I don't know how to say this without doxxing myself so I guess all I can really say is some of his latest material borders on bigotry but doesn't go far enough for you to be sure, and it could just be an ill thought out edgy routine. But I've spent a night drinking with him, and it's not an edgy routine.
This for me is the weird cishet paradox. So afraid to look "weak", that they obsess over not looking weak. But you know what looks super weak? Being insecure about being weak. Like, the more you have to prove you're a big tough guy, the less big and tough you seem.
I think you're imagining this as a more conscious process than it actually is. The reason you need to go out and research this is because these men aren't going around saying, "yeah, I was going to put my pepsi can in the metal recycling but I was worried my bro would call me gay so I just put it in the general waste." Instead, sometimes men put pepsi cans in general waste, and sometimes men do things due to social perceptions, and sometimes those social perceptions are that certain things are "unmanly" and working out which things are related to each other is quite hard.
So there's no paradox here. All people are subject to social pressures, and the vast majority of people make some effort to conform to those pressures in order to fit in and to receive approval from the people they value. Conforming to fit in isn't "weak" or "insecure", it's the nature of being a social animal, and is done instinctively - if you think it's done "obsessively" then you're imposing the analytical mindset of someone studying the evidence on the subjects of the research, which is a fundamental error. It'd be like saying someone who subconsciously mirrors the mannerisms of someone they respect is "obsessed" with getting their approval, when they likely don't realise they're doing it.
Also, I feel like they’ve never considered that gay doesn’t necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn’t necessarily mean weak/meek.
They almost certainly haven't because, again, if you're "considering" it, it's not the right concept. The concept that people are trying to avoid is the one that's labeled "gay" by their peers, which is really more of a gender thing than a sexuality thing; "what are you, gay?" isn't a question about someone's sexuality, it's a suggestion that someone is not conforming to the gender role expected of them. You can't successfully challenge that by saying "ackshually gay people can be v strong and they forget to put the pepsi can in the correct bin far more often than you might imagine." They'll just reply with, "OK bro sounds pretty gay," because you didn't challenge them on what they meant, only on what you thought they meant.
The challenge has to be more along the lines of creating a better awareness of societal expectations, tolerance of people who don't conform to them, and building up positive associations between behaviours we want to promote and conforming things people already value, to help them see things in a new light.
This is all subconscious shit that marketers have to deal with. There's a good article about it here. What bothers me is not knowing what unconscious biases like this that I have.
One thing that I do is randomly select varieties of things that I buy (wrt color, scent, etc.) I can't think of a time that I've ever regretted doing that.
I am convinced that there is legitimately a genetic cognitive deficit which makes people think this way, because it is just so obvious and transparent to me that it can't be an accident.
Whenever I hear a homophobe in real life start talking about gays, I usually just say "Since I'm not gay, I don't mentally think about what other men do in bed or with their dicks, but you do you". Sounds better in my language, I'm sure you can make it sound more punchy
I'm 99% certain that homophobia stems from dudes being gay/bi but brought up in a "conservative" environment, so there's a clash between what they secretly want and what they perceive as wrong.
I just can't even imagine having such a fragile ego and being so unconfident in my own sexuality, that I would be worried about people thinking I'm gay for using reusable bags.
Jesus Christ. These are the people who are making everything on this planet worse for the rest of us.
Inasmuch as these people have a "fragile ego", you probably also have a fragile ego. Virtually everyone subconsciously adapts their behaviour to gain the approval of other people whom they value.
The difference between you and them is not that you have a strong ego and are confident in your masculinity, it's that you don't value the views of people who judge people on that basis. And that is certainly no bad thing, but it's a fundamental difference, and making this error makes it very hard to understand people who are different from you.
At best you can call people who do this as having a very mild form of unconscious bias; you can't infer bigotry which I would say really ought to be either a consciously-held opinion, or if not then a set of behaviours that has a practical negative outcome.
I think the kind of person you're thinking of is a stereotypical bigoted jock who hangs out with his jock-friends and makes homophobic jokes all the time. That person we're maybe not surprised that they are motivated to avoid doing stuff associated with those outside their gender.
But I don't think (and there's nothing here to suggest) that it is only that kind of person who is so affected. Do you think that someone respectful of gay people, but who grew up in a conservative family and whose father makes comments like that, might not be motivated along the same lines out of a desire to their father? Or is it bigoted to seek the approval of your dad if your dad is a bigot? Even if it's not done consciously?
I don't because I hate everyone and actively avoid human interaction to the point of sabotage. Misanthrope is the only way to be straight. Or I guess pan in my case.
Oh 100%. I'm doing my part by using this giant Ikea bag I have. Big pride bag. Able to carry an ENORMOUS amount of stuff while being a giant rainbow across the whole thing. Me and my former best friend went to Ikea and bought one when she got a Blahaj and I got a Blavingaad and whatever the Octopus is called. I lovingly refer to the bag as my Baggot. The Whale is called 'Gay Perry' and the octopus is 'Ficus'. I love me some Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Okay but consider this black leather jacket to go with, or some accessories so you don't get mistaken for a tech bro. Maybe a mixed fabric panel to show that region you've been working out? Vest or unbuttonable portion?
Or pants of some sort to go with it? Maybe?
I'm not straight, I dont even like you people, but for fuck's sake learn to dress yourselves so I dont need to console my (often hot) straight friends or hear their absolutely heartbreaking 'he used conditioner and owns two pairs of jeans in different styles!' Exclamations of joy.
Style is a display and telegraphing of your personality.¹
Also, unless you're ace, you probably want her to think you're hot. You know how you like when a lady knows how to clothes good and dresses up and looks really fucking hot?
She wants something roughly equivalent, but has given up and dismissed it as fantasy.
If you wear something very fancy, it doesn't just say 'I am fancy' it says 'this is what I think is fancy, and I'm confident enough to wear it around and take the risk'.
Like, you wouldn't expect the same behavior and relationship from punk leather jacket guy, lumberjack, bard, thinks-hes-a-wizard, business-devil, and the guy wearing a silk button down hentai print shirt with a first-Doctor-scarf aviator goggles mirror shined shoes but fully donald-ducking it. Would you?
For real man. And it starts so fucking early. My girl can wear a freaking glitter soaked puffy skirt with a flower shirt and something crocheted with beads over it, accompanied with rainbow nail polish to kindergarten, and the boys are wearing... Blue jeans brown shirt. Maaaybe a shark print somewhere. Man, it is so hard to get pretty clothes for little boys. I've met some moms who were so fed up they literally learned how to sew and started sewing because everything was so bland for their boys. Buying girl clothes is not really an option either, not only because of the bullying from other kids but also because those clothes are so tight it is crazy. If it were just the patterns... It's also the tight leggings, tight jeggings, shirts tailored to the waist. So they sew. For now.
And most retailers really offer such incredibly boring clothes I get depression from just trying to find a tshirt for my husband. You have like 5 colors to choose from and 3 cuts per body half.
Where I live, university age kids now often dress in expensive vintage. Thank god. I've now seen color and fun on guys. Finally. And there is this teenager in the neighborhood who dresses up in black emo core and tights and skirts and paints his face with fake blood and all. I so often want to go to him and just tell him thank you for sticking to your style amidst the conservative neighborhood.
Meanwhile, me, as straight as a die, is seriously considering getting a "The Gays Can Do Whatever They Want" t-shirt from the Jimquisition store, because that's a great slogan.
Edit: Went to actually buy one, and the postage was more expensive than the shirt. For a t-shirt?! Fuck off!
Lol, meanwhile the bisexuals don't want to be perceived as gay because it's cutting their dating potential in half. Is that fear, because it's so self serving, worse or better than the homophobic reason of the straights?
How could you possibly be attracted to both genders? That's as crazy as wanting to change your gender or not being sexually attracted to anyone at all. You're clearly just plotting to cheat on me with someone of the opposite sex because you like cheating so much. Nobody would ever be both monogamous AND find people attractive across the gender spectrum.
The Great Male Renunciation is the historical phenomenon at the end of the 18th century in which wealthy men of the Western world stopped using bright colours, elaborate shapes and variety in their dress, which were left to women's clothing.
I've met a handful of straight men who were not afraid to be perceived as gay and humorously played along. They were usually the coolest guys in the room. Hell, the confidence alone made them more attractive, but I don't go there.
I'm a queer enby and I do the little circle below the waist gesture, with my hand, to get my friend's (my infinitely heteronormative friend) attention and then tell him because he looked he's gay now.
This is something the cis-boys in highschool used to joke around about because being gay was THE WORST thing you could be perceived as. I think it's harmless with my friend though he does get flustered that he's not gay and it's kinda cute.
You must be young still. I don't deny that - as you say - in school being perceived as gay was kind of bad / an insult, but that was us growing up in an atmosphere of toxic masculinity. I have matured beyond that and would laugh at such a prank.
Oh I just started my 30s I never did it as a teen personally, just witnessed others do it in toxic masculine form and now I my adulthood find it funny to emulate it towards someone who might have done it seriously in their teens for the laughs.
There's nuances to everything. My oldest "heteronormative" friend and I sometimes call each other honey and blow a kiss into the air, without being serious about it nor meaning it to mock people.
One of my coworkers loved to make "i bet so-and-so is gay, look at how he does stuff" joke remarks. I once had the chance to joke back: "Dunno man, you spend a LOT of time thinking about how he's gay, you're always paying attention to him, you're always talking about him, that's pretty gay of you" - That made him stop with those while I'm around, at least.
I see nowhere in there talking about anyone actually 'avoiding green behavior to avoid being considered gay', in real life.
The studies mentioned are surveys of hypothetical people, and its conclusion is something that's already known and obvious: the more things you do that are associated with the stereotype of the sex you aren't, the more likely it is that the average person will assume (correctly or not, but that's beside the point) you are gay.
The only distinction is that they were looking only at how some 'acts of environmentalism' are stereotypically aligned with femininity, but the above is true of literally everything that's stereotypically aligned with either femininity or masculinity.
"Suggests" is used in the screenshotted tweet to manipulate the reader into assuming things are taking place, without any evidence they actually are.
I drive an EV, use my e bike to shop, carry my own bags both bike and car, and have a portable collapsible basket for shopping if I use my car. No one has ever asked if or suggested that I'm gay.
In fact, I see more people assuming I have kids (I have none).
"Actively trying to avoid looking gay, is fucking gay." is not a joke.
That's actually not really true. A lot of great comedy is born from the 'dissection' of previous comedy, understanding how/why it was so effective. Analysis isn't destructive.
Extremely ironic thing to say, considering you're the one actively failing to follow your own line of thinking.
Why does it make you so uncomfortable to be asked a simple question that directly follows from your own words? Ironically, your decision to insult me instead of simply answering the question "screams insecurity".
Also ironically, you've almost certainly put zero thought into how statements like that are fundamentally homophobic; they indirectly perpetuate stereotypes about how gay people act.
Perhaps think about that, instead of projecting your thoughtlessness onto others.
That's funny, but it's also misrepresenting. Cross-dressing want really something that men would get away with u-assaulted ... unless you're Freddie Mercu. For how "manly men" were portrayed, look up Don Johnson with skinny ties and shoulder pads.
I'm a straight man that went to a gay bar with a bunch of lesbian friends and got hit on by a very feminine gay man. He like the way I dressed and how well I was put together.
It was such a confidence boost and made me very happy.
Shampoo (Hindi: chāmpo from Sanskrit capayati: to press, knead, or soothe) entered Europe in the mid‑18th century when Sake Dean Mahomed, an Indian entrepreneur, opened the first shampooing salon in Brighton, England; his establishments popularised the Ayurvedic blend of herbs, oils, and extracts that are origin of today’s shampoo. Before that, Europeans did not use a dedicated cleansing product. Hair was typically rinsed with water mixed with vinegar, ash or herbs, and many households relied on egg‑yolk washes (often beaten with warm water) as a gentle cleanser and conditioner. These rudimentary methods kept hair relatively clean but left residues that could weigh the hair down, especially under the heavy wigs fashionable from the late‑16th century onward. Wigs offered a practical solution before shampoo: they protected the scalp from lice, reduced the need for frequent washing, and allowed wearers to maintain a tidy appearance despite the limited cleaning agents available.
So dumb. I love my big bag. There is a store where I can grab a scanning "gun" and walk along adding my items into my bag. Then it's a really quick checkout at the self serve machine.
Straight white dude here and not afraid of being perceived as gay! Long hair to boot.
My wardrobe could best be described as “lazy Saturday afternoon.” I just want to wear comfortable clothes in muted colours. I don’t like drawing attention to myself.
Haute Couture was more about the Haute, and gender designation was a secondary concern at least until the 19th and 20th centuries in which boys and girls got color-coded and men and women weren't allowed to look like each other.
New, modern fashion blends right in with the rise of preppy style and existing in sportswear rather than business attire, especially since New York didn't have aristocrats...allegedly.
Before then, what was more important to an elite was they looked elite. Aristocracy is, after all government by the best where the best means having the most money.
I'm over here bringing in like 4 reusable bags (one is a pink tote I got from a work thing years ago) so I can not only pack three times the groceries in one bag but also not take a plastic bag I have to then recycle somehow.
Nothing makes me want to suck dick more than seeing someone put a bottle into the correct recycling bin :3
You'd love Japan
Unfortunately when they do that there it's censored with pixelation though
all the useless plastic packaging makes me straight 🗿
TIL giving a shit makes you gay.
It also makes you more appealing to women but the men don’t know that because Joe Rogan won’t invite a woman on his podcast to talk about it
Appealing to women is gay. They’re soft and flowery not hard and tight like a big strongman
https://youtu.be/h5VliEjyohM
A shame he's a bigoted arsehole who thinks "you can't say anything these days" now, but I felt obliged to link this standup
Is he? That's a shame. I haven't seen any of his recent stuff, but what little I've seen of him I've always enjoyed. What happened?
I don't know how to say this without doxxing myself so I guess all I can really say is some of his latest material borders on bigotry but doesn't go far enough for you to be sure, and it could just be an ill thought out edgy routine. But I've spent a night drinking with him, and it's not an edgy routine.
Sounds like a quote from The Art of Self-Defense
I mean, you suck a dick that's just one dick. You kiss a woman, and you are kissing every dick which has ever been in that mouth.
At very least, giving a shit makes you "woke" and the intent is the same as when they use gay as a slur (at least as far as i can follow their logic)
Fellas, is it gay to ingest external stimuli to guide your personal decision making framework?
This for me is the weird cishet paradox. So afraid to look "weak", that they obsess over not looking weak. But you know what looks super weak? Being insecure about being weak. Like, the more you have to prove you're a big tough guy, the less big and tough you seem.
Also, I feel like they've never considered that gay doesn't necessarily mean effeminate. Or even that effeminate doesn't necessarily mean weak/meek.
Yeah, in the 1950s you were a big tough guy if you wore all leather and had tattoos.
Now you might be a tough biker dude, sure, or you might be a power bottom with a kink.
Porque no Los dos?
I think you're imagining this as a more conscious process than it actually is. The reason you need to go out and research this is because these men aren't going around saying, "yeah, I was going to put my pepsi can in the metal recycling but I was worried my bro would call me gay so I just put it in the general waste." Instead, sometimes men put pepsi cans in general waste, and sometimes men do things due to social perceptions, and sometimes those social perceptions are that certain things are "unmanly" and working out which things are related to each other is quite hard.
So there's no paradox here. All people are subject to social pressures, and the vast majority of people make some effort to conform to those pressures in order to fit in and to receive approval from the people they value. Conforming to fit in isn't "weak" or "insecure", it's the nature of being a social animal, and is done instinctively - if you think it's done "obsessively" then you're imposing the analytical mindset of someone studying the evidence on the subjects of the research, which is a fundamental error. It'd be like saying someone who subconsciously mirrors the mannerisms of someone they respect is "obsessed" with getting their approval, when they likely don't realise they're doing it.
They almost certainly haven't because, again, if you're "considering" it, it's not the right concept. The concept that people are trying to avoid is the one that's labeled "gay" by their peers, which is really more of a gender thing than a sexuality thing; "what are you, gay?" isn't a question about someone's sexuality, it's a suggestion that someone is not conforming to the gender role expected of them. You can't successfully challenge that by saying "ackshually gay people can be v strong and they forget to put the pepsi can in the correct bin far more often than you might imagine." They'll just reply with, "OK bro sounds pretty gay," because you didn't challenge them on what they meant, only on what you thought they meant.
The challenge has to be more along the lines of creating a better awareness of societal expectations, tolerance of people who don't conform to them, and building up positive associations between behaviours we want to promote and conforming things people already value, to help them see things in a new light.
This is all subconscious shit that marketers have to deal with. There's a good article about it here. What bothers me is not knowing what unconscious biases like this that I have.
One thing that I do is randomly select varieties of things that I buy (wrt color, scent, etc.) I can't think of a time that I've ever regretted doing that.
Takes balls to be unmanly.
I am convinced that there is legitimately a genetic cognitive deficit which makes people think this way, because it is just so obvious and transparent to me that it can't be an accident.
Being afraid of looking gay is pretty fucking gay.
Whenever I hear a homophobe in real life start talking about gays, I usually just say "Since I'm not gay, I don't mentally think about what other men do in bed or with their dicks, but you do you". Sounds better in my language, I'm sure you can make it sound more punchy
I'm 99% certain that homophobia stems from dudes being gay/bi but brought up in a "conservative" environment, so there's a clash between what they secretly want and what they perceive as wrong.
Being attracted to women because they are soft and feminine is pretty fucking gay, too
I just can't even imagine having such a fragile ego and being so unconfident in my own sexuality, that I would be worried about people thinking I'm gay for using reusable bags.
Jesus Christ. These are the people who are making everything on this planet worse for the rest of us.
Inasmuch as these people have a "fragile ego", you probably also have a fragile ego. Virtually everyone subconsciously adapts their behaviour to gain the approval of other people whom they value.
The difference between you and them is not that you have a strong ego and are confident in your masculinity, it's that you don't value the views of people who judge people on that basis. And that is certainly no bad thing, but it's a fundamental difference, and making this error makes it very hard to understand people who are different from you.
I don't have a "strong ego," I strive to have no ego. Not easy, obviously, but I feel as if I do an alright job.
How am I making it harder for myself to understand them? I know they're bigoted, I thought that was a given.
At best you can call people who do this as having a very mild form of unconscious bias; you can't infer bigotry which I would say really ought to be either a consciously-held opinion, or if not then a set of behaviours that has a practical negative outcome.
I think the kind of person you're thinking of is a stereotypical bigoted jock who hangs out with his jock-friends and makes homophobic jokes all the time. That person we're maybe not surprised that they are motivated to avoid doing stuff associated with those outside their gender.
But I don't think (and there's nothing here to suggest) that it is only that kind of person who is so affected. Do you think that someone respectful of gay people, but who grew up in a conservative family and whose father makes comments like that, might not be motivated along the same lines out of a desire to their father? Or is it bigoted to seek the approval of your dad if your dad is a bigot? Even if it's not done consciously?
idk sounds pretty egotistical to me
HOW DARE YOU QUESTION ME
I don't because I hate everyone and actively avoid human interaction to the point of sabotage. Misanthrope is the only way to be straight. Or I guess pan in my case.
Oh 100%. I'm doing my part by using this giant Ikea bag I have. Big pride bag. Able to carry an ENORMOUS amount of stuff while being a giant rainbow across the whole thing. Me and my former best friend went to Ikea and bought one when she got a Blahaj and I got a Blavingaad and whatever the Octopus is called. I lovingly refer to the bag as my Baggot. The Whale is called 'Gay Perry' and the octopus is 'Ficus'. I love me some Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
Dont get me started on drinks! :)
Bleh. All those colorful drinks are so loaded with sugars. They look like fun, but get ready for a gnarly hangover. Stick with gin and sodas!
Gin and soda is pretty gay though..... IDK
Best cure for a hangover is drinking responsibly. Good drinks do make it hard though.
I'll take the girly drinks and keep wearing my black shirts, thanks
Okay but consider this black leather jacket to go with, or some accessories so you don't get mistaken for a tech bro. Maybe a mixed fabric panel to show that region you've been working out? Vest or unbuttonable portion?
Or pants of some sort to go with it? Maybe?
I'm not straight, I dont even like you people, but for fuck's sake learn to dress yourselves so I dont need to console my (often hot) straight friends or hear their absolutely heartbreaking 'he used conditioner and owns two pairs of jeans in different styles!' Exclamations of joy.
No thanks, I'll keep buying bulk black t-shirts and optionally MAYBE wear a hoodie and switch from shorts to jeans when it's cold out.
You are why straight girls are all tragic figures.
Cost efficient, though.
I'm hoping whoever I one day end up with, actually likes my personality not my things or style. To that end, I also now drive an old beater.
But the clothes are more about efficiency, yes. I have 20 pairs of the same socks too so I don't have to look for pairs.
Style is a display and telegraphing of your personality.¹
Also, unless you're ace, you probably want her to think you're hot. You know how you like when a lady knows how to clothes good and dresses up and looks really fucking hot?
She wants something roughly equivalent, but has given up and dismissed it as fantasy.
If you wear something very fancy, it doesn't just say 'I am fancy' it says 'this is what I think is fancy, and I'm confident enough to wear it around and take the risk'.
Like, you wouldn't expect the same behavior and relationship from punk leather jacket guy, lumberjack, bard, thinks-hes-a-wizard, business-devil, and the guy wearing a silk button down hentai print shirt with a first-Doctor-scarf aviator goggles mirror shined shoes but fully donald-ducking it. Would you?
I'm worried I'd become a Girl Drink Drunk
For real man. And it starts so fucking early. My girl can wear a freaking glitter soaked puffy skirt with a flower shirt and something crocheted with beads over it, accompanied with rainbow nail polish to kindergarten, and the boys are wearing... Blue jeans brown shirt. Maaaybe a shark print somewhere. Man, it is so hard to get pretty clothes for little boys. I've met some moms who were so fed up they literally learned how to sew and started sewing because everything was so bland for their boys. Buying girl clothes is not really an option either, not only because of the bullying from other kids but also because those clothes are so tight it is crazy. If it were just the patterns... It's also the tight leggings, tight jeggings, shirts tailored to the waist. So they sew. For now.
And most retailers really offer such incredibly boring clothes I get depression from just trying to find a tshirt for my husband. You have like 5 colors to choose from and 3 cuts per body half.
Where I live, university age kids now often dress in expensive vintage. Thank god. I've now seen color and fun on guys. Finally. And there is this teenager in the neighborhood who dresses up in black emo core and tights and skirts and paints his face with fake blood and all. I so often want to go to him and just tell him thank you for sticking to your style amidst the conservative neighborhood.
Second row should be Insecure men today.
Yep. Pathetic worthless dumbfucks. Normal men do not even think about such things.
Meanwhile, me, as straight as a die, is seriously considering getting a "The Gays Can Do Whatever They Want" t-shirt from the Jimquisition store, because that's a great slogan.
Edit: Went to actually buy one, and the postage was more expensive than the shirt. For a t-shirt?! Fuck off!
Lemmy guess, part of the delivery cost was tariffs?
This was from America to Australia, so unlikely.
I use a reusable bag because I'm not paying an extra 40p every time I go fucking shopping.
How homosexual of you.
I'm so jealous of blackmist.
Straight men then: No matter what I do, I still hate the idea of sucking another man's dick!
Straight men now: If I clean my ass too much I may want to suck another man's dick.
Many straight men don't want to be perceived as gay, while I, a queer man, simply don't want to be perceived.
I'd have so much fun if I could go invisible at will...
Who said that? Show yourself!
Must have been the wind...
Lol, meanwhile the bisexuals don't want to be perceived as gay because it's cutting their dating potential in half. Is that fear, because it's so self serving, worse or better than the homophobic reason of the straights?
How could you possibly be attracted to both genders? That's as crazy as wanting to change your gender or not being sexually attracted to anyone at all. You're clearly just plotting to cheat on me with someone of the opposite sex because you like cheating so much. Nobody would ever be both monogamous AND find people attractive across the gender spectrum.
Your username screams "perceive me!"
It's to distract you from seeing me over my username. 😌
Then you should get better curtains
Ohhhhh 🤯
Masculinity is when you are afraid for how other people perceive you.
Toxic masculinity is that, among many other things.
I think toxic masculinity actually has little to do with actual masculinity. Not disagreeing with you here, more like elaborating.
That's the opposite of it.
Is this what alpha feels like? Are we all feeling alpha yet?
The Great Male Renunciation is the historical phenomenon at the end of the 18th century in which wealthy men of the Western world stopped using bright colours, elaborate shapes and variety in their dress, which were left to women's clothing.
That doesn't sound great at all.
The only reason for a man to be so concerned about another man's sexuality, is they want to be a part of it.
Yep, which is why homophobes talk about (man on man) anal sex waaaaay more than gay men.
ftfy
Exactly
Men are not afraid of being perceived as gay. Only insecure weirdos that need therapy are afraid of that.
I've met a handful of straight men who were not afraid to be perceived as gay and humorously played along. They were usually the coolest guys in the room. Hell, the confidence alone made them more attractive, but I don't go there.
I'm a queer enby and I do the little circle below the waist gesture, with my hand, to get my friend's (my infinitely heteronormative friend) attention and then tell him because he looked he's gay now. This is something the cis-boys in highschool used to joke around about because being gay was THE WORST thing you could be perceived as. I think it's harmless with my friend though he does get flustered that he's not gay and it's kinda cute.
You must be young still. I don't deny that - as you say - in school being perceived as gay was kind of bad / an insult, but that was us growing up in an atmosphere of toxic masculinity. I have matured beyond that and would laugh at such a prank.
Oh I just started my 30s I never did it as a teen personally, just witnessed others do it in toxic masculine form and now I my adulthood find it funny to emulate it towards someone who might have done it seriously in their teens for the laughs.
There's nuances to everything. My oldest "heteronormative" friend and I sometimes call each other honey and blow a kiss into the air, without being serious about it nor meaning it to mock people.
One of my coworkers loved to make "i bet so-and-so is gay, look at how he does stuff" joke remarks. I once had the chance to joke back: "Dunno man, you spend a LOT of time thinking about how he's gay, you're always paying attention to him, you're always talking about him, that's pretty gay of you" - That made him stop with those while I'm around, at least.
This is the original article the bitly link points to:
https://psmag.com/environment/how-gender-stereotypes-affect-pro-environment-behavior/
I see nowhere in there talking about anyone actually 'avoiding green behavior to avoid being considered gay', in real life.
The studies mentioned are surveys of hypothetical people, and its conclusion is something that's already known and obvious: the more things you do that are associated with the stereotype of the sex you aren't, the more likely it is that the average person will assume (correctly or not, but that's beside the point) you are gay.
The only distinction is that they were looking only at how some 'acts of environmentalism' are stereotypically aligned with femininity, but the above is true of literally everything that's stereotypically aligned with either femininity or masculinity.
"Suggests" is used in the screenshotted tweet to manipulate the reader into assuming things are taking place, without any evidence they actually are.
This post is disingenuous tripe.
I drive an EV, use my e bike to shop, carry my own bags both bike and car, and have a portable collapsible basket for shopping if I use my car. No one has ever asked if or suggested that I'm gay.
In fact, I see more people assuming I have kids (I have none).
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE.
Pussies.
Actively trying to avoid looking gay, is fucking gay.
How do you figure?
It screams insecurity.
So, insecurity is gay?
Humor can be dissected, as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process.
Just stop.
yawn
Don't like to think about things, do you? You just comment.
Extremely ironic thing to say, considering you're the one actively failing to follow your own line of thinking.
Why does it make you so uncomfortable to be asked a simple question that directly follows from your own words? Ironically, your decision to insult me instead of simply answering the question "screams insecurity".
Also ironically, you've almost certainly put zero thought into how statements like that are fundamentally homophobic; they indirectly perpetuate stereotypes about how gay people act.
Perhaps think about that, instead of projecting your thoughtlessness onto others.
Lol type some more walls of text to feel better
Because it's stupid.
Being gay is not stupid. Trying your best to not look gay just makes you look closeted. And stupid.
Only to those who've already made assumptions about that person.
amen 🙏
1 upvote = 1 prayer
Not men.
Some men don't wash their asses because they think it's gay.
They don't wash their asses and think that is not a problem.
Homophobia is literally disgusting.
So... gay people actually have a cultural advantage for once. That's a rare one.
Yeah, damn.
I'll wear a pink tutu to the store if I so decide. I'm a man, I don't care how I'm perceived.
That's funny, but it's also misrepresenting. Cross-dressing want really something that men would get away with u-assaulted ... unless you're Freddie Mercu. For how "manly men" were portrayed, look up Don Johnson with skinny ties and shoulder pads.
Poodles with guitars, yes. 🤩 There weren't many people looking like that in regular life.
I don't know if I'm supposed to recognise the "now" dude but he looks like not a celebrity, just someone you'd pass by on a fashionable street.
I'm a straight man that went to a gay bar with a bunch of lesbian friends and got hit on by a very feminine gay man. He like the way I dressed and how well I was put together.
It was such a confidence boost and made me very happy.
I use multiple reusable bags every time I go shopping and I've only kissed one man. How do I become even more
gaygreen?Everyone thinks i'm gay anyway. Might as well bring my own reusable bag.
"You're not homophobic. You're homochondriac"
I recall reading that in a meme on Lemmy.
A style used to hide blemishes and hair loss from things like Syphilis.
Also Shampoo:
Very interesting, thank you
Now you wear them proudly and openly, like a real man (with syphilis)!
So dumb. I love my big bag. There is a store where I can grab a scanning "gun" and walk along adding my items into my bag. Then it's a really quick checkout at the self serve machine.
Straight white dude here and not afraid of being perceived as gay! Long hair to boot.
My wardrobe could best be described as “lazy Saturday afternoon.” I just want to wear comfortable clothes in muted colours. I don’t like drawing attention to myself.
The whole "long hair = gay" thing is such weird boomer shit. It's right up there with believing that gay men wear dresses and makeup.
It's not even 21st century homophobia. It's like something out of the 1950s.
I think "It's okay to be a little metrosexual in the 20s"
Petro-masculinity: Fossil Fuels and Authoritarian Desire - Cara Daggett, 2018 - https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0305829818775817
So gay men follow outdated fashion trends? Who knew? Still, destroying nature as a fashion statement is a bit too fashion forward.
Haute Couture was more about the Haute, and gender designation was a secondary concern at least until the 19th and 20th centuries in which boys and girls got color-coded and men and women weren't allowed to look like each other.
New, modern fashion blends right in with the rise of preppy style and existing in sportswear rather than business attire, especially since New York didn't have aristocrats...allegedly.
Before then, what was more important to an elite was they looked elite. Aristocracy is, after all government by the best where the best means having the most money.
Ok over it.
This still kind of works as a compass meme, which I thought it was for way too long.
I'm over here bringing in like 4 reusable bags (one is a pink tote I got from a work thing years ago) so I can not only pack three times the groceries in one bag but also not take a plastic bag I have to then recycle somehow.
High heels were originally created for horse riding because they would help you keep a good grip on the stirrups.