I feel like what's missing is the magnitude of each of these versus the others

1. A house is not an asset if it's the one place you can live cost-free in retirement.
2. We all pay into the system with our taxes - including someone who earned enough to afford a home. Why should anyone not benefit from the taxes they paid?
3. Anyone can be sick and in long-term care as they age, including ourselves. As we age, we may not be able to keep working. Those costs add up fast in our healthcare system. And we don't get to make those choices up front for ourselves or our families. The bills come months if not years later. No one says what you owe until it's too late. Why should anyone pay a cost they weren't told would be coming?

I can't argue that the way the US provides many services based off wealth is fair - I believe we should have a universal system that we all benefit from. Why should someone making less than me get better services than me because my job offers worse insurance than they get? We should all benefit.

But, if the choice is that no one benefits or that of our current system. I'll choose our current system. Because I don't know if I'll be the one on the other side 40 years from now.

Thank you fellow human!

Not quite an idiom but term of endearment: petit chou in French is little cabbage but is often used for young kids...

What part of California?

I've read over 50 books since the start of the year. I only buy a book after I've read it 2-3 times. How? Sign up at your local library! (And keep signing up wherever you can get proof of residence; I've managed to collect 4 library cards.) And then find whatever system they have for borrowing e-books (mine work well with Libby). I've found that I almost never lack for books. A kindle or e-reader could be a good investment to limit screen time; you can download library e books onto them auite often.

Browsing the physical library is more fun than browsing online for books. Just pick the covers you like, check if the summary sounds fun, and give it a shot. Never feel guilty if you don't read a book you checked out or put a hold on. Sometimes it just doesn't sound as good two days later.

Thanks. I've been very angry out of a feeling of complete helplessness. I'm reading a book about data bias in relation to gender (invisible women) and it's hitting a lot of sore points that come up being in an office that's 10% female... There's four of us.

Wyoming

But just perspective

Yes. It's always a good question to ask yourself:

Would you rather be effective or be right?

Congrats! That is so many tasks and so many times refocusing! I hope you gave yourself permission to celebrate such a huge win!

I don't have ADHD - but as I've heard commonly expressed by women... Stress about unfulfilled tasks makes getting and staying in a zone where sex feels possible and enjoyable so much harder. I can only assume ADHD makes trying to refocus on the moment extra challenging.

I used Libby. (Just go grab a local library card and see if you can dig up any old library cards from anywhere else you've lived... You can have multiple libraries linked.) Also great for audiobooks.

Hey! I'm part of a trend!

Keeping it under 10-12k total. Biggest splurges so far are 1.5k custom tailored three piece suit and 1.6k for photographer to cover the entire day without hour limits. Food will be about half the total cost.

But grocery store flowers, digital invites, thrifted dress, basic rings, picnic area ceremony and restaurant rehearsal. No DJ. No alcohol. No florist.

Yep! And every employer that has offered has had some kind of match.

I've rolled all my 401ks over with each new job.

I also have an IRA from money I saved towards retirement while working in Canada for 18 months. I took the tax penalty up front since I'll probably be US based for majority of my life. But I did earn a match while working in Canada.

Current employer gives 4% fully vested.

Contributing 20% of income at the moment (30 to) and hoping to retire before 60.

Southwest.

Because I'm terrible at being on time and it's nice to know I can just cancel as long as they haven't taken off and not lost the money. Also not paying extra for luggage. And their airport is best for my parents place.

My native French speaking mom will occasionally address my non-french speaking husband in French without realizing unless I tell her and even then she only knows because I've told her.

I'd love to buy your condos - but if we look at renting versus buying... It's cheaper to rent versus buy until mortgage rates drop below 6%. We'll just be sitting here adding to the mortgage payment pile until then.

A house is laughably out of reach.

I recommend some John Green and Hang Green and vlogbrother videos. Remember the news reports on the catastrophic now... Not the slow incremental progress required to improve the world. But good things are still happening and good people are still working to make those good things happen.

Chances are (forgive me if I'm wrong as this obviously doesn't apply to every person) you are fed, warm, and sheltered. You can reach out to friends and family across town or across continents and connect in real time. As much as everything FEELS like the world is going to end... ignore what you need to in order to be your best self. Help where you can, give money to the things you care about when you can, and remember that humanity has done some really cool things.

I had a fun adventure where I purchased my dress even before we booked our venue or photographer or ANYTHING.

But I was moving away from the west coast and it was my last chance at Brides for a Cause... the dress I had tried on a month before was still there. And I couldn't walk away a second time.

Thankfully, it was under budget ($180 out of budgeted $300 for my outfit). My mom agreed she'd cover alterations and dry cleaning. I walked out with it that day! (Stuffed in my suitcase because I was on my way to the airport!)

I love buns nestled into pillows!!