Spyke

Posts

trans_joy·Trans JoybyKayday

"Oh, I didn't know you are a trans woman"

We started a new gaming table a few months ago. One of the players is my partner's coworker, so he and I knew of each other but hadn't met until we started playing.

I GM for the group, so for months he's been showing up to listen to me yap and has certainly gotten a good look at me.

We were messaging about something the other day and I made a passing remark about "not being out" somewhere.
Him: "wait, what do you mean by out?"
Me: "I mean they don't know I'm a trans woman."
Him: "Oh, I didn't know you are a trans woman."

That's it, I can die happy.

View original on lemmy.world
lgbt·LGBTQ+byKayday

We have always been our son's moms, now he's calling me dad.

Hello there! My wife and I are a trans + cis lesbian couple. Our son (2) has always known us as his moms, and uses "she" for both of us. Lately, he's heard a lot of talk about other kid's moms and dads at daycare, and has started trying to use that same language at home.

That isn't preferred of course; we do our best to remind him that he has two moms, but being a toddler he's noticed that he gets extra attention when he uses that word, so that's fun!

I'm not too worried about how we'll handle that, it's just going to take time. What I'm wondering is if this is something cis gay/lesbian couples experience? Like, your child becomes aware of the categories of "mom" and "dad", and tries to fit both parents into those categories? I'd like to think that it can happen to cis queer couples as well, but it could also just be since I am trans.

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

(not) patiently waiting for my muscle mass to reduce

I'm around 9 months of feminizing HRT, and maintain the opinion that it is one of the best decisions I've made. I know that a lot of long term changes won't kick in until the 2-3 year mark at least, and it can take 5 or more years before strength is comparable to a cis woman.

Yesterday I took some milestone pictures, and it was the first time I've seen my back since before starting hormones. Holy dysphoria Batman. Genuinely the most acute dysphoria I've experienced. I have had a day to cry, nap, and evaluate, and am back to trusting the process, but damn I want these lats to go away.

I powerlifted in my past life as a way to try and run away from the woman I wanted to become, but haven't done any upper body strength training in over 3 years. I'd have great genes if I wasn't trans ;-;

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

Mental health referrals for bottom surgery [US]

I'm currently in the process of obtaining the two different mental health referrals my insurance asks for before they will cover my orchiectomy. My doctor set me up with a therapist who can be my first referral, and she's great; very kind, and understanding of my situation. I am getting antsy though.

At the start of our first session, she asked what my goal in seeing her was, to which I responded politely but bluntly, "I just need a referral for my insurance to get bottom surgery." She took that graciously, I think. We have now completed two sessions of therapy and I am wondering how many are necessary for her to just give the referral already...

The plan is to ask her in our next session how long before she can give the referral. I haven't been given an expectation from her so far, which is a little concerning. I don't want to just get roped into paying for extra sessions.

I had (naively?) hoped back in October that I could start the process and get surgery scheduled for January at the latest, but since I'm still working on the first of two referrals, that seems unlikely.

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

Bathroom etiquette question

[seeking input from people who use female restrooms]

Hello! I have been using women's restrooms for some time now. Tonight however, will be the first time that I will be going out with some girlfriends where public toilets will be involved. Everyone I am going with knows that I am trans, and is supportive. My questions/concerns are:

  • If I get up to use the bathroom, should I ask anyone if they would like to come with?
  • If another woman gets up, should I offer to go with?
  • If we are using the restroom at the same time, and I finish first, should I wait for them? If so, inside, or outside?

I'm mostly just wanting to act "normal," and don't want to unknowingly perform any social faux pas. Thanks!

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

Doctor thinks my E is too high

Title

I've been on HRT for 6 months, with 5mg weekly injections for the last 3 of those months.
3 months ago, my E was 22 pg/ml, now it is 333 pg/ml.
Doctor says that is too high and is going to to reduce me to a "maintenance dose". Just wanted to check with other people if this is consistent with their experiences. Thanks!

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

Orchiectomy in Chicago, IL. Anyone here been through that?

[Asking MtF people who have had genital surgery, ideally in Chicago]

Hello! I started talking to my doctor yesterday about finding a surgeon for a bilateral orchiectomy. We both agreed Chicago would probably be a practical place to find someone experienced in the procedure.

I found two doctors: Dr. Loren Schechter, MD, and Dr. Traci P. Beck, MD. Both have come up in my searching, but I wanted to check if anyone in the community has advice / recommendations for who to go to.

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

[MTF's on HRT Pls Respond] How unusual is it for no nipple soreness or breast bud development at almost 6 weeks of HRT?

Trying hard to trust the process, and while I have seen other expected changes in skin, hair, and mood, I am getting anxious that nothing is happening under my shirt. I had some minor sensitivity within the first two weeks, but never anything painful.

This Friday will be 6 weeks on HRT. 2mg Est, 4mg Prog, 200mg Spiro daily.

Edit: thanks for talking me off the cliff everyone, I'm much less anxious now 😅

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

Waist:Hip and jean shopping

Title. Does anyone have advice? I can find jeans long enough no problem, tall options are fine. But anytime I find an appropriate waist measurement (~35") the hip measurement is 7-8" larger than mine.

Edit: to clarify, I would want a little extra in the hips to help give the impression of, well, hips. But 8 extra inches seems excessive.

View original on lemmy.world
mtf·TransfembyKayday

Paralysis from perfectionism and transitioning

[Engagement from anyone welcome]

Context, informed consent is a thing here and I will likely be starting HRT in the next month or two. Here is what my thought process has been for the last year since beginning to socially transition, although very slowly.

  • I should buy feminine clothes
  • I don't want to have to buy new clothes once my measurements (hopefully) change from HRT
  • I will wait to buy feminine clothes
  • I should practice makeup
  • Makeup makes dysphoria worse
  • I should start HRT / look into FFS
  • I will wait to practice makeup
  • I should start HRT
  • I haven't earned that; I don't dress or present fem
  • Kick can down the road for HRT

The good news is I called a doctor last week to schedule the appointment! So things are progressing. Just wanted to see if any guys, gals, or pals have had a similar experience with their transition, or seen someone else go through that.

View original on lemmy.world
politics·politics byKayday

Trump wants US to take ownership of Gaza and redevelop it after Palestinians are resettled elsewhere

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Donald Trump said Tuesday he wants the U.S. to take ownership of the Gaza Strip and redevelop it after Palestinians are resettled elsewhere.
“We will own it and be responsible for dismantling all of the dangerous unexploded bombs and other weapons on the site,” Trump said a start of a joint news conference with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Trump wants US to take ownership of Gaza and redevelop it after Palestinians are resettled elsewherehttps://apnews.com/article/trump-netanyahu-washington-ceasefire-1c8deec4dd46177e08e07d669d595ed3Open linkView original on lemmy.world
politics·politics byKayday

Trump signs executive order aimed at curtailing gender transitions for everyone under 19

WASHINGTON (AP) — President Donald Trump on Tuesday signed an executive order aimed at curtailing gender transitions for people under age 19.
“It is the policy of the United States that it will not fund, sponsor, promote, assist, or support the so-called ‘transition’ of a child from one sex to another, and it will rigorously enforce all laws that prohibit or limit these destructive and life-altering procedures,” Trump said in a statement.

Trump signs executive order aimed at curtailing gender transitions for everyone under 19https://apnews.com/article/trump-transgender-transition-executive-order-301e4130233b411311978f66f455f1c4Open linkView original on lemmy.world
politics·politics byKayday

House passes immigrant detention bill that would be Trump’s first law to sign

WASHINGTON (AP) — The House on Wednesday gave final approval to a bill that requires the detainment of unauthorized immigrants accused of theft and violent crimes, marking the first legislation that President Donald Trump can sign as Congress, with some bipartisan support, swiftly moved in line with his plans to crackdown on illegal immigration.

I am not sure what this bill actually changes. Do we not already detain anyone accused of theft or violent crimes? How would them being an unauthorized migrant even be a known factor unless they have already been detained?

It will certainly embolden some people to snitch, which is likely the intention.

House passes immigrant detention bill that would be Trump’s first law to signhttps://apnews.com/article/congress-immigration-crackdown-laken-riley-act-trump-a3e52af60b6b952f487e4ae03ebfacdeOpen linkView original on lemmy.world