I closed the tool palette in the illustration app of a coworker and replaced it with a same-size image of same.

Donald Trump was elected president of the United States.

Also wouldn’t have happened if it was someone bigger making the joke.

If it flies, look for a huge spike in stds

YOU’RE

Then your _________ is a cancer and needs to fail.

Right. "Don't ever make a mistake and nothing bad will ever happen."

Are you 100% sure of that?

Colonoscopy?

“Xitter,” pronounced “Shitter”

Ha! Didn’t even. Sad face.

Is it true that the name comes from the recursive, “Gnu’s Not Unix”?

9/11.

I didn’t think much about the dangers of religion and “faith” in general until then.

Living longer (and in better shape) means choosing quality of life over tradition and expectations of others.

Hopefully, everything “identity” that has made its way into just about everything.

I’d like to think that future kids might be amused/annoyed by parents still insisting on calling out race, gender, sexual orientation, etc., as the most meaningful aspects of Who Someone Is…or even things they, “should be proud of.”

I work (part time/retired) for a nonprofit that coordinates and connects volunteer tutors with kids experiencing homelessness.

Never occurred to me (before I signed on) that kids in shelters or on the streets are still going to school while having to deal with no consistent “home” to do homework, irregular/unreliable sleep schedules, absent or overwhelmed parents, etc. Most Volunteer Tutors become important positive role models and a reliably supportive, adult presence in their lives, and the value is immeasurable.

I mostly help the org with marketing material — including editing videos with heartfelt testimonials and Thank-You messages from students — and I swear, most of the time I can barely hold it together to get the work done!

Some great advice here already! So I’m going to suggest something novel:

Consider “settling,” just a tiny bit. What I mean is, don’t be so quick to assess someone new as A Partner…potential or otherwise. Try letting gals in who are attractive enough and carry themselves well, seem sane, easy going, smart, etc. Shared values, that sort of thing. A female friend with potential, if you will. See where it goes; be open to being surprised, pleasantly or otherwise.

I’ve seen so many younger men “auditioning” mates with unrealistic expectations about “clicking” or “just knowing” — and winding up as older bachelors who have never even had a chance to practice being in a relationship.

Yes, like literally anything else worth doing/having, it takes practice!

"Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Life either a daring adventure or nothing.”

• Helen Keller

Existenz …one of Cronenberg’s most fun imho.

Chicken shit moves always deserve an apology.