGE DANCERS FROM AN IMPERIAL LAND TANK OUTSIDE OF RUBICON. HE'S WELL PROTECTED, BUT WITH THE RIGHT TEAM, WE CAN PUNCH THROUGH THOSE DEFENSES, TAKE THIS BEAST OUT, AND BREAK THEIR GRIP ON FREEHOLD.
GET YOUR ROCK OFF MY MAP
"LOOK AT THEM, THEY COME TO THIS PLACE WHEN THEY KNOW THEY ARE NOT PURE. TENNO USE THE KEYS, BUT THEY ARE MERE TRESPASSERS. ONLY I, VOR, KNOW THE TRUE POWER OF THE VOID. I WAS CUT IN HALF, DESTROYED, BUT THROUGH IT'S JANUS KEY, THE VOID CALLED TO ME. IT BROUGHT ME HERE AND HERE I WAS REBORN. WE CANNOT BLAME THESE CREATURES, THEY ARE BEING LED BY A FALSE PROPHET, AN IMPOSTOR WHO KNOWS NOT THE SECRETS OF THE VOID. BEHOLD THE TENNO, COME TO SCAVENGE AND DESECRATE THIS SACRED REALM. MY BROTHERS, DID I NOT TELL OF THIS DAY? DID I NOT PROPHESIZE THIS MOMENT? NOW, I WILL STOP THEM. NOW I AM CHANGED, REBORN THROUGH THE ENERGY OF THE JANUS KEY. FOREVER BOUND TO THE VOID. LET IT BE KNOWN, IF THE TENNO WANT TRUE SALVATION, THEY WILL LAY DOWN THEIR ARMS, AND WAIT FOR THE BAPTISM OF MY JANUS KEY. IT IS TIME. I WILL TEACH THESE TRESPASSERS THE REDEMPTIVE POWER OF MY JANUS KEY. THEY WILL LEARN IT'S SIMPLE TRUTH. THE TENNO ARE LOST, AND THEY WILL RESIST. BUT I, VOR, WILL CLEANSE THIS PLACE OF THEIR IMPURITY."
I WAS EXPECTING THIS.
WAKE UP MR FREEMAN
WAR, WAR NEVER CHANGES.
YOU MUST GATHER YOUR PARTY BEFORE VENTURING FORTH!
GO FOR THE EYES BOO, FOR THE EYES!
PROTOCOL 3: PROTECT THE PILOT
I LIKE SHORTS. THEY'RE COMFY AND EASY TO WEAR.
A MAN CHOOSES, A SLAVE OBEYS
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE IMPERIAL CITY
WELCOME
TO THE ARENA
LISTEN, STRANGE WOMEN LYING IN PONDS DISTRIBUTING SWORDS IS NO BASIS FOR A SYSTEM OF GOVERNMENT ... YOU CAN'T EXPECT TO WIELD SUPREME POWER JUST 'CAUSE SOME WATERY TART THREW A SWORD AT YOU!
or
YOU CAN'T GO AROUND ARRESTING THE THIEVES' GUILD. I MEAN, WE'D BE AT IT ALL DAY!
Are these from a video game or Terry Pratchett's Night Watch books?
They're both in Civ VI, but the first is a Monty Python quote.
Though thank you for pointing out how much the first sounds like Sir Pterry
WE ARE ALL PAWNS, CONTROLLED BY SOMETHING GREATER: MEMES, THE DNA OF THE SOUL. THEY SHAPE OUR WILL. THEY ARE THE CULTURE. THEY ARE EVERYTHING WE PASS ON.
UNITS RECEIVED
WE'RE WATCHING YOU. SCUM.
HOW’S YOUR SISTER?
HUG? ANYONE?
...
NO HUGS.
RED WARRIOR IS NOW IT
GREEN VALKYRIE NEEDS FOOD BADLY
WHY ARE THESE FOOLS STILL BREATHING MY AIR?! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!!
POWER OVERWHELMING
EVERYTHING THAT LIVES IS DESIGNED TO END
WE ARE PREPETUALLY TRAPPED IN THIS NEVERENDING SPIRAL OF LIFE AND DEATH
IS THIS A CURSE? OR SOME KIND OF PUNISHMENT?
I OFTEN THINK ABOUT THE GOD WHO BLESSED US WITH THIS CRYPTIC PUZZLE
AND WONDER IF WE'LL EVER GET THE CHANCE TO KILL HIM
STAND IN THE ASHES OF A TRILLION SOULS AND ASK THE GHOSTS IF HONOUR MATTERS.
THEIR SILENCE IS YOUR ANSWER.
THIS, RECRUITS, IS A 20 KILO FEROUS SLUG. FEEL THE WEIGHT! EVERY FIVE SECONDS, THE MAIN GUN OF AN EVEREST-CLASS DREADNOUGHT ACCELERATES ONE, TO ONE-POINT-THREE PERCENT OF LIGHTSPEED. IT IMPACTS WITH THE FORCE A 38 KILOTON BOMB. THAT IS THREE TIMES THE YIELD OF THE CITY BUSTER DROPPED ON HIROSHIMA BACK ON EARTH. THAT MEANS, SIR ISACC NEWTON IS THE DEADLIEST SON-OF-A-BITCH IN SPACE! NOW! SERVICEMAN BURNSIDE, WHAT IS NEWTON'S FIRST LAW?
SIR! AN OBJECT IN MOTION STAYS IN MOTION, SIR!
NO CREDIT FOR PARTIAL ANSWERS MAGGOT!
SIR! UNLESS ACTED ON BY AN OUTSIDE FORCE, SIR!
DAMN STRAIGHT! I DARE TO ASSUME YOU IGNORANT JACKASSES KNOW THAT SPACE IS EMPTY. ONCE YOU FIRE THIS HUNK OF METAL, IT KEEPS GOING 'TIL IT HITS SOMETHING. THAT CAN BE A SHIP, OR THE PLANET BEHIND THAT SHIP. IT MIGHT GO OFF INTO DEEP SPACE AND HIT SOMEBODY ELSE IN 10,000 YEARS! IF YOU PULL THE TRIGGER ON THIS, YOU ARE RUINING SOMEONES DAY! SOMEWHERE AND SOMETIME! THAT IS WHY YOU CHECK YOUR DAMN TARGETS! THAT IS WHY YOU WAIT 'TIL THE COMPUTER GIVES YOU A DAMN FIRING SOLUTION. THAT IS WHY, SERVICEMAN CHUNG, WE DO NOT 'EYEBALL IT'. THIS IS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION! YOU ARE NOT A COWBOY, SHOOTING FROM THE HIP!
SIR, YES SIR!
WORK WORK
HYAAA
WHAT A SAVE!
LEON!
DOOR STUCK!
I BEG YOU!!!
“THAT’S THE SECOND BIGGEST MONKEY HEAD I’VE EVER SEEN!”
SCIENCE COMPELLS US TO EXPLODE THE SUN
♥️
I HOPE YOU WON'T MIND IF I THINK OF YOU AS A FRIEND
BibleThump
:::DOG GIGGLES::::
🦆
Yea boi
WORK, WORK, WORK
STOP POKING ME!
EXPLOSIONS‽
SHAZBOT!
NEED A DISPENSER HERE!
GUARDIANS MAKE THEIR OWN FATE
DO NOT DESTROY VITAL TESTING APPARATUS
I'M A MIGHTY PIRATE!
CATCH A RIDE!
STOP RIGHT THERE, CRIMINAL SCUM
ROCK AND STONE TO THE BONE!
MY NAMEEEEE IS GYOBU MASATAKA ONIWA!!!!!!
ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US
HYA! HUH! HA!
STRIKE THE EARTH!!
I HAVE NOT. COME THIS FAR.. TO DIE NOW!
MISSILE MISSILE! STALL WARNING! PULL UP!
DO A BARREL ROLL!
YOU SPOONY BARD!
GO FOR THE EYES BOO! GO FOR THE EYES! RAAAARGH
KAIRI'S INSIDE ME?
THE WORST OF TIMES ARE WHEN LAWYERS HAVE TO FORCE THEIR BIGGEST SMILES!!!
AAAH SHIT HERE WE GO AGAIN...
I AM HERE TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION AND ONE QUESTION ONLY: EXPLOSIONS?!?!?!?!?
DEFINITION: 'LOVE' IS MAKING A SHOT TO THE KNEES OF A TARGET 120 KILOMETERS AWAY USING AN ARATECH SNIPER RIFLE WITH A TRI-LIGHT SCOPE. LOVE IS KNOWING YOUR TARGET, PUTTING THEM IN YOUR TARGETING RETICULE, AND TOGETHER, ACHIEVING A SINGULAR PURPOSE AGAINST STATISTICALLY LONG ODDS.
WORMSIGN SPOTTED!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NO. "VAMP" ISN'T FOR "VAMPIRE", IT'S BECAUSE HE'S BISEXUAL.
WAKE ME, WHEN YOU NEED ME
I NEVER ASKED FOR THIS
VOODOO 1, VIPER'S ON STATION. YOUR JOURNEY ENDS HERE, PILOT. THE SKIES BELONG TO ME. NOWHERE TO RUN, NOWHERE TO HIDE.
UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS NO POINT IN LIVING. CRY, THAT THERE IS NO ANSWER!
YOUR HOME BED WAS MISSING OR OBSTRUCTED
THAT'S A NICE HEAD YOU HAVE ON YOUR SHOULDERS
AAH, KOS, OR SOME SAY KOSM... DO YOU HEAR OUR PRAYERS? AS YOU ONCE DID FOR THE VACUOUS ROM, GRANT US EYES, GRANT US EYES! PLANT EYES ON OUR BRAINS TO CLEANSE OUR BEASTLY IDIOCY!
MAJESTIC! A HUNTER IS A HUNTER EVEN IN A DREAM.
AWWWWOOOOOOO
CHEEEEESEEEE!!!! FOR EVERYONE!!!!
YOU ARE ALL WEAK, YOU ARE ALL BLEEDERS!
SILOS NEEDED
AAAH, NOT INTO THE FOG!
BOLEK, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND?
WE ARE SO CLOSE TO OUR DESTINATION, WE ARE SO CLOSE! LIKE, LITERALLY, RIGHT THERE! AND THEN YOU JUST DECIDE, LIKE A SADISTIC PERSON, TO TURN INTO THE FOG AND KILL US! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU ARE A SADIST! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS! I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM! THAT'S IT! CALL MY AGENT! I WANT MY AGENT!
YOU HEAR THAT NOAH? LANZ WANTS SOMETHING MEATIER!
DID I EVER TELL YOU WHAT THE DEFINITION OF INSANITY IS ?
TASTE COLD STEEL, FEEBLE CANNON RESTRAINT ROPE!
SHAKE IT BABY 💵💵🍑
THE RAINS HAVE CEASED AND WE ARE GRACED WITH ANOTHER BEAUTIFUL DAY. BUT YOU ARE NOT HERE TO SEE IT.
REMEMBER US! REMEMBER THAT WE ONCE LIVED!
KIROV REPORTING!!!!
YOU'VE GONE...YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME, YOU CAMEL-MANNERED, TUNIC-WETTING MOLLYCODDLE! AN ARROW IN THE THROAT OUGHT TO SHUT YOU UP!
EXPLOSIONS! 💥
"PLEASE ASSUME THE POSITION"
SO MUCH TO DO, SO LITTLE TIME.
TAKE YOIR TIME, DON'T BE AFRAID.
THE DOOR IS STILL SHUT.
GIVE ME A BUCKET, AND I'LL SHOW YOU A BUCKET
MAY CHAOS TAKE THE WORLD!
PICK UP THAT CAN. (all caps seems appropriate here)
COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LEAVE.
RAMIREZ! LAST MAG! MAKE IT COUNT!
SHAKE IT, BABY!
AND THE UNIVERSE SAID I LOVE YOU
I FEEL IT! I FEEL THE COSMOS
YOU ARE NOT PREPARED!
I GAZE INTO THE MIRROR. IN ITS REFLECTION, I SEE ONLY MY OWN MEANINGLESSNESS. AND SO I SCREAM.
SURRENDER TO THIS PEAR.
ARE YOU A BOY OR A GIRL?
I GOT A PRESENT FOR YA
YMMEL!?
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A BAD TIME
HOLY SHITBALLS BLESS THIS RAGGED BODY
THE UNIVERSE IS, AND WE ARE
Really changes the tone...
VIDEO GAMES CAN NEVER BE ART!!!!
WHAT'S IT WITH YOU NOBLES!? WE'RE NOT YOUR LIVESTOCK FOR YOU TO FOOL
WITH! WE ARE PEOPLE, NO LESS THAN YOU ARE! WHAT MATTERS OUR BIRTH!? HAVE
YOU EVER BEEN HUNGRY? HAVE YOU EVER LIVED FOR MONTHS ON NAUGHT BUT BEAN
SOUP? WE STARVE BECAUSE OF THE GREED OF YOU NOBLES! YOU STEAL AWAY EVEN OUR
RIGHT TO EXIST!
- SWEAR TO ME. SWEAR TO ME THAT EVERYTHING YOU SAID TO ME ABOUT THE FIREFLIES WAS TRUE.
- I SWEAR.
BYE BYE, DUDE!
SLOPPY!
WELL, OFF TO VISIT YOUR MOTHER!
PLEASE ASSUME THE POSITION.
ЧИКИ БРИКИ И В ДАМКИ
I HAVE A DATE WITH A CHEESE DELUXE 🍔
YOU CAN'T KILL ME
DEVOTION INSPIRES BRAVERY.
BRAVERY INSPIRES SACRIFICE.
SACRIFICE LEADS TO DEATH...
SO, FEEL FREE TO KILL YOURSELF.
DER KOMPASS IST NUN IM LAGERRAUM VERSTAUT
THE ALIENS CONTINUE TO MAKE PROGRESS ON THE AVATAR PROJECT
I'VE GIVEN THEE COURTESY ENOUGH
I’M JUST WAITING FOR MY SISTER
MORNING MR FREEMAN, LOOKS LIKE YOU ARE RUNNING LATE!
YOU FACE JARAXXUS, EREDAR LORD OF THE BURNING LEGION!
IF IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT AND SMELLS LIKE SHIT, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TASTE IT TO KNOW THAT IT'S SHIT
SUBJECT DID NOT SURVIVE INTERROGATION
(Homeworld 1. We're totally the good guys, right?)
THANK GOD FOR COLD FUSION!
FUCK YOU, MISSILE
10 YEARS IN THE SLAMMER MADE YOU A FUCKIN PUSSY ! - Yakuza 1
IT'S TIME TO GET WIERD
STRAP ONE ON, IT'S TIME TO JAM!
WHAT CAN CHANGE THE NATURE OF A MAN?
HOW I MINE FOR FISH?
THE NUMBERS MASON, WHAT DO THEY MEAN?
YOU'RE NOT WHAT I EXPECTED! YOU'VE EARNED MY TRUST!
DA MORE DA MONKEY CLIMB DA TREE DA MORE IT EXPOSES IT'S BATTYHOLE
MUCHA SHAKKA PAKKA!
YOUR HOPE ENDS HERE! AND YOUR MEANINGLESS EXISTENCE WITH IT!
PROSTAGMA
YOU ARE A DIRTY DIRTY SHISNO. HA HA HA.
THE BOXER AND THE MATADOR, WHAT ARE THEY GUARDING?
I'M A COFFEE ACHIEVER, SAM!
SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL THAT POWER?
YOU'RE SUCKED INTO THE HOLE IN A DIRECTION THAT ISN'T DOWN, BUT NEITHER IS IT ONE OF THE OTHER DIRECTIONS WITH WHICH YOU'RE FAMILIAR.
BE USEFUL TEAM!
IT'S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE! TAKE THIS.
NO! THIS IS SOMEWHERE TO BE. THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE, BUT IT'S STILL SOMETHING! STREETS AND SODIUM LIGHTS! THE SKY, THE WORLD! YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!
SUPERZAPPER RECHARGE
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THE ENGLISH ARE ANGRY THAT YOU DESTROYED THEIR OUTPOST. THEY'RE COMING TO ATTACK YOUR VILLAGE!
SMELLS LIKE A DOZEN EGGS DROPPED INA VAT O VINEGAR
IT'S-A ME, MARIO!
HELLO
YOU GOT MY EAR!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO PLAY A GAME OF CHICKEN KICKIN' SIR?
Fable? So familiar but can't put my finger on it, lol.
I'M COMMANDER SHEPPARD AND THIS IS MY FAVORITE STORE ON THE CITADEL.
THERE'S NO WAY YOU'RE TAKING KAIRI'S HEART
KAKATTE KOI!
(EVEN LOUDER GAMECUBE CONTROLLER NOISES)
I HAVE KILLED THE MONSTER, AND BECOME AN OUTLAW.
HAVE A BLAST LET'S.. BEGIN
SHIT FIRE AND FUCK ME RUNNING!
BEG THAT I SUCCEED. FOR I HAVE SEEN THE THONE OF THE GODS AND IT WAS EMPTY.
THAT WAS LEFT HANDED!
WHO WANTS TOAST!?!
ALAS, THAT WAS MYSTIQUE, NOT MAGNETO. MAGNETO IS IN ANOTHER PLACE. GO! X-MEN!
MY PLOOBAH *POINTS*
I WILL NOT DIE NOT YET AMIGO
WE CALL THIS A DIFFICULTLY TWEAK!
I LOVE YOU TOO! OH MY GODS, I'VE BEEN DYING TO SAY THAT.
ICH BIN VERWUNDET, ICH KANN MICH NICHT BEWEGEN
COR BLIMEY MATE! WHAT ARE YE DOIN IN ME POCKETS?
FORGET IT! YOU'RE NEVER TAKING KAIRI'S HEART!
NO, OLD FRIEND...YOU'VE FREED US ALL....WURAAHGHUGHHHUGUHHH
BUTTKICKING, FOR GOODNESS!
I'VE GOT A PLAN, ARTHUR
YOU GET A HEADSHOT, AND YOU GET A HEADSHOT!
NOW THERE'S A PRETTY MEME. EXQUISITE.
GOTTA REACH FOR THE TOP STAY ON THE MOUNTAAAAAIN DANA NANA NANANANA
JILL, HERE'S A LOCKPICK. IT MIGHT BE HELPFUL IF YOU, THE MASTER OF UNLOCKING, TAKE IT WITH YOU.
DONT FOGET ABOUT ME
YOUR DONE
I OFTEN THINK ABOUT THE GOD WHO LEFT US THIS CRYPTIC PUZZLE... AND I WONDER IF ILL EVER HAVE THE CHANCE TO KILL HIM.
IS IT TRUE WHAT THEY'RE SAYING? IS BAENLIN REALLY DEAD?
I'VE GOT A PRESENT FOR YA!
WHAT?! MORE WORK? BUT I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT!
I ALREADY "BEFRIENDED" YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT. -SANS
UNDERTALEDELTARUNEHAVE YOU EVER LICKED A LAMP POST IN WINTER?
I AM GRAHF, THE SEEKER OF POWER. DOTH THOU DESIRE THE POWER? MY FIST IS THE DIVINE BREATH! BLOSSOM, O FALLEN SEED, AND DRAW UPON THY HIDDEN POWERS! GRANT UNTO THEE THE POWER OF THE GLORIOUS MOTHER OF DESTRUCTION!
PAULA'S CALL IS ABSORBED BY THE DARKNESS
I FOUND YOU, FAKER!
I would but I don't want my phone to start suggesting all-caps words to me.
you have died of dysentery
I SAID NO LOLLYGAGGIN
“i want you to blow up…the ocean!”