Seriously, someone with internet search powers, please tell me where I can get number 3. I want to carry it in my pocket at all times and reveal it in the middle of conversations like a badge of my goblinage.
Silver actually interacts horribly with and ruins the flavour of some foods. There’s a reason why silver cups often have gold plating on the inside to not ruin the taste of wine.
It's tarnished and might taste funny. Plus it's got those weird ridges which would bother some of the neurospicy peeps until they learn not to suck it like a goddamn "lollipop" when they're eating.
I discussed your request with my client, and we decided to move forward with accepting it.
However, it's up to you, yo approve this decision. Your options are (a) use spoon number 3 for the rest of your life, or (b) use a normal spoon for the rest of your life.
Keep in mind that:
You can only use the chosen spoon, no matter what the circumstances. For example, it doesn't matter if you forgot it at home, or you are trying to eat a steak.
You may wash your spoon, when necessary.
You use other tools for other jobs. Rule 1 only applies to eating.
You may not change spoon if it breaks, or gets contaminated.
Sorry if rule 1 was not clear, but you can only use the spoon when eating. In the positive side of things, you will no longer have to carry an entire set.
Objection, it's not a spork (it also has a knife edge), but assuming this gets overruled, I affirm my threat to use the unholy, very clearly haunted, and quite possibly toxic, number 3 spoon to threaten OP for the right to use any normal spoon.
First of all, if you can only eat with one spoon, you might as well pick a cool-looking one. Imagine being at a social event and people are handing out spoons to eat soup or whatever, and you're like "no thanks, I always eat with this spoon I brought from home". That would be kinda cringe and weird if you pick a spoon with a boring basic design. But if you pick the third one with it's interesting demon handle, it's gonna make you look mysterious. People are going to wonder and ask you about the story behind the spoon. Women will giggle at you and ask if you'd share the spoon with them.
Secondly, it has the most generally useful shape. Being smaller than the others can be very useful for eating from some containers. It has corners instead of being perfectly round, which allows a bit of scraping. But because the corners are rounded, you don't have to worry about leaving scratches or carving microplastics out of plastic containers.
My fingers. My. Goddamned. Fingers. Fuck you. I'd rather go through the sensory hell of shoveling chicken noodle in my gullet than use any of these textural monstrocities.
I (and many Germans I assume) know that spoon all to well being used for sugar. As such you'd imagine it's in there forever with stuck sugar pieces making the spoon rather unappealing, too.
Probably 4. As my second choice i would also choose 2, while it looks also nice as a knife replacement i think it would easily break. that spoon has to last a lifetime so its 4
GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL GOBLIN SHOVEL
Seriously, someone with internet search powers, please tell me where I can get number 3. I want to carry it in my pocket at all times and reveal it in the middle of conversations like a badge of my goblinage.
It seems likely there are at least two letters missing here.
Oops lol too excited about the goblin shovel I fixed it
"Lincoln Imp spoon" gets some results.
I would like to acquire my own goblin shovel.
GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
GOBLIN ASS-SHOVEL
#4 looks like a shoehorn. Is that even concave enough to use as a spoon? Likely not. That's out.
#3 is definitely not a spoon. No idea what it is, but it's not gonna work well as a spoon. Not gonna deal with that one.
#2 is actually a spoon, but a small one. It'll be frustrating to use forever. I'd prefer not to use it.
#1 is actually a decent sized spoon. Oddly shaped, but it'll hold a decent amount of food or liquid. I guess I could live with that one.
3 looks like my grandmothers sugar spoon from one of those little jar and spoon sets
Mooooomin spoooon
It doesn't say we get a fork or knife, so I'll choose 2 for it's pointy/stabbing ability.
As a bonus, I'm pretty sure #1 is tarnished Sterling silver.
You're also going to keep cutting the sides of your mouth with #2 (maybe not at first but if it's the only one you can use, forever?).
you can kill a zombie with #2.
Four looks like the only one made of stainless steel. The rest will have a flavour.
#1 looks like tarnished silver. That's clean up easy.
Do we know if it's maidenless?
Why the fuck do you want to spend the rest of your life cleaning silver?
Silver actually interacts horribly with and ruins the flavour of some foods. There’s a reason why silver cups often have gold plating on the inside to not ruin the taste of wine.
I’d stick with the steel any time.
Dont clean off that patina! Rick would be displeased if you did.
Childhood memory of surprisingly disgusting pudding 🔓
Why wouldn't anyone choose 1? It's just a bit blocky, but a spoon nonetheless.
And the question said
eat, so small spoons are available for cooking or jars when neededIt's the only thing that would even work inside a mouth. Don't get me wrong, I still don't want it, but 1 is the most spoon-shaped and endurable.
It's tarnished and might taste funny. Plus it's got those weird ridges which would bother some of the neurospicy peeps until they learn not to suck it like a goddamn "lollipop" when they're eating.
If 4 is some weird ass moomin spoon like I think it might, definitely that one because fuck yeah moomin!
Otherwise it has to be the goblin shovel.
3 and use it to threaten OP into letting me use a normal spoon again.
OP's lawyer here
I discussed your request with my client, and we decided to move forward with accepting it.
However, it's up to you, yo approve this decision. Your options are (a) use spoon number 3 for the rest of your life, or (b) use a normal spoon for the rest of your life.
Keep in mind that:
Then we have an accord. IRL, I carry a cutlery set among the various other accoutrements in my bag, so we should be good.
Sorry if rule 1 was not clear, but you can only use the spoon when eating. In the positive side of things, you will no longer have to carry an entire set.
Violence it is then:
Your request was about "a normal spoon". The object in the picture is a spork.
My client decided that your request should be rejected, and you have to use spoon 3.
Incorrect, it's a KnSpork. Our only proof of superior alien life on earth.
sprife
Objection, it's not a spork (it also has a knife edge), but assuming this gets overruled, I affirm my threat to use the unholy, very clearly haunted, and quite possibly toxic, number 3 spoon to threaten OP for the right to use any normal spoon.
Spilling blood on it will summon the edgelord
The reactionary ombudsman of the techno-feudalist eldrich horrors.
Do you hate soup?
What's stopping you from using it for soup?
The back of it.
Tip back the bowl! SLURP SLURP!
And the front of it.
Also the sides.
Not OP but I reckon I could live life comfortably without one.
Yes and I'm tired of apologizing for it. Go enjoy your dirty puddle of a meal you slurper
/s
That is our word!
I drink soup from a sports bottle. Like an Olympian.
this will still hold soup, just not as much.
I choose no spoon
has to be #1. Can eat soup comfortably, will balance in hand well without your hand touching the soup. Still small enough to stir coffee.
Sorry but in my house that’s the cat food spoon.
The one with all the ridges that's hardest to clean?
That’s why it’s the cat food spoon, baby. Blast it with the nuclear hot water and move on.
you just got to work your tongue out more often, buddy
And you can stab anyone that tries to steal your food.
2, all the other ones can go to hell holy shit i'd cry if i had to eat with them (yes, i'm neurodivergent hello)
But 2 is spiky in the back and it will stab your lips when you pull in out of your mouth.
That just gives you an excuse to practice your lip game while eating
i can live with physical pain if it saves me from mental anguish
I'd definitely pick 3.
First of all, if you can only eat with one spoon, you might as well pick a cool-looking one. Imagine being at a social event and people are handing out spoons to eat soup or whatever, and you're like "no thanks, I always eat with this spoon I brought from home". That would be kinda cringe and weird if you pick a spoon with a boring basic design. But if you pick the third one with it's interesting demon handle, it's gonna make you look mysterious. People are going to wonder and ask you about the story behind the spoon. Women will giggle at you and ask if you'd share the spoon with them.
Secondly, it has the most generally useful shape. Being smaller than the others can be very useful for eating from some containers. It has corners instead of being perfectly round, which allows a bit of scraping. But because the corners are rounded, you don't have to worry about leaving scratches or carving microplastics out of plastic containers.
My fingers. My. Goddamned. Fingers. Fuck you. I'd rather go through the sensory hell of shoveling chicken noodle in my gullet than use any of these textural monstrocities.
Looking to introduce the spoon thing for non-autistics too eh?
2 is the only one that doesn't look so big it won't fit in your mouth.
also makes a good arrowhead / eye stabber.
#1.
Otherwise, you're a fucking moron.
Nooo the creases would drive me crazy
Don't clamp down on the spoon like you're trying to pay rent with alternative options
impossible to clean
you die a few weeks later, unable to clean your utensils.
None of the above, I will use my fingers instead.
4
This. Like, I might be crazy, but I’m kinda into #4.
in spite of myself i choose Saucy Goblin Spoon and am angry every time i eat cereal until i die
1-3 are out of the question
It is subjective of course!
I (and many Germans I assume) know that spoon all to well being used for sugar. As such you'd imagine it's in there forever with stuck sugar pieces making the spoon rather unappealing, too.
Going with Indiana Jones logic I'll pick 2
No.
Number 4 because its the biggest
The Spoomin is obviously the only correct choice here!
Gimme the little shovel. (3)
I dislike all of them but if I had to choose I'd be spoon 1
4
Great shape for soup, scooping out ice cream, sliding your foot into a tight shoe, eating oatmeal and eating cereal.
#4 -> melt it down, make 3 normal spoons
the availability of spoons is not the matter at hand
No more soup for me, i guess.
#3. It has a little guy!!!
I'll use my fingers.
Love eating soup like this
This is fucked up.
Probably 4. As my second choice i would also choose 2, while it looks also nice as a knife replacement i think it would easily break. that spoon has to last a lifetime so its 4
Can't, I already got a titanium spork more than a decade ago.
One. It already looks like the sugar spoon my kid always picks first for her meals anyway.
Any man that loses their spoon spends a night in the box.
Easy, #4 doubles as a poop scoop
Number four if I can flip it 180 degrees. Looks like a nice shoveling spoon with some knifing ability.
If I can’t flip it then number one.
Low effort post, taken from tiktok. You guys bring these new ideas over here, you should become something lol
Ok boomer
tiktok seems like the perfect place to grab shit for a shit post though
Sure, if you think so.
TokTok is definitely full of shit, so I don't see how it's not a good source of shit.