Nope, don't think I like this. No one should have to materially change themselves to conform to a relationship. That's a clear lack of boundaries on their part. At the same time, no one should have to allow themselves to be abused (or poked).

Recognizing when something isn't working, or there are just too many incompatibilies, is a sign of self awareness and personal growth.

This image doesn't show a healthy relationship dynamic, and I think that just needs to be acknowledged.

You're referring to the Epicurean Paradox

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epicurean_paradox

Interesting. I don't find that's the case at all. I'm certainly not "stacked", yet I've managed to find two partners that I absolutely adore. They each have other partners as well.

I'm pretty sure being open, honest, and vulnerable with a high EQ is far more important than having great abs. Don't get me wrong, I'm going to the gym when I can, but real open relationships are about more than sex appeal and jealousy.

Thank you for this. The imposter syndrome is real, especially starting what were some larger subreddits (gifs, coolguides, Shiba, and helping with Today I Learned). It's been fun and I'm super happy to see the interactions and genuine conversation. We're certainly our own community, and I'm so happy the fediverse is growing into something I can easily burn time on here and there.

So far, I've found conversation here to be rather civil. I imagine it's due to good moderation, a small user base, and no bots. Enjoy the peace and quiet for the time being, but be sure to report any of that stuff to the mods.

Additional context and sources

USS Lincoln Sailors Attempted to Jump Overboard Amid Extended Iran Deployment, Families Say

https://ground.news/article/uss-lincoln-sailors-attempted-to-jump-overboard-amid-extended-iran-deployment-families-say_4a6ccb

Great question. The main point that's shaped my view on it, is that no person owes me their time, and I can't own them.

My partner and I have been together for 7 years, and started off as non-mono (CNM Poly). We've always respected each other's autonomy and independence. During that time, we developed a stable, loving relationship, and encouraged each other to meet other people. I understand that she owes me nothing, and I can't control her time or who she spends her time with. This was established at the beginning, so expectations were managed properly from the start.

That being said, we both choose to stay together. We've been through hell in the last 7 years, and I wouldn't do it with anyone else. I'm comfortable knowing she'll continue to be with me, despite her other relationships. Even if she decides this waa no longer a relationship she wanted to be in, it would suck and I would be heartbroken, but I would survive, and eventually be okay.

Another core belief is that we can't possibly expect one person to meet all of our needs. This is a completely unreasonable expectation. It's suffocating, and puts way too much pressure on your partner. We both have other people in our lives that help to round out our relationships.

The biggest thing for me is that ever single person involved intentionally chooses to be in the relationship they're in. They're not in the relationship due to a default, or expectation from a mono normative society. They're making the intentional choice to do what makes them happy.

I'd be happy to answer any questions you might have about the topic. This is something near and dear to me, and respectful curiosity from others always sparks joy in me.

I'm all for any person practising whatever relationship style they want. What im against is using people to fulfill your needs/wants. Have fun, meet people, enjoy experiences, but please dont make people your experiments. You may enjoy "the chase", but the long term effects on those individuals may have further impacts.

I won't fully agree with all the other comments that OP is not a nice person for doing this. We all have our motivations, methods, and reasoning. That being said, considering the fact that other humans have feelings and desires helps to mitigate that main character syndrome.

I went from 15 years of lurking to making several communities and modding a couple others. This is definitely the most I've ever been engaged in online communications. I love it!

Please feel free to share these resources, and any others you deem important. Suicide risk is not something to take lightly.

• https://www.suicideinfo.ca/resources/
• https://suicideprevention.ca/
• https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/suicide-prevention.html
• https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/news/2023/11/9-8-8-suicide-crisis-helpline.html
• https://www.camh.ca/en/professionals/treating-conditions-and-disorders/suicide-risk/suicide---resources
• https://mentalhealthcommission.ca/suicide-prevention-toolkits/

a) Nobody should ever need someone to make them feel complete.

b) What happens when the man (or partner) isn't in a rut? Is his partner still the "Queen"? He doesn't need anyone for the highs along with the lows?

This kind of toxic "traditional" crap is what leads to relationships where one or both partners feel trapped and obligated to stay in the relationship. What if, hear me out, all involved partners are treated like equals and human beings, all of the time!?

"Can't handle me at my worst, don't deserve me at my best". Cut the shit. Grow up. Be better. Be accountable.

Supporting your partner is real, and I'm here for that. Making then dependant on you is not.

ISO 8601 for the win!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/ISO_8601

Agreed! I don't need an endless supply of content, just enough for coffee and bathroom breaks. There's plenty to catch up on in that time. Plus, there are still relevant news stories and happenings, so the fomo is kept at bay.

I'm 100% in support of researching weird stuff that pops into my brain, as it often does. I've gone down some rabbit hole recently, and have lost hours to fascinating research.

-rant- I'm a little concerned that no one's mentioned how invasive it is to not only look at someone's phone over their shoulder, but to also take a picture, especially if they're relaxing at home (which seems to be the case).

I don't mean to make mountains of molehills, but I believe we're entitled to what little privacy we have left. If I'm reading up on the different varieties of sea cucumbers, I don't need my partner posting it online. -/rant-

Arguably, this entire community could be considered an advertisement for Plex....

This is a bit weird. I was just listening to Infinity 2 today (great book. Totally recommend), and there's a section where the characters use Benford's Law to prove reality. I then had to look it up myself.

Just a super weird coincidence...unless Lemmy is listening to me...

Why is there an outline of a chicken cutlet on Saturn?

The amazing 'discovery' was apparently made when they opened up Artyom Sidorkin, 28, to remove what they thought was a serious tumour.

Mr Sidorkin had complained of extreme pain in his chest and had been coughing up blood. Doctors were convinced he had cancer.

"We were 100 per cent sure," said Vladimir Kamashev, a surgeon in Izhevsk in the Urals. "We did X-rays and found what looked exactly like a tumour.

"I had seen hundreds before, so we decided on surgery."

Before removing part of the man's lung, the surgeon investigated the tissue.

"I thought I was hallucinating," said Mr Kamashev. "I asked my assistant to have a look: 'Come and see this – we've got a fir tree here'. He nodded in shock. I blinked three times as I was sure I was seeing things."

Medical staff said that Mr Sidorkin must have inhaled a seed, which later sprouted into a small fir tree inside his lung.

The spruce, which was said to be touching the man's capillaries and causing severe pain, was removed.

"It was very painful. But to be honest I did not feel any foreign object inside me," said Mr Sidorkin. "I'm so relieved it's not cancer."

There was no independent verification of the surgeon's claims.

Mint with Cinnamon is my daily driver on my desktop and laptop for almost 3 years now. I ran a company for a while using Linux and managed to find everything I needed for software to run administration. It was great. I still have a windows tablet for troubleshooting and equipment specific requests, but I always feel weird logging into it.

I've been playing around with it a bit as well and came to a similar conclusion. I think there is bound to be multiple versions of an instance, but much like on Reddit, the strong will survive. Good content, moderation, and server capacity will lead to one instance being able to support a larger user base. I'm excited to see a little diversity as new communities and instances emerge, challenging the long-running status quo.

Regarding the individual running instances, I think the same applies. I also choose to use Lemmy as a means of communication and sharing of ideas, not data storage. If I really want to keep something, I turn it into a Google Doc or store it on another service. Either way, this doesn't concern me too much.

I'm looking forward to being a little less of a lurker and join in on the conversation!