New releases tomorrow! What's on your list?

Just one for me this week: X-Men #34.

I'm not a big comic reader but every once in awhile, my best friend will show up with a comic he thinks I should read. He's never been wrong - last time it was Ultimate Martian Manhunter, this time it was The Sentry.

The only Marvel movie I've seen in the past decade is End Game so we both thought it was really funny that I caught this. He correctly calls him "Stephen" a few pages later.

As for the comic itself - it's an awesome self-contained story that unfolds very nicely. The artwork is amazing and diverse as you read through different hero's perspectives. I've never been a big Hulk fan but wow, his section was my favorite??

I really liked the timeframe, too. Something happens and something had to be done. But the comic isn't about the something...it's about the anticipation of doing it. Cool idea built on top of another cool idea with a really good conclusion.

!!SPOILER WARNING!!

::: spoiler Tap for spoiler For the most part, I assumed The Sentry was a classic superhero I just wasn't familiar with. And ironically, the part that clued me in was knowing Bruce Banner did not 'get better' in a watchtower. But I still wasn't certain until the end.

Meanwhile, my friend went in knowing he wasn't real AND that every flashback story was fake but was still doubting himself by the end. :::

For me this week:

• Absolute Green Arrow #4
• End of Life #7
• Uncanny X-Men #34

So, about a year ago I tried reading spiderman comics. I watched the 1994 Spiderman cartoon as a kid. I watched the movies. Technically I'm in Spiderman 3. I played the video games. Always been a spiderman fan, and then realized that for some reason I just never read the comics.

So I came here and tried to get myself straightened out. Because since issue #1 back in the 40s or whatever, he was in Action Comics, and then he got his own series. When he got his own series, all the way through today, it's supposed to be one continuous story. Stuff that was written in 1955 is still part of the continuous story today. The problem with that is, I'm not going to just read issue 1, and then catch up on a literal 80+ year old backlog of monthly issues. Nobody has time for that. But even if it's the same story, doesn't mean you're not in a new chapter.

So they started adding smaller numbers on the pages to correspond with whatever the current story is. If you understand whats going on, it makes sense. But for someone who's never picked up a comic before, that makes no sense. "Oh, this is issue 900, but it's also issue 1." WHAT????

Instead, here's what I suggest they do once they finish up their current run. Next time they shake things up, let's make a fake name. Let's say they build up to some big fight between whomever in the current run. When they have their big payoff, and everything ends, have Spiderman sitting on a grass hill. Suit tattered. Cuts. Bruises. Exhausted. He looks up, and sees Mary Jane Watson at the top of the hill above him. Closeup of Mary Jane, as she says "Hey Peter...can we talk?"

The inner back cover just shows a preview of the next months comic cover. It's simplistic. It's just a shot of spiderman against solid color background.

The Amazing Spiderman #4000 or whatever(Big font)

A new beginning: Chapter 1 (really small font. Almost like fineprint, but slightly bigger)

And from then on, the Logo/font does not change at all until we get to a new story. So lets say "A new beginning" runs for 48 issues. On issue 48, again you'd get that inner back cover showing a preview of next months issue.

The Amazing Spiderman #4049

Aunt Mae's shameful secrer: Chapter 1

Same font sizes as before, but, they'll look visually different. And each new story may or may not have a new writing or art teams. Each new story is considered like a soft reboot of the series. By that I mean it's all one continuous story, but with each new story they will take things in a different direction. But that doesn't mean it retcons anything. Nothing is hard rebooted. Uncle Ben is still dead. So they CAN still reuse characters, and have their past affect their version of the story. But the story is segmented, but continuous.

We may just not see certain characters for 10 years at a time. Do we really need Electro to constantly be around? I'm thinking each of these stories will last 2-3 years. So while they do the story about Scorpion, you may not see Venom, or Carnage, or Doctor Octopus. Or Sandman. Because they're not the story being told right now. But maybe on issue 4049 the preview cover for Chapter 1 of Aunt Mae's shameful secret, you just see Scorpion on the street level, with Aunt Mae wrapped up in his tail, as Spiderman is swinging to her rescue. So just from that preview picture alone you know that Scorpion is about to have his story told, and it involves some secret from Aunt Mae's past. Bad enough to get Scorpion to come after her.

And just from that one back cover alone, you now know that the direction is about to change, we're changing stories, we're changing characters, and based on the art style, you may see a totally different visual art style. And you should know from that back cover preview exactly what to expect for the next 2-3 years until this story is told.

And then? Another soft reboot. Another story. We do it all again.

This makes it clear which story each comic belongs to, just by the cover. Even to non-readers, it would be instantly apperent that this was issue 7 of A new Begining. It's issue 4007 of the main series. From there, you know to google A new beginning to see what that it is, and just like that, you have a new reader who knows exactly where to jump in.

Now for the best part. The fact that each soft reboot issue 1 is basically a preview of the next 2-3 years means that if you're ever looking for the Doctor Octopus story, but don't remember which one that is? All you gotta do is check wikipedia for the name of all the stories. And each wikipedia article should naturally always have the cover of issue 1.

Now you just gotta look for the cover with Doctor Octopus. Might not see him again for years, but you know exactly which arc he's in.

HOPEFULLY this will put an end to some of the stupid stuff I've heard happens in the comics. Why is there a second Doctor Octopus? Why are there Peter Parker clones? I'm not asking why in the stories. I'm asking why a writer thought that was a good idea. Doctor Octopus exists. You don't need two.

Peter Parker clones just dilute what makes Venom special. I'm all for introducing new characters. In fact, if a character doesn't work out, you don't need to kill them off. They just fade into the background noise and never get referenced again. Their story still happened, but nobody ever thinks about it.

But when you come up with new characters, the first thing that should be asked is "What is special about this character, and why will it be a challenge for spiderman to defeat them? Do not get me started with the fact that I just learned there's like a BILLION symbiots. Seriously???

Venom is special because Eddie Brock is an asshole, but he's not a villain. The Symbiot is a villain, but it needs Eddy. So it's kind of this inbetween of Spiderman's greatest enemy, but also, competitor. Because Venom is a hero too. He just hates Spiderman.

And then with Carnage, he's special because Cassidy is already a serial killer. Even without the symbiot he's ALREADY a villain that you should fear. Then make him basically into an overpowered spiderman clone. And since Carnage isn't having it's host resist the chaos, he makes the symbiot into giant axe blades, or claws. It's basically freddie kruger in a symbiot suit.

So what makes them special if theres thousands more just like them? They were yin and yang. While venom and spiderman were also yin and yang. but Carnage and Spiderman are so far separated that they are NOT anything alike. But now you got all these other symbiots so it's just diluting what makes those characters great.

Yeah, if I were the one soft rebooting this shit, all the other symbiots would be put on a rocket, sent off to space, and never mentioned again. Carnage and Venom somehow stay. So, it's kinda like retconning, without retconning. The storys still happened, but they mean nothing now, don't worry about it, moving forward.

I'm trying to think of something good to say about this series, trying to look at it as an ambitious portrayal of darkness and depravity in the Marvel universe but it's much too lightheaded and too fleeting to be taken seriously.

Essentially a "What if?" scenario featuring the protagonist Phil Sheldon, from Alex Ross's grounded Marvel comic books "Marvel's", the book shows us a world where basically everything that could have gone wrong with our heroes does go wrong.

Captain America becomes a cannibal, Iron Man incapacitated, Peter Parker never gets to be Spider-Man and is a freak with a skin disease caused by a radioactive spider. Things like these and many more often with exaggerated details of violence and ugliness are showcased page after page.

It's a really short book too, just 68 or so pages and rather than telling you a proper story it just takes you around on a tour to see the fates awaiting the different characters or groups in the Marvel universe. I really disliked it, the lack of focus and story and just the pacing of it all makes reading it have no impact which feels like it would be the opposite of what was intended.

Indeed, as you read this book it feels more absurd than horrific. Like someone was trying to be very clever and failed to be original.

The artwork on the other hand is atleast good looking. Gone are beautiful realistic portraits drawn by Alex Ross and instead we get this moody panels where everything is grey and overcast. Like you're looking at burnt paper. It does help out in accentuating and developing the horrible descriptions of these characters by drawing them in as many distorted painful positions as possible but ultimately falls short of "this looks so good I must own it and touch it" standards of Kingdom Come and Marvels. It looks best when the scenes are more brightly lit

Around the second half of the second issue, the art style changes hands to be a bit more comic book-y but I didn't mind that. I didn't care enough about it

I do like that this comic proves that just bring grimdark and "realistic" doesn't make a book good and I appreciate it for that much atleast though I still think DC's Kingdom Come is much better at reflecting that sentiment than this meaningless tale of cruelty. This is the kind of book that feels like it would be perfect for "The Boys" watching modern realistic superhero watchers of today but ends up holding nothing substantial inside, much like the later seasons of the show.

4/10 The only inspiring and worth reading part of this whole comic book is the opening poem/epigrapgh. I love how cleanly it sets up that what you're reading is just a different universe and how it name-drops the original comic book and Ruins.

PS: I wish Doctor Strange 2 had explored some of these darker multiverses instead of giving a busy and distracting cameo scene of random heroes

Ok, so imagine in the spiderman universe, if some character like Dr Strange, started casting spells on people. Except NOT Dr Strange, because he wouldn't do this. But find a character who's able to cast spells and is a villain.

So this spell is just cast on a single random ordinary guy. He had no powers before the spell, but now after the spell he brings disease everywhere he goes. 50 mile radius around this guy. Everybody gets sick. While he himself never gets this illness. He's immune to it.

So whichever villain cast this on him did so and then framed the guy for some terrorist attack. So now this carrier of disease is sent to some max security prison. The idea being that the original villain is using this guy as a trojan horse to kill Kingpin, who's also locked up. Only problem is, due to some mix-up, the guy gets taken to a regular jail instead. All the inmates, and all the guards are dead within a month.

The other part of the spell is that if this guy is killed, the entire universe explodes. So you can't just kill him. But now NYC has this massive prison complex with thousands of cells, and only 1 prisoner. And they can't put any staff or inmates in there, or they'll die. They've been feeding him via remote control drone delivery. But that's a band-aid solution. So instead they build an artificial island off the coast. with a 75 mile restricted water access. On this artificial island they create ways he can grow his own food, and be self reliant.

Problem averted, right? Because now NYC can use it's already existing jail again. But now that the character is established, you can actually develop the character.

So remember, this guy was NOT a criminal. He did NOT have powers. He's just as much a victim in this, as anyone else. But the government treats him as a terrorist because of what happened at the jail. People see him as the cause of death, because nobody is quite sure whats going on. So they just blame him, and that's it.

After so many years on the island in isolation, he finds a way back to the mainland. And why? Because HE doesn't understand how it works either. He just wants to live a normal life, and doesn't understand why everyone around him keeps dying. So he comes to the city, in search of his family.

Then yada yada spiderman somehow finds out that if he reaches the shore, thousands will die. If he gets close to the guy, he'll die. And with that, we have spiderman using help from Tony Stark to use autonomous Ironman suits to essentially swoop him up, bring him back to the island, and then talk to him via video conference. And this is where we find out that he's not a bad guy. He's just frustrated, scared, and alone. Spiderman empathizes with that, and starts being this guys friend with daily chats.

And now, you have set up for the future, a new character that can be used as a weapon against their will to kill an entire city if taken hostage somehow. He's powerful, because you can't get near him to fight him. But also, he's just a guy with the spell swirling AROUND him. All of his thoughts and motivations are NOT death. But death does follow this guy everywhere he goes.

I think it would be best if this guy when we first meet him is timid and weak, and apologetic for everything in life, whether it's his fault or not. And by the end, he can become completely deranged as a result of isolation, but still not a bad person. A tragic story of a life. And then you can use him against his will in the future.

Maybe Green Goblin's glider can go fly to him, and kidnap him. Then he's essentially used as a bomb. God dammit. I want his Super Villain name to be "Bomberman", but that's already a video game. That would get confusing.

You know how comic books are. Eventually he'll be full on evil. Or maybe mind controlled by someone else. Or maybe he has mental health issues. I hate to say it that way, but that's how comic book villains are written. Evil super villain, and then his motivations behind being evil is because he has mental health issues.

Now I wish this were a thing.

Completely forgot I had this! I can’t believe this is a real thing.

It has the panel where Spider-Man gets fisted!

What's on your list this week?

For me:

• Absolute Batman #23
• X-Men #35
• X-Men United #6

I don't get to watch movies very often. Surprisingly I have one kickass movie setup though. It's a 1080p video projector that also does 3D.

So I just watched Spiderman:Homecoming. Yes, I know, I'm SUPER late to see it. Sue me.

But you know that feeling where you just want to talk about the movie you just watched? Well, I have that, except nobody else BUT me just saw this movie for the first time. So nobody else is dying to talk about it but me.

Ok, so, first off......what was the pacing of that movie??? The first third of the movie it felt like it couldn't find it's footing. Like it was almost a parody of a spiderman movie.

BUT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE CASTING FOR A MINUTE??? I'm DYING to talk about the casting!!! This is my first time seeing Tom Holland as Spiderman, and the voice clicked almost instantly, but I wasn't quite sold on the full performance until about halfway through the movie. There was some a scene on the rooftops where it really clicked. This was a teenager with super powers....but still very much a teenager. Once that clicked into place, I began to enjoy Tom Holland as Spiderman a LOT more.

And Micheal Keaton as Vulture??? Oh my god! Chefs kiss. If you look back to the original trilogy, when they had the green goblin and his hoverboard, functionally it's pretty much the same character. Green guy flies around with mechanical flying thing, and fights Spiderman. Yes, I'm oversimplifying things, but you can see the comparison.

Except, I actually LIKE the Vulture in this film. The Green Goblin just looked like a stuntman in a motorcycle helmet. I never felt that Green Goblin was ever actually a psychopath, or a killer, or hardly even a threat. It just came off as "Now's the time for the big supervillain battle" and then Green Goblin would fly in.

With Vulture, there's a clear and distinct reason he has these things. Micheal Keaton plays the roll so well that you almost overlook the massive plot hole. They have alien technology, they've used it to perform robberies for over 8 years, and at no point did the police, or the government, or the Avengers ever thing to look into that? Weird.

OH!!! And as good of casting as I think Tom Holland and Micheal Keaton are, there's some real BAD casting too. Why is Aunt Mae a hottie? She looks like she's any age between 30 and 60. It's like every single scene she looks a slightly different age. There's no consistency. Aunt Mae is an 85 year old woman. This Aunt Mae doesn't look anywhere near 85.

I don't know what's coming in the next few movies. I'm watching them all this week. I've never seen them. I don't know why. I saw "The Amazing Spiderman" back in 2012 I think, and I just did not enjoy that movie.

When I was 10 years old, I saw the Super Mario Bros movie in theaters. The one with Bob Hoskins, and John Liguizamo. I remember in the theater thinking for the longest time "Why aren't they in their suits???".

I understood the plotline reason why Tony Stark took away Peter's high tech spidersuit. I also understand why Peter had to wear a makeshift costume. What I don't get, is why Peter didn't sew his own traditional looking spiderman costume, without any of the tech. He spent like a third of the movie without his spiderman costume.

The movie also scrapped some of the bigger characters entirely. There is no mention ANYWHERE of Mary Jane. The closest thing is "Michelle" says she goes by "MJ" in a blink and you'll miss it moment.

There's also no J Jonah Jameson. I don't even see the Daily Bugle anywhere.

I felt like while he was in high school they could have had a professor without an arm, and he's just Dr Conners. I thought that was a missed opportunity. Also a missed opportunity to not have the high schoolers we know about. Like Mary Jane, Eddie Brock, Harry Osborne. Though they did have Flash Thompson. For some reason instead of a preppy white rich jock, they made him a short (arabic?) toothpick size twerp that you just want to slap in the back of the head. When I think of Flash Thompson, I'm thinking of a tall built football player type body. I'm pretty sure even without super powers Peter could have easily knocked Flash out.

The whole movie feels like a prequel. The characters are written well. I can very much believe these are high schoolers going through their own high school years. While Peter is going through.....a lot.

What I don't get is Tony Stark. He shows up, gives a 15 year old a biological weapon with a built-in "kill mode" which really wants to turn itself on. Then blows him off as if he's being annoying. Then leaves him alone in a suit which is somehow both extreme high tech, but also whose security is broken with a pair of tweezers and a usb drive. Then he takes the suit away from Peter because he fought Vulture which was immature and wreckless. Then at the end of the movie he attempts to give spider an even CRAZIER suit because he fought Vulture which was mature, and the brave thing to do.

Honestly, I feel like Tony Stark should have had waaaaaaay less screen time. MAYBE a cameo. He should not have been important to the plot. In fact, I'd prefer there were no high tech suit. It was just Spiderman trying to impress Tony Stark, who maybe gives him a phone call or a zoom meeting. Outside of that, he should be like "Peter, I'm busy. Just handle it, ok?" At least then maybe we wouldn't have to deal with half the movie in a make-shift costume.

Speaking of the costume, I hate it.

I hate it because as little as the original trilogy contributed to the Spiderman movies, they did have one cool thing. That suit is THE definitive Spiderman suit. This suit, the high tech one, was just flat. It looked like CGI the entire time. It looked like when you're watching Space Jam, and there's cartoons on screen while real humans are ALSO on screen. The cartoon on screen doesn't look natural, and it breaks the immersion. That's what this suit did at all times. At no poZendayaint did it even look like Spiderman was filmed wearing the greenman costume, and then CGI it on in post. I felt that the whole movie.

On a personal level, I feel cheated. I asked what movies I should prepare me for the new spiderman movie, and I was told to watch

Spiderman Homecoming

Spiderman Far From Home

Spiderman No Way Home

In that order. Well, I feel like there was a MASSIVE story just before this movie started. I mean, they're talking about alien technology that blew up in NYC, and now this guy is cleaning up the mess. That's how he becomes Vulture.

But hold on.....what alien mess??? What happened??? I feel like we're picking up at the end of the story rather than the beginning.

Now AFTERWARDS I find out I'm supposed to watch Winter Soldier first. Which C'mon.......how many movies are all connected??? I'll have watched 4 spiderman movies this week by the time I leave the theater having watched the new one.

But even that's not the full story. Because I could watch Winter Soldier. And I'm sure there's like 5 movies before Winter Soldier, since that movie is a sequel in itself.

So I would have to go back to at least 2008 to watch the full story. Or maybe it goes all the way back to the first IronMan movie. I think that came out in 2004? That's too many movies to watch. These movies need clear chapter ends. So people can jump off, and new people can jump on.

And what is this Ned character supposed to be??? I don't remember him from any previous Spiderman media. Why are they painstakingly trying to make him be Barbra Gordon post accident??? It works for her, because she USED TO BE Batgirl.

Ned is just.......Ned.

And what kind of name is "Happy"???

AND WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE BOAT ALL ABOUT??? It gets split down the middle, and then IronMan is like "Well, if I push the sides back together then the ship will be water buoyant again. That's how water works.....

Ok, I think that's enough for now.

Guys, go watch that movie for the first time if you haven't already. And if you have, go do the whole Men in Black eye flashy memory wipe thing. THEN go watch the movie for the first time....again.

And then share your thoughts. Just don't spoil anything with the next few movies.

Also.....is it supposed to be implied that Liz is Toones step-daughter? Or am I reading too much into that? I know he keeps saying "his daughter", but I don't know any step-dads that think of their "kids" as "step-kids". It's just "this is my kid". Because they cast the mom to at least look like she could be Liz's mom. But Liz doesn't look mixed at all. So, I'm not sure he's the dad.

It's been about 30 minutes since the movie ended. The more it sits with me, the more I'm thinking Tom Holland might have a chance to be the defining Spiderman. I'll see how the other movies go.

And I just love Micheal Keaton as Vulture. I kinda wish they'd have put him in make-up a bit, to make him look older, but outside of that, perfect casting.

Not that there was much competition, but Keaton is now THE actor I think of when I think who's the best Vulture. Best Batman. Best Vulture.

Yeah! I said it! Who's a better Batman? George Clooney? Pssshhh!!! Please! George Clooney is a smug bastard, but he's not a great Batman.

Title. I like weird stuff that challenges the way you think. Not much of a traditional comic book reader, but there are some that have really gripped me lately (particularly the more out-there stuff by Moore or Morrison), and I'm looking for more stuff like that.

In the last couple years I've read:

The Invisibles
The Filth
Flex Mentallo
The Sandman
Promethea
Morrison's Animal Man
Transmetropolitan
The Incal

On my to-read list so far are Moore's Swamp Thing and the new Absolute Martian Manhunter. What else needs to be on the list?