In the Navy, there was this woman with the last name Guzzler and she was a nuclear electronics technician, which meant that before hitting the rank of E-4 that she was a Seaman. She was Seaman Guzzler. The military is pretty misogynistic, and so even her superiors took joy in taking jabs at her as is the name Guzzler wasn't bad enough by itself for a woman in the military.
That story makes no sense. He always used half face helmets. Even when he had a full face, he smoked through the window of the helmet. Sounds like a story a tobacco sponsor would promote.
Trickle killed himself after suffering years of chest pain definitively not due to his smoking.
Barry Sheene had a hole in his Motorcycle helmet for smoking.
That's why I referred to the story as a "legend" (and it is a story that had been passed around for decades), not a fact that I can provide documentary proof of for a humorous internet comment.
Knew a kid in elementary school who had the last name Gaylord, teased mercilessly. He would tell the teacher on the first day of class to just call him by his first name but they never did
There is a plumbing company in northern Virginia that is family owned. It was founded by Richard and is called Wacker Plumbing. Yes indeed his name is Dick Wacker.
Null. There are articles online about people with this surname and the problems they face in everyday life.
For those who don't know, null means "nothing" or "missing data" in computer systems and databases. Properly coded systems handle it correctly but there are so many badly coded and/or legacy systems that simply crash or behave incorrectly when that surname is entered.
I worked with someone back in the '90s who claimed he once worked for a Richard Butt, who would go by the nickname Dick. As mentioned, this was the '90s so it was well before the more famous dickbutt.
My parents frequently refer to such a person from their job at a grain elevator. His last name is Butts though not butt, so maybe it's not the same guy?
"Van De Neuker" which translates as "from the fucker". In ye olden days "De Neuker" was the man who went around with his male pig to impregnate the female pigs of other people.
As a side gig, paid, but not enough to live from it. And you really have to love your hog, treat it like a champ, compete in competitions with it, ... If successful enough, people will be calling you to come fuck their pigs.
The US ambassador to the UK during Trump's first term was Woody Johnson. In this case, though, he chose to go by it, so I'm assuming that he doesn't consider it unfortunate.
Not just one but two. Weiner and Munch. Their offices were right next to each other and it didn't matter who was on either side. It was still comedy gold.
In some countries, the young version of "Mister" is "Master", and you even have to fill that out on your visa forms. So like... this guy's visa could literally say "Master Bator Jim".
Carr, Wayne... in England. Parents must have been right bunch of assholes.
IIRC he kept using his middle name, it's only through another colleague we found out
to segue, Asian company names can be great when they romanise them, "Pondscum Realty" in Cambodia. I have no idea what it was supposed to be in the original Khmer (Green Lakes or something like that perhaps ? ) but it always made me smile when i went past, this was a decade ago and I assume they used some shitty literal google translation.
There's someone making TV shows (producer or director) with that name, so on some pretty famous shows like Parks n Rec the opening credits have Norm Hiscock.
Actually Olivia Wilde's real last name is pronounced Coburn but spelled Cockburn.
When last names became mandatory a lot of people chose funny ones as an act of rebellion. It's also why a lot of last names come from places, occupations and first names.
Whether or not Fingerbottom is one of those, I wouldn't know.
Butts. Had a plumbing company ironically. Butts Plumbing.
The classic ones are Dong. Grocery store I saw once had a the bulbs burn out partially. So when I passed it at night, it read Dong A 2 M (the arket lights where out). So nightly specials of dong, ass to mouth? Thought about writing a review but forgot where it was. "Great deals on food and groceries, but the nightly specials are something else."
Other than the standard Wang and Dong (and one with the alternative spelling Dung) I knew a Dickson who worked with a Cox. And one salesman with a normal last name "Ashman" and a first name starting with R whose company gave him the email address "rashman" rather than "ashmanr".
Worked with a lady with the last name Hoare. (Not sure on the spelling, it’s been some time.) She was a very nice older woman from Australia, was always the first to make the joke.
My dear friend Thomas Dyck married his highschool sweetheart, Annie(Anita) Savage. They were going to hyphenate the surnames for the lulz. Yes, Anita Savage-dyck.
Someone with a first-name sounding like 'offence' is messaging me on LinkedIn. It's for a weird "we'll maybe pay you for open-source work if we like it" bait/switch.
In this case the colleague was not from my country and not aware of the meaning his surname had here, but now that you mention it…
There have been cases of forced surname registration for cultures and populations that historically did not have them or who did not want to identify themselves, so these people chose silly names, either not realizing or not caring that they would become permanent.
94 replies
In the Navy, there was this woman with the last name Guzzler and she was a nuclear electronics technician, which meant that before hitting the rank of E-4 that she was a Seaman. She was Seaman Guzzler. The military is pretty misogynistic, and so even her superiors took joy in taking jabs at her as is the name Guzzler wasn't bad enough by itself for a woman in the military.
I still feel bad for her to this day.
NASCAR racing legend, Dick Trickle.
He was a badass, though. Legend has it that he had a hole drilled in the face shield of his helmet so he could still light up a smoke while driving.
That story makes no sense. He always used half face helmets. Even when he had a full face, he smoked through the window of the helmet. Sounds like a story a tobacco sponsor would promote.
Trickle killed himself after suffering years of chest pain definitively not due to his smoking.
Barry Sheene had a hole in his Motorcycle helmet for smoking.
He died of eosophageal cancer. Cool.
That's why I referred to the story as a "legend" (and it is a story that had been passed around for decades), not a fact that I can provide documentary proof of for a humorous internet comment.
They said UNfortuante
Had a classmate who had the surname Fucke. He took his wife’s name when he got married, as he was sick of the dumb jokes about his name.
I had asome soolmates with the last name Fuchs. Same kinda deal.
Knew a kid in elementary school who had the last name Gaylord, teased mercilessly. He would tell the teacher on the first day of class to just call him by his first name but they never did
—Ya fuck ONE dog...then—
I guy I went to school with last name of Dick. Always said he would name his son Harry and daughter Anita. I really hope he didn't
There is a plumbing company in northern Virginia that is family owned. It was founded by Richard and is called Wacker Plumbing. Yes indeed his name is Dick Wacker.
Wtf were his parents thinking, that sounds like a pornographic stge nsme
Alternately he could have been Rich Wacker and Luigi'd some billionaires and it would have made for a great news cycle.
Had a guy I worked with named Butts, I was like, oh, its probably got some other pronunciation, so I said "Mr. Boots?"
He got VERY angry and shouted "ITS PRONOUNCED BUTTS" loud enough that other people in the office turned to look at us.
"Okay, buddy. Don't lose your shit!"
Null. There are articles online about people with this surname and the problems they face in everyday life.
For those who don't know,
nullmeans "nothing" or "missing data" in computer systems and databases. Properly coded systems handle it correctly but there are so many badly coded and/or legacy systems that simply crash or behave incorrectly when that surname is entered.is Null capitalized in some?
In most languages, the case of datatypes is irrelevant; Null, null, nUlL, and NULL all represent the same value.
Its like the name equivalent of being born without or "losing" fingerprints
I worked with someone back in the '90s who claimed he once worked for a Richard Butt, who would go by the nickname Dick. As mentioned, this was the '90s so it was well before the more famous dickbutt.
My parents frequently refer to such a person from their job at a grain elevator. His last name is Butts though not butt, so maybe it's not the same guy?
He didn't tell me much about the guy, but I got the feeling it was an office job. So probably not.
My surname is Mucous
I once ran a credit card for a Richard P. Oreface
I know a man with the last name "Raper"
Adcock.
His first name was Daniel, and his email (typical company first initial last name @ company) was indeed unfortunate.
A classic.
I used to work with a guy called Frank Yu.
Our company emails were first initial, last name...
I worked with a guy named Paul Nessel whose email became [email protected]
Had a teacher called Mr. Dick.
Professor Cox, will you please join Mr. Dick tonight at the Brown Hall?
"Van De Neuker" which translates as "from the fucker". In ye olden days "De Neuker" was the man who went around with his male pig to impregnate the female pigs of other people.
As a prank or as a paid service? I'm looking for a new line of work.
As a side gig, paid, but not enough to live from it. And you really have to love your hog, treat it like a champ, compete in competitions with it, ... If successful enough, people will be calling you to come fuck their pigs.
Gotta make my parents proud somehow.
Do ya?
The US ambassador to the UK during Trump's first term was Woody Johnson. In this case, though, he chose to go by it, so I'm assuming that he doesn't consider it unfortunate.
Bonar. Good middle school times.
Not just one but two. Weiner and Munch. Their offices were right next to each other and it didn't matter who was on either side. It was still comedy gold.
Did they ever consummate?
One can only hope.
I know a guy with the surname of "Bator".
He's of course in my phone as "Master Bator". He's a good sport about all the jokes, luckily :)
In some countries, the young version of "Mister" is "Master", and you even have to fill that out on your visa forms. So like... this guy's visa could literally say "Master Bator Jim".
Laurens Nothdurft (AfD) (Notdurft is german for the urge to pee)
Cockfield
Carr, Wayne... in England. Parents must have been right bunch of assholes.
IIRC he kept using his middle name, it's only through another colleague we found out
to segue, Asian company names can be great when they romanise them, "Pondscum Realty" in Cambodia. I have no idea what it was supposed to be in the original Khmer (Green Lakes or something like that perhaps ? ) but it always made me smile when i went past, this was a decade ago and I assume they used some shitty literal google translation.
Great Dong
Hiscock...pronounces hizzuck
There's someone making TV shows (producer or director) with that name, so on some pretty famous shows like Parks n Rec the opening credits have Norm Hiscock.
Actually Olivia Wilde's real last name is pronounced Coburn but spelled Cockburn.
Titsworth
Fingerbottom
Seriously, like who comes up with this shit and names themself it?
Were their ancestors paid to finger bottoms or give prostate exams?
When last names became mandatory a lot of people chose funny ones as an act of rebellion. It's also why a lot of last names come from places, occupations and first names.
Whether or not Fingerbottom is one of those, I wouldn't know.
Probably location based. Family/village lived near the bottom of a peninsula or something.
Cox. Not so bad, unless your name is Richard. Dick Cox.
Yeah, so, why does Richard get abbreviated to Dick?
Butts. Had a plumbing company ironically. Butts Plumbing.
The classic ones are Dong. Grocery store I saw once had a the bulbs burn out partially. So when I passed it at night, it read Dong A 2 M (the arket lights where out). So nightly specials of dong, ass to mouth? Thought about writing a review but forgot where it was. "Great deals on food and groceries, but the nightly specials are something else."
Kerr. Not unfortunate at all unless paired with his first name, which was Wang. Not even joking. It wasn't a nickname, it was his actual name.
I knew a guy in highschool whose last name was Butt. Even more unfortunate that his first name was Harry.
Fagot. Nice guy, but God damn is that name unfortunate.
Fa-go?
Butt.
He was a customer and I was instructed to greet customers by last, not first, name.
I barely held in the laughter when **** Butt popped up on the screen.
Other than the standard Wang and Dong (and one with the alternative spelling Dung) I knew a Dickson who worked with a Cox. And one salesman with a normal last name "Ashman" and a first name starting with R whose company gave him the email address "rashman" rather than "ashmanr".
Zahomo
I believe their first name was Clayton
I once met a guy by the name of Paul Sack. We were teenagers, and he was fortunately at peace with it.
There's a politician named Richard Swett and he goes by Dick.
Worked with a lady with the last name Hoare. (Not sure on the spelling, it’s been some time.) She was a very nice older woman from Australia, was always the first to make the joke.
Knew a guy whose last name was Crone and he was dating someone with the last name Hague.
Some of these make me think of Mr. Smoke-too-much
You’d better cut down a little then
Wankhade
Pronounced 'wank a day'?
I don't know. I only message this chap on teams. I've never heard his name verbally before.
Is that JKR
I remember someone was on Forensic Files pretty often, they either had the last name "Dickgardender" or their name was "Dick Gardener".
Reed. Her first name starts with a B. So her email is BReed@****** hahahah. And she's a grade school teacher
I worked with a vendor years ago with the last name Hart. Same email address convention, his first name was Sean. shart@*****
Hahahahahaha that might be worse. I always wonder why they don't make exceptions to these shitty emails. At least put a period or something!
When I worked in a university one of the students in the Education department, specializing in High School teaching, was Ms. Assman.
Hitler. And he drove a lime green cybertruck.
Hogg.
Ross. Doesn't sound bad until you're called Gina and the company email is "first letter of the name+surname" (GRoss@...)
I worked with someone at an international company whose surname meant “shit” (verb) in my native language.
I wonder how names like that came to be in countries where the dominant language and the language of the name its in are the same
Who just names themself shit?
In this case the colleague was not from my country and not aware of the meaning his surname had here, but now that you mention it…
There have been cases of forced surname registration for cultures and populations that historically did not have them or who did not want to identify themselves, so these people chose silly names, either not realizing or not caring that they would become permanent.
I once knew a guy called Wayne Triest, which translates to "cry sad" in Dutch
Funny, isnt tristesse french for sadness? Probably both derived from Latin or something
Ye, same root, quite some overlap between the languages
I've known of people named: *Left Ball *Right Ball - the brother of Mr Left Ball above *Two people named Pussy - pronounced Pu-See
I've also heard of these, but can't confirm if they are actually names or just interesting thoughts on names: *Peter Hollowpeter *Iva Hollowpeter