Ok, the mosquito is emberassed after tripping over the stick and hides under the rock until it whithers away from shame.

There's one simple trick to avoid all of this shit, leave the US and go to Columbia, they don't have vagrancy laws there. Hitch hike to Mexico, then pass through Central America until you reach Panama City. Then you need to cross the Darien Gap, this is about a 100 kilometers of roadless jungle that lies between Columbia and Panama. Wether you die or survive, you will be free.

My father bought me one for my birthday and it broke my heart. I'd been saving up for a camera for ages and I'd just bought a canon rebel but I only had a kit lens and I thought my father had finally taken in interest in me and my hobbies. Now it's nothing but I remember silently crying in my room under my bed sheets while worried that my family would find out I wasn't happy with my birthday gift.

What if James Bond did a pdrn mask every time he was supposed to drink and smoke and every time he was supposed have a villain try to torture him he got HIFU instead?

Advanced classes means slightly less stupid. This makes me think of Beijing University. A lot of kids who were considered the brightest and the best in their little towns their parents would go into debt and borrow money from others in the town to send them to Beijing University.

When the kids arrived they'd discover they weren't as smart as they thought they were and they'd flunk out despite studying as hard as they could. And instead of returning home and embarrassing their parents in front of the other townspeople they'd kill themselves.

I've had people come by and try that shit. "oh, that's no problem. I can wait until you get the other twenty." "I really can't because blah blah but I can help you get it off your hands now!" "oh no, that's fine. I don't mind waiting. Plus we would both feel bad if you paid twenty. You would be robbing me!" "Blah blah." "Oh, it's just 20 dollars?" "Blah blah." "Oh no, I'm not as rich as you!" "Blah blah" " You know what? I like you but I really can't do that!" "Blah blah blah" "Then what's 20 dollars between friends?" "Exactly!" "Blah blah blah!" "Wow, I never considered that but you're gonna make me look bad in front of my wife. I have to think of my family." "blah blah." "oh yes of course, blah blah." "blah, blah, blah." "You're right I could use that twenty to get my wife something nice right now but really I'm not selling. We're saving up. There's an ATM around the corner." "Blah blah blah." "Banking fees? Of course, I didn't consider that. That wasn't very thoughtful of me! I don't mind holding on to it for you, if you want you can leave twenty behind as a deposit" "Blah blah blah." "No, you have my number plus you know where I live. We're both honest men or are we not?" "Blah blah blah?" "Yeah, I gotta get up early too. Maybe a cup of coffee before you go?" "blah blah blah." "Two sugars and no milk? No problem!"

It's the reason I stopped doing garage sales.

These are well known stories but like with every tragedy everyone always thinks: "This won't happen to me, because I'm different."

Obviously the woman has cancer and has only a week to live, but the husband is a world class esports athlete and he promised an entire ward of kids with cancer that he'd win the championship.

But the husband has cancer too and this is the last time that he can play before his eyes need to be surgically removed. But he doesn't know that his wife made a deal with the devil, if she can get the husband to stop playing games then Satan will erase cancer from the world and the entire ward of children will be instantly healed.

But if her husband finds out about this deal he will instantly kill everyone. This is a very complex situation.

That website is funded and maintained by snow leopards, don't fall for their propoganda.

You rent each number on your ssn individually, if you miss a payment then you lose a random number. When you only have 1 number left you get sent to an island where you have to kill 8 people. For every person killed you get their respective number, if you manage to kill 8 then your new ssn is composed out of their numbers.

If your new ssn is a duplicate of an existing number then a duel is arranged between you and the existing holder of said number unless either party pays the ssn company 9 million dollars for a new number.

That's one hell of a month

Just piss over your hands like the rest of us, that's plenty clean.

You download limewire and then you use that to download a pirated copy of limewire pro.

You made me laugh, that cost me a couple of calories. I'm sending you a tikkie for 5 cents.

You're taking it way too literal. Some women think it's romantic when you ask their father for permission to marry them. If she wants you to do this, she'll likely tell you. The same way you'd discuss whether she wants her father to walk her down the aisle. These practices aren't necessarily bad or toxic.

If you are in a healthy committed relationship you talk about these sorts of things, there's no right or wrong. On the other hand, I do agree with you that it would be really weird and creepy to ask a father permission to marry his daughter behind her back.

I just blow my load in my jeans, if you let it build up then it has the same effect as starch. Keeps them nice and crisp.

I'd say an average of two divorced house wives, one assistant school teacher, one confused undergrad and half a random barrista per year.

I'm not Jewish but we already have a toy like that, it's called the economy.

You're wrong, this is obviously a reference to Shakespeare's Taming of the Shrew. In act 2, Scene 1 Petruchio says to Katherine: "Who knows where a wasp does wear his sting - In his tail." After a back and forth Petruchio says: "What, with my tongue in your tail! Nay, come again, Good Kate, I am a gentleman." This comic clearly swaps the roles of Petruchio and Katherine to say something very profound about our society, definitely not a dumb horny comic

Be happy she gives a shit, if you're not careful one day the questions will stop coming.