QAnon: “Looks like sound reasoning to us.”

I wanna be supportive but, fucking Mildred?

Engaging in sexual intercourse with Mildred is perfectly fine as long as there is mutual consent. However, it is not required. Kind words are usually sufficient.

Has it shriveled, or has it slightly declined? You can’t have both.

tfw at the end he grabs the pliers with both hands 😬😬😬

Corrected headline: Three crazy guys say stupid shit that no one should pay attention to

I’m hearing…many people…many of the top people who know about these things…are saying…very strongly…so I don’t know, but we’ll be looking into it very soon.

I’m decades younger than Biden and I have trouble recalling the exact dates of my family members’ deaths. Because I never try to remember their deaths. Their lives are what mattered.

Same crowd that hates democracy because it sounds like “Democrat”.

This has already been happening on the Web for quite some time. For example Microsoft Clarity records everything you do on those dodgy Web sites you visit. And they assign a universal identifier to you that can be correlated with the IDs Google and your device have already created and broadcast to profile you.

And you think “oh but I use x, y, and z to prevent tracking”. Guess what: They make your browser do nonsense tasks in the background to benchmark your hardware and then assign a UUID to you based on that.

The only thing that can help this situation is privacy legislation with real teeth.

Also older than George W. Bush and Obama. And Al Gore. Not famously old Dick Cheney, but it’s close. Dan Quayle, George H. W. Bush’s VP, is younger.

It’s a conspiracy by Big Dairy to keep us udderly focused.

Does seat 9 include the “full Beetlejuice”?

Same goes for Belgium, Italy, and Turkey. But I won’t let that interfere with my appreciation for the meme.

Because their plan A of flooding the public discourse with stories about how we’ll all die if we don’t “return to office” has failed.

Yeah, yeah we know. She’s a girl. She has an innie instead of an outie. Misogyny is the stupidest thing that has ever been.

It’s not dumbness, it’s cravenness. He’s saying things he thinks MAGA-bros like to hear. “Yeah brother, high-five! Burn those libs!”

Also the subtext here is that Jeff Bridges isn’t manly. I don’t think there’s a cure for that level of delusion.

I was talking with some scientists who told me that a mere touch on the hand from Jeff Bridges not only impregnates a woman, but also transitions her into a man.

I wake up each morning hairless, then I look into the mirror and speak the name Jeff Bridges three times. Instantly I’m transformed into a kind of human carpet covered from head to toe in three whole feet of man fur.

Tory voters say they prefer Tory government. There’s the real headline.

Understanding Senator Tuberville’s motivations is like peeling the layers of an onion, except that there’s only one layer and it’s racism.

I think the secret is it’s just one word that everyone knows. Democrats have a bad tendency to over-explain: “This book makes these 57 points and if you cross reference with these charts and apply this formula you’ll see….” Meanwhile, Trump will just say “what a loser.” Maybe Democrats are finally learning to keep it simple.

Yes people should want to make informed decisions, but maybe part of effective campaigning these days is accepting they don’t.

Mexican government data shows that at least 102,400 homicides have been reported in that period

Holy shit. I had no idea it was that bad.