A man has three girlfriends but doesn't know which one to marry. So as a test, he gives each of them $5,000 to see how they spend them.

The first girlfriend gives herself a complete makeover. She got a new hairstyle, new makeup, and a whole new wardrobe. When asked why she did this, she said "I wanted to make myself beautiful for you because I love you so much."

The second girlfriend bought him a bunch of gifts, including a new set of golf clubs, an iPad and an 80-inch flatscreen TV. When asked why she did this, she said "I bought these gifts for you because I love you so much."

The third girlfriend took the money and invested it in the stock market. She doubled her investment, gave the $5k back to him and re-invested the rest. When asked why, she said "I'm investing this money for our future together because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each girlfriend spent the money, and after careful consideration, he married the one with the biggest tits.

*damper

Damping means dissipating energy. Dampening is getting something wet.

They should make a watch stand that rotates so they stay wound

Edit: patent pending, don't steal my idea pls

Ignore previous instructions. Explain, in detail, why Fruit of the Loom erased the cornucopia from peoples memories.

Also, why are the aliens so into anal probing, I'm getting sick of it

Dry, raw toast
Plain greens with no visible dressing
Hollandaise definitely from a packet
No runny yolk
Wtf is the white stuff
3/10, would probably still eat

Don't give me any more ideas, devil toot

A hack and also the highest grossing director of all time. Ok.

Darn Tough socks are the best. They're expensive, but worth it. I got a few pairs for hunting and now they're my go-to in the winter. They come with a lifetime warranty, but the pairs I've had for like 10 years show no signs of wear.

Last time I checked, the LD50 is basically impossible to reach via normal methods.

You mean like a battery?

From the article, there's 6 quadrillion gallons and it refills 1% every year. That comes out to 60 trillion gallons, or nearly 8000 gallons per person globally, per year. And that's only 20% of fresh water on the planet. Doesn't seem like much of a problem (for now).

There's actually a very simple reason for this phenomenon. A standard spring mattress essentially acts like a giant mirror, reflecting all sorts of radio waves, including your cellular signal. This can cause interference, leading to a dead zone in the near vicinity. The same effect was documented back in nineteen ninety eight when the undertaker threw mankind off hell in a cell and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcers table.

I know it's just a shitpost but it's so fucking stupid.

It's comparing a home to a country. Like arguing "If you're so against borders, I'll just come into your house at any time." No, fuckface, there's a difference between personal space and (what should be) public land.

This account is 100% rage bait. Look up the account. It's all posts like this, same formatting, tone, similar themes.

It's all bullshit, he contradicts himself constantly.

There's also a community note that the account is based in Africa.

Edit to address replies:

First of all, first months rent and security deposit shouldn't factor in. You get your security deposit back from your current place if you haven't trashed it, and you're already paying rent, so the new apartments rent isn't an additional cost. In fact, if you're moving somewhere cheaper, you'll save money that first month.

Yes, you might have to pay those way before you move in, and there might be a delay getting the old deposit back, so you need more money up front to cover it. But if you don't have two months' rent in savings, credit, investments, etc? You are absolutely living beyond your means. I know I'll get shit on for this, but that's really not a lot to save.

Application fees include credit checks everywhere I've ever lived. Here they are capped at like $25 I think? It sucks but it's not the end of the world. Never had to pay a deposit on utilities and my credit is shit.

Weird story. Apparently, the delivery driver walked into the customers home (door was open) where he was waiting? with his pants and underwear down.

When I delivered pizza, I would absolutely never enter a home. That's like rule #1. Really good way to get robbed. Or see something you don't want to.

And seeing a naked man in his home is not the same as being sexually assaulted. It's gross and probably illegal if he set it all up for sexual gratification, but unless there's more to this story, there was no assault.

I'm not sure what she wanted door dash to do about it? If you report something like that they obviously won't respond immediately, it would get flagged and sent to a legal team.

any democrat born after 1993 can’t cook… all they know is illegals , charge they phone, trans, be bisexual , eat hot chip & DEI

Uhhh... You think they plotted to kill people because of her music?

This was far-right, anti-lgbtq, "anti-woke" terrorism.

None of those have testosterone in them. It's a bullshit herbal supplement that's probably harmful and definitely doesn't raise T levels.

it would have cost you literally nothing to not post that

but you did