Links re: Ottawa. Can't answer your questions from personal experience but these folks should have some answers. There's some emails along with phone numbers.

https://ottawamission.com/programs/emergency-shelter/

https://www.sghottawa.com/

http://www.ottawaboothcentre.org/?ID=55

https://211central.ca/record/93528421/

Anybody who has more resources for Ottawa, feel free to add them to this comment - what I have above is men focused, I know there's other options for women and youth.

Some opinions as someone who has been on the other side of this:

1. Recognize that if she decides to not divorce you, from now on, no matter what you do, how much of a new leaf you turn, etc., there will always be at least a little bit of doubt about you. That feeling when you find out you've been cheated on by a long-term partner never quite goes away - it gets smaller and less nagging, but never completely disappears. If you want to stay with your wife, you're gonna have to accept this.

My discovery happened almost a decade ago. I would have been well within my rights to dump her ass and never talk to her again, but I didn't. I thought it was at least worth trying to stick around and see if we could work things out before doing that, given we made that whole "till death do we part" oath and were still breathing. She was not owed this - I did that for me. Things are better, and we are in a much, much better place than we were. Still, this pops to mind at least once a day, and has every day since it happened.

1. Go see a couple's therapist yesterday - first, to create a venue where she can express her feelings about all of this, what she wants to do, and what she needs; next to start having an open, 100% honest discussion about where your head is at and behaviours, and finally to start shopping tools for completely transparent communication going forward. Treat this seriously and pay fucking close attention.

2. Follow this up with some therapy for yourself - very few people choose to cheat because they're loving life. Start identifying where you need to work your own shit out. Again, take this deadly seriously. Encourage her to do the same.

3. 100%, no exceptions, complete and utter honesty and transparency going forward. She wants to see your phone? Hand it over. She wants to know where you're going/what you're doing? Tell her, with proof. She wants you to have a tracking app? You download that shit. She wants the nastiest details about what the hell happened? Do warn her you're concerned it will hurt even more, but if she wants to hear it anyway you tell her. By dint of your actions, you've lost your right to both be in the relationship and keep a self-defined level of privacy - if you don't like it, start looking at divorce. If you two start healing, the need for this kind if stuff may start to diminish as the level of trust comes back up.

4. Check in with her, often. How she's feeling, what she needs, etc. Pay attention, respect it even if it involves something that may hurt you emotionally. Do NOT throw shit in her face - keep in mind, YOU'RE the one who fucked up, and who now wants to move on with her as your partner. She just discovered her husband did one of the shittiest things a spouse can do to someone they claim to love. It's a very different experience.

5. You could do everything right, do all the therapy, open communication, working on yourself and the relationship you want. If she decides that she can't do it, she can't. Recognize this. Accept this. She doesn't owe you shit.

Not gonna lie to you man - you have a tough row to hoe. I will say, with time and a shit ton of work, it's possible to remain together, and both of you be happy about it. But there will now always be a pre-cheating and post-cheating division when thinking about your marriage. The goal, if you are remaining together, is to build something much better and stronger than what you had before. That may happen, that may not. But putting the work in gives the greatest probability of success.

Best of luck to you - seriously, you fucked up, and fucked up BIG, but we are all human, and therefore liable to fuck up. No matter what the outcome of all this is, learn from it and grow.

You kid, but as an Canadian Anglophone, this is what I do any time I have to send an email to someone with a French name with an accented character.

Yes, I know the special character menu is a thing, but I have shit to do.

It is 100% how military orders work. Members have an obligation to not carry out unlawful orders. I've yet to hear of any NATO aligned force where this isn't drilled into people's heads from the get-go.

Granted, given the state of the law in the U.S. these days...we'll have to see how things go down.

This already exists at some libraries! Example: https://collections.biblioottawalibrary.ca/en/musical-instruments

1. All humans have an inherent value.
2. Depression has numerous contributing environmental, social, and biological factors.
3. Who asked bitch? Shut your dumb ass up.

Honestly, this was the comment that exposed me (regular office rube) to binary search as a concept and it is so. fucking. helpful.

Someone got really drunk and was in the bathroom willing to take all comers at a work function.

It was a shame, I liked working with them.

That user's name? Jesus Christ.

I...simply don't know what to make of this. I'm a guy who finds himself thinking about the male loneliness epidemic a lot, and never in terms of finding a romantic/sexual partner. It's always about solid platonic bonds outside of that and kin, and factors that make those harder to find and maintain these days.

Is this just a shitpost and I'm too stupid to get the joke?

I am reasonably certain I have been to the theatre where she went down on that guy.

This is the most interesting fact about my life.

Does it? If you set up an instance for your local community/city/whatever, and name it something that makes sense for your intended userbase, I think it would be fine.

It goes from "I sold my couch on FlohMarkt" to "I sold my couch on Local Ottawa Marketplace" for the 'normies' out there. They're not going to care about the underlying software so long as their couch gets sold.

Do recommend a DIY local advertising strategy if trying to get something like this running, though - posters at IRL flea markets, adverts in small community papers for antiques and collectibles, crossposts/links to postings on stuff like MaxSold/Kijiji/Craigslist/GumTree/FB Marketplace/[insert online marketplace operating in your area] by first adopters, that kind of thing.

Focus on the current primary use case of centralized marketplace services (buying shit from your neighbours), then introduce the "Oh yeah, we've also set it up so you can see postings on Local Toronto Marketplace, Local Kingston Marketplace, Marché Local de Montréal" etc. from there.

I really, really think talking to people in terms of specific instances over the overarching platform/protocol is a way around 'normie' confusion about the Fediverse when first trying it, then getting exposure to how it works in practice will help them understand the nitty gritty stuff better. Is this problematic in some cases, like with Lemmy? A little bit, yeah. For something like FlohMarkt? I think less so.

('normie' in quotes 'cause I'm not the biggest fan of the term, but it's a useful shorthand)

Forget her, you did good and now know all the important stuff if someone else has a similar ask.

But fr sex tape is much easier, shibari's a skill that takes practice and knowledge to avoid injury, particularly if you want to start getting fancy.

I don't know what it is, but aside from the side effects of nicotine addiction and access problems in these spaces(which, whatever, I get it), transportation hubs (airports, train stations, ferry terminals, etc.) are my favourite places to be.

Welcome to my thoughts after my (adult) stepson gave me one of the infused joints their biodad got them for Christmas.

...well, the day after I smoked it anyway. What I actually thought during was "Well, since I'm obviously going to die tonight the beanbag chair isn't such a bad place to do it."

Had a conversation with my stepson afterwards where they said they were smoking very infrequently due to how it impacted their anxiety. I said "Well yeah, you're not smoking weed, you're smoking joints that can't actually kill you but try their damnedest anyway. I've had mushroom trips that were easier on the ol' noggin."

Yep!

Only thing I want to see after a ? in a youtube url is t=4m20s

Idk, I always thought of it as a modern take on Walden . A cautionary tale for those folks who get really hyped up about a life in the bush who forget the crucial fact that Thoreau was on a friend's property and got more meaningful support from people than the book really lets on.

One of those "Yes, lots of people feel like you do, AP English guy, but don't think you'll make it on vibes alone and not die like a dumbass" kind of things. Appreciated it differently at 16 and 20.

Then you got neat little fiefdoms too, like Irvingland - whoops, I mean New Brunswick.

Be nꙮt afraid