I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to "become a normie", and I learned that it wasn't because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can't resist assholes.
Also, young people often are bad at determining how impressive someone is so they go off the social cues of just believing that they're acting genuinely in line with their status. This means someone moderately attractive treating 21 year olds like they're just barely worth their time can often get anything from sex to unpaid overtime if they sell it well and are indiscriminately fishing.
Most people grow out of it, but some don't. Then there's also that the pool isn't a representative sample of the population. The mature and discriminate are easy to miss (they filter heavily), more likely to leave low investment pools like tinder because the effort/value proposition is bad, and when they leave because of relationships will take longer to return to the pool. It's not that all the good ones are taken, its that most of the bad ones are looking.
I've known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking "ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole."
They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
I find that spanning inferential distances is typically best accomplished by starting from obvious facts. When you say something that sounds dumb because it is so obvious, you've found a good starting point for creating shared understanding.
They do this because [even nice and intelligent] women are human horny, and do the very human horny thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
Bad/terrible people can be hot. In fact, often when people are hot they feel more free to be their natural asshole selves because they can get away with it more. This applies to both men and women in all directions.
In fact, some people want their partner to be mean to them, its more often hetero women who like that. If a guy can be mean and get away with it, that implies they're hot shit, extremely confident, rich, and/or powerful. Those are attractive features in a guy.
There are also hetero men who want women to be mean to them, especially in the bedroom.
I wonder if there are more assholes than normal people, so that it only seems that assholes are more successful in dating because there are simply more of them.
It can work by sampling biases. Let's say you have a hundred marbles, 99 blue, 1 orange, each has a number on it. Each day you pull out 5, if it's blue you roll a d20 and on a 20 you keep it out for 1d20 turns. If it's orange you put it back without rolling, but you have to do a push up.
It will feel like there's way more orange than any individual blue. Why? The orange is more noticeable at a glance, it changes the interaction from routine, and the blue marbles have a chance to leave the bag for a few turns and so once it's gotten going the bag often has more than 1% orange in it.
The default on tinder is swipe, no match, but if match no conversation, but if conversation it goes nowhere, but if it goes somewhere it doesn't lead to a date, at which point if it does lead to a date suddenly you're thinking of this person as out of ths ordinary and may be remembered. Maybe a relationship happens which removes you both from the pool for an indeterminate amount of time
Assholes are noticeable, they're memorable, and they're already a few steps in. Then when they do enter a relationship it's likely to be on the shorter end because they just kinda suck, so they go back into the pool faster.
If there are more arseholes than non-arseholes, then the arseholes are the 'normal' people. That's why I stay inside. I'm also trying reconcile with myself the possibility that I'm also an arsehole, just the wrong sort of arsehole.
Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?
By showing that you are actually confident that being consistently pretentious is a good way to showcase this, despite claiming you have no confidence?
By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?
I dunno, I've been around a lot of assholes, constantly contradicting themselves in 'clever' ways is pretty bog standard behavior.
In my case, you're wrong, the guy is like a tank, insecurity is not the case. I see some people trying to "dig deeper":
"maybe the women have insecurities, so it is them who are to blame"
"maybe the asshole is not an asshole, he just has a childhood trauma"
No, he is a confident asshole, and his "charm" works one some women (and not each of them falls into made-up categories). People look for patterns too much. "I'm a red-piller" - lol, that's a first.
Note, I'm not protecting the guy, but he is not a comic-book villain with an origin story. He just happens to be successful in finding one-night stands because of a personal trait.
Edit: forgotten line breaks
When you say things like "some women can't resist assholes" it sounds like red pill rhetoric. A better way to say it might be like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities". Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
When you say things like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities" it's incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.
Like begets like. I've known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.
The amount of tone policing here is fantastic, everyone is finding something problematic about what is being said even though the actual effect is mostly agreed on
Well, to be fair, I don't find anything problematic with saying some women can't resist assholes.
If you were to suggest that all women can't resist assholes, 100% that's red pill garbage. Suggesting that the first statement is red pilled rhetoric is a false correlation, and I'm saying this as someone who is very protective of the women in my family.
That being said, I would also never suggest that some women aren't victims of cycles of abuse. That would be morally reprehensible and delusional, to put it lightly.
Correcting 'some women can't resist assholes' with 'some assholes prey on women's insecurities' doesn't strike you as assuming that these women are all victims?
Ok, sure — I'm not going to debate this any further.
Saying that some people might be susceptible to certain kind of exploitation doesn't imply that all people of that group alhave that issue, or that they're somehow inferior
A better way to say it might be like “some assholes prey on women’s insecurities”. Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
idk I think that's needlessly condescending to women, not all of them dating assholes are victims, some just like assholes because they like asshole behavior because they're also an asshole.
This also takes away agency from people. In fact, I am sure that there would be a way to diagnose every single relationship ever as a form of abuse in which someone takes advantage of someone else's something.
Adults are responsible for their choices, and particularly in the case of "assholes", that is often associated with being assertive, dismissive and some people just like that kind of "I am the main character" features. Maybe there are even some deep rooted evolutionary reasons for that, I don't know.
Anyway, painting anything as victim-oppressor dichotomy IMHO is nonsense.
Many men, and women, and every other kind of human, often mistake confidence and decisiveness ... for competence, reliability, trustworthiness, responsibility.
...
This is by no means totally specific to a sex or gender, it applies broadly, in all kinds of social situations, business relationships, etc, between all kinds of genders and sexes.
This innappropriate or overweighted heuristic tendency also tends to lessen with age, as people gain first hand experience and knowledge that this heruistic, this intuition, this assumption... is actually often not accurate.
...
Anybody with decent charisma, which a huge component of is an above average, but not overwhelming level of outwardly displayed confidence, stands a better chance at convincing most people of basically anything, intentionally or unintentionally.
Lots of overly confident people bulldoze into a situation, legitimately believing they were well equipped to handle it in an ethical way, only later to realize... oh, I am in way over my head, I fucked up.
Lots of overly confident people also just know they are full of shit, and intentionally bulldoze through, and then either gaslight about how they did nothing wrong, or just fucking vanish.
This again works beyond just interpersonal romantic relationships:
For every bonafide grifter con artist (crypto for dudes, cosmetics MLMs for gals), there is a well intentioned new boss or manager who basically accidentally fucks up the entire department out of inexperience and hubris...
And both of those are often aided by their natural, above average levels of confidence and charisma.
But you mirrored both the genders and the way responsibility flows.
Some men and women are assholes who prey on the inexperienced, some men and women are naturally more confident than most, and give others a false impression, mostly or entirely unintentionally.
You don't seem to accept that some people can accidentally lead people on without actually trying to do that, that one person's obvious flirting can be another person's just trying to be friendly, that one person can never explicitly say that 'this is a committed, serious relationship', and another person can hear that anyway.
It's not just preying on their insecurities. Everyone has insecurities, but not everyone will let you into their pants just for calling them a worthless piece of shit or something. The women in question must have some deeper issues. Because I also have a friend who demonstrated to me how you can just go on Tinder and write horrible shit to women and get surprisingly good results.
Nice, I like your style! Also, hello thrifted vest brother
Stopped using social media (other than Lemmy) years ago and I never take photos of myself so these were the only ones I could find right now. Got about 10 vests and so, so much more, all thrifted.
I want someone else to do make up for me but none of my friends know how to do make up ~~~ ): not a single one between the men and women and non binary
Of course girl with a goth profile picture and spiders in her name thinks goth style is hot.
In the meanwhile my bald head and nike sweatpants attract eastern european girls like a lamp with moths. You catch what you fish for.
Lets repopularize costume parties so guys get a chance to try to dress-up
Yeah but isn't that what women do when "going out"? Makup and clothes that create a different look and style?. Maybe call it "persona", like "my social persona is male harajuku" (lol)
Back when I was a young, gay goth, one of my closest friends talked me into going out swapping wardrobes. He was(and still is) very handsome, but he is one of those preppy gay guys.
I hate the fact that our Polaroids of that night got lost. It was such fun, and although I didn't recognize myself in the mirror, it felt amazing, being a different version of myself for a night. And he felt so free, not having to worry about his hair and looks for the night, wearing comfortable, scuffed to hell boots, instead of his traditional suede shoes.
I - a bloke - sometimes paint my nails. If they're still painted when I go to work you can guarantee I'll get a few comments from guys questioning whether they "should be worried" around me*. Meanwhile, the few women who work there think it's wonderful and have offered to do them properly for me.
_
*they needn't be worried. My standards aren't that low
I'm also in England, though in the South, where we're all soft fairies.
And yeah, the response can be annoying, but the way I see it, I'm a gobby, fat, mostly-straight cis guy who's married to a woman, so the abuse I might receive is nothing compared to some others. So if I can go any way at all towards helping to normalise something as benign as painted nails on a straight man, then I will.
Why give so many fucks about style? Who cares what anyone thinks right? Shouldn't we all just dress comfortably and quit worrying about appearances? Focus on what matters? Meaning of course, our personalities and our humanity. People always wanna act like how we appear somehow matters. I hate vanity, which is why I dress plainly, rock a plain haircut, and don't "express" myself through visuals even though I would "get more pussy" if I catered to society's expectations. Instead I let my principles and morals shine through my actions, which actually have an impact on the world.
This depends on the guy. Some can pull it off, others can't. I'm one of those who can't. If I put on make up, I wouldn't look goth, I would look like a serial killer lol
It's not so much about looking "goth" but learning how to augment whatever natural attractiveness you've got and demonstrating a level of self-assuredness and self-awareness. Knowing what works for you is part of that.
"Goth" just happens to be a very bold and somewhat easier style to look decent. A more "nude" look is, counterintuitively, pretty difficult but there's almost no masculine individuals who wouldn't benefit from it.
I have nothing "for men" specifically but there's a million and a half tutorials on how to use primer, concealer and foundation. So long as you don't start doing any contouring it should all be pretty gender agnostic.
People should do what they are comfortable with, but yes, if a guy wants to attract women, this is definitely a way to get what he wants.
I was part of the alternative scene and I also thought the goth-boy aesthetic was very attractive. All the girls did. To me, the most attractive thing a man could do to his appearance was to let his hair grow long. Like past the shoulders long.
Didn't have to put on make up and jewelry. Just have long hair and you could be fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. Didn't fucking matter. I'd look. If Henry Cavill walked down the street next to a nerdy guy with long hair, I would look at the nerd everytime. If he wore band t-shirts and military boots, it was game over. Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn't talk to a girl. I have experienced both. The latter was a full date where the guy didn't say a word to me once and I was the one who had walked 20 km to get to his place because he had social anxiety and couldn't leave his home. Poor guy. I hope he's doing better today.
Yeah, if it gets to the point where the hair starts thinning that intensely, it's better to just shave it off and bald is pretty awesome too! Don't get me wrong.
I was more so speaking from the vantage point of me and several of my female friends when we were teenagers and early 20s women. I'm neck deep into my 30s atm and at this point, looks matters very little. My boyfriend has very short hair and hasn't worn band shirts for almost two decades but he's still a total snack to me.
Yeah. People like to be victims. It gives you a out of jail free card to not work on yourself if the world is against you. Doesn't matter how true or false that is. If you want to find an excuse to not try and to victimize yourself at the same time, there is no limit.
There is sort of a sad poetic irony to the guys who value money and looks over anything substantial because they will spend all their time and energy on appearing rich and alpha and then they will bitch and moan when they can't find a girl who loves them for them.
And saddest of all: they literally can't see that all the things they hate women for are their very own values in life, projected onto the opposite sex.
Where are you from? :D I'm Danish and here, being a long haired guy with band t-shirts mostly translates to "dude probably works in tech and is a massive nerd"
Am as described, (well, part of my hair is long, the middle. Sides not so much), wear band shirts (punk/metal mostly), and pull out the boots in the winter myself, buuuuuut
Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn't talk to a girl.
100% I'd miss whatever sly little hints you're throwing, and even if I noticed them I'd think you're surely just being nice and there's no way you're into me.
I'd imagine I'm far from the only one, not talking at all on the date or being able to leave home is a little far lol, but don't write us off just because we are a little awkward or would rather miss signals than make someone feel uncomfortable being hit on in public! I mean hell, why do you think we have long hair and like metal/punk? It's often partially because we're a little socially awkward/anxious, and that community is very understanding of it!
My friend, I am not remotely the sly hinty type. I am an elephant in a china shop if I decide to pursue a guy.
At the same time, I am the queen of obliviousness if a guy I deeply respect and like shows me any form of romantic attention, because I don't believe that someone that amazing could ever like someone like me. Took my boyfriend a few months of sending literal love letters with romantic quotes and pressed flowers, a few visits to my apartment where we would just hang out and get to know each other and him telling me bluntly to my face after a few months that he had a crush on me before the hamster wheel started spinning in my head. The effort he put in to get to know me and to woo me was completely fucking alien to me because most of my romantic endeavors in the past had been me pulling teeth. So, I totally get the concept of being dumb as a brick when somebody likes you.
but don’t write us off just because we are a little awkward
My guy. I'm not talking about a "little" awkward. The example I gave was of a guy with debilitating social anxiety. When I said "so shy and awkward he couldn't talk to a girl" I mean it literally. He did not talk to me. He barely looked at me. I walked 20 km to see him at his place (which is pretty fucking stupid, but very gracious of a then 17 year old girl who just wanted this random guy she had never met, to feel comfortable) and I sat there and held a one-sided conversation afloat for at least an hour while he was a potato across from me. He was not a bad guy, he just could not talk to a girl. Probably never had talked to a girl until I came by. I gave up eventually and walked all the way back. 20 km.
I have never written a guy off for being a little awkward. Ever. What I did do was to often put my own comforts, needs and emotional well being on hold for guys who didn't bother to give anything back at all. I have dated shy, awkward and mentally ill guys. They weren't great to me. At all. I did all the work all the time and if I ever asked for a crumb of affection I had to deal with tantrums about how they had social anxiety or depression or something else so my comforts didn't matter because they had it worse and they came first and I had to be more mindful and patient with them.
Being a little shy and awkward is fine. I don't mind that at all. I mind it when it becomes what defines a person and they feel entitled to make their issue someone else's responsibility to carry for them.
Relationships are a two way street. You can be shy and awkward and even have social anxiety, but that is not up to a potential partner to fix or accommodate for you at the expense of their own mental and physical health. That is your burden to bear. In dating you cannot sit in silence and let the other person do all the work for you and then get offended if they move on from you. If you give them nothing, they won't stick around. Even a doormat like me ended up not wanting to deal with that bs anymore and I was lucky enough to end up with someone who understands that you need to earn the other person's affection and loyalty. It is not owed to you.
Ah yes, the leather daddy BDSM iconic gay "look" that these totally hetero men who go on long trips together to scenic areas without women, and with vibrations the whole way to excite the twig and berries, and a nice massage to relax the rear end.
Bigger stretch than professional wrestling, but not much.
God fearing, homosexual hating trailer park kids don't realize that watching two oiled up men in spandex is.... well, pretty fucking gay. Not meant to be disparaging, I just mean the only things missing are penetration and a money shot.
I was in Atlanta for the 2000 New Years celebration and I randomly bought a red and yellow zoot suit to wear, with matching shoes. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE gotten more attention from women than that night.
bro I'm talking about queer-stomping throw Matt Shepard into the fence and kill him, country. the only way that's going is to a bad time. I like your idea, I'm just not trying it here
Nah, explanations make you the weirdo, embracing the weird makes you a local legend. Build a pyramid around your mailbox. Get a hairless cat. Learn your favored Egyptian (coptic is discouraged as it looks Greek and outlasted the pharonic age).
Ah the full Pharoah works best there or in a smallish city. You just become the local Pharoah. Just gotta learn to say stuff like "kꜣn.f ḥm.t" when people ask questions
The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.”
I also stopped giving a fuck what people think. It's kind of nice. I also like being different. I like kilts too, most of the ones I see are designed to be worn at the waist which I don't really like. Most skirts are too but they're usually more flexible so I can wear them at the hips. I'm glad you have people who support and encourage you. I think my mom and sister are getting used to my personal style.
I mean, it maybe wasn't gay, but was definitely a reference to something hellish, depraved, opposed to common morality, weak, like that.
Because back then it clearly meant protest against authority, against hierarchy, against stereotypic masculinity, against war, against evil covered by normalcy.
In some sense it's an intentional show of vulnerability, that look.
And I'd take that over Kipelov in Russia every day, that moron who doesn't fucking understand what rock music is.
I don’t know if I’ve got a big enough sample size, but the only guys I know who wear black nail polish are creepy Marilyn Manson types who mainly get laid with girls they met in their therapist’s waiting room
I have sex on drugs with crazy hot women pretty regularly! It feels great and is certainly maximizing pleasure and euphoria. There are downsides of a less stable life, unhealthy relationships, but the lack of boredom makes up for it.
There's warnings about using credit cards too. Just because people warn you about it, that doesn't mean that it's always a bad thing. Use your better judgement to know when to go for it.
It's not a bad look, but it also isn't helping you out. You'll need to work with your body, facial attractiveness, and personality - which can do a lot. But not improving how you dress (not necessarily as a goth, but in some way that makes you look good and expresses yourself in a way that others understand) will leave a lot on the table.
Well with a beard and a second layer like a jacket I can pull off the "yes chad" look pretty easy even if it is an illusion, personality wise I'm a pretty shy guy that would rather pet a dog at a party than approach anyone but still capable of having proper conversations with random people though I have pulled an irish goodbye during one on one conversations at the end
it's one of the only things I got going for me so of course I try to keep it looking nice and always get it taking care of when I get a nice hair cut the only other thing is if I happen to find woman into fat butts though I'd hope it was only for show
May I preach the good word of bicycles? Big butts are great but you can make it not only muscular but also giant /hj
But yeah I only mention conditioner out of sympathy for my hetero sisters. Back in my beardy days it was a novelty where I was to condition it, which meant I had women asking to play with my beard because of how soft it was and complaining that their boyfriends' were uncomfortable to touch.
It's so close to your hair it's hard to imagine it's uncommon
Never thought about it affecting my butt but biking is probably the only reason I have any visable muscle, can't say I want a bigger butt but I'm not about to turn down an advantage
Oh and just so the info is out there a metal lice comb works great to soften a beard if you can't was right away plus there cand be a lot of other stuff stuck in a beard
Internalized homophobia is a hell of a thing to overcome. Some guys think those things are gay because that's what they were told by figures of authority.
I’m too old, out of shape, bald, and too much gray hair to pull off goth. Though somewhere out in the universe is a photo of an 18-yo me dressed as Frank from RHPS. Make-up, died hair, fishnets… the whole nine.
As others have said - this is not really how to get girls to be into you. This is one particular person's fetish. They like goth-y, androgenous guys.
If you are a goth-y, androgenous guy, and you have wanted to wear black eyeliner but felt nervous about it and have been putting it off - here's your cue. Go do that.
If you aren't, then don't do that. It might help you out a little since, as OP implies, it will make you stand out. But since you aren't presenting yourself, but rather a charicature of someone else, you will feel inauthentic in the look, women will notice that you feel weird, and you won't be much better off than you started. Maybe worse off, if your normal outfit was already working.
In the... Let's call it the "autistic guys getting laid community", there is a lot of chatter around "archetype". How you dress and style yourself is a conscious decision you make every day, and it is how you make your first impression on any women you want to sleep with. So if you were to introduce yourself to a sexy somebody, what would you want to tell them about yourself? Well, first you need to tell them that you give enough of a shit about what you look like to put some time into looking good. Next, you'd want to tell them interesting things about yourself - what you value, what your job or hobbies are, what communities you are part of. But at the same time, you want to make sure you are communicating well - putting together an outfit based on "I just like it" and "this has something to do with who I am" is like introducing yourself in mandarin to a girl in Barcelona. Fitting your outfit to something that is immediately understandable within your broader culture is called dressing to your "archetype". Are you a skateboarder? Then dress like a skateboarder - stylishly ripped jeans, t shirt, flannel, beanie. A businessman? Wear a suit or a polo. A communist revolutionary? Rock your Che beret!
What makes women universally cream themselves? Say it with me: confidence. And a confident man is going to dress in a way that stands out and expresses who he is, because he knows that this is a great way to attract others to him who are similar. So: look good; look different; look like something identifiable.
Sorry brochacho - my archetype does some basic skin care and then hits the gym. Cause I'm a big, strong manly man who don't want no makeup. I'm sure somebody else here has makeup tips for you, though!
Oh my, you sound like somebody who needs a nice manly kilt to run around in! Don't be fooled the bagpipe is actually an optional accessory, you may instead have a ceremonial dagger.
I still wear dark clothing outside of work, but I'm too old to be digging out the makeup these days. People really don't respect the time it takes, especially if you can't wear it in a professional environment.
I'd be more interested in painting my claws if it didn't manage to smell so. Considring you're literally smearing it on your body to sit for several weeks, you'd think they'd have developed less toxic formulas that don't smell like you tipped over the entire Tamiya display at the hobby shop.
Nail polish typically uses acetone as its solvent, and despite smelling, acetone is something that humans naturally have low levels of in their blood, so slightly higher levels are pretty safe. Obviously, having exposure to large quantities is bad, but that isn't how nail polish is typically used.
My fingertips get weirdly sweaty whenever I wear nail polish. I joke it's my toxic masculinity leaking out, but really I just don't want to emphasize my toe thumbs. It's way more fun to show them when people don't even notice them.
Can you imagine just walking around in modern society looking dolled up like a member of Poison? I'm sure they didn't even go around like that every day.
Could probably get lots of dick too. I yanked it to the Poison album cover for about a year before I learned that they were dudes, and then like maybe three more months
Those guys are cool and some of us men can not be like them. However, saying there is nothing sexy about wearing Nike is wrong. Nike does look good in certain situations. At a nice rap concert or at a party where people don't want to dress too edgy. Don't knock Nike. It's still cool even if some of you don't like it.
I had a goth friend who would always get laid without much trouble. At some point he got a normal job and had to "become a normie", and I learned that it wasn't because he was a goth, it was because he was a complete asshole with women, and some women, for some reason, can't resist assholes.
Being an asshole implies confidence.
Women like confidence.
Inexperience and young girls mistake being a dick with confidence
Also, young people often are bad at determining how impressive someone is so they go off the social cues of just believing that they're acting genuinely in line with their status. This means someone moderately attractive treating 21 year olds like they're just barely worth their time can often get anything from sex to unpaid overtime if they sell it well and are indiscriminately fishing.
Most people grow out of it, but some don't. Then there's also that the pool isn't a representative sample of the population. The mature and discriminate are easy to miss (they filter heavily), more likely to leave low investment pools like tinder because the effort/value proposition is bad, and when they leave because of relationships will take longer to return to the pool. It's not that all the good ones are taken, its that most of the bad ones are looking.
Alright alright alright
Certain women like asshole confidence. Typically the type to write "I'm a bitch, deal with it" in their bios
I've known many women who were very nice and intelligent, who dated assholes. Usually they end the relationship thinking "ugh, why did I do that? That guy was such an asshole."
They do this because women are human, and do the very human thing of making mistakes and regretting them.
sometimes you dont realise theyre an asshole until youre already a year plus deep
Yeah, new relationship energy will fucking get you sometimes
yeah im still feeling the repercussions of the one i went through 5 years after it ended
Big if true
I find that spanning inferential distances is typically best accomplished by starting from obvious facts. When you say something that sounds dumb because it is so obvious, you've found a good starting point for creating shared understanding.
Bad/terrible people can be hot. In fact, often when people are hot they feel more free to be their natural asshole selves because they can get away with it more. This applies to both men and women in all directions.
In fact, some people want their partner to be mean to them, its more often hetero women who like that. If a guy can be mean and get away with it, that implies they're hot shit, extremely confident, rich, and/or powerful. Those are attractive features in a guy.
There are also hetero men who want women to be mean to them, especially in the bedroom.
I can find no fault with anything you just said. Except maybe that having a thing for being abused spans all genders and sexual identities.
The women that like arseholes, believe it or not, are also probably arseholes.
I wonder if there are more assholes than normal people, so that it only seems that assholes are more successful in dating because there are simply more of them.
It can work by sampling biases. Let's say you have a hundred marbles, 99 blue, 1 orange, each has a number on it. Each day you pull out 5, if it's blue you roll a d20 and on a 20 you keep it out for 1d20 turns. If it's orange you put it back without rolling, but you have to do a push up.
It will feel like there's way more orange than any individual blue. Why? The orange is more noticeable at a glance, it changes the interaction from routine, and the blue marbles have a chance to leave the bag for a few turns and so once it's gotten going the bag often has more than 1% orange in it.
The default on tinder is swipe, no match, but if match no conversation, but if conversation it goes nowhere, but if it goes somewhere it doesn't lead to a date, at which point if it does lead to a date suddenly you're thinking of this person as out of ths ordinary and may be remembered. Maybe a relationship happens which removes you both from the pool for an indeterminate amount of time
Assholes are noticeable, they're memorable, and they're already a few steps in. Then when they do enter a relationship it's likely to be on the shorter end because they just kinda suck, so they go back into the pool faster.
If there are more arseholes than non-arseholes, then the arseholes are the 'normal' people. That's why I stay inside. I'm also trying reconcile with myself the possibility that I'm also an arsehole, just the wrong sort of arsehole.
Damn I need to power off. I'm like how does anyone write in their BIOS? I'm pretty sure it's just settings. 😅
It's not that hard, the trick is using your computer after.
Aren’t all operating systems bi(nary)?
/s don’t @me about ternary computers
Edit: actually do @me about ternary computers, I looked them up and they’re cool as shit
LOL
Look at coreboot. You can flash your bios with open source software!
No. Hi. Asshole here; zero confidence.
Well I'd ask you to prove you're an asshole, but apparently you don't believe you could?
=P
No, inverse; i think it's self evident.
Perhaps ironically, this is pretentious enough to convince me that you may indeed be an asshole.
Task failed successfully?
Or im just communicating on a deeper level than you.
Deeply communicating that you are an asshole, by continuing to be pretentious?
By showing that you are actually confident that being consistently pretentious is a good way to showcase this, despite claiming you have no confidence?
By disproving that your asshole status is self-evident, by showcasing that it actually requires a sustained interaction to demonstrate this?
I dunno, I've been around a lot of assholes, constantly contradicting themselves in 'clever' ways is pretty bog standard behavior.
nope. it implies a craven amount of insecurity.
it says something though that so many people assume this, it's certainly not just you.
Whatever. It gives off the impression of confidence. We're trying to explain observed phenomena here, not cast moral judgements.
In my case, you're wrong, the guy is like a tank, insecurity is not the case. I see some people trying to "dig deeper":
No, he is a confident asshole, and his "charm" works one some women (and not each of them falls into made-up categories). People look for patterns too much. "I'm a red-piller" - lol, that's a first.
Note, I'm not protecting the guy, but he is not a comic-book villain with an origin story. He just happens to be successful in finding one-night stands because of a personal trait.
Edit: forgotten line breaks
a lot of people who over-invest on physical attributes have serious insecurities.
I hold to my premise. it in no way discredits him being an asshole in his coping with these issues.
Not strong like a tank, I meant by attitude. Ok, you invent whatever person you want in your head.
When you say things like "some women can't resist assholes" it sounds like red pill rhetoric. A better way to say it might be like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities". Keep the focus on the person who is the problem, not the victims.
When you say things like "some assholes prey on women's insecurities" it's incredibly condescending, especially when you consider that women can also be assholes.
Like begets like. I've known too many couples where both of the people in the relationship are trash.
The amount of tone policing here is fantastic, everyone is finding something problematic about what is being said even though the actual effect is mostly agreed on
Well, to be fair, I don't find anything problematic with saying some women can't resist assholes.
If you were to suggest that all women can't resist assholes, 100% that's red pill garbage. Suggesting that the first statement is red pilled rhetoric is a false correlation, and I'm saying this as someone who is very protective of the women in my family.
That being said, I would also never suggest that some women aren't victims of cycles of abuse. That would be morally reprehensible and delusional, to put it lightly.
Anyone can be a victim, condescension has nothing to do with that.
And anyone can be an asshole, assuming that all women are simply victims is 100% condescending towards women.
That wasn't stated
Correcting 'some women can't resist assholes' with 'some assholes prey on women's insecurities' doesn't strike you as assuming that these women are all victims?
Ok, sure — I'm not going to debate this any further.
Nowhere it was stated that ALL women are victims.
Saying that some people might be susceptible to certain kind of exploitation doesn't imply that all people of that group alhave that issue, or that they're somehow inferior
idk I think that's needlessly condescending to women, not all of them dating assholes are victims, some just like assholes because they like asshole behavior because they're also an asshole.
This also takes away agency from people. In fact, I am sure that there would be a way to diagnose every single relationship ever as a form of abuse in which someone takes advantage of someone else's something.
Adults are responsible for their choices, and particularly in the case of "assholes", that is often associated with being assertive, dismissive and some people just like that kind of "I am the main character" features. Maybe there are even some deep rooted evolutionary reasons for that, I don't know. Anyway, painting anything as victim-oppressor dichotomy IMHO is nonsense.
I keep the focus where I want, that doesn't change the asshole-victim situation, and I won't save anyone if I change the wording.
Obviously you can do what you want, you have free will.
How about:
Many men, and women, and every other kind of human, often mistake confidence and decisiveness ... for competence, reliability, trustworthiness, responsibility.
...
This is by no means totally specific to a sex or gender, it applies broadly, in all kinds of social situations, business relationships, etc, between all kinds of genders and sexes.
This innappropriate or overweighted heuristic tendency also tends to lessen with age, as people gain first hand experience and knowledge that this heruistic, this intuition, this assumption... is actually often not accurate.
...
Anybody with decent charisma, which a huge component of is an above average, but not overwhelming level of outwardly displayed confidence, stands a better chance at convincing most people of basically anything, intentionally or unintentionally.
Lots of overly confident people bulldoze into a situation, legitimately believing they were well equipped to handle it in an ethical way, only later to realize... oh, I am in way over my head, I fucked up.
Lots of overly confident people also just know they are full of shit, and intentionally bulldoze through, and then either gaslight about how they did nothing wrong, or just fucking vanish.
This again works beyond just interpersonal romantic relationships:
For every bonafide grifter con artist (crypto for dudes, cosmetics MLMs for gals), there is a well intentioned new boss or manager who basically accidentally fucks up the entire department out of inexperience and hubris...
And both of those are often aided by their natural, above average levels of confidence and charisma.
I'm fine saying "many people prey on other people's insecurities." I am not "making this about gender." I was mirroring the genders I was replying to.
But you mirrored both the genders and the way responsibility flows.
Some men and women are assholes who prey on the inexperienced, some men and women are naturally more confident than most, and give others a false impression, mostly or entirely unintentionally.
You don't seem to accept that some people can accidentally lead people on without actually trying to do that, that one person's obvious flirting can be another person's just trying to be friendly, that one person can never explicitly say that 'this is a committed, serious relationship', and another person can hear that anyway.
If you think I'm mirroring everything the other person said, why are you criticizing my words instead of theirs?
It's not just preying on their insecurities. Everyone has insecurities, but not everyone will let you into their pants just for calling them a worthless piece of shit or something. The women in question must have some deeper issues. Because I also have a friend who demonstrated to me how you can just go on Tinder and write horrible shit to women and get surprisingly good results.
That's just a loop like how people ask which came first.. hen or egg
It's not entirely unjustified or wrong though. Women are awful.
💀
Why are all women awful?
How is this any better than saying all men are trash? How do you not see the hypocrisy?
I can tell from personal experience. It's not hypocritical.
Can confirm.
I've let several women do my make up and they're always super enthusiastic that I'm down for that.
It's SO hot. A man in touch with that side of himself is sexxxxxxxy.
Top half, even the watch, all women's clothes from the thrift.
DELISH.
Looking good! I’d have no idea.
Nice, I like your style! Also, hello thrifted vest brother
Stopped using social media (other than Lemmy) years ago and I never take photos of myself so these were the only ones I could find right now. Got about 10 vests and so, so much more, all thrifted.
I sometimes put a pink ribbon around my dick.
Is that also sexy?
I want someone else to do make up for me but none of my friends know how to do make up ~~~ ): not a single one between the men and women and non binary
It's hard to learn but with some practice it's not that bad
Of course girl with a goth profile picture and spiders in her name thinks goth style is hot.
In the meanwhile my bald head and nike sweatpants attract eastern european girls like a lamp with moths. You catch what you fish for.
Imagine if you wore a full track suit
That's only for ceremonies
Try to complete your Gopnik style with a few items more.
You'd become unstoppable if you started walking while slav squatting.
Prince will steal your girl, then steal her clothes, then steal someone else's girl in those clothes
So, Ricky Nightshade?
I'm trying to get back to rectangle, I passed on to deflated beachball...
It could be worse, you could be me, an inflated beachball on a stick.
Yeah but isn't that what women do when "going out"? Makup and clothes that create a different look and style?. Maybe call it "persona", like "my social persona is male harajuku" (lol)
Back when I was a young, gay goth, one of my closest friends talked me into going out swapping wardrobes. He was(and still is) very handsome, but he is one of those preppy gay guys.
I hate the fact that our Polaroids of that night got lost. It was such fun, and although I didn't recognize myself in the mirror, it felt amazing, being a different version of myself for a night. And he felt so free, not having to worry about his hair and looks for the night, wearing comfortable, scuffed to hell boots, instead of his traditional suede shoes.
Yeah, you can't wear the same thing every single day unless it blends in with everybody else.
YES.
Jeffrey! This better not awaken anything in me.
You look at Jeff in that ep and tell me you wouldn't and i'll call you a filthy liar
bi_irl
I - a bloke - sometimes paint my nails. If they're still painted when I go to work you can guarantee I'll get a few comments from guys questioning whether they "should be worried" around me*. Meanwhile, the few women who work there think it's wonderful and have offered to do them properly for me. _ *they needn't be worried. My standards aren't that low
When guys ask if they should be worried around you, do they expect women to be worried around them?
Yes. And women should be worried around them.
I'd be outright ostracised, casted out, spat on if I showed up with painted nails/eye shadow to work here in England
I'm also in England, though in the South, where we're all soft fairies.
And yeah, the response can be annoying, but the way I see it, I'm a gobby, fat, mostly-straight cis guy who's married to a woman, so the abuse I might receive is nothing compared to some others. So if I can go any way at all towards helping to normalise something as benign as painted nails on a straight man, then I will.
Why give so many fucks about style? Who cares what anyone thinks right? Shouldn't we all just dress comfortably and quit worrying about appearances? Focus on what matters? Meaning of course, our personalities and our humanity. People always wanna act like how we appear somehow matters. I hate vanity, which is why I dress plainly, rock a plain haircut, and don't "express" myself through visuals even though I would "get more pussy" if I catered to society's expectations. Instead I let my principles and morals shine through my actions, which actually have an impact on the world.
Way to share your kink, sis. Mines biting people with brains. Everyone’s unique.
kinky...
It's concerning that you had to clarify with brains
Well I like to bite. And I like smart people. Maybe I am a zombie lmao.
It's the only kink I have. Nikki Sixx is clearly not a great person, but put him in some high heels and eye blacking, and I'll drop trou.
I love it. Metalheads get me with their long hair at times.
I'm a sucker for Nike outfits
This depends on the guy. Some can pull it off, others can't. I'm one of those who can't. If I put on make up, I wouldn't look goth, I would look like a serial killer lol
It's not so much about looking "goth" but learning how to augment whatever natural attractiveness you've got and demonstrating a level of self-assuredness and self-awareness. Knowing what works for you is part of that.
"Goth" just happens to be a very bold and somewhat easier style to look decent. A more "nude" look is, counterintuitively, pretty difficult but there's almost no masculine individuals who wouldn't benefit from it.
That's very well put.
Does anyone have resources they'd like to share to that end? For absolute beginners for very subtle men's makeup.
I have nothing "for men" specifically but there's a million and a half tutorials on how to use primer, concealer and foundation. So long as you don't start doing any contouring it should all be pretty gender agnostic.
Embrace that look and go juggalo!
What is a juggalo?
Let me think for a second....
Oh, he gets butt nekkid.
Been winking at the freaks all day and nothing happened.
You're missing the 2 litre where it counts, fam.
Everybody sing!
The number 3 cultural export of Michigan
I've met some very pretty serial killers. You do not look that good. Sorry.
"Why so serious?"
People should do what they are comfortable with, but yes, if a guy wants to attract women, this is definitely a way to get what he wants.
I was part of the alternative scene and I also thought the goth-boy aesthetic was very attractive. All the girls did. To me, the most attractive thing a man could do to his appearance was to let his hair grow long. Like past the shoulders long.
Didn't have to put on make up and jewelry. Just have long hair and you could be fat or skinny, pretty or ugly. Didn't fucking matter. I'd look. If Henry Cavill walked down the street next to a nerdy guy with long hair, I would look at the nerd everytime. If he wore band t-shirts and military boots, it was game over. Only way a guy could fuck it up for himself with me was if he started the nice guy routine or was so socially awkward he couldn't talk to a girl. I have experienced both. The latter was a full date where the guy didn't say a word to me once and I was the one who had walked 20 km to get to his place because he had social anxiety and couldn't leave his home. Poor guy. I hope he's doing better today.
Yeah, if it gets to the point where the hair starts thinning that intensely, it's better to just shave it off and bald is pretty awesome too! Don't get me wrong. I was more so speaking from the vantage point of me and several of my female friends when we were teenagers and early 20s women. I'm neck deep into my 30s atm and at this point, looks matters very little. My boyfriend has very short hair and hasn't worn band shirts for almost two decades but he's still a total snack to me.
Yeah. People like to be victims. It gives you a out of jail free card to not work on yourself if the world is against you. Doesn't matter how true or false that is. If you want to find an excuse to not try and to victimize yourself at the same time, there is no limit.
There is sort of a sad poetic irony to the guys who value money and looks over anything substantial because they will spend all their time and energy on appearing rich and alpha and then they will bitch and moan when they can't find a girl who loves them for them.
And saddest of all: they literally can't see that all the things they hate women for are their very own values in life, projected onto the opposite sex.
Interesting input.
I guess it's a cultural thing, over here you'd instantly get labeled a social outcast or a gangster.
Where are you from? :D I'm Danish and here, being a long haired guy with band t-shirts mostly translates to "dude probably works in tech and is a massive nerd"
Am as described, (well, part of my hair is long, the middle. Sides not so much), wear band shirts (punk/metal mostly), and pull out the boots in the winter myself, buuuuuut
100% I'd miss whatever sly little hints you're throwing, and even if I noticed them I'd think you're surely just being nice and there's no way you're into me.
I'd imagine I'm far from the only one, not talking at all on the date or being able to leave home is a little far lol, but don't write us off just because we are a little awkward or would rather miss signals than make someone feel uncomfortable being hit on in public! I mean hell, why do you think we have long hair and like metal/punk? It's often partially because we're a little socially awkward/anxious, and that community is very understanding of it!
My friend, I am not remotely the sly hinty type. I am an elephant in a china shop if I decide to pursue a guy.
At the same time, I am the queen of obliviousness if a guy I deeply respect and like shows me any form of romantic attention, because I don't believe that someone that amazing could ever like someone like me. Took my boyfriend a few months of sending literal love letters with romantic quotes and pressed flowers, a few visits to my apartment where we would just hang out and get to know each other and him telling me bluntly to my face after a few months that he had a crush on me before the hamster wheel started spinning in my head. The effort he put in to get to know me and to woo me was completely fucking alien to me because most of my romantic endeavors in the past had been me pulling teeth. So, I totally get the concept of being dumb as a brick when somebody likes you.
My guy. I'm not talking about a "little" awkward. The example I gave was of a guy with debilitating social anxiety. When I said "so shy and awkward he couldn't talk to a girl" I mean it literally. He did not talk to me. He barely looked at me. I walked 20 km to see him at his place (which is pretty fucking stupid, but very gracious of a then 17 year old girl who just wanted this random guy she had never met, to feel comfortable) and I sat there and held a one-sided conversation afloat for at least an hour while he was a potato across from me. He was not a bad guy, he just could not talk to a girl. Probably never had talked to a girl until I came by. I gave up eventually and walked all the way back. 20 km.
I have never written a guy off for being a little awkward. Ever. What I did do was to often put my own comforts, needs and emotional well being on hold for guys who didn't bother to give anything back at all. I have dated shy, awkward and mentally ill guys. They weren't great to me. At all. I did all the work all the time and if I ever asked for a crumb of affection I had to deal with tantrums about how they had social anxiety or depression or something else so my comforts didn't matter because they had it worse and they came first and I had to be more mindful and patient with them.
Being a little shy and awkward is fine. I don't mind that at all. I mind it when it becomes what defines a person and they feel entitled to make their issue someone else's responsibility to carry for them.
Relationships are a two way street. You can be shy and awkward and even have social anxiety, but that is not up to a potential partner to fix or accommodate for you at the expense of their own mental and physical health. That is your burden to bear. In dating you cannot sit in silence and let the other person do all the work for you and then get offended if they move on from you. If you give them nothing, they won't stick around. Even a doormat like me ended up not wanting to deal with that bs anymore and I was lucky enough to end up with someone who understands that you need to earn the other person's affection and loyalty. It is not owed to you.
We're not so different, you and I.
Nah, but the Harley biker is certainly a gay look
thank rob halford for bringing that look to the masses
Metal is my religion,
And Judas is my Priest.
Ah yes, the leather daddy BDSM iconic gay "look" that these totally hetero men who go on long trips together to scenic areas without women, and with vibrations the whole way to excite the twig and berries, and a nice massage to relax the rear end.
Bigger stretch than professional wrestling, but not much.
God fearing, homosexual hating trailer park kids don't realize that watching two oiled up men in spandex is.... well, pretty fucking gay. Not meant to be disparaging, I just mean the only things missing are penetration and a money shot.
the money shot is when they get color aka bleed. then it gets exciting
I don't know where I heard it but I think the sound of a Harley V-twin engine sounds a lot like a throaty man voice shouting
BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER LOOK HOW GAY I'M NOT BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER BROTHER
On second thought I think I heard it from a canadian redneck madman on youtube. ZipTies&BiasPlies
wasnt that a joke on south park? or did they do a different joke making fun of the same thing?
Very similar joke for sure, maybe I combined the two in my head
Do you have any idea how much pussy you can get wearing this shit?
I'd say an average of two divorced house wives, one assistant school teacher, one confused undergrad and half a random barrista per year.
Which half of the barista do you get
Just the ass
I'm fine with that
Killin it
Well, that’s not exactly nothing, though it may not be the something you want.
Can confirm.
Well minus the ring. Can’t even imagine dusting that off again.
It really does increase the number of people that flirt with you, because it's "safe" to flirt with you.
I took mine off recently and there's this air of "Oh you're single, nevermind."
You should wear two wedding rings, it'll double your number of flirts plus you'll seem open to polygamy.
Ok so iow: Dad gear + wedding band = money Dad gear - wedding band = divorced and poor
I need to start wearing this spare wedding ring I have out places then (I think it was my dad's lol).
Me: *Asks out the degenerate homewrecker who thinks she's flirting with a married man.*
Her: "But aren't you married?"
Me: "No why?"
Her: *Points to ring*
Me: "Oh this? I just think it's neat! Makes me feel like a Hobbit."
Eyes on your own work there super chief.
McMurray’s a piece of shit
My life is a series of unintentional Letterkenny references
I should probably watch it at this point
Pitter patter!
Every single McMurray is a hawtie. That one scene with him in his speedo got me swooning.
Where's my pants preacher?
Guys: I want a goth girl with big boobs
Also guys: ew goth. GAY!
They just love goths.
Female goths: double attractive
Male goths: questions sexuality
What about enby goths?
I DO COCAINE!
been low key wanting to do Egyptian pharaoh shit for years but I work blue collar in hick country and don't dare until I can move out of the states
I was in Atlanta for the 2000 New Years celebration and I randomly bought a red and yellow zoot suit to wear, with matching shoes. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE gotten more attention from women than that night.
bawler as hell tbh
"bawler"?
Bawler is to baller as dawg is to dog.
Touché. I'll accept it.
Did you have a riot? Did you throw back a bottle of beer?
Well, there's two ways that could go. You could be 'that we>rdo, mike i think' or 'pharoah mike'.
Build a mythology about why. Tie it into local values. You lost a bet and then liked it?
bro I'm talking about queer-stomping throw Matt Shepard into the fence and kill him, country. the only way that's going is to a bad time. I like your idea, I'm just not trying it here
It is a risk, and i dont know if youve got the privilege to shield you, it's true.
unfortunately no. I'm already on thin ice for being autistic, that's basically 2 degrees removed from a gay but with shiftier eyes.
but I like the pharaoh Mike thing. pray that I get out of here and get to try it 🙏
Oh shit. Yeah. Didn't used to be, but...
Nah, explanations make you the weirdo, embracing the weird makes you a local legend. Build a pyramid around your mailbox. Get a hairless cat. Learn your favored Egyptian (coptic is discouraged as it looks Greek and outlasted the pharonic age).
Generally agree, but refuge in audacity is a harder sell if someone's faltering.
You should start practicing for when you can, 'cause doing liner is hard! Also, you gotta figure out what works on your face. My point is, try.
good point ☝️
Ah the full Pharoah works best there or in a smallish city. You just become the local Pharoah. Just gotta learn to say stuff like "kꜣn.f ḥm.t" when people ask questions
The Danes, thanks to their habit to comb their hair every day, to bathe every Saturday, to change their garments often, and set off their persons by many such frivolous devices. In this manner, they laid siege to the virtue of the married women, and persuaded the daughters even of the nobles to be their concubines.”
Nike dudes even starting to get the monk haircut.
It's not gay, I'm just not goth. Also you can get quite far by not being a twat and knowing when to roll your sleeves up.
You mean because you’re in Dexy’s Midnight Runners?
No, Ive never met Eileen, let alone cum on her...
Rolling up your shirt sleeves (as shown in fig 1) is a known panty pickler:
fig 1 - dude about to get some
I don't pretend to know why, but it works.
Offset by a nice (from a fashion sense, not cost) watch? My wife would be drooling lol.
Now if only I had Chris Hemsworth's Thor physique to go with it.
Same here. I prefer looking all bright and happy on the outside to hide the darkness on the inside!
Ohhh, that's the reason why The Sandman always looked so tired and kinda damp all the time... He was nearly drowning. 🤌🏼
("Second verse...")
I wear black nail polish and skirts and still get zero pussy.
Same. Must be because I'm a woman, smh.
I would think it would be easier, that being the case.
Nah plenty of women are into other women who dress like that. My SO for example.
I also stopped giving a fuck what people think. It's kind of nice. I also like being different. I like kilts too, most of the ones I see are designed to be worn at the waist which I don't really like. Most skirts are too but they're usually more flexible so I can wear them at the hips. I'm glad you have people who support and encourage you. I think my mom and sister are getting used to my personal style.
Fuck yeah. I need to go kilt shopping now.
That is quite fancy. Fuck yeah man. It would go great with a pocket watch if you like those.
Okay, but how much dick do you get?
3"
Only dick I like is my own
Jesus fucking himself christ, that’s horrific
quietly laughing to death
not what i meant
I mean, it maybe wasn't gay, but was definitely a reference to something hellish, depraved, opposed to common morality, weak, like that.
Because back then it clearly meant protest against authority, against hierarchy, against stereotypic masculinity, against war, against evil covered by normalcy.
In some sense it's an intentional show of vulnerability, that look.
And I'd take that over Kipelov in Russia every day, that moron who doesn't fucking understand what rock music is.
Early 00s were a great time. I rocked those painted nails and eyeliner 🤘 along with the baggy jeans, chains and spikes
Nowadays all I dress in is luminous shorts and anxiety 🤘
I don’t know if I’ve got a big enough sample size, but the only guys I know who wear black nail polish are creepy Marilyn Manson types who mainly get laid with girls they met in their therapist’s waiting room
Laid is laid. Also the crazy ones are objectively hotter.
I recall there being a warning about crazy
They also warn you about drugs. But drugs are awesome!
I have sex on drugs with crazy hot women pretty regularly! It feels great and is certainly maximizing pleasure and euphoria. There are downsides of a less stable life, unhealthy relationships, but the lack of boredom makes up for it.
True but, they're undeniably great in bed.
trick is to just be crazier
There's warnings about using credit cards too. Just because people warn you about it, that doesn't mean that it's always a bad thing. Use your better judgement to know when to go for it.
Chop a line of meth with your credit card for a euphoric time.
Too much effort to maintain a look. I would rather feel good then look good at this point in my life.
What about blue jeans and solid colour tshirts with no logos like a cartoon character
It's not a bad look, but it also isn't helping you out. You'll need to work with your body, facial attractiveness, and personality - which can do a lot. But not improving how you dress (not necessarily as a goth, but in some way that makes you look good and expresses yourself in a way that others understand) will leave a lot on the table.
Well with a beard and a second layer like a jacket I can pull off the "yes chad" look pretty easy even if it is an illusion, personality wise I'm a pretty shy guy that would rather pet a dog at a party than approach anyone but still capable of having proper conversations with random people though I have pulled an irish goodbye during one on one conversations at the end
Condition the beard and play with the dog and it'll work. At least thats what I did before transitioning
it's one of the only things I got going for me so of course I try to keep it looking nice and always get it taking care of when I get a nice hair cut the only other thing is if I happen to find woman into fat butts though I'd hope it was only for show
May I preach the good word of bicycles? Big butts are great but you can make it not only muscular but also giant /hj
But yeah I only mention conditioner out of sympathy for my hetero sisters. Back in my beardy days it was a novelty where I was to condition it, which meant I had women asking to play with my beard because of how soft it was and complaining that their boyfriends' were uncomfortable to touch.
It's so close to your hair it's hard to imagine it's uncommon
Never thought about it affecting my butt but biking is probably the only reason I have any visable muscle, can't say I want a bigger butt but I'm not about to turn down an advantage
Oh and just so the info is out there a metal lice comb works great to soften a beard if you can't was right away plus there cand be a lot of other stuff stuck in a beard
I do that but I only get 1 (one) pussy. It's my wife's, so it's plenty for me.
Upvote for this guy loving his wife very much, specifically. It really is plenty, isn't it?
(If I didn't have that point to make, this comment would have been a "that guy's wife's pussy is plenty for me as well" joke.)
1 × X = X × 1. One pussy multiple times is lots of pussy!
1 you can get infinite times is better than a million different pussies.
Sadly, my life expectancy is not sufficient for infinite times
That is one durable pussy in a very long lasting universe.
Then all you need is a weird, feathery top hat and you'll be just like that pickup artist guy on MTV.
Internalized homophobia is a hell of a thing to overcome. Some guys think those things are gay because that's what they were told by figures of authority.
Source: was raised as one of those guys.
Men at some point decided to abandon style, and the result has been rather tedious. BRING BACK STYLE, EVEN BOMBASTIC STYLE
I'm an early X'r, I lived through the 80's as a teen and young adult. Teal and pinks, shoulder pads, hair spray...
We had fun with style. I lived part in the US and Europe, Madrid in particular, during the "Movida" (look it up). We really dgaf.
With the years I slowly started to mute, to blend in.
I'm now back in dgaf territory, and I'm having fun!
I’m too old, out of shape, bald, and too much gray hair to pull off goth. Though somewhere out in the universe is a photo of an 18-yo me dressed as Frank from RHPS. Make-up, died hair, fishnets… the whole nine.
You'd be surprised, man. Go to any metal or rock concert and you'll see guys matching your description pulling it off.
Elder Goths hold the secret to aging successfully.
YOU DON'T KNOW HOW LITTLE I CARE ABOUT PUSSY THOUGH
I go with black socks, black sandals, black cargo pants and black turtleneck all year around.
Well, I'll change for combat boots when the snow comes.
Save some pussy for the rest of us.
Girl, be careful what you ask for...
Oh baby baby. Come to momma.
That person is a mystery to me...
That's the joke. He goes by mystery.
Peacocking
Nah man.. I'm good with my tshirt and shorts collection
As others have said - this is not really how to get girls to be into you. This is one particular person's fetish. They like goth-y, androgenous guys.
If you are a goth-y, androgenous guy, and you have wanted to wear black eyeliner but felt nervous about it and have been putting it off - here's your cue. Go do that.
If you aren't, then don't do that. It might help you out a little since, as OP implies, it will make you stand out. But since you aren't presenting yourself, but rather a charicature of someone else, you will feel inauthentic in the look, women will notice that you feel weird, and you won't be much better off than you started. Maybe worse off, if your normal outfit was already working.
In the... Let's call it the "autistic guys getting laid community", there is a lot of chatter around "archetype". How you dress and style yourself is a conscious decision you make every day, and it is how you make your first impression on any women you want to sleep with. So if you were to introduce yourself to a sexy somebody, what would you want to tell them about yourself? Well, first you need to tell them that you give enough of a shit about what you look like to put some time into looking good. Next, you'd want to tell them interesting things about yourself - what you value, what your job or hobbies are, what communities you are part of. But at the same time, you want to make sure you are communicating well - putting together an outfit based on "I just like it" and "this has something to do with who I am" is like introducing yourself in mandarin to a girl in Barcelona. Fitting your outfit to something that is immediately understandable within your broader culture is called dressing to your "archetype". Are you a skateboarder? Then dress like a skateboarder - stylishly ripped jeans, t shirt, flannel, beanie. A businessman? Wear a suit or a polo. A communist revolutionary? Rock your Che beret!
What makes women universally cream themselves? Say it with me: confidence. And a confident man is going to dress in a way that stands out and expresses who he is, because he knows that this is a great way to attract others to him who are similar. So: look good; look different; look like something identifiable.
I was expecting the big paragraph to be makeup tips. I was very disappointed.
Sorry brochacho - my archetype does some basic skin care and then hits the gym. Cause I'm a big, strong manly man who don't want no makeup. I'm sure somebody else here has makeup tips for you, though!
Oh my, you sound like somebody who needs a nice manly kilt to run around in! Don't be fooled the bagpipe is actually an optional accessory, you may instead have a ceremonial dagger.
I mean, different strokes for different folks. I don't think it does your message much good to immediately put down someone else's choice of look.
I'm neither into goth girls, nor would I like to be one.
Nah, I'm good.
Ah dude I love the style of those bands!
Except for Gary. We hate Gary.
I still wear dark clothing outside of work, but I'm too old to be digging out the makeup these days. People really don't respect the time it takes, especially if you can't wear it in a professional environment.
I'd be more interested in painting my claws if it didn't manage to smell so. Considring you're literally smearing it on your body to sit for several weeks, you'd think they'd have developed less toxic formulas that don't smell like you tipped over the entire Tamiya display at the hobby shop.
Nail polish typically uses acetone as its solvent, and despite smelling, acetone is something that humans naturally have low levels of in their blood, so slightly higher levels are pretty safe. Obviously, having exposure to large quantities is bad, but that isn't how nail polish is typically used.
It worked for Motley Crue.
Motley Crue save for Mick Mars are pretty terrible people. But Motley Crue was without question the sexiest thing I ever saw.
Best I could realistically pull off is a wig to look like someone from Queen, when they had long hairs. If I put makeup, it's instant Twisted Sister
You are seriously underestimating the number of women who would love to get down with a Dee Snider type.
My fingertips get weirdly sweaty whenever I wear nail polish. I joke it's my toxic masculinity leaking out, but really I just don't want to emphasize my toe thumbs. It's way more fun to show them when people don't even notice them.
Maybe? I'm not too sure what's causing it. There's no other symptoms and it goes away as soon as the nail polish is removed.
Can you imagine just walking around in modern society looking dolled up like a member of Poison? I'm sure they didn't even go around like that every day.
Some of those guys in hair metal did!
Could be cool to live in a society where people do wear leather.
Best of both worlds: use black nail polish to get gay trans guy pussy
Could probably get lots of dick too. I yanked it to the Poison album cover for about a year before I learned that they were dudes, and then like maybe three more months
don't care gonna keep wearing my loose plain shirts and cargo shorts and tennis shoes until the day i die
Those guys are cool and some of us men can not be like them. However, saying there is nothing sexy about wearing Nike is wrong. Nike does look good in certain situations. At a nice rap concert or at a party where people don't want to dress too edgy. Don't knock Nike. It's still cool even if some of you don't like it.
I can't say I think so, but if you do, have at it amigo.
Sorry I’m not into women who are into that.
No BTGGF?
Even better are the STGGFs
Source? Guys don't think that. Ever.
Chads maybe. But not normies.
These are the funny comments I think I've read in months...
These are certainly some of the posts on the internet.