Ancient solutions??? Shit! That would work TODAY!!!
If Kamala Harris had promised bigger penis's to all men if elected, she would be president right now.
Thats how I know all those pills and whatnot aren't worth trying. If ANYTHING worked, it would become a competition. And suddenly it wouldn't even be about if women liked it. Guys would be walking around with 60 inch dicks complaining they aren't big enough, because their neighbor is 90 inches soft.
And the human race would end, because no woman would be able to even take dicks anymore, so they'd just stop having sex.
And guys would STILL keep growing.
But none of that is real. So I know anything selling penis enlargement is a scam without needing to even try.
Twist: There is a reliable method, but it is being suppressed because penis insecurity drives so many behaviors that it is considered a load-bearing pillar of world economics. Penis equity would lead to global collapse.
Honest to god, 4-7 inches is indistinguishable. Everyone’s dick is fine. The vagina only has nerve endings down like 2-3”. It’s only really gay men who are size queens, because it’s different for anal. I’ve had good sex with guys with 3”, I’ve had terrible sex with guys with 8”. The size had zero to do with the quality of the sex, it was more about respect/kink/other shit.
Taking 9”+ hurts. Some people are masochists and like that, but istg dick complexes are ridiculous.
There is a huge difference between 4inches and 7inches.
Sex is satisfying with any dick size and no dicks. Sex is not about the dick.
The biggest dicks I've ever had, were huge porn dicks (10" and 11") and they didn't hurt at all. Ps I'm a sadist/Domme, not a masochist. Everyone has different sized vaginas, and perhaps mine expands really well, but I actually have borderline TOO MUCH tightness per my OBGYN and accomodated them easy. That's because big dicks aren't as hard as the smaller ones and are usually spongey and squishy which feels way different during sex than taking the hardness equivalent of a glass dildo at the same size.
My two favorite dicks (based on sexual physical sensation) were 4.5" and the 10" one named above. Smaller guy just stroked it perfectly and I came so fast with him, I think we just had very good compatibility in what positions felt nice and his dick was a perfect size to reach everything. The 10" guy was nice bc he was still able to stay hard (unlike 11" guy who needed a ring and still got soft, but his dick was also WAY bigger around, like soda can sized) and his dick had a perfect sponginess+width to it that my lips gripped, it was super super good.
Many women like cervical orgasms and full penetration, the vagina has nerves along the entire length.
Real I (29M) am like 13-14" and chicks at the gym always telling me how big it is (my spotter (31M) and I always wear sweatpants), but my last gf (24F supermodel) said her last bf (51M, $2.3M, 101mm) felt basically the same.
Chalice with that potion that sets in motion the erosion of reason for commotion like fire in a ball where you dance not slow but real low unlike damage 5d6 to the liver but got an organ grow lotion see so I'm good G.
The same people that looked for "witches" in search of remedies and formulas for things like erectile dysfunction, penis enlargement, love formulas, and all kinds of related stuff were often the same ones shouting "burn the witch" and wanting them dead. Never underestimate human hypocrisy.
Women in tall hats used to brew beer - which makes your penis feel bigger - in a cauldron at markets, but then men wanted to brew beer so they drove the women out and the image became part of the iconography of witchcraft.
Some tribes across Africa were known for hunting, killing, and eating women they deemed witches. I couldn't find a source, but I remember reading about it. I think the last recorded successful hunt occured in the 90's.
I did however find this a 2008 article written by the guardian, that talks about the sell and use of albinos in Tanzania. It has absolutely nothing to do with my original point, just thought it was interesting and very fucked up.
A friend of mine is albino and turned down a job offer in South Africa around that time. The thought of even being on the same continent with that going on made him profoundly uncomfortable.
Let me explain it to you, African males on average have the largest penis sizes compared to other ethnicities. The humour therein implies witchcraft could be responsible.
This is all clearly irreverent stupidity and need not have disclaimers because even if a person were stupid enough to believe that: it was properly tagged as a joke.
76 replies
Ancient solutions??? Shit! That would work TODAY!!!
If Kamala Harris had promised bigger penis's to all men if elected, she would be president right now.
Thats how I know all those pills and whatnot aren't worth trying. If ANYTHING worked, it would become a competition. And suddenly it wouldn't even be about if women liked it. Guys would be walking around with 60 inch dicks complaining they aren't big enough, because their neighbor is 90 inches soft.
And the human race would end, because no woman would be able to even take dicks anymore, so they'd just stop having sex.
And guys would STILL keep growing.
But none of that is real. So I know anything selling penis enlargement is a scam without needing to even try.
Twist: There is a reliable method, but it is being suppressed because penis insecurity drives so many behaviors that it is considered a load-bearing pillar of world economics. Penis equity would lead to global collapse.
It's being suppressed not by Big Penis, but by Small Penis.
Big small penis is behind this
Honest to god, 4-7 inches is indistinguishable. Everyone’s dick is fine. The vagina only has nerve endings down like 2-3”. It’s only really gay men who are size queens, because it’s different for anal. I’ve had good sex with guys with 3”, I’ve had terrible sex with guys with 8”. The size had zero to do with the quality of the sex, it was more about respect/kink/other shit.
Taking 9”+ hurts. Some people are masochists and like that, but istg dick complexes are ridiculous.
Man I hate it when I'm around someone with a istg dick complex.
“I swear to god” - for emphasis because it’s such an obnoxious thing.
If I could afford a phalloplasty, I’d go for 5” and be delighted with it.
Oooohhh. I thought you had somehow completely flubbed typing the word "big", or something like that.
Ugh. You're not even paying attention! She said she DOESN'T flub the big ones! She likes the average ones!
myers brigg dick energy
Lol. Lol.
There is a huge difference between 4inches and 7inches.
Sex is satisfying with any dick size and no dicks. Sex is not about the dick.
The biggest dicks I've ever had, were huge porn dicks (10" and 11") and they didn't hurt at all. Ps I'm a sadist/Domme, not a masochist. Everyone has different sized vaginas, and perhaps mine expands really well, but I actually have borderline TOO MUCH tightness per my OBGYN and accomodated them easy. That's because big dicks aren't as hard as the smaller ones and are usually spongey and squishy which feels way different during sex than taking the hardness equivalent of a glass dildo at the same size.
My two favorite dicks (based on sexual physical sensation) were 4.5" and the 10" one named above. Smaller guy just stroked it perfectly and I came so fast with him, I think we just had very good compatibility in what positions felt nice and his dick was a perfect size to reach everything. The 10" guy was nice bc he was still able to stay hard (unlike 11" guy who needed a ring and still got soft, but his dick was also WAY bigger around, like soda can sized) and his dick had a perfect sponginess+width to it that my lips gripped, it was super super good.
Many women like cervical orgasms and full penetration, the vagina has nerves along the entire length.
Real I (29M) am like 13-14" and chicks at the gym always telling me how big it is (my spotter (31M) and I always wear sweatpants), but my last gf (24F supermodel) said her last bf (51M, $2.3M, 101mm) felt basically the same.
Is that a copypasta? It feels like a copypasta
I don't buy it. I'm slightly bigger than average, not huge, but still bump into the cervix, for example with doggy.
I actually feel sorry for anyone more than 8 or 9 inches, as they must not be able to bury themselves completely very often.
Poor doggy. That's not what they meant by "give a dog a bone"!
Something can be ancient and still valid today.
We're still using many Roman bridges.
forms penis into Roman bridge
......wait, like 1 continuous penis? How big is this bridge, and what did that guy EAT???
No, because nobody would have believed her, for the same reasons you outlined below.
Now if AOC had run she might have been able to get away with it, but she’s starting to approach the age where that spell just doesn’t work anymore.
Eh. Having a huge dick isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Big dicks tend not to get hard and flop around.
sounds like what women do nowadays, with their bolt-on fake tits, duckface lips and glued on eyelashes. it looks disgustingly unnatural and ridiculous
Then when you dress as a woman, dont wear them
I cast a spell to make them titties just bounce
I speak in a language only wizards can pronounce
Gimme my spells, gimme my book, gimme my cauldron and something to cook
I'm a crazy ass wizard, I ain't going to die, trust me on that, many have tried
Spell activates, but all men in a 10 km radius get instant double D cups.
:3
:3B
:3DD
Yes, but the best we can do is the project catnip ears that are clipped, indicating you are spayed or neutered.
Chalice with that potion that sets in motion the erosion of reason for commotion like fire in a ball where you dance not slow but real low unlike damage 5d6 to the liver but got an organ grow lotion see so I'm good G.
Ok, I'm gonna need an Oglaf version of this.
Best I can do is SMBC
Why have I seen this joke 500 times in the last 2 weeks in meme format and in shorts format and multiple languages?
we (men) are trying to get back in the coven's good graces so they can help us with the source of all human misery (dick too small)
The source of all human misery? Oh man, as if I didn't feel the pressure enough already...
I thought witches stole semen
Why steal it when they’d have lined of men willing to trade it for a bigger dick?
Are you thinking of Succubi?
It's from "What we do in the Shadows"
The same people that looked for "witches" in search of remedies and formulas for things like erectile dysfunction, penis enlargement, love formulas, and all kinds of related stuff were often the same ones shouting "burn the witch" and wanting them dead. Never underestimate human hypocrisy.
And also blaming the witches for their problems.
Like bro? You were born with a tiny dick. Blame yer daddy.
No, this is just fanta-sea 🎶
Caught in a landslide 🎤🎶
no escape from big wee-wee
Easy cum, easy go
Little shy, little hoe
Damn big wee-wee! They're putting Cum-trails in the sky! To turn everyone gay!
Cum-trails. Now that is an image straight from the 5g chip in my brain xD
Fanta-sea? Sounds like sugar rush.
I tracked down the source to simplysilly but am unable to go further due to not having an instagram account.
So far doesn't seem AI. I certify it "likely real."
Thanks certification bot. Your seal of approval is likely useful.
Oh yeah that one is real. Hope this helps!
Unless it's Ancient Greece! There, if you had a massive dong they'd call you a stupid barbarian.
Like much of everything else, the Romans stole/adopted this Greek mentality as well.
It would not be a solution in ancient Greece/Rome, where a small penis was part of the beauty standard.
If the people will not love her, they can fear her.
Dionysus would disagree
It offen depends on the depiczion of course, but this deliction doesn't look all that big.
Priapus, cursed woth ugliness and an huge, everlasting errection, seems more in line with that.
But they probably wouldn't have wanted to burn her in the first place.
Women in tall hats used to brew beer - which makes your penis feel bigger - in a cauldron at markets, but then men wanted to brew beer so they drove the women out and the image became part of the iconography of witchcraft.
is this actually true?
The bit about alewives is. The hat thing is supposition.
I know this spell too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
This was why they didn't burn witches in Africa. /joke
Some tribes across Africa were known for hunting, killing, and eating women they deemed witches. I couldn't find a source, but I remember reading about it. I think the last recorded successful hunt occured in the 90's.
I did however find this a 2008 article written by the guardian, that talks about the sell and use of albinos in Tanzania. It has absolutely nothing to do with my original point, just thought it was interesting and very fucked up.
A friend of mine is albino and turned down a job offer in South Africa around that time. The thought of even being on the same continent with that going on made him profoundly uncomfortable.
Seems wise
Turn it down, or paint yourself daily 😅
You appear to have missed the /joke tag.
Let me explain it to you, African males on average have the largest penis sizes compared to other ethnicities. The humour therein implies witchcraft could be responsible.
This is all clearly irreverent stupidity and need not have disclaimers because even if a person were stupid enough to believe that: it was properly tagged as a joke.
Each inch added to your member 6 inches gets removed from your height.
Men would be bragging about how short they are.
Look, mom, I'm 2D now.
I know someone who is almost 7 feet tall that has complained about wanting to make this very trade
So youre telling me i get a biggerdick and wont hit my Head on doors anymore? Best wish ever!!!
The thing is, I actually DO know how to increase dick size with vitamins and I'd never tell the limp dick misogynists here :)
Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.