Where are the best places to make new friends who happen to be in the community? I don't really have any non-straight friends, and there no gay bar/clubs,/etc in this area at all, as I live in the south. My whole life, I've felt like an outsider living on an island. I'm 34, so it feels like I wasted my opportunities. I always hear stuff like, it being impossible to make connections after 30..is that just nonsense, or is it really like that?

It's a little after nine in the morning in Provo, Utah. And this morning, in a county government building here, a man sits down at a desk and opens a laptop. He isn't a bishop. He isn't a judge. He works for the county clerk. And according to his calendar, he is marrying people today. A lot of people. Nobody is in the room. No bride, no groom, no parents, no flowers, no mormons. There are two witnesses, because Utah law insists on two adults over eighteen. Then he clicks "join". A couple appears on the screen. It's already evening where they are. Nine hours ahead. Before he can marry them, the State of Utah now requires him to read them a sentence - one that was written into the law this year. "A marriage solemnized according to the laws of the State of Utah through online remote appearance may be invalid in the country where the parties to the marriage reside." Which seems weird and unromantic, especially on a wedding day. Unless you know where the couple is. They are not in Utah. They are not in the United States. They're in Tel Aviv. He marries them anyway. They say yes from Israel, the certificate is issued in Utah and posted across the Atlantic. Then the next couple appears. Also from Israel. Then the next. And the next. This one clerk's office has married couples from China, Kenya, Azerbaijan, Madagascar. But Israelis are the biggest foreign group using it by a distance: about three thousand couples in 2024 alone, roughly one in every three foreign couples Utah County marries. So: why are thousands of Israelis, every year, getting married by a government clerk in the most Mormon corner of the most religious state in America - over a video call, in a country most of them have never set foot in? And why does the State of Israel have to recognize their marriage when Utah does?

I'm a gay man in his 40s and a very amateur composer of music.

I didn't set out to write a musicale anthem to queer questioning and self-discovery, but it kind-of happened. I actually wrote the music first, with no idea what the lyrics would involve. Something in the melody stirred teenage memories of confusion, horniness, anger, and hope, and then the lyrics spilled out.

The music won't be to everyone's taste – we have vocals, strings, and guitar in a musical-number arrangement – but I wanted to post it in case it does reach someone with whom it chimes. Particularly if that someone needs a message of hope.

(Aside: I can't sing. I also can't play the violin, cello, or guitar. I write all my music in MuseScore and various synthesisers play what I write, with increasing levels of accuracy. In the case of vocals, I use Cantai, an ethical AI synthesis platform; ethical in the sense that all artists contributing training data did so in full knowledge of the fact. However, it's still AI, and I know some people hold strong opinions. I wrote every note and every word. If you still object, then this song may not be for you.)

for the record, i've always been kind of a mess in terms of gender. i'm afab and was raised a girl until i discovered that i didn't have to be a girl in 2020 with the boom in lgbtqia+ campaigns and visibility. i consider most of what i do as a girl a performance, and i don't ever think being a woman fully stuck with me like cis people. add to that, my extreme loneliness and just isolation from being odd socially was suddenly cured when i started crossdressing on roblox. it felt nice to be referred to as a man, but over time it was really limiting my options because i was constantly scared of being outed or seen as gay. i also enjoyed being feminine from time to time and being restricted of that didn't feel great. so i usually blocked all my roblox friends and lived in hyperfeminity for a while until the dysphoria hits me again. for me dysphoria feels like a vague sense of discontent and longing for something different. it feels like having to force a bland porridge down in order to not starve. when it was from a man's perspective, i would look at women with jealousy for the freedom to be expressive, but i'm not sure if i wanted to be them for longer than a day or two. the dysphoria is different for each side. add to that, my internal sense of everything leaned more non binary. i liked gendered expression, but at my absolute core i am a being that can't be described with words. i mean how can you explain what a soul's flavor is like? anyway, i was cycling like that (i was non binary, genderfluid, genderflux, ftm, blah blah blah) from late elementary school till early-mid high school, for that matter.

i decided recently on going with an identity that's transmasc and occasionally dresses/acts feminine. i figured i've gotten so used to being masculine i might as well just pick a gender "home" in masculinity, and venture out to feminity whenever being masculine wasn't cutting it. i picked a name after thinking about it for a while (andrew) and i've kind of fully basked in this state of being.

the problem is i get a sense of foreboding when i think about my new name and a slight sense of being limiting. the foreboding could be explained that i actually have a lot of past names over the years from identifying as a guy online, and none of them sticked. maybe this is anxiety because i don't fully believe it will stick based on past experience. limiting is because it's a full-masc name. if i were to dress as a girl again i'd be outed by my name. could i just use my birth name (anna) in that case? i don't know.

another problem is i'm looking at binders, boxers, and heavyweight cotton t-shirts for myself, and even thinking about T. i feel a bit caught off guard, and i'm starting to think that maybe i don't really want to be a man but a woman with a man exterior (whatever that means..), or that i'm a girl in denial, or that i won't be able to go back if i buy the binder. i don't really want to have a full beard or be hairy for that matter. i'd rather look slightly feminine. maybe i'm modeling it too much based on what i've read in manhwas than reality, idk. i also "check" for feelings i get whenever i switch between the two names, and anna feels like i can breathe and warms me up a bit, but andrew feels slightly intoxicating and heavy (i have OCD, so sometimes i based things off their feelings as a decision). i don't know if this means i should only live as a guy online, or if i should switch the two roles (be feminine in game, and irl be masculine). i'm just so confused and nervous.

i'm really scared that the name i seem to love so much will become my ball and chain, especially if i come out (planning on coming out soon) and they accept my new identity.

i guess only time will tell if it's just a phase this time or not.

Reminds me of the Green Book

Leading up to the 2015 landmark Supreme Court decision, Obergefell v. Hodges, which made marriage equality a federal right, sociologist Mark Regnerus published controversial research titled the “New Family Structures Study”. Regnerus, who is forthcoming about the fact that his Catholic faith shapes his practice as a social scientist, published the study in 2012 in the journal Social Science Research.

The study purported that children raised by a parent in a same-gender relationship are at greater risk of negative psychosocial outcomes in adulthood compared to children raised by straight parents. The study was funded primarily by The Witherspoon Institute and The Bradley Foundation, both far-right interest groups that actively lobby against LGBTQ+ rights, and was viewed by many political commentators as a blatant effort by both groups to influence the Supreme Court’s decision in several high-profile cases, including Obergefell v. Hodges.

While the study eventually fell out of social commentary in the United States, today’s “Greater Than” movement, a coalition of prominent anti-LGBTQ+ lobbyists and political figures, has utilized it as one of its primary motivations to overturn Obergefell v. Hodges.

In 2025, the Witherspoon Institute, which funded Regnerus’s study, released an op-ed, conveniently in its own publication, claiming there is “new vindication” for the study because AI has supposedly allowed for a more accurate interpretation of his data. Meanwhile, the writer conveniently avoids the elephant in the room: The allegation that Regenerus manipulated his data to suit his own theological worldview.

Not seeing how marriage equality giving tax benefits to marriage, inheritance law, or preference is buying a home inherently links to child upbringing. How does the freedom of association link to raising children?

Cross-posted from "Banned Gay Dating Apps Blued and Finka Remove LGBT Features to Comply With Regulations" by @[email protected] in ![email protected]

Blued and Finka, two Chinese gay dating apps that were removed from major app stores several months ago, have both recently pushed updates that hide users' sexual role labels (1/0/0.5/side) and profile signatures.

On Blued, users must now navigate to a private chat to view another user's role and signature; filtering by role on the main page is no longer available. The app's official notice describes the change as being "in compliance with regulatory requirements, to better protect the privacy of your social interactions."

Finka has gone further, disabling the role-setting feature entirely. Its update notice states the changes were made "to ensure a better experience for all users and to keep the platform running stably for the long term."

Both apps' main versions remain unavailable on app stores. However, Blued's lite client, "Blued极速版" (Blued Lite), can still be downloaded across major app stores — though the recent changes have triggered a flood of one-star reviews, pushing its rating on the Chinese Apple App Store down to 1.9 at the time of writing.

Users have also reported that profile pictures containing rainbow elements are now flagged as violations on Blued.

According to unverified reports circulating online, China's latest regulatory requirements are pressuring same-sex social apps to "de-label" themselves and rebrand as "ordinary social/dating apps."

Okay, so I would label myself a late twenties autistic woman who is bi and personally recently realized I also perceive myself as agender. Which I know is non-binary, but I also enjoy the external perception as female from society due to not particularly caring how others perceive me inheriting as a female. Hence landing on the label of women over enby. I working on the inner acceptance, but it's a label a the end of the day for me for this particular issue.

Anyway, introductions aside, I have a couple of questions about the Ace experience. I've flirted with the idea that I might be ace, but i also don't fully relate to the ace experience as I understand it to be a lack of interest/desire for sex. And I'm also weighing in the religious guilt/trauma around sex that may be the cause of feeling disconnected with sex.

I understand ace to be a lack of interest in sex/no or low sexual desire/no or low libido/sexual disgust/a general disinterest in sex.

I find sex to be overwhelming and kinda scary for the senses. Easy to get overwhelmed and mentally dissociate. I like the idea of sex, I read smut novels all the time, I want to be in a sexual romantic relationship because I like the idea of it. Reality wise, I don't crave sex. Like I have a low libido, it doesn't occur to me to initiate sex in a relationship generally. Like I literally look at partners, appreciate how amazing they look and don't get turned on. I am attracted to them, I get turned on when I realize I'm being flirted with and being mushy. But I have to be explicitly told in some way by my partner to realize I can be in romantic mental mode. Like sexual desire doesn't come from within me, I need a cue to play the role. I don't think i have a general disinterest in sex, but instead a lack of initial interest.

Does that make me ace? I don't think so, but i also relate to the ace experience. Even though I do like sex, i don't inheritly want sex and i would be generally satisfied in a mostly sexless relationship if my partner prefers that.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/46430614

Duration - 3:00

[a video about Cuba from the news collective Belly Of The Beast]

Being a trans athlete means carrying more than gloves. It means carrying expectations, fear and responsibility. Malik speaks openly about facing transphobia and machismo in Sanda’s sport, being pushed past ethical boundaries and the pressure of being the first, knowing that others will come after him. Malik reminds us that trans people don’t need to prove anything. Their existence is already enough.

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/45996681

Duration - 2:49  [a video about Cuba from the news collective Belly Of The Beast]

Ely Malik is a trans Sanda kickboxer in Cuba who speaks about progress, shortages in health care, community survival, race and what it means to transition in front of the people who raised you. This isn’t just a story about fighting in the ring. It’s about fighting to exist, to be respected and to live truthfully — even when the world makes that dangerous.

Hi guysss! I am new and I am a demi girl and bisexualll.... I lowkey js wanna make friends on here and join a online community

So, the TVTropes page states him to be Ambiguously Bi, as he is confirmed to have a female love interest (Squilvia) but not confirmed to have any male love interests explicitly stated. However, though I haven't seen the Sandy Cheeks movie, there is an instance, apparently, of him finding Sandy's brother Randy so attractive that he faints. A Sexypedia article claims that as of "Saving Bikini Bottom: A Sandy Cheeks Movie, Squidward is canonically bisexual, as he is seen openly simping for fellow Sexyman Randy Cheeks. Squidward's bisexuality should not come as a surprise to most fans of the show, or anyone who has seen certain theories regarding him."

In Squisery from Kamp Koral, there is the following scene of Patrick and Squidward seemingly doing romantic things together, like Patrick making Squidward soup, Squidward imagining Patrick as a blonde muscular guy while idolizing him and looking amazed and seemingly falling in love with him.

Plus, he is widely headcanoned to be bi.

I'm a bi/questioning lesbian woman. I'm dating a nonbinary masc person and a woman/demigirl because I'm attracted to anyone who isn't strictly a man. (Maybe I'm polysexual). However, despite having dated my fiancée for 4 years and engaged to her for 11 months, my dad still thinks I'll "come to my senses sooner or later", start praying to Jesus/God, and then become a straight Christian woman.

Hello there! My wife and I are a trans + cis lesbian couple. Our son (2) has always known us as his moms, and uses "she" for both of us. Lately, he's heard a lot of talk about other kid's moms and dads at daycare, and has started trying to use that same language at home.

That isn't preferred of course; we do our best to remind him that he has two moms, but being a toddler he's noticed that he gets extra attention when he uses that word, so that's fun!

I'm not too worried about how we'll handle that, it's just going to take time. What I'm wondering is if this is something cis gay/lesbian couples experience? Like, your child becomes aware of the categories of "mom" and "dad", and tries to fit both parents into those categories? I'd like to think that it can happen to cis queer couples as well, but it could also just be since I am trans.

Click that youtube video link and watch my video to know what happened, guys 🥹🏵️🫂 It's only around 2 minutes long 🥹🌼

Click that youtube video link and watch my video to know what happened, guys 🥹🏵️🫂 It's only around 2 minutes long 🥹🌼

A Christian website that published a story about sprinter “Tyson Homosexual” because of its auto-ban on the word “gay” has vowed not to make the same gaffe twice.

Right wing website OneNewsNow wrote how “Tyson Homosexual was a blur in blue, sprinting 100 meters faster than anyone ever has”.

The story sparked a storm on Twitter yesterday, but it later emerged that the furore was a little late - four years late, in fact, as it was actually from Beijing 2008.

The website reported: “’It means a lot to me,’ the 25-year-old Homosexual said. ‘I'm glad my body could do it, because now I know I have it in me.’”

It continued: “Wearing a royal blue uniform with red and white diagonal stripes across the front, along with matching shoes, all in a tribute to 1936 Olympic star Jesse Owens, Homosexual dominated the competition.

“In Saturday's opening heat, Homosexual pulled way up, way too soon, and nearly was caught by the field, before accelerating again and lunging in for fourth place.”

Brutal. Absolutely brutal.

I've absolutely had enough of adults telling children to be what they've preconceived they should be, and traumatizing them in the process.