Spyke
asklemmyยทAsklemmybyFlamangoman

Do you interpret a ๐Ÿ‘ as a rude reply?

Every time somebody sends me a thumb I take it as "whatever you say you fucking dumbass" and it pisses me off.

And ya, I'm aware that that the replies are going to be thumbs, let's see em ya jerks!!!

View original on leminal.space
Glide
lemmy.ca

This is literally my "message received" emote.

If people thought it was rude, I'd be fired by now.

196

There are workgroups at my job that use it as acknowledgement and for voting consensus as we are allowed to attend meetings camera and mic off.

4

Next post:

"Why do people respond to a message that doesn't need a response when they could just send an emoji?"

2
Raireply
lemmy.dbzer0.com

Are you old?

I see that as an old people response.

-7

Why tho? I am not old and this is fairly standard in my work place, some forums I use, messages with friends etc. Maybe it's a culture thing but definitely not an old people thing imo. Its the easiest way to send an acknowledgment or agreement with a message without spamming the group chat and it makes it easier to count if you interpret it as votes.

Edit: I am talking about reacting to the messages directly, I don't reply to someone with just a thumbs up emoji when I can just say Ok in most context.

2
Zak
lemmy.world

It depends on what it's in response to.

Dinner at 6 at Greasy Spoon?
๐Ÿ‘ 

Entirely reasonable.

Should we do the project in COBOL?
๐Ÿ‘ 

Entirely unreasonable, but not rude.

My cat just died.
๐Ÿ‘ 

Rude.

158

This is the best answer. Also, even in some serious case the thumbs up is interpreted as "noted, all good". It does not mean positive action, just saying "noted".

6
Flamangomanreply
leminal.space

I guess I just picture a chat as a textual representation of a conversation and if I said to you, want to get dinner at 6, and you replied ๐Ÿ‘ in real life, I would cancel the dinner lmao

-24
Zakreply
lemmy.world

I see where you're coming from now. In most English-speaking cultures, it is not conventional to use hand gestures as a substitute for spoken words in a conversation. Breaking social conventions for no apparent reason is at least potentially rude.

You're translating those conventions directly to chat. Chat is not spoken word, and it is conventional to use emojis, at least the really unambiguous ones, instead of typed words in chat some of the time. People do not usually do this with any rude or insulting intent.

43

I appreciate the level headed reply in the sea of insanity I have started with this thread.

Honestly, I don't interpret it as something malicious ever either, like I don't think everyone is actually telling me to fuck myself, it just reads that way to me.

7
lenzreply
lemmy.ml

You saying youโ€™d straight up cancel a dinner because someone gave you a thumbs up instead of a verbal response genuinely blew my mind lmao. Ngl fam, thatโ€™s a bit extreme. I give people the thumbs up all the time, and imagining someone becoming so upset at me for doing it that theyโ€™d cancel our dinner together is insane to me. I couldnโ€™t be friends with such a person without feeling like I was constantly walking on eggshells.

21
Flamangomanreply
leminal.space

It was an exageration my guy, as with all my reactions to the ๐Ÿ‘ in this thread. It does not make me truly angry, I'm being a bit silly because it's fun.

-5

So I wasn't sure if you were an asshole, but based on this comment, I'm am not certain you are.

I say this because it's fun for me and I've been taught to speak at my audience's level.

2

Maybe try not habitually exaggerating? People who don't know you are just gonna take you at your word.

1

I do not think the majority of people would agree that chat is a textual representation of a conversation. Itโ€™s its own thing and this is evident by slang, leetcode, emoticons, emoji, and euphemisms (๐Ÿ†๐Ÿ’ฆ). How people talk over text is completely different than how they speak in real life, especially when theyโ€™re typing fast.

16
BCsvenreply

If you are mid drinking or chewing and somebody asks you a question, a thumbs up is perfectly acceptable as a yes. Otherwise its a bit odd, but not offensive. Its like a +1 affirmation

12
TAGreply

You and I are very different then. If I tell someone that dinner is at 6 and they give me a thumbs up, I would interpret that as "I acknowledge that I heard you and have no objections. It is not worth taking my attention off of whatever I am doing."

10

It's probably one of the auto responses on their side when the text alert pops up. Maybe they were driving or I. The middle of something and it was just easier for them to respond this way.

6

It's pretty clear the issue here is you. Specifically, your reaction. The solution to than can only come from you. The world will not bend to you and the world is not responsible for making you feel certain things, that's all you.

2

No. Your reading of it is unusual, in most contexts. It almost always means "agreement, and I have nothing of substance to add".

It can be rude if the thing you've said should warrant a substantial response. Like if you wrote "my brother just died in a car wreck", a thumbs up (or probably any emoji) would be an inappropriate response. Heavier stuff warrants whole words.

But if it's like "Can you get cat food at the store? The kind we always get" then a thumbs up is an acceptable shorthand for "yes, I understand and commit to this request "

74
edric
lemm.ee

Nope, because I use it myself. But I don't use it as a conversational tool though. I just use it as confirmation that I received and read what you sent but it isn't necessary to continue the conversation. For example, I'm already in a conversation with someone and the assumption is I need them to send me a file. When they finally send it over, I just react with a thumbs up to confirm I got it. Context is important. The emoji is only as meaningful as the context of the conversation it is in.

51

Yeah that sounds like a you problem. Most people use it to just mean "ok." But I mean, if you said "mom just died ๐Ÿ˜ญ" and you get "๐Ÿ‘" as a reply, that one's probably rude.

45

Itโ€™s a pretty simple โ€œacknowledgedโ€ to me. Itโ€™s a โ€œIโ€™ve not just seen your message, Iโ€™ve read it, and I have no further commentsโ€.

I donโ€™t think Iโ€™ve ever interpreted it as rude.

39

I use the ๐Ÿ‘react to show that I've seen the message but don't need to respond. Usually in the case of someone sending a money transfer or something like that.

35
lemmy.today

When I personally use it it means "OK, sounds good, I have nothing more to add but I read your message."

31

It has also been ruled in court (I think in Australia but I dont remember for certain) that it is legally binding as a verbal agreement.

Basically a farmer sent a message to a wholesaler saying "Hey, I need to double my stock feed order for next quarter" or something like that, the supplier sent back a thumbs up. So the delivery arrived and it was only the regular amount. The farmer had to buy the extra amount at retail prices and it cost him tens of thousands more, so he sued for damages. The supplier argued that text messages and thumbs up werent the correct ordering procedure and that he wasnt liable, the court ruled effectively that "Then you should have said that. A thumbs up is a general term of positive response to a question or statement and in this case constitutes acceptance of a verbal agreement" and had to cough up.

Found the case, it was Canada and the farmer F-ed up not the supplier.

15

Exactly. Everyone at work uses it to cut the chain of "Looks good", "Thanks", "No problem", etc short. If you're interpreting an emoji as an attack you might have anger issues.

11
lemmy.ml

If I react to a message with a ๐Ÿ‘ it's innocuous, but if I reply to a message ๐Ÿ‘ it's actually me being passive aggressive like I can't be bothered to type a real response

27

Yes! I just responded with something similar lol that's exactly how I use it and how I would take it

7
MTK
lemmy.world

Context, it is the "K" of Emojis, acceptable as quick response, insulting in any serious conversation

25

Okay is one of the coolest words ever. It started sort of as a "meme" speak thing around 1900 (I don't remember exactly, may have been older). They would take phrases then spell them differently then abbreviate the misspelling. So okay the word was originally OK the acronym for "oll korrect" which was "all correct."

A similar thing would be like saying "acey" for "AC" for "all correct". I've thought about trying to make it a thing with my friends but it feels a little too abstract.

2
yuri
pawb.social

in response to plans?

chill.

in response to something like a political opinion?

highly sarcastic.

23
lemmy.world

GenX here. Shit, I do thumbs up frequently to confer agreement.
And I will indeed give you a middle finger emoji to say, "you fucking dumbass."

21
lemmy.world

Never in the history of me sending thumb responses in work chats has it ever meant โ€œwhatever you say you fucking dumbass.โ€

It's primarily used to show acknowledgement. It's the office worker equivalent of "10-4."

Seems like you have some pretty serious projection issues to work out OP lol

21
N0x0n
lemmy.ml

Huh? Maybe I'm strange... But sometimes I give a thumbs up emoji here on Lemmy when I agree with someones argument and have nothing more to add because I 100% agree with the content !

Never though It could be interpreted as rude :/

21
sh.itjust.works

Depending on the context, it is can be used sarcastically, which may be rude. But I've used this even in semi-formal settings.

I have to ask, are people these days that easily offended?

19

Yes lmao, where you been? People want to be offended now to the degree where they look for things that aren't really offensive but they can use it for sympathy likes.

Maybe I just have tuned my ability to notice it from years of "nothing is ever good enough" parents, teachers, and employers, but it's literally the same mechanism that made my mom say "well a B is good but you need to be getting As. (And later) Well that low A is good but you need to get it higher." Or my boss just always saying "faster faster" no matter how much "faster faster" you go, so I now just say "you got it boss" and continue at my pace instead of breaking my back just to hear "faster faster" again in response like he's some kind of weird Gull that gained the ability to mimic human speech it can't comprehend. It all comes from the same place, plus a dash of clickbait.

-3

Nah, and to be honest it threw me off to hear some people interpet it that way. It's always meant "acknowledged" or "I agree, no notes" to me.

If I wanted to be rude I'd do this instead: ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ™„

19
lemm.ee

I give a ๐Ÿ‘ on a reaction message all the time cause I'm too lazy to respond to it using words

19

Reacting with "I agree" instead of ๐Ÿ‘ in the reaction field can completely disrupt a conversation.

4
d00phy
lemmy.world

I donโ€™t, and I use it all the time. That said, I try to be mindful of context. For example, if Iโ€™m going to a party and someone texts saying to grab ice or something: ๐Ÿ‘

Conversely, if someone is texting to say their dog died, or congratularions of a big achievement: !๐Ÿ‘

17

Depends on context. Most of the time it's just a confirmation. You are reading your insecurities into it.

If I want to make it sarcastic I like ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘„๐Ÿ‘๏ธ๐Ÿ‘

16

Not โ€ฆ really ? Don't think I ever seen it used in ways that could be read that way , not sure wy some one would use it like that either

16

It's possible you have dealt with more than your fair share of sarcastic passive aggressive people in your life so far. Most people give a ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ as a confirmation, like "OK". Its especially common when someone is bust, like if they're driving or in a meeting, or trying to think.

15

Whatever you say you fucking dumbass ๐Ÿ‘

Really just depends on the context but generally it isn't what you think it means and it's simply your personal interpretation. You have to assume people are well intentioned or you start having trust issues. Most people don't see themselves as the asshole and I guarantee you do shit that pisses other people off even if you mean well.

14

The chat built into my hospital's charting software has the 'thumbs up' react so you can quickly and easily show that you've read it. So for me it just means 'heard', 'roger', etc.

13

Whether a thumbs-up emoji is a good response really depends on the situation.

If it's a quick 'yes' or 'okay' to a simple question, it's fine. But if someone's asking for your opinion or needs more details, it can seem like you're not putting in much effort.

Also, how well you know the person matters a lot. You might use it with a close friend. In contrast someone you don't know well, it can be considered rude.

12

I suppose it depends what I sent them to prompt the reply? "Dinner at 6?" followed by ๐Ÿ‘ is fine. "My grandpop is dying, he may not make it through the week" -> ๐Ÿ‘ would send me right off.

11
feddit.nu

No. Thumbs up means that I agree with you. I know that the younger generation has started interpreting a thumbs up as something negative though, which just blows my mind.

11
Atomicreply
sh.itjust.works

It's not the thumbs up in itself that is seen as rude, but the short dismissive affirmative.

Someone that sees it as rude would feel like they put effort into their message and expect some kind of effort back in the reply,

the single emoji response can also make it seem like you didn't even care to read it, and just say replied with something to make them shut up.

4
wewbullreply

Right, but sometimes you just need to say "I've read what you said. Sounds good to me. No need to keep discussing.", especially when organising things.

๐Ÿ‘

7

I understand how someone can see a thumbs up as something rude in certain circumstances. What Iโ€™m having a hard time understanding is that some people seem to believe that the thumb up is ALWAYS rude.

What is rude, as you say, is the lack of a proper response, depending on the conversation. Not the thumb in itself.

2
Arfman
aussie.zone

In a professional setting, it's been a normalised acknowledgement, but socially I try to avoid it. Depending on the generation it can be taken the wrong way.

11

If it's coming from my older coworkers, I know it's meant well. They approve of whatever was discussed and are too busy to type out more, or its unnecessary.

If it's coming from my gen z boyfriend, I have pissed him off.

4

Depends on context but mainly it just means 'Okay!' or 'Go ahead!'

10

It depens on the context. I use ๐Ÿ‘ in my work to show that I get the messages my superiors sent me.

9

no definitely not. but that's probably because i don't associate with people who think im a piece of shit

9

So some guy sends you a particular emoji and gets to live rent-free in your head for an hour?

7

Initially I did yeah, but eventually learned that different people use it differently. So good practice to never assume sarcasm through emojis unless you know the person well

7

It depends on context and conversation. I get ๐Ÿ‘ replies to my comments at work which 80% of the time means whatever I'm about to break in the code base nobody is currently working on.

7

No, I see it as friendly, but I receive them from my friends. I think if you have a doubt in the relationship already you are more likely to interpret any short reply as rude than if you are confident in what your relationship means to them.

7

I'm going to say it's not a "you" problem, but a "who you're surrounded by" problem. Is this something you're used to percieving accurately? Do you have friends or family who would actually mean it rudely? Because, as others have mentioned, I simply would not be able to function at work if I interpreted ๐Ÿ‘ as rude/sarcastic.

I have to assume you're young or your work doesn't involve communicating with coworkers or clients over text. I'd also be curious if you look back at this post 5-10 years from now and think "wtf was I on about?" (I'd also be curious if civilization still exists 5-10 years from now, but I digress...)

6

Like โ€˜OKโ€™ it depends on context, and irony can be hard to discern online.

6
lemmy.world

It says we are all a bunch Fonzies here, and what is Fonzie?

6
tobiahreply
lemmy.world

Reference to an old American television show where the "cool" character used to make the thumbs up gesture.

5

Yes, I actually do interpret it that way even though I'm pretty sure I've never received it with that intent. Then I think "why am I like this?" and wonder if this is part of getting old. This is actually much less of a joke than it probably sounds like.

6

Generally, I do not. But Iโ€™m sure there is a scenario where it is used as a rude way to terminate a conversation.

5

I used to but then at work everyone always uses the thumbs up on slack. So I got used to it. Nowadays it depends on the context of the convo

4

You see it as dismissive. Low effort reply, like they couldn't be bothered. It's not inviting continued conversation so you see it as someone telling you to stop talking to them.

If I were to guess. In your eyes. They might as well have replied with "cool story bro".

Which is now forever a sarcastic term and no one regardless of what you say, will believe that you actually found their story cool.

4

I basically use it as a way to acknowledge that I saw a message but have nothing further to ask or add.

4
lemmy.world

In private messages outside of work, yes, it comes across passive aggressive and is a hard stop to a conversation. In work context though, it's pretty common on teams as an acknowledgement, though I still think it's nicer to use like a heart react then actually reply.

4

Personally i do. Same as the ๐Ÿ˜‰ wink smiley... comes across as a bit of a cunt in my opinion.

Could be because there were shitty people that would use it in condescending ways at me.

3
lemmy.ca

For message received, I use the press and hold emoji reactions, "tapbacks" I think they're called.

For some reason I associate an actual "๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿผ" text as being less nice? Because now you took the time to open your keyboard and find the thumbs up. Like equivalent to texting "K." Lol

2

Ya, a react like sure that's fine, but a response, I just always think like if I said something to you in real life and you just replied ๐Ÿ‘... that's rude as fuck lol

1

I can respond with ๐Ÿ‘ and if people don't like it then next time I probably wouldn't respond to there texts with anything at all. The thumbs up IS me putting in the extra effort to acknowledge & respond to received messages. Also, it was my avatar on my previous college online profile.

Just try to remember that there is almost always more than one way to interpret a body of text even if it's a single character.

2

nope but my lingo interpretation is way dated and by the time I uptake something its out of fashion.

2

It really depends on the age of the sender.

30s and younger: Fairly dismissive response. Not outright insulting but pretty rude.

40s and older: genuinely meant as an earnest acknowledgement of your message.

2

It depends on the context

If I'm just looking for a confirmation that my message was received, and the plans need to additional modification, a thumbs up is sufficient.

If I ask something like "Wanna meet up at the bar after work today?" And get a thumbs up, that's sufficient. We know where we're going and when, no more discussion really needed.

If I ask "you free to grab a beer this weekend?" and I get a thumbs up, that's bullshit. When are you free to grab said beer? Where are we going for it? We have details that need to be hammered out.

2

I had this discussion with my wife a few weeks ago. She did that to a work colleague who took offense to it. I explained that that's because her colleague is about 8 years younger than us.

Basically, if the recipient is 35 and under, it's offensive. If they're 40 and older, it's not. Anywhere in between, look for context.

2

Depends on context but generally no. I use it myself to either agree with or acknowledge messages if I don't have anything to add. I don't see why you should interpret it as rude if the person you're speaking to, or people in general, have stated they don't intend it to be rude.

2

I'll reply with the all mighty answer:

It depends.

Depends on the people you are talking to I'd say.

2
Zoldyck
lemmy.world

Yes. It frequently comes across as passive aggressive or as if the person doesn't care.

1

I totally get you! Whenever I feel that it could be interpreted that way, I don't send the thumbs-up. I do use it though, but I try to be careful to avoid that misinterpretation.

1

Just like a curt "yes" or even "yes sir" can be seen as somewhat rude in some contexts, so to can its emoji equivalent.

1
lemmy.world

Sounds like a you problem. An emoji is just that, context of usage defines it's meaning.

1

The context will be more telling of if it's actually rude or not. There's a lot of chat software nowadays where you can "react" to a message with a thumbs up and people use it to acknowledge what was said.

1
teagrrl
lemmy.ml

Definitely is a rude reply. Zero effort and sarcastic.

I think depending on your generation and language you speak it can have different meanings.

-1