Had one girlfriend that had an orgasm every few minutes by fucking, fingering, getting eaten out, masturbation... Basically every kind of sex made her come immediately. She really was a miracle. One day she came 40 times in a row. I counted intentionally that day because I was wondering how often she could come. We only stopped that day because I was completely done and exhausted and drained.
Yeah, it's tough when no matter how much you try it just won't happen. Had a girlfriend once that seemed to actively avoid getting there, she would clench her highs around my hand so I couldn't move anymore and stuff like that every time she got close
I always felt like “one of the boys” from a very young age. I’d play games for “boys”, played hockey, took boxing classes etc., hung out exclusively with boys and hated girls.
Around the age of 12, I went clothes shopping with my mom, and I asked for boys clothes. She refused and I cried myself to sleep that night. Many more times I asked for boys / men’s clothes and got denied, and every time I fell into a deep (diagnosed) depression.
I had no idea why, nor what “being trans” was or meant. Over the years, I kept saying things like “if I was a boy, I would x” or “if I was a boy my name would be x”, to which my friends reacted with “you know cis people don’t say or think those things as often as you do right? Might wanna get that checked out”.
It took until feb. 2023 for me to seek help, and when I did they were all unanimous: I am trans.
I bought men’s clothes, stopped shaving and begun hormone therapy in May. I’ve never been this happy in my entire life.
My boyfriend stuck around (he’s bi) and has been super supportive.
Masturbate, max out my credit cards on clothes and same-day sex toys, body hair removal, stab myself in the eye with mascara and eyeliner pencil, book tubal ligation, get period stopping birth control, septum ring, mani-pedi, smash gashes with lasses, fuck myself sore.
Day 2 would be a self-care day of cozy sweaters, cocoa, movies, and trying to vibrate my clit off.
You really get it lol. Also, hope you don't wake up on the first day of the periods. Or the 3 days before. Or the 5 days during the period and 2 days after :)
Day one waking up with an axe wound would not be a great start. I'd probably just have to try out the massage setting on the showerhead and shove some paper towels up there. Then put on sweatpants and a hoodie then run to the store to pickup midol, period supplies, ugly underwear, chocolate, and a vibrator.
I can only describe my periods this way: like someone is twisting a serrated knife constantly in your belly (uterus). Up and down, left, right, up and down... It doesn't stop for 3 days straight...I'm really looking forward to menopause...no amount of painkillers help. But the chocolate and nice people does :)
Panic. I'd immediately wonder if I suffered a stroke in the middle of the night that makes me think I changed. Or if I did magically change, did other people's memories change too? I'd check my ID, birth certificate, any other paperwork, even old pictures for signs of gender. Figure out a way to indirectly ask a family member. Try to tell if my pets recognize me or are treating me like a stranger.
I'd have to text out sick from work as long as possible because I wouldn't know how to explain my sudden difference in voice and appearance. I'd be too busy panicking over what happened and trying to reevaluate everything I know about myself. Am I gay now? Am I trans now? Do all my interests stay the same? My socialization as a child didn't change and it's nurture not nature, right? Are my genetics different? Am I prone to different health risks now? Am I still me or did asgardian aliens put my memories in a clone body and mess up a chromosome?
If I don't change back I'll start doing research into legally changing gender and coming up with a story to tell everyone who knew me. I live in an area that's fairly pro-trans so at least I wouldn't have to face insurmountable legal hurdles to get a name and ID swap. At some point I'd consider HRT to go back, but that can take so long (especially because I'd sound insane if I explained what happened) I'd realistically have to transition both directions legally, which I imagine would be its own hell.
Eventually I'd calm down enough to explore myself physically.
Sounds like the most thought out response. I sometimes wonder how many cis folk are cis because they have a gender identity solidly planted in the cultural and phenotypic sex of their body and how many are cis because they really don't have a strong underlying preference so whatever their body is it would not cause them any real discomforts.
I definitely know folk who I suspect fit both of these models. Those cis folk who experience gender euphoria are sometimes not very subtle about it.
I'm cis woman, not a hyper-feminine sort but SO into being female-bodied, loved being pregnant and nursing kids, love sex as a woman. The actual biological woman-ness I identify with so strongly. Cultural ideas of femininity or masculinity can fuck right off, and anyone should be whoever they are, and clothing wise I stay more neutral usually, never dresses. But personally I'd have utter dismay if I woke up in a male body.
Commiserate with all of this. When I first came out I felt like I had to scream "femme" every waking moment with dresses. Nowadays I've just been wearing a flannel and jeans. I have long hair now that I'm debating on cutting short (since everyone else in roller derby has).
Definitely wishing I could have been pregnant.
Still debating on inducing lactation just to see what it feels like.
Just grateful I have a woman's body now.
If you are planning on having somehow a baby that will be a newborn, nursing is the best. Free food for the baby, bonding, closeness, magic. Even if you can't make enough to feed them, giving them what you do have is good for their development, nursing gives them more than food. But it tanked my sex drive something awful, I would not do it, personally, unless it was to feed someone.
Definitely what I am talking about! A lot of trans folk aren't really all that enamored with the cultural trappings of masculinity or femininity either. It's just a tool to allow us to be recognized by others and maybe emphasize what we may be lacking. A lot of the late transition folk I know find a solid measure of that euphoria.
I feel like under the hood gender is really interesting and a lot of cis folk just never really think about what it actually means to them? Operating at a deficit or discovering your joy in a non-standard presentation definitely forces you to think about it. I feel like binary trans folk just experience what you feel but under the reverse of circumstance. It's harder I think for folk who don't have direct match to empathize with the binary trans experience...
The other side of things seems sort of closer to a non-binary situation but where the rewards are not really strong enough to act. The path of least resistance just works well enough. Holding up a mirror to cis-ness I feel like is something we as a society don't really do. We skirt it tentitivly when we ask these pop culture questions of "what if you woke up as the opposite sex? " But most people's take goes no deeper than "lol BOOBS!"
Yes I had this debate with the husband. I am sure if I'd been born in a male body it would have caused me distress, I've always known I was, well, female, it fits and I didn't grow up in a gender-divded household, kids were just kids, my mom made us all do the same things, she didn't really enculturate us. He thinks that it's just because I did have a girl body and if I had been a boy I'd have been happy with that but I don't think so.
One of our (many) kids is F-to-M, presents boy, wants to be a man when adult not a woman. I was honestly surprised when he told me because my conception of womanhood is so broad I had just thought they basically had the fashion sense of a styleless 40 year old lesbian. Both the youngest ones preferred to bind rather than bra, and the older of them is girl still so that didn't raise any sort of flag either.
But anyway - I have had plenty of opportunity in my life to think about this stuff, in a lot of ways. It's all been brought to the surface.
It's pretty easy for transmasc folk to fly under the wire because a lot of the cultural stuff on the girl side of things have been broken wide open. It's more widely regarded as sexist to try and force women to conform to all the trappings of traditional womanhood than it nessisarily is the other way around. I know a lot of binary trans women who wish they could just wear shlumpy hoodies and jeans and go out without a full face of makeup and have short easy to manage hair like cis women do but then everybody who doesn't know them doesn't pick up on the visual cues they need to make the assumptions to take the steps to gender them properly.
I feel like the concept of gender being wholly performative is really bullshit. You can see it a bit in the specific way misgendering stings? It's like it's the verbal equivalent of someone pointing our some sort of injury or a deformity that you've learned to live with. You can forget it yourself most of the time by just focusing on things if other people aren't constantly pointing it out but it's such a bloody drag when you realize people are noticing and focusing on that. The performance aspects of gender are just the protective shell of that innate feeling rather than the sorce of the feeling itself.
I agree with this. But there are only those three layers, right? The mind, your inner self; the body and the masculinity/femininity performance outward part.
I strongly agree it's easier for me to be sort of androgynous in the outward aspect and still be mostly seen as who I am, simply because my mind and body are aligned womanly. I can not give a shit about being feminine and still be seen as womanly (though I am old enough to remember when that wasn't true, and got bullied plenty for not presenting feminine). That is so (and still) much harder for men. So much harder. And yes I understand so much harder than that for trans women. If a male bodied person who is a woman isn't doing the dance of femininity I don't see a woman, unless I know them, right?
Still would say honestly that it's the biological nature of being a woman I enjoy about being me. Living in the body that gave birth to other people, and the sexual response. Beyond being physically embodied at all, which is obviously lucky. Even if I had to be a guy I'd want a female body. My trans son doesn't seem to mind having a female body either, periods and all, it's more about the outside to him I guess.
It's a little different for everyone. Sometimes it's more based in joy than pain or if things don't get in your way or you have active plans to change it's easier to live with them as a temporary nuisance. Sexual organs are often fairly low on the priority list because the surgeries around them can be a bit scary given the recovery regimen and with ftm bottom surgery you have to decide on what you specifically value in regards to function because nothing is perfect and it's a little more difficult to be enthusiastic about something that feels like a compromise. It's also scary in the way you could potentially make a choice out of the ones available and later on potentially wish you chose a different surgery option.
With hysterectomy as well if you aren't fantastically rich and can afford suragacy you have to give up on the idea of kids. So a lot of the biological concerns are very wrapped up in practicality and once you have a strong sense of where your values and what your overall life planning are the compromises make sense and become tolerable.
The HRT aspects are usually the bits that folk find relieving on the FTM side of things because you get more of the trappings you get to see and experience while you are out walking the world. The deep voice, the facial hair and the way fat redistributes itself on the body. A lot of people find that feeling of revelling in the things they enjoy about being in their body which allows you to focus on the good and dismiss the stuff you don't like.
I believe I'm the latter in this unauthorized and unofficial poll.
I'm a lot more attached to my sexuality than my gender. I am definitely attracted to women. I am a man because it's more convenient for me to be a man however. I have thought about whether I'm NB due to my indifference, but then I rethink my thoughts and notice
I am a man [...]
and just decide to stop there, I don't have to care about the "because". I'm a keep it simple stupid kinda person.
It's valid. Being non-binary trans being treated as my birth sex causes me all kinds of underlying social anxiety and makes me hate being around people the same way I hate looking in mirrors. I assume the inconvenience of having to educate people on my specific needs because the burden of doing so is more often lesser than the discomfort of not doing so.
If I don't bother to correct someone's assumptions in a social setting it's usually because either I expect to deal with the person only very rarely and I do not give much weight at all to how they think of me... But the interaction does still remind me of everything I don't like about my experience and makes me self conscious in a harmful way.
If it were something based out of a lack of feeling rather than a surfit it would probably be a fairly innert part of the way I express myself.
If it were something based out of a lack of feeling rather than a surfit it would probably be a fairly innert part of the way I express myself.
I obviously don't know what it would have been like if I were born female, maybe I would still be a man. As of right now though, I wear men's clothes because I always have, wear a man's hairstyle because I have always have, use he/him because I always have... It feels more like inertia than a part of me, along with just being easier to conform to something I don't particularly care about, so if the ball had started off rolling the otherway... I dunno though. I suppose another explaination is that I'm just really secure in my "manness" I don't feel any need to convince myself that I am man, I just am one. Probably why I don't care about the "because" I just don't need it.
My answer to the initial question would depend on how much it upended my life I suspect. If I woke up, I was a woman and everyone remembered me as always being a woman, my wardrobe filled with skirts and I could slot right in, I think I'd just keep on trucking after some initial shock. But, if I had to explain that "I'm a woman now", buy new clothes, and all that nonsense, I think my answer would more closely resemble the parent comment.
Back when I was five or seven if I suddenly one day woke up as a girl I probably would have had a massive panic attack and freaked out for a day and after some therapy and time to process I would have just been like, "oh okay well I guess I'm a girl now".
Nowadays other than the fact that it would cause ripple effects throughout my life that I can't even possibly predict, i wouldn't even care that much. Oh shit, dick fell off.
I mean for a lot of us the horror doesn't kick in til puberty. When you are a kid all it takes for someone to clock you as another gender is changing your clothes and whatever you have in your pants doesn't really matter so much. You might have been more okay than you think at age five or seven.
Find it really effin fascinating. But then keep dressing in mens clothes.
I have a fascination with gender swapping (and general body transformation) but it has never extended to clothes. I dont get why its so often clothes and crossdressing that other people of this kind enjoy. I just would appreciate a different body. And lower height. And not being so scary-looking. But being socially able to dress in female clothing doesnt interest me at all.
That is true I'm only saying it's not needed to like feminine clothes or that liking feminine clothes doesn't automatically make someone trans (only identifying as trans makes someone trans), I know a lot of Femboys who enjoy it while still identifying as male (myself included).
Not saying that they can't be or certainly aren't trans.
I'd probably have to go through the long process of transitioning back as well as all the financial, legal, and medical problems associated with it, which would probably include immigration to a place where it's easier.
At the very least I am androgynous so it probably wouldn't take as long for me to get back to at least close to how I am but it would still suck.
That's an optimistic outlook by the way, I'm not going to discuss pessimistic/realistic because it's sad, unpleasant, and may trigger people.
I'd agree with you if the question was "Men of lemmy, what would you do if you woke up female for one day". But that wasn't the question. As it stands the question could just as easily mean that one day they wake up female and then are female for the rest of their lives. It's ambiguous, but personally I did not interpret the question as for only a single day.
I... don't really know? I legit don't know whether I'd feel dysphoria if I woke up in a female body unless it happened. I don't feel dysphoria in my current body but I like crossdressing and I'm not really that attached to the notion that I'm a man.
You sound similar to me, I've never thought much about gender and I dress very GNC (Gender-Nonconforming). Though I'm not sure I wouldn't feel anything negative considering that the lack of a penis would negatively affect my life.
Also ignoring other feminine features because due to my genetic condition they probably wouldn't be present anyway (Have a condition that affects my sexual development and essentially prevented me from going through puberty).
I would announce my transition online and isolate myself for 6 months with no pictures so I can try to keep being identified by society as the same person and not become undocumented and lose everything I own etc. Nobody's going to believe a story about magic bullshit, they would just assume you're a different person.
Imagine if you woke up not only a woman, but a woman so exactly your type that all you could do was shlick to yourself in the mirror all day until you made the room stink and gave yourself a terrible rash.
More often then not I've seen where people who are trans are still attracted to the gender they were attracted to before, there are exceptions but most of the time that's how it goes.
How is that homophobic? Yes I obviously don't know them or their sexuality, and the comment wasn't supposed to be taken seriously, just to state how good dick feels in a vagina.
I think I read it as much more serious than it was intending to be, to me it seemed like the person was denying the idea of them being homosexual because they are conventionally "straight" now.
Is it just one day, or ongoing? Either way I'm probably going to take the day, call out from work, tell my family I'm not feeling well, and furiously google my symptoms.
Not really a man (Agender and Intersex) but I am Male so I feel like I can answer this one.
I have a developmental condition which affects my body's ability to produce androgens so for me I wouldn't be much different aside from genitals since I never finished puberty and likely wouldn't have then either.
Not as big of a setback or difference than it would be for someone else but not being able to pee while standing would be a very big negative for me and I'm not really sure what I would do about that (probably get a Phalloplasty so I can pee properly again).
If I woke up as female, I am Agender so I'm not a woman because I do not identify as one.
Essentially though yes, yes I would, because even though I am Agender having a penis is something that feels right for me.
I know that I'm going to get shit for this from people who don't understand why something like this is important to me, but I'm used to it, NonBinary identities are much less recognized and often stigmatized (even in safe spaces 😔).
With what? I stated that I am not transfem and that if the circumstance in question happened to me it would make me unhappy and I would take steps to reverse it. Not really much more to say to that.
I suppose I should give the context that I recently discovered I'm trans/nonbinary. So being able to transition without the risks inherent in hormones and surgery, and to transition more completely than any of those, would be cause for me for celebration.
I kind of agree, the comments about masturbating to one's self are a bit gross and kind of feel like they are fetishizing trans people, not cool people, not cool.
It is in general considered pretty disrespectful to fetishize transness, because it almost portrays trans people as if they are sex objects, as opposed to real people who should be treated with dignity and respect.
Fetishising trans people is bad. But if you're trying to say people are wrong for having gender transformation based fetishes, you've completely lost the line here. It's a complex topic, but you're denying people's sexual expression by saying it's "not ok" to fetishize anything about gender. Which is just an absurd take. Someone can be trans and be sexually aroused by the idea of having sex and/or masturbating as a female. Or they might not be trans but still have that sexual fantasy. That's totally normal and isn't "fetishizing trans people"
Try out for the WNBA. I'd be one of the tallest and no one would think about driving the lane on me. I'd be a white Dennis rodman of the league. Easily be the best rebounder of all time.
Had one girlfriend that had an orgasm every few minutes by fucking, fingering, getting eaten out, masturbation... Basically every kind of sex made her come immediately. She really was a miracle. One day she came 40 times in a row. I counted intentionally that day because I was wondering how often she could come. We only stopped that day because I was completely done and exhausted and drained.
She felt great and wanted to continue.
Having dated the polar opposite of that, it sounds very fun…
Yeah, it's tough when no matter how much you try it just won't happen. Had a girlfriend once that seemed to actively avoid getting there, she would clench her highs around my hand so I couldn't move anymore and stuff like that every time she got close
Gotta have something to make up for all the bleeding.
My brain would die from dopamine poisoning.
I used to be a woman, so I’d say I freak out and then I’d be depressed lol
Hardware factory reset
HereWeGoAgain.jpg
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xNh8_jW9h-k
::: spoiler spoiler Not exactly the same thing but w/e :::
LOL
Story behind your transition, if you're comfortable?
As in, how did I figure out I was a boy? Sure.
I always felt like “one of the boys” from a very young age. I’d play games for “boys”, played hockey, took boxing classes etc., hung out exclusively with boys and hated girls.
Around the age of 12, I went clothes shopping with my mom, and I asked for boys clothes. She refused and I cried myself to sleep that night. Many more times I asked for boys / men’s clothes and got denied, and every time I fell into a deep (diagnosed) depression.
I had no idea why, nor what “being trans” was or meant. Over the years, I kept saying things like “if I was a boy, I would x” or “if I was a boy my name would be x”, to which my friends reacted with “you know cis people don’t say or think those things as often as you do right? Might wanna get that checked out”.
It took until feb. 2023 for me to seek help, and when I did they were all unanimous: I am trans. I bought men’s clothes, stopped shaving and begun hormone therapy in May. I’ve never been this happy in my entire life.
My boyfriend stuck around (he’s bi) and has been super supportive.
Thanks
I like your friends gentle encouragements. Thanks for sharing!
Be confused. Then probably masturbate.
Play with my boobs
I wonder if they've got bigger or smaller as a result of the transformation.
My wife is bi and apparently reeeeeeaaaaaaally good at eating pussy. I'd have to check that out.
I also choose this guy's bi wife.
Hey, is your wife single?
Nah, me and her girlfriend are enough for her right now.
Masturbate, max out my credit cards on clothes and same-day sex toys, body hair removal, stab myself in the eye with mascara and eyeliner pencil, book tubal ligation, get period stopping birth control, septum ring, mani-pedi, smash gashes with lasses, fuck myself sore.
Day 2 would be a self-care day of cozy sweaters, cocoa, movies, and trying to vibrate my clit off.
You really get it lol. Also, hope you don't wake up on the first day of the periods. Or the 3 days before. Or the 5 days during the period and 2 days after :)
Day one waking up with an axe wound would not be a great start. I'd probably just have to try out the massage setting on the showerhead and shove some paper towels up there. Then put on sweatpants and a hoodie then run to the store to pickup midol, period supplies, ugly underwear, chocolate, and a vibrator.
I can only describe my periods this way: like someone is twisting a serrated knife constantly in your belly (uterus). Up and down, left, right, up and down... It doesn't stop for 3 days straight...I'm really looking forward to menopause...no amount of painkillers help. But the chocolate and nice people does :)
Do you have endometriosis?
Yes.
You just described my weekends.
Lol. Lmao. Just the rudest awakening not even 5hrs in.
Oh honey. You’re gonna learn lots real quick.
Same-day delivery. I considered saying "next-day" or "overnight sex toys from Japan", but the reality would be me being impatient.
That would be a Tinder hookup.
#MASTURBATION!
Yuuuuuuup
Panic. I'd immediately wonder if I suffered a stroke in the middle of the night that makes me think I changed. Or if I did magically change, did other people's memories change too? I'd check my ID, birth certificate, any other paperwork, even old pictures for signs of gender. Figure out a way to indirectly ask a family member. Try to tell if my pets recognize me or are treating me like a stranger.
I'd have to text out sick from work as long as possible because I wouldn't know how to explain my sudden difference in voice and appearance. I'd be too busy panicking over what happened and trying to reevaluate everything I know about myself. Am I gay now? Am I trans now? Do all my interests stay the same? My socialization as a child didn't change and it's nurture not nature, right? Are my genetics different? Am I prone to different health risks now? Am I still me or did asgardian aliens put my memories in a clone body and mess up a chromosome?
If I don't change back I'll start doing research into legally changing gender and coming up with a story to tell everyone who knew me. I live in an area that's fairly pro-trans so at least I wouldn't have to face insurmountable legal hurdles to get a name and ID swap. At some point I'd consider HRT to go back, but that can take so long (especially because I'd sound insane if I explained what happened) I'd realistically have to transition both directions legally, which I imagine would be its own hell.
Eventually I'd calm down enough to explore myself physically.
Sounds like the most thought out response. I sometimes wonder how many cis folk are cis because they have a gender identity solidly planted in the cultural and phenotypic sex of their body and how many are cis because they really don't have a strong underlying preference so whatever their body is it would not cause them any real discomforts.
I definitely know folk who I suspect fit both of these models. Those cis folk who experience gender euphoria are sometimes not very subtle about it.
I'm cis woman, not a hyper-feminine sort but SO into being female-bodied, loved being pregnant and nursing kids, love sex as a woman. The actual biological woman-ness I identify with so strongly. Cultural ideas of femininity or masculinity can fuck right off, and anyone should be whoever they are, and clothing wise I stay more neutral usually, never dresses. But personally I'd have utter dismay if I woke up in a male body.
Commiserate with all of this. When I first came out I felt like I had to scream "femme" every waking moment with dresses. Nowadays I've just been wearing a flannel and jeans. I have long hair now that I'm debating on cutting short (since everyone else in roller derby has). Definitely wishing I could have been pregnant. Still debating on inducing lactation just to see what it feels like. Just grateful I have a woman's body now.
If you are planning on having somehow a baby that will be a newborn, nursing is the best. Free food for the baby, bonding, closeness, magic. Even if you can't make enough to feed them, giving them what you do have is good for their development, nursing gives them more than food. But it tanked my sex drive something awful, I would not do it, personally, unless it was to feed someone.
And congratulations on your transition:)
Definitely what I am talking about! A lot of trans folk aren't really all that enamored with the cultural trappings of masculinity or femininity either. It's just a tool to allow us to be recognized by others and maybe emphasize what we may be lacking. A lot of the late transition folk I know find a solid measure of that euphoria.
I feel like under the hood gender is really interesting and a lot of cis folk just never really think about what it actually means to them? Operating at a deficit or discovering your joy in a non-standard presentation definitely forces you to think about it. I feel like binary trans folk just experience what you feel but under the reverse of circumstance. It's harder I think for folk who don't have direct match to empathize with the binary trans experience...
The other side of things seems sort of closer to a non-binary situation but where the rewards are not really strong enough to act. The path of least resistance just works well enough. Holding up a mirror to cis-ness I feel like is something we as a society don't really do. We skirt it tentitivly when we ask these pop culture questions of "what if you woke up as the opposite sex? " But most people's take goes no deeper than "lol BOOBS!"
Yes I had this debate with the husband. I am sure if I'd been born in a male body it would have caused me distress, I've always known I was, well, female, it fits and I didn't grow up in a gender-divded household, kids were just kids, my mom made us all do the same things, she didn't really enculturate us. He thinks that it's just because I did have a girl body and if I had been a boy I'd have been happy with that but I don't think so.
One of our (many) kids is F-to-M, presents boy, wants to be a man when adult not a woman. I was honestly surprised when he told me because my conception of womanhood is so broad I had just thought they basically had the fashion sense of a styleless 40 year old lesbian. Both the youngest ones preferred to bind rather than bra, and the older of them is girl still so that didn't raise any sort of flag either.
But anyway - I have had plenty of opportunity in my life to think about this stuff, in a lot of ways. It's all been brought to the surface.
It's pretty easy for transmasc folk to fly under the wire because a lot of the cultural stuff on the girl side of things have been broken wide open. It's more widely regarded as sexist to try and force women to conform to all the trappings of traditional womanhood than it nessisarily is the other way around. I know a lot of binary trans women who wish they could just wear shlumpy hoodies and jeans and go out without a full face of makeup and have short easy to manage hair like cis women do but then everybody who doesn't know them doesn't pick up on the visual cues they need to make the assumptions to take the steps to gender them properly.
I feel like the concept of gender being wholly performative is really bullshit. You can see it a bit in the specific way misgendering stings? It's like it's the verbal equivalent of someone pointing our some sort of injury or a deformity that you've learned to live with. You can forget it yourself most of the time by just focusing on things if other people aren't constantly pointing it out but it's such a bloody drag when you realize people are noticing and focusing on that. The performance aspects of gender are just the protective shell of that innate feeling rather than the sorce of the feeling itself.
I agree with this. But there are only those three layers, right? The mind, your inner self; the body and the masculinity/femininity performance outward part.
I strongly agree it's easier for me to be sort of androgynous in the outward aspect and still be mostly seen as who I am, simply because my mind and body are aligned womanly. I can not give a shit about being feminine and still be seen as womanly (though I am old enough to remember when that wasn't true, and got bullied plenty for not presenting feminine). That is so (and still) much harder for men. So much harder. And yes I understand so much harder than that for trans women. If a male bodied person who is a woman isn't doing the dance of femininity I don't see a woman, unless I know them, right?
Still would say honestly that it's the biological nature of being a woman I enjoy about being me. Living in the body that gave birth to other people, and the sexual response. Beyond being physically embodied at all, which is obviously lucky. Even if I had to be a guy I'd want a female body. My trans son doesn't seem to mind having a female body either, periods and all, it's more about the outside to him I guess.
It's a little different for everyone. Sometimes it's more based in joy than pain or if things don't get in your way or you have active plans to change it's easier to live with them as a temporary nuisance. Sexual organs are often fairly low on the priority list because the surgeries around them can be a bit scary given the recovery regimen and with ftm bottom surgery you have to decide on what you specifically value in regards to function because nothing is perfect and it's a little more difficult to be enthusiastic about something that feels like a compromise. It's also scary in the way you could potentially make a choice out of the ones available and later on potentially wish you chose a different surgery option.
With hysterectomy as well if you aren't fantastically rich and can afford suragacy you have to give up on the idea of kids. So a lot of the biological concerns are very wrapped up in practicality and once you have a strong sense of where your values and what your overall life planning are the compromises make sense and become tolerable.
The HRT aspects are usually the bits that folk find relieving on the FTM side of things because you get more of the trappings you get to see and experience while you are out walking the world. The deep voice, the facial hair and the way fat redistributes itself on the body. A lot of people find that feeling of revelling in the things they enjoy about being in their body which allows you to focus on the good and dismiss the stuff you don't like.
I believe I'm the latter in this unauthorized and unofficial poll.
I'm a lot more attached to my sexuality than my gender. I am definitely attracted to women. I am a man because it's more convenient for me to be a man however. I have thought about whether I'm NB due to my indifference, but then I rethink my thoughts and notice
and just decide to stop there, I don't have to care about the "because". I'm a keep it simple stupid kinda person.
It's valid. Being non-binary trans being treated as my birth sex causes me all kinds of underlying social anxiety and makes me hate being around people the same way I hate looking in mirrors. I assume the inconvenience of having to educate people on my specific needs because the burden of doing so is more often lesser than the discomfort of not doing so.
If I don't bother to correct someone's assumptions in a social setting it's usually because either I expect to deal with the person only very rarely and I do not give much weight at all to how they think of me... But the interaction does still remind me of everything I don't like about my experience and makes me self conscious in a harmful way.
If it were something based out of a lack of feeling rather than a surfit it would probably be a fairly innert part of the way I express myself.
I obviously don't know what it would have been like if I were born female, maybe I would still be a man. As of right now though, I wear men's clothes because I always have, wear a man's hairstyle because I have always have, use he/him because I always have... It feels more like inertia than a part of me, along with just being easier to conform to something I don't particularly care about, so if the ball had started off rolling the otherway... I dunno though. I suppose another explaination is that I'm just really secure in my "manness" I don't feel any need to convince myself that I am man, I just am one. Probably why I don't care about the "because" I just don't need it.
My answer to the initial question would depend on how much it upended my life I suspect. If I woke up, I was a woman and everyone remembered me as always being a woman, my wardrobe filled with skirts and I could slot right in, I think I'd just keep on trucking after some initial shock. But, if I had to explain that "I'm a woman now", buy new clothes, and all that nonsense, I think my answer would more closely resemble the parent comment.
That's an interesting thought.
Back when I was five or seven if I suddenly one day woke up as a girl I probably would have had a massive panic attack and freaked out for a day and after some therapy and time to process I would have just been like, "oh okay well I guess I'm a girl now".
Nowadays other than the fact that it would cause ripple effects throughout my life that I can't even possibly predict, i wouldn't even care that much. Oh shit, dick fell off.
I mean for a lot of us the horror doesn't kick in til puberty. When you are a kid all it takes for someone to clock you as another gender is changing your clothes and whatever you have in your pants doesn't really matter so much. You might have been more okay than you think at age five or seven.
So you're NOT going to immediately touch yourself carnally?
https://y.yarn.co/0fcd3a0a-a973-4525-a7bb-05985136ea02_text.gif
The most manly way to go about being a woman suddenly. Applause from me kind stranger
Been there done that :P
Same
Also: hi Ada 😸
Hi! :)
Freak out a little then masturbate all morning for sure.
Hopefully be a hot one and fuck every guy I could (yes, im gay)
I'm glad I'm not the only one who immediately thought: "I wanna get fucked by ALL the men!"
Figure out how much stuff I could fit into my hot pocket.
Does everyone else I know remember me as male and now I am female or am I waking up in a world where this is normal for everyone but me?
If I were making it a movie it would be a reverse ;Quantum Leap.' You'd look the same as always to everyone else, but you'd see yourself as a woman.
Let the homies hit.
Who said I am stopping the homies now?
Call one of my woman friends and ask them come over to help me to learn do the woman stuff I don't know how to do.
Get naked and stare at myself in the mirror I guess
Find it really effin fascinating. But then keep dressing in mens clothes.
I have a fascination with gender swapping (and general body transformation) but it has never extended to clothes. I dont get why its so often clothes and crossdressing that other people of this kind enjoy. I just would appreciate a different body. And lower height. And not being so scary-looking. But being socially able to dress in female clothing doesnt interest me at all.
Everybody's experience being trans is different and you don't even have to fit all the symptoms to be trans
I can't say if you are trans or not because that is for you to discover
I'm not. I'm not that uncomfortable in my current body. Just small annoyances. And the wish to try something new. I guess.
I'm trans, and that was pretty much my experience too.
Depends on how hot I look.
You sure?
My luck I would look exactly the same, just a hole where my genitals used to be.
I'm sure someone would still smash though
Me personally I would be extremely happy and not depressed anymore since I'd have a body that matches me
No I don't identify as male, I used too until my egg cracked
I hope one day you wake up in the body you were meant to have, stranger 🤎
Is this a trans question
Definitely seems like something you'd see on ![email protected], ![email protected], or the old subreddits of the same content.
I was curious to see how people would react in a situation like this
I'm also a transbian in the closet so that may have been also part of the motivation in me asking this question
Skirt go spinny also tell my gf
Psst You don't need to be a girl to enjoy Skirt go spinny. Everyone can enjoy it regardless of gender or sex.
That is true I'm only saying it's not needed to like feminine clothes or that liking feminine clothes doesn't automatically make someone trans (only identifying as trans makes someone trans), I know a lot of Femboys who enjoy it while still identifying as male (myself included).
Not saying that they can't be or certainly aren't trans.
I know this is a stereotypical answer, but honestly: playing with my breasts.
Earn less...
Feel upset, probably extreme body dysphoria.
I'd probably have to go through the long process of transitioning back as well as all the financial, legal, and medical problems associated with it, which would probably include immigration to a place where it's easier.
At the very least I am androgynous so it probably wouldn't take as long for me to get back to at least close to how I am but it would still suck.
That's an optimistic outlook by the way, I'm not going to discuss pessimistic/realistic because it's sad, unpleasant, and may trigger people.
Yeah, I'd probably just spend the day flicking the bean.
I will have sex with my friend Ali.
Otherwise he will die a virgin.
Why wait
Lol, you sure care about your friend.
Hope I'm attractive enough to make a living on 0nlyF@ns
Oof, that will have to be a very busy day. But if it's just for one day then I guess just sleep it off.
I'd agree with you if the question was "Men of lemmy, what would you do if you woke up female for one day". But that wasn't the question. As it stands the question could just as easily mean that one day they wake up female and then are female for the rest of their lives. It's ambiguous, but personally I did not interpret the question as for only a single day.
Why censor it's name?
I wasn't being paid for advertisement
On the long term, if I'm goodlooking enough I would really consider making a living whoring myself out on Twitch and OnlyFans.
I would also find out how bi-curious is my SO.
Your sex isn't exactly what's holding you back.
Males don't sell as good as females...
You don't think there's a market for gay guys? The backbone and indeed front bone of tinder?
No there's really not. Is this a serious question?
Mood.
Wear skirts more often.
I... don't really know? I legit don't know whether I'd feel dysphoria if I woke up in a female body unless it happened. I don't feel dysphoria in my current body but I like crossdressing and I'm not really that attached to the notion that I'm a man.
You could be trans or non-binary
Non binary is basically not conforming to the binary male / female genders
But this is just what your comment sounds like to me
You should take my comment as a suggestion only and explore what you wrote in your comment means to you personally
You sound similar to me, I've never thought much about gender and I dress very GNC (Gender-Nonconforming). Though I'm not sure I wouldn't feel anything negative considering that the lack of a penis would negatively affect my life.
Also ignoring other feminine features because due to my genetic condition they probably wouldn't be present anyway (Have a condition that affects my sexual development and essentially prevented me from going through puberty).
Buy pads. Wouldn't know when cycle starts.
Depends, am I female because magic is real or am I female because my gender fluidity kicked in over night and swung the needle?
Biological sex is generally considered to be distinct from gender.
Dresses. Big, cute dresses. Skirts, even.
No need to wish you were a woman for that, go live your dream
I'm afraid it's not so simple in my case. I live in the deep rural US. It's not worth it in any aspect.
That sounds good. I would happily accept.
I would announce my transition online and isolate myself for 6 months with no pictures so I can try to keep being identified by society as the same person and not become undocumented and lose everything I own etc. Nobody's going to believe a story about magic bullshit, they would just assume you're a different person.
Depends if other people could tell, or if it was just my genitals that changed.
I’d fart so I could feel it bubbling up through my vag.
That doesn't always happen. You have to be seated a certain way for it to work.
Teach us your ways, sensei.
You have to become one with yourself first, child.
I do that all the time! Sometimes several times a day!
Good job! Not that you've got that out of the way, the next thing to do is grow a vagina. Once you do that, you're set to go!
Then I’d eat Taco Bell and practice until I get it right.
With that username, god help us all!
The same thing I would have done the moment I woke up anyway, but with a vagina. Masturbate.
Imagine if you woke up not only a woman, but a woman so exactly your type that all you could do was shlick to yourself in the mirror all day until you made the room stink and gave yourself a terrible rash.
Only difference to my regular activities is that I'd be a woman 🤷🏻♂️
Depends on the guy, is he attractive? Gotta try 2-3 times to be sure I don't like it.
Is 2 to 3 times enough to be sure? Better make it 6 times, or 10 or so. Or more?
If you're fully a woman and you're straight you actually might want some dick. It's not like it's a choice
More often then not I've seen where people who are trans are still attracted to the gender they were attracted to before, there are exceptions but most of the time that's how it goes.
Oh, trust me, you will!
That's a bit homophobic and dismissive towards another person's sexuality. Another person who you don't personally know might I add.
How is that homophobic? Yes I obviously don't know them or their sexuality, and the comment wasn't supposed to be taken seriously, just to state how good dick feels in a vagina.
I can see two quite different ways to read the comment you are replying to. Are you sure you have got the correct interpretation?
I think I read it as much more serious than it was intending to be, to me it seemed like the person was denying the idea of them being homosexual because they are conventionally "straight" now.
Have sex as often at possible. Which probably is very often.
Take a hot shower and avoid cold water I figure.
Is that a Ranma 1/2 reference?
Yeah man, but I'd totally stick with Shampoo while mastering the Anything Goes school.
Is it just one day, or ongoing? Either way I'm probably going to take the day, call out from work, tell my family I'm not feeling well, and furiously google my symptoms.
Yes, I’d spend all day “googling” my “symptoms” as well. 😏
I'd tell her that she overslept, which is why I woke her up.
as a trans guy this question is very silly to me
Not really a man (Agender and Intersex) but I am Male so I feel like I can answer this one.
I have a developmental condition which affects my body's ability to produce androgens so for me I wouldn't be much different aside from genitals since I never finished puberty and likely wouldn't have then either.
Not as big of a setback or difference than it would be for someone else but not being able to pee while standing would be a very big negative for me and I'm not really sure what I would do about that (probably get a Phalloplasty so I can pee properly again).
So..umm..your saying if you woke up a women you would immediately have a penis installed?
If I woke up as female, I am Agender so I'm not a woman because I do not identify as one. Essentially though yes, yes I would, because even though I am Agender having a penis is something that feels right for me.
I know that I'm going to get shit for this from people who don't understand why something like this is important to me, but I'm used to it, NonBinary identities are much less recognized and often stigmatized (even in safe spaces 😔).
Lol. I’m only saying that I think it misses the point of the question but what the fuck do I know? No judgement here, buddy
Huh
Please. Go on.
With what? I stated that I am not transfem and that if the circumstance in question happened to me it would make me unhappy and I would take steps to reverse it. Not really much more to say to that.
Celebrate
Let the boys hit it?
Celebrate. And autogynophilic comments are kinda gross tbh.
I suppose I should give the context that I recently discovered I'm trans/nonbinary. So being able to transition without the risks inherent in hormones and surgery, and to transition more completely than any of those, would be cause for me for celebration.
I kind of agree, the comments about masturbating to one's self are a bit gross and kind of feel like they are fetishizing trans people, not cool people, not cool.
So people aren't allowed to fetishize gender transformation in general?
It is in general considered pretty disrespectful to fetishize transness, because it almost portrays trans people as if they are sex objects, as opposed to real people who should be treated with dignity and respect.
Fetishising trans people is bad. But if you're trying to say people are wrong for having gender transformation based fetishes, you've completely lost the line here. It's a complex topic, but you're denying people's sexual expression by saying it's "not ok" to fetishize anything about gender. Which is just an absurd take. Someone can be trans and be sexually aroused by the idea of having sex and/or masturbating as a female. Or they might not be trans but still have that sexual fantasy. That's totally normal and isn't "fetishizing trans people"
Would I still look like me, just more feminine?
If so, cry.
Try out for the WNBA. I'd be one of the tallest and no one would think about driving the lane on me. I'd be a white Dennis rodman of the league. Easily be the best rebounder of all time.
Probably the same thing I'm doing right now.
Nuthin?
Nuttin'
No! It's november!
likely wonder if I went insane. same if "god" or my dog started talking to me or I seemed to have superpowers.
Contact my bank and the DVLA
See if my wife is as straight as she insists she is.
Try to get her to go back to sleep. This is the one time I get to myself to play video games