Spyke
lemmy.world

Put your handheld valuables or nice trinkets away anytime a friend is bringing over someone you don’t know. I miss my PSP :(

61
Jessicareply
lemmy.blahaj.zone

I was about to comment There wasn’t any bitcoin in the late nineties!

Then I realized that not everyone is the same age as me. Apparently I’m very high 😅

14

Don't smoke cigarettes ever.

Slow down at that blind corner in October 1989.

Don't take the shortcut to downtown in July 1994.

Don't lift that giant tube tv by yourself in May 2005.

Never stop exercising, playing guitar, writing, and painting/multimedia art.

54

It might be to avoid a hernia or other injury. I stupidly tried to lift a heavy widescreen CRT TV and tore a muscle doing it.

6

Yeah this thread is 70% sad-sack life stories, 10% Sports Almanac financial advice, and 20% popping around the corner with a rainbow flag yelling SURPRISE!

29
blindbunnyreply
lemmy.ml

This is my favorite version because it doesn't tell yourself exactly what you are but you sure as fuck aren't straight 😂

9

I didn't even think of this the double entender makes it even better.

4

Keep hiding when you hear him come. It’ll get better. You’ll leave and he’ll die, alone. She loves you but must deal with her own issues which are related to being his wife. Hang in there.

31

This exchange made me realize how gender the tea party scene from Toy Story is. Buzz is a high masc, high femme bi-gender icon.

8

Hell no. You actually think in this social climate, as a grown-ass man I'm gonna be seen talking to a ten-year-old boy whose relationship to me can't be explained in a way any reasonable person would believe?!

That little shit can figure it out on his own, just like I had to.

19

You're not lazy, you're not stupid, and you're not a loser. You just have ADHD, and once you figure that out things will get much, much easier. Hang in there.

19

That's pretty much exactly what I would say. I'm grateful there's so much more awareness now. But it would have been waaayy easier to find out in my teens than in my 30s, now that I have years of ingrained habits and self destructive thinking. Its like carving wood instead of shaping play doh.

10
  1. Do not let Mom ever have brain surgery.
  2. Make grandma see a different doctor. The current one is clueless.
  3. Bust Dad for smoking in secret and force him to stop. You know how it can be done.
  4. Idea of Mom and Dad getting a divorce is a scary one, but it probably would make their and your life a lot better.
  5. Start jogging daily. You'll never like it, but you need to do it to.
  6. Ask her out when you're 15. She likes you too.
  7. Start taking guitar and piano lessons. Turns out you have musical talent, you just haven't realized it yet.
  8. No, I won't tell you how to get rich. You'd fuck your life up royally with unlimited money.
19

No.

But, uh... I have a ROM of Sonic 2 where you can play as Sonic Tails AND Knuckles, all at the same freaking time.

Wanna play it?

18

TW child abuse

Both your mum and dad are using you to hurt each other. The stuff they tell you, the way they hit you and scream at you, all that is wrong. It's not your fault, and I love you because despite all the evil they unleashed on you, you grow up to be a sensitive, caring, loving human being.

You have autism. You are not broken, or lazy. You spend your time daydreaming because the real world is incredibly shitty to you. Next time you see a doctor, ask them to speak to them alone, and ask them to get you the help you need.

None of those children are your friends. They're nasty bullies and you don't need their approval.

Your life gets better. Find this girl in America and be her penpal. Meet up, she's your soulmate. Tell her everything you know to help her heal, and she'll help you in return.

Memorize these dates and use them to make fucktons of money. Use your billions to plant trees. Plant as many trees as possible, as early as possible.

See you in 40 years. Sincerely, you.

Edited to add:

This is a hug, your parents never hug you and you need to be comforted. They've never told you they love you, and that's incredibly important to do every day.

It's ok to cry, don't shut that part of you off to stop the bullying.

Don't get on a motorcycle like your dad wants, you don't have good hand eye coordination or good eyesight, and the accident you get into leads to lifelong chronic pain.

You are not ugly, and it's ok to be weird! Celebrate your uniqueness!

Instead of sitting outside a locked house for hours after school, go to the library and read, you're allowed to do that.

That teacher is a pervert, don't be their friend just because they talk to you.

Spend more time with your aunts and grandmother, they love you and can help you feel normal.

Your mum lies to you about a lot of stuff, she's very damaged and taking it out on you because you arrived a month after her 16th birthday. She was r***d by your dad and made to stay with him, none of that is your fault or burden to bear.

Your brother is an annoying little shit, just walk away from him. He grows up into a nasty fascistic asshole who blames everyone else for his failures. Including you. Do not ever get involved with anything he does, especially to do with computers

You have way too much put on you for such a young person. Read these books for ways to withstand it all. I wish I could travel back in time and adopt you.

18

Mine Bitcoin when it comes out because they actually will become valuable in the future.

18

Don’t do drugs. Ever.

If you are being pressured by your peers, change them. There are other peers out there who will value your decision.

18

Tell dad about everything going on. Don't stop telling him. He's the one who will help you get away from the bad stuff that's about to start, and keep it from getting worse. Things will still hurt, but not as much. He can help you through the confusion.

And he won't hate you for feelings you're already having. He'll help it make sense, help you find the words you keep looking for.

17

My friend, as a dad, this hit me right in the feels. I'm glad it sounds like you did get the help you needed, wish it had been sooner.

4

Bro. Ten year old you is going to be hella confused and stressed if you're really telling him this. Probably won't be able to focus that way either

2

Hey! It’s ok that you feel like a girl trapped in a boys body! Mom and Dad won’t really like it, but they will eventually come around. You can do this!

15
lemmy.world

Yes, I'm going to tell you about the 4-5 girls, that were/will be interested in you but you were/will be to dumb to notice. Stay calm, be yourself and take a little initiative. It'll be alright!

14

You weren't just too dumb to notice, they were also too scared to be explicit. Don't be too hard on yourselves.

But it's also true that we were all too dumb as shit to notice.

11

So you love watching anti-pride protests on YT, right? Actually you love cocks too. You're bi haha cope kiddo does fortnite dances.

12
lemmy.world

You WILL actually end up with a boring, white collar job, and you can make a lot more money a hell of a lot easier if you don't get any tattoos from the neck up.

Also, you hate them but you're really good with computers.

12

Computers are fine, if people could just be convinced to stop using them it would be so much better.

6

It's okay to be alone. There will be people later who will enjoy your presence, but if you're only comfortable alone that's okay. As long as you try every once in a while.

12

Be less Christian to be more Christ-Like.

Being gay is not something you're stuck with, it's who you are and you have every right to celebrate it.

You're very clever. Don't use your cleverness to manipulate or do harm.

You will find love.

ACAB

12

Keep a low profile and you'll be fine. Just don't take parenting/relationship advice from your parents.

Also: School stuff really is freaking easy if you'd put in just a little bit of real effort.

And skip that girl you meeed when you are 17. She's trouble.

10

You're gonna end up almost dying at around... 16 yrs? Do not go through that target training course.

Oh, and you're Ace & Genderfluid, have fun!

10

You've got some fucked up shit heading your way kiddo, can't really do anything about it though so I guess just git gud and toughen up? Also, avoid alcohol, it doesn't help and will eventually kill you.

9

You were supposed to write to your 10yo self, not to yourself when you were still alive.

3

avoid alcohol, it doesn't help and will eventually kill you. [citation needed]

0

Ask an older relative to invest a couple hundred dollars for you, in both Apple and Microsoft, not to be touched for at least 2 decades.

9

Your parents are doing their best with the tools they have, but they're preparing you for the world they grew up in - not the one you will live in. The things you think are for other people? They're for you too. You can have them, it's just going to be a lot of work to get there.

9

You think being a Jehovah's Witness is bad? Pro tip, move in with dad but don't be his friend. Don't fall for any kind of "modeling" scam he pulls on you.

8

Theres a few:

  • yeah, don't buy PC parts and wow gold with those bitcoins you will mine in 2011...

  • watch out for the fallen tree at the bottom of the hill on the bike path, your breaks don't work very well.

  • some older kid will decide to bully you, but dont let it bother you so much. Loser ends up unaliving himself via drunk driving into a wall later on.

  • oh also don't take your ps1 and gamecube collection to EB games for trade in, you only get 3 xbox 360 games out of the deal and will regret it.

8

There's a smallish coffee company up in Seattle called Starbucks. Invest early and often. And while you're up there be sure to catch a Mother Lovebone show, but don't get too attached to Andy Wood.

8

You're gonna be the happiest you've ever been, but it's going take another 30 years and a failed marriage to get there. Hang tough - it's worth it!

8
  1. you're right about all the contradictions in the Bible
  2. drop everything and immediately begin learning Java and Python. if you get good enough you can skip college entirely and save years of emotional hell
  3. convince mom to let you quit the instruments you hate playing and do computer extracurriculars instead
  4. buy bitcoin sell in Nov '21 lol (or just invent it)
  5. learn Mandarin Chinese, not Japanese. also maybe chill w/ the weeb shit
  6. move to NYC as soon as you can and DO NOT LEAVE even if there's a scary pandemic because you won't be able to afford to move back and you'll miss it real bad :(
  7. BUY AN EARTHBOUND CARTRIDGE BEFORE THEY BECOME UNOBTAINABLY EXPENSIVE 😭
8

You have ADHD

Admitting you are wrong is the first step towards being less wrong

You are not that smart, you are just a guy with glasses that can't fight and makes sentences that are way too long

Be sure to be doubtful

8
  • Try to listen/think before you start talking.
  • Listen to your parents even if you don't feel like it.
  • Stop watching the naughty stuff because it's bad for you.
8

Tell her you love her. You won't be harmed, even if she doesn't feel the same.

8
lemmy.ml

Dad dies when you're 23. Mom is mentally ill, don't ruin yourself trying to save her. Buy bitcoin!

8

Thanks. I'm inventing bitcoin.

I don't know what it is, but that doesn't matter no one does.

1

Get your thyroid checked out. Turns out major depressive disorder can be brought on by hypothyroidism. Who knew?

8

Your dad is a piece of shit. Find a mentor before your too old and you have to figure it all out by yourself.

7

Eh forget about that man. Despite sharing his name, he’s not even your real biological father. Family is about more than genetics.

7

When you finish college - keep making/playing/studying music. Play more rugby - when you're too old to play you'll wish you had. Don't sell your mandolin or your acoustic guitar. You'll regret them both in later years. Buy bitcoin.

6

Punch that fucker Liam right in his smug face, he's a little bitch and is all talk, and you miss the chance once he goes to jail.

Keep going with your Euphonium practice, or you'll forget it all and you're really good at it.

Don't be scared to ask for stuff you need, you aren't imposing on anyone and nobody is going to hate you for it.

6

In a few years there will be something called Bitcoins, buy them, like a lot. Double what you think of and sell them 2021.

6

Hold on for just a couple more years. I know it will seem like an eternity, and I know the damage that has been done. But you will be moving to a much better place.

6

"You are not responsible; you were loved and wanted. Don't lower your head. Dare to speak your mind. Don't be afraid to tell others what you go through. You are going to be a bigger person than you expect."

5

carry on, life is great. Endure and you will be happy. It suck right now but you will spend way more time happy than sad.

5

Your parents getting divorced and you should tell your parents to get you diagnosed for autism. Especially since we used to be mute when we were younger and we were also in special ed and rode the short bus.

5

Please don't let your dad marry that cunt who'll become your absolute doom in the future. She may seem nice and warm but it's a fucking facade. She's a fucking cunt and they will destroy every inch of happiness you have.

4
lemmy.world

There will be a time when manipulative charisma will feel strangely like love and home. Don’t listen, learn what real love feels like.

4
lemmy.today

Don’t listen, learn what real love feels like.

Still waiting to find out what that is or what it's supposed to feel like.

2

It feels like being safe, and wrapped in a cocoon of warmth. That you never have to regret.

4

Your life isn't going to be "normal" and it's not your fault. You are going to be different and it's not because you are better or worse. just different. Just do your best and that's all anyone can want from you.

4

Invent something called "citalopram," You'll be rich and feel better at the same time.

4

Next year will be the hardest year you've ever had, don't let it turn you bitter and cynical, people are cruel because they are struggling, hurt, and broken, and turn that around to others. Try to keep your heart open

3
lemmy.world

Plenty of people you love end up killing themselves.

Maybe it's not such a terrible idea to precede them and save yourself the grief of abandonment.

3
Todayreply
lemmy.world

I'm sorry you've lost people you love and feel alone.

8

You're good people. They got rarer and rarer the older I got. Glad to see they do still exist.

5

Don't listen to what anyone else tells you.

It will never get any better for you. Only worse and worse.

Also never, ever, fall in love. The only women that will ever express any interest at all in you are mentally unstable abusers who will hurt you in ways far worse than your family ever did.

2
sh.itjust.works

Don't learn shit to change the world, but to become wealthy. You won't change it, so make yourself comfortable.

-5
gonzo0815reply
sh.itjust.works

Being engaged in politics and activism left me depressed and cynical, so I'd rather trade the last 15-20 years for a carefree life. I know, fuck me, but I neither changed anything nor did anything good for me personally come out of this.

3

Carefree doesn't mean wealthy. And getting wealthy in 15-20 years necessarily involves fucking up the life of people in the process so... very much yes, fuck you, as you say.

1