I'm also in the bathroom, but the TP is on my right and to the left is the shower. No objects that aren't attached to the building. So, that'll be hard.
Right? I had a fresh mug of coffee to the left of me when I read it, feels like the scalding alone would make that worse than a bo staff without even getting into the damage a shattering mug could do.
I keep telling my girlfriend that yes, bulk liquid soap has its advantages, but have we really done a thorough analysis of the potential second and third order consequences?
A two person seat on a train. Altho with a little shifting, ok now just my backpack. Been wanting to replace my daily anyway, make this one the dirty work pack.
My husband? Normal day.
Well looks like u got the best option
My wife is on my left, it's going to be interesting
I only have a table to my left... Well this is gonna hurt.
My couch is the only object on my left
It's great seeing you are using Lemmy, Mr Vance.
Put The Cat down shane dawson
I'm assuming that that's the "before" photo
The "after" would be the same, but with matted fur
I just walked past a parked car as I read that—it's been nice knowing you all
We had cat in the hat
Now we have car in the ass
Humans fucking cars
A couch. Is this like one of JD Vance's fantasies? To be fucked by a couch?
No you've got it mixed up, he's a-pitchin'.
Same. Even with a LOT of lube I think this is going to sting
Is that south park episode again, now i need to rewatch it tonight
When i thought she couldn't get more cute you tell me her name is Muffin, now i wanna to carry her
🎶 Lemmiwinks 🎶
Toilet paper? All according to plan
I guess he's trying to deep clean the pipes
A 30cm offset serrated bread knife? At least the base is vaguely flared.
Well, safety first
What a horrible day to be working around mig welding machines.
Aw man, indeed!
I'm in the bathroom on the 8th floor of a hospital building, so I figure it's at least some of the wall? Hourly not the whole building though
I'm not putting my cat up my butt, you fucking weirdo.
You don't do everything a picture on the internet tells you to?
looks at radiator dubiously
Well.. it's a door. At least my ass will be closed for business after that.
A wall?!
My fiance is 5' tall. I'm going to literally explode.
Don't look up "anal vore"
Depends on how you shove him tho.........as long as your fiance is a man
Objectifying your fiance is cheating in this game.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
It's a car. RIP
Poor cat
OK, there's actually a banana to my left, but I already did that today
A entire bedroom wall
I now own a Browntooth speaker.
My poor Blåhaj…
This is rather convenient, as the object to my left is a roll of toilet paper
It's pointing at my finger, so an easy one.
Now start diddling your diddle Diddlydee
Of all guitars, why did I choose a ten-string one
chuckles nervously in double neck
Well shit, I guess I have to re-enact 1 man 1 jar...
Oh lawd not again
Nonono... just do us a favour and don't film it. I've been scarred enough for a lifetime.
You think you're scarred? You should see my bu- you know what, I'm not making this joke.
Lol!
I'm lying on my right side in bed so I guess the ceiling?
Same, except mine has a fan on it. 🪦
Same, but lying on my left side, so the mattress?
There’s a window, but just outside the window is a tall skinny CACTUS
A double width bus chair
Fuck
Hairbrush. It'd fit fine, but it's got rubberized paint that's coming off the handle. :/
ER has seen worst
A towel. Idk how im gonna make this work. Maybe if soaked with enough lube or oil 🤔
Eww thats even worse
I reckon you could manage a towel with a bit of lube and some sort of stick to help it on its way.
I believe in you, you've got this.
Wrap it around a stick and then wrap it with rope like you would do with a turkey and then soak it in coconut oil
Haven't done it myself yet but sounds like it might work🤷♂️
I believe in you
I was leaning against this when I opened the post:
Just be glad it doesn't have needles or thorns.
The wall? I wonder how that's gonna work
Small metal filling cabinet that is wider than I am, death is what I get
It's my wife so I guess it depends on how much of her
Hurry onward Lindsay Lohan, or you will soon be dead.
Well, my terrier is going up my ass, apparently. Sorry, boy.
a wall
TP
I'm also in the bathroom, but the TP is on my right and to the left is the shower. No objects that aren't attached to the building. So, that'll be hard.
You can do it, I believe in you.
Not sure how a television is gonna fit, but here we go
Reading this on the toilet, literally it's toilet paper
Whole roll, though!
One... More... Square...
I am currently regretting my choice to sit in the garden. About 20 concrete blocks.
I’m at the DMV, a teenaged girl is sitting next to me 😬
a nice soft blanket. not sure how much will fit but I bet when I take it out it'll feel like taking packing out of your sinuses after an infection.
Water heater 😮💨
At least it'll be warm?
Holy mackerel, it's the house!
Okay but it doesn’t specify entirely up your ass, just up your ass. So a Bo staff wouldn’t be that bad, it’s smooth at least.
Right? I had a fresh mug of coffee to the left of me when I read it, feels like the scalding alone would make that worse than a bo staff without even getting into the damage a shattering mug could do.
I have to shove a whole fucking table up there? 😫
A jar. We all know how that ends.
Cup.
Uhhhh
Idk how to interpret this when I read it while laying on my right side. What's on my left... the sun?
You sleeping on a park bench?
TIL back yards exist
The roof
That's going to be a tad bit difficult.
Sharpie.
slightly concerned it doesn't have a flare but this isn't gonna go too wrong I don't think.
The first time I saw this post: sunglasses
The second time: 375mL can of beer.
The third time: my cat.
A mirror. Or... Myself?
Its either a large flat screen or CRT that weighs like 70 pounds, I am going to die.
haha nvidia shield toblerone remote
Its just a big ol stuffy, I'll be fine after the surgery.
Either my 10in tablet, or my huge
ashtraybowlNice, just a coke spoon
My bathroom sink... at least my bowels will be empty before it ends up inside me.
entire crate of water bottles.
Large banana stuffie. Could be worse.
Oh no it's my dog!
Air purifier....
An ~12"x18"x1" wooden cutting board...
I can make this work.
Computer 👀
4 ft is about 1.2m - a Bo is typically around 1.8m
To my left is just a door. So I guess I gotta shove a whole door up my ass
It's like a 6ft x 2ft painting (2m x 0.7m roughly) on the wall. Going to be a rough night.
Whew, just a coffee mug.
So do I choose the bath or one of the shampoo bottles? 🤔
I'd go with the shampoo bottles
... 40 oz metal water bottle...
Thankfully just a lip balm...
Too small, it's gonna get lost.
Cat wand toy.
Perforated bowel coming up
Roll of toilet paper.
A chair..
I am currently taking a dump... So the entire bathroom door. 🥲
HARDER!!
Wait what u mean again????
I should've not said that💀
Refrigerator. Oofta
Lol u from upper midwest?
You betchya
To my left is my dog Courage, she weighs about 50 lbs so having her shoved up my ass would probably end my life
A bigass shelf. I'm going to die.
Perfect day* to be a martial artist
Today its luggage. I'm gonna need a lube wale...a belube wale.
A teaspoon, or worryingly the kitchen table upon which it is sitting.
I keep telling my girlfriend that yes, bulk liquid soap has its advantages, but have we really done a thorough analysis of the potential second and third order consequences?
I'm pretty sure air already does this
Floor to ceiling window…
The finger pointed at the fish tank.
I wish i die before that
-fish
A two person seat on a train. Altho with a little shifting, ok now just my backpack. Been wanting to replace my daily anyway, make this one the dirty work pack.
Vlad the impaler
I'm in bed laying on my right side... So the ceiling fan? 💀