whats your thought on open relationship?
whats your thought on open relationship? if both living in different states
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View original on lemmy.worldwhats your thought on open relationship? if both living in different states
35 replies
Open relationships may work, if you're both comfortable knowing the other sleeps with other people. But living in different states? That sounds more like fuck buddies than a relationship to me.
I'm polyamorous myself, I think it's just important to clearly establish rules about it with the people you are dating. Personally, my only rule is that anyone already in the relationship needs to agree when adding a new person. If someone says no, then it's no
So ive been in open poly relationships before and am very sex positive. The problem is several fold and it mostly comes down to education of everyone involved and comfort of all parties.
If there are any hard feelings in the relationship they will be compounded. So make sure the relationship is solid first.
Also being open doesnt automatically mean each person can do whatever they want. Talk yo your partner about partners you want to being in. Talk to the new people about your current partner. Make sure everyone is kosher about what's happening (and also make sure everyone is regularly getting tested for STDs)
My thought is "Why?".
I fell like you need to people who are radically honest with others and I don't understand why the long distance relationship is being maintained.
I think why you are choosing to do it matters. I think open relationships can be successful, but like are you doing it to keep a relationship on the rocks going? Or are you both legitimately capable of polyamory and able to be available to each other and your other partners in a way that doesn't feel demeaning to anyone involved?
I haven't been able to subdue/erase/accept the emotion of jealousy, which sort of makes me unable to enjoy the wonders of it, but I wish I could. 😭
With that said, I am a relationship anarchist. 😊 I don't believe in distinctions and labels. There is only what you and I have, period. Regardless of whether it's sexual, romantic, platonic or whatever.
As long as both are consenting adults, whatever I think doesn't matter.
If it works, it works.
Considering that people often hookup just for sex, I don't see why it couldn't work in this case.
It seems like an exhaustingly complex set of boundaries to keep and tends to create winners and losers out of third parties if the boundaries are rigidly followed in most cases. I think being that secure is somewhat admirable, but it also seems like a devastating fall to make if things don't work out. Different folks have different ways of doing things, I think it's fine, just not for me personally and I definitely wouldn't want to be the 3rd party to it either.
i try not too much concern myself with other peoples relationships
Why comment?
Why not? OP asked what people think. The response is valid.
It's a non answer that just serves to pat themselves on the back for being "good". The question is also about the concept of open relationships. You can talk about that concept without viewing it through the lense of other people's business. It's a frustrating thing I see regularly in comments on posts like this. The idea you have to comment just to let everyone know you don't have an opinion because you're too moral.
Did you just comment to whine about someone else's comment to show off how much better you are by (incorrectly) saying their view wasn't meaningful enough?
No, no OP has a point. That poster's comment was inane, and you are only looking stupid by defending that as a good post
The issue is people not having a stake in something and still believing they are entitled to speak
Choosing not to be judgemental of others is an active choice.
Their view added nothing. It served only to show that they don't have an opinion. So again, why comment if you're not willing to have an opinion. Its just moral posturing, its annoying and cringy.
what's your thought on homosexual relationship?
I would place them in the same category as monogamous heterosexual relationships. I think creating a delineation between heterosexual relationships and homosexual ones like your doing is a strange way to make a point. I also lived with a lesbian couple for a few years when I was younger. In my personal anecdotal experience, I like hanging out with lesbian couples more than gay male couples, but about as much as heterosexual couples. Granted, that's my personal lived experience. I wouldn't assume I'd get along better with either on average though. Mostly just the people I knew. Weird to create that divide considering an open relationship is in no way equivalent to a gay one. In fact, some open relationships are gay.
I'm newly poly and my wife and girlfriend both live in town, but it's really fulfilling for all of us
waste of time.
way too many people pursue the wrong people and do stuff like open relationships as a cope.
If by cope, you mean it has emotional utility, then, yeah. All relationships are a cope for loneliness and disconnection, no matter the arrangment.
Look like doom to failed.
Yep, do open poly if you want, but this arrangement here just seems like "I want permission to cheat" more than "I want an open relationship". Sounds like they found someone else and don't have the stones to break up.
Yeah but anyone who sees sex in an open relationship as cheating, probably was never actually in an open relationship.
Its like saying going outside is just permission to leave the windows open - like there are no windows outside, and if you're finding walls windows supported by ceilings, there's a good chance youre still inside.
If you're living in different states and are in an open relationship then you're not in a relationship that needs a qualifier. I mean, to each their own, but trying to navigate social norms while going against social norms is just ironic.
Is it even a "relationship" then?
On what terms? Do they have plans for life? Together?? Why is one of them asking for "open" (whatever that means in this case)?
IMHO It might well be that the one has already given up the other, but the other doesn't admit reality...
Who determines what a relationship is/isn't?
OP and (maybe) their SO, in this case.
Completely depends on long term goals. Is it something you're looking to try?
I would not rule it out, but if I were to guess it's not something for me.
Well, one advantage is you can't get cheated on.
Sure can't cheat in the traditional sense.
If someones open relation has set boundries (ie don't fool around with co-workers) and those boundries are crossed it's the same dynamics as cheating (soreone did somethingsthey weren't supposed to.