Some schools called this a playground ball but we called it a “utility ball” where I went and anyway the smaller version could also be boobies

If you do your hair up with 2 forks you look like a dumb dumb whereas if you use chopsticks you look like somebody who saw a life hack video or post

THERE! ARE! FOUR! THE GAMES!

I done seent this guy when sleep-paralyzed, but in my case it was my brain misinterpreting a coat hanging on my bedroom door

The aggressive algae all had tiny little stiletto knives and leather jackets

Billions and billions of taxes

\S

Turnp be line I’m here to shit my pants and be a giant baby and I have great news on both of those fronts

A red hot chili man puts a sock on his noodle and crosses the road

Y’all, have toxic friends.

Looks like your crazy friend has never heard of the gas chain

Back in the day I used to grab a handful of free dongjackets from the bowl of adult cereal down at the planned parenthood

This is like a yo momma joke. Yr prez is so fat they had to invent a new type of triple-ozempic

Keep picking bigger and bigger fights, Cochise

Regional slang, not used a ton anymore, basically means “duder” or bro, most often in a dismissive way. A verbal eye-roll.

This joke also works for “how MP3s were named on limewire back in the day”

I made a cat-powered MLEM in a game that has cats in it to prove that those furry bois are pettable

I thought it was a spring with a boxing glove on the end at first but this is cool too… I GUESS

Elon started typing “free speech apartheidist” but saw the autocorrect and just went with it

That last sentence proves it ain’t him b/c he’s only horked on more poundage over the last year