Spyke

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33 replies

if you really need to neutralize the threat with maximum efficacy, follow up with a quick peck on the cheek and the attacker will apologize and turn themselves in.

4
Sibbo
sopuli.xyz

Is this the intro to some adult movie?

36
pawb.social
  1. If you're in this situation, you've got about a 95% chance of being boned, regardless of what training you have
  2. The fuck is that dude doing wearing a coral belt
8

Ah, ok

He's satire

I just assumed he was another one of those McDojo idiots

3

Pro Tip:

If you ever find yourself in the position of having a pistol shoved in your face and you cannot safely escape, it is possible to disarm your assailant.

Quickly grab the wrist or forearm of the hand holding the weapon with one hand and grab the weapon's muzzle with your other hand. While directing the weapon away from your body, push down on the muzzle like a lever. Your assailant will not be able to maintain their grip on the weapon. Be prepared for it to discharge because it probably will. If you decide to attempt this maneuver, DO NOT hesitate or you will probably get shot.

7
makeshiftreaperreply
lemmy.world

2nd pro tip:

If you've never attempted this before, when someone is pointing a gun at you is probably the incorrect time to try it out

32
yermawreply
sh.itjust.works

Yeah if someone's got a gun pointed at me, im just doing what the fuck im told. Maybe tell them i got a family.

14

Nah if someone is pointing a gun at me, i start acting deranged. Threaten their family, tell them im going to shit in my hand and throw it at them, etc. Getting shot is way cheaper than my monthly therapy bill.

3
ExLisperreply
lemmy.curiana.net

What I do in a situation like this is reach slowly to my pocket, pretending I'm going to grab my wallet but instead I take out the remote detonator that triggers the bomb I implanted in my attackers ass 3 months earlier. Look on their faces: priceless.

18
1984reply

I usually go for the chuck norris roundkick, there is no defence against that.

2

Former heavyweight boxer checking in.

DON'T FUCKING TRY THIS!!!

I got held up at gunpoint once, you know what I did? Put up my hands up and let them run my pockets. I just got home and left my cell in my car, they got a few dollars out my wallet. But the cards were cancelled before their taillights were gone.

Didn't be a badass. You ain't the chosen one. No matter how big and bad you think you might be, even a small .22lr gun will kill you.

What's funny is I had a decent knock off ulysse nardin maxi marine they didn't touch. Even though it was a knock off, it was worth at least ten times the ~$20 I had in my wallet.

5
bstixreply

While you're busy using both hands to disarm the one handed gun, your opponent has plenty of time to throw pocket sand.

3

Master Ken. Ameri-do-te. Learn those words, they will save you in a street fight.

5

Reminds me of the Derrick Comedy classic "Self Defense".

4
Surp
lemmy.world

Which master ken video is this I can't seem to find it on YouTube

3

Why are subtitles becoming more and more retarded? Is it karaoke or something?

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