Men Face $1,000 Fine if They 'Discharge Semen' Under New Bill
A bill proposed to the Ohio statehouse will make male ejaculation without intent to have a baby, a fineable offense of up to $10,000.
The bill has been proposed by State Representatives Anita Somani and Tristan Rader, who wrote it to point out what they see as the absurdity of rules that control women's bodies but do not control men's. It has not been formally introduced to the House Floor yet.
Per Somani and Rader, men would face a $1,000 first offense, $5,000 second offense, and $10,000 subsequent offense fine to "discharge semen or genetic material without intent to fertilize an embryo."
https://www.newsweek.com/men-face-thousand-dollar-fine-discharging-semen-ohio-2028909Open linkView original on infosec.pub556
Comments72
We could pay down the national debt in about 4 hours.
A lot of men will need
bankspank loans.New business opportunity!
New fintech startup, Wankr, provides loans at 2400% to pay your wank-fines.
....Now to get $300 million in Series-A funding.
A few nation’s debts
I mean tbf the GOP has a supermajority in the Ohio House so there's probably not much she can do other than trolling.
Not true. She could take a page from AOC's book and inform the people of their rights and how to resist the fascist administration AND troll the fascists for their ignorant reactions.
Ohio voters recently passed a constitutional amendment guaranteeing abortion rights, so writing that bill here is certainly mostly a signal to national politics.
Also, I had a vasectomy, so would I still be able to wank away under the proposed bill? lol
Required, actually. With mandatory minimums for both frequency and duration.
...fuck.
Better get to practicing! I hear thinking about your grandmom playing baseball has a 50/50 chance of either being helpful or very traumatic..
Fair enough.
How about proposing actual progressive legislation that would help her constituents, and calling out the Republicans who oppose it?
Agreed.
I get what they're doing, but they can look at the stats and see that Trump has broadened his coalition, in part, because of the fashionable hate directed toward men by people who consider themselves progressive, and stupid shit like this just adds gasoline to the fire.
Seriously, I'm so tired oh these "Gotcha! Look at how hypocritical they are!" gestures. They're empty and a complete waste of time.
They. Do. Not. Care.
Less this. More beating the shit out of their opponents with canes like the old days.
Which is great until you remember that the religious right is okay with that idea
It'd legitimately be hilarious if they introduced it on the House floor and the general response was, "Oh, yeah, this is perfect!" and it somehow passed.
Hilarious, but awful. This has cursed monkey paw wish written all over it.
I don't live in the USA, so I would be very amused to see these things pass.
It's already happened. Not this exact bill, but a "inception begins at ejaculation" bill. Forget which idiot Congressman proposed it.
I believe they actually did it before these people started to attempt to use it to troll people.
No, all of these bills are satirical. Dems are doing it in a few states to point out the absurdity. https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/politics-news/mississippi-lawmaker-introduces-contraception-begins-erection-act-rcna188938
I thought that the first one I read about was a Republican, but it's definitely possible that I'm misremembering.
Yah, the at times almost universal male genital mutilation in the US goes back to religious nutjobs like Kellog & co to stop boys from masturbating. It's also what motivated Kellog, in his quest for the blandest food, to invent cornflakes, because, apparently, spicy foods make you naughty. Good Glob, I wish I was kidding.
As well as with homosexuality. People should definitely learn about the history of sodomite. Gang bangs of pastor were a thing.
I'll never financially recover from this.
Every sperm is sacred:
https://youtu.be/fUspLVStPbk
I'm already several hundred thousand in debt.
These performative bills are so dumb; you can't shame the shameless. Republicans are open hypocrites. You think they care about this?
Push laws for actual protections against people being hurt
Absolutely will not happen in Ohio, the only way the statehouse could do anything beneficial for it's citizens would be to have a massive gas leak
They are too busy hurting people.
They aren't trying to shame anyone. They are just trying to get thier own names on the news. You mistake these poloticians for people who care about others.
Tell me you didn't read the article without telling me you didn't read the article.
This bill was introduced by two Democrats to highlight how all these policies are being enacted by Republicans that target women but not men.
You wrote all that in response to an article you never read?
Fucking Spoogspeare over here
More like a Monty Python.
Same difference 🤷
And now for something completely different…
The name seems like it has to have also been a dick joke, but I looked it up and apparently not.
all the listed exceptions will be declared illegal in separate legislation.
I haven't read the article yet but I'm really not understanding what they're even trying to dissuade here... Like what tort are they even punishing in their twisted little minds?
EDIT okay right away the article adds some much needed context:
It's like a protest bill.
Thank you.
That's wild
Pro gooners are fine because they never cum /s
the fake christians of America prove why freedom of religion also means freedom from religion.
the term "moneyshot" gets a whole new meaning
That just makes having a wank more thrilling, getting close knowing you're about to reach a 100 grand fine that day.
America, edging its way to a theocracy.
"Your Honor, I was trying to get the Kleenex pregnant."
So, what you're saying is I can move to Ohio, open a sperm bank that charges $100 per deposit, and make a mint?
Maybe I'm OOTL, but what is the appeal to pay $100?
So that you could legally ejaculate, paying $100 rather than paying much more as a fine.
This week Im going to petition the Michigan government to build a yuge wall between us and Ohio. I don't want any more chronic masterbaters roaming our streets, they belong in Cleveland.
Gun owning Americans, not being allowed to jerk off.
That's probably fine...
Right?...
if they pass this law, people would go out jerking off everywhere in protest
I mean, what about people with vasectomy? Do we just get the death sentence?
There would be a national day of gooning.
I can't wait for it to pass
I discharged in the direction of Ohio earlier...bill me later
I did the same thing in the derection of Cincinnati, going west on the I-70
Well, there goes my retirement.
Woe's Hollow
The poor agents that will have to watch the recordings of proof of discharge in order to charge these men.
"Sorry, afraid we cannot discharge you"
That's a lot of overdraft fees. Just gonna make me masturbate even harder though.
Honestly that's fairly reasonable
Doing some quick math, I have in my possession a 1.2 billion dollar RATM tshirt with Che’s eye stuck together for good.
Well, I can see where they're coming from excuse the pun
This is uh...quite biblical actually, as someone got executed for this. They should make it punishable by exexution while they are at it. Why be a theocratic distopia only half-way?
Gives a whole new meaning to "hide yo kids".
https://youtu.be/bzVHjg3AqIQ