Yes but not in a performative way. There's a thread of thinking in my head which goes over and over alt what exactly can I say and how the other party might react. This happens before and after a conversation, playing through their responses and what could I have said.
You know what's worse? When they follow the script exactly. If they do, why bother even talking to them? I mean, they're not safe enough to unmask around, hence the rehearsing. And you can guess their responses. I have run into this way too many times. I'm disappointed every time. If I've rehearsed a fight, and they follow the script exactly, it suddenly feels like playing chess against a toddler. Yeah, I'm going to win the argument. But does it even matter if I can fit all of their thoughts into mine? It makes me feel very alone when it happens.
I’ve tried doing this for important presentations, I think it’s something anxious people do at the very least. It’s more important to get a good lay of the facts instead of placing importance on what you’ll actually say, that much is less-so important.
In social settings it’s something I definitely do if I have to speak up. Though I usually wait too long and the topic changes and then I lose my opportunity. I’ve had limited success with starting a conversation very basically with just a ‘hello’ and then branching out from there based on what has to be said.
12 replies
Yes but not in a performative way. There's a thread of thinking in my head which goes over and over alt what exactly can I say and how the other party might react. This happens before and after a conversation, playing through their responses and what could I have said.
Helped or not, it can be exhausting.
Pretty sure that’s a general people thing. Basic human insecurity about other people and what is perceived as confrontation.
It is a general people thing. Although it's harder for people who don't have an inner monologue.
I practise conversations in my head all the time. Honestly it has helped
And then the participants don’t follow the script you’ve rehearsed, so you have to improvise a new script on the spot.
You know what's worse? When they follow the script exactly. If they do, why bother even talking to them? I mean, they're not safe enough to unmask around, hence the rehearsing. And you can guess their responses. I have run into this way too many times. I'm disappointed every time. If I've rehearsed a fight, and they follow the script exactly, it suddenly feels like playing chess against a toddler. Yeah, I'm going to win the argument. But does it even matter if I can fit all of their thoughts into mine? It makes me feel very alone when it happens.
This happens every time! Humans are so unpredictable.
Or, just freeze and stare at them until the script is resumed and/or time ends.
It's called practising what you preach 😤
/anxiety
I’ve tried doing this for important presentations, I think it’s something anxious people do at the very least. It’s more important to get a good lay of the facts instead of placing importance on what you’ll actually say, that much is less-so important.
In social settings it’s something I definitely do if I have to speak up. Though I usually wait too long and the topic changes and then I lose my opportunity. I’ve had limited success with starting a conversation very basically with just a ‘hello’ and then branching out from there based on what has to be said.
Yes. It's exhausting.
Whenever I have to make a phone call or have some form of difficult conversation, yeah