like how curl in my head is "curl" and not "c-url"

Brain: "Eat"

Wallet: "Cook"

Aren't DOGE supposed to cut everyone a $5,000 check after getting rid of Woke from the federal government? Highly doubtful they 'saved' enough money to actually do that

Less gun control, more school shootings, more “thoughts and prayers”

I'm joking yeah - typically GOP & Company only cry about 1st amendment if it's applied against them

First amendment only applies to saying slurs and spreading conspiracies on the internet

Exercise or errands in the morning, no coffee, nap in the afternoon. Then I hit an energy drink and can go well into the night

Ban golf and replace all courses with public housing

We’ll have a chance to vote him out later this year.

I'm the former head of some former Soviet intelligence agency, too. We totally hired Trump in exchange for paying his debts, or something. Whatever you'll believe