I'm not trying to emulate my capitalist landlord, but how can I impose rent on the spider that seems to have moved in to my network rack? 🕷️🕸️
Remove if inappropriate. I'm not member of any other fitting community. 🫣
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72 replies
Been thinking of hosting a webcrawler myself.
Sweet! Let me know when your Codeberg page is up. Meanwhile, are you leaning in any particular direction?
You should write a tiny letter
Seems to be a hard working web developer, surely he can pay his rent
Developing the web and catching bugs, sounds like they're earning their keep
No doubt! I should be thankful!
You could collect the spider silk and weave a cape. Golden Spider Silk Cape
I'm not well enough versed in the ways of textiles and such. But if the silk conducts current, maybe I could create some sort of signal carrying wires? And if they exceed CAT8 speeds, I'll trademark them.
Looks like you found yourself a network debugger
I was going to say web admin but yours is good too.
Came here to say this. Thank you for making my job easier!
OKAY. I thought all the funny responses were already exhausted xD <3
His pest removal services are worth nothing? You're already bartering.
Shoot! I had completely forgotten about that! Well, I'm convinced. They can stay rent free! :D
By avoiding being a capitalist landlord, you have become a feudalist landlord.
Except this is entirely on the spider's terms. Land is given but there's no quota, no tax. The spider may come and go as he pleases and only needs to catch enough pests to feed himself.
First, do you have access to a spider sized pen that it could use to sing a contract?
Hm... I have some ideas, but not ready to use pens: I'll dip my smallest screws - M.2 securing screws - in ink and hand it over to them as a "house" warming gift?
You have already realized that deception will be key. Bravo. Make sure you photograph the spider close to the paragraph that says "I have read and understood this entire agreement." This will be key to future enforcement actions.
I just love that you call it a network rack
😅
It also goes under
You've considered a capitalist solution, but have you considered
Restorative justice: the spider is a trespasser, but will likely not find enough prey to survive. Capture the spider and relocate it to a suitable habitat where it can thrive. Check on it occasionally to ensure it is doing well
Libertarian anarchism: leave it be. It will die, survive, or thrive on its own terms
Authoritarianism: tell the spider if it doesn't remove itself it will be arrested, start ordering it to get on the ground, fire 13 rounds at it, preferably missing all shots but hitting a nearby toddler. Institute martial law against the "foreign threat", citing the recent death of a toddler
House spiders generally don’t survive outdoors. They’re cave-dwelling species and they seek out indoor spaces by instinct.
I didn't know that, everyday is a schoolday.
This is a very good point. In rebuttal
A. I did say "a suitable habitat"
B. I was very clearly shitposting
Sure, though my comment wasn’t strictly a rebuttal to yours. It was as much an FYI to anyone who stumbled across our comments and has relocated spiders outside out of a desire to save them.
I'm glad you posted your original comment. I tend to be pretty tongue-in-cheek, both online and IRL. Sorry if it comes off as abrasive, in my mind it's all in good fun. Love you and hope you have a fantastic day <3
No worries! People can be both amused and informed!
This little heartfelt, wholesome back and forth between you two was exactly the medicine that I needed to calm my nerves after I unintentionally started what seems to have become the shitstorm of the ages over at [email protected] . May all the spiders of the universe have mercy on my soul.
If you’d like more wholesomeness and spiders, check out Travis McEnery’s The Spiders in Your House series. He goes really in depth on tons of spider science, all about common (and uncommon) house spider species! Both wholesome and informative stuff!
SirSamuel, you enlightened bastard! You don't know how much I needed this laugh.
Also, I decided to go the pre-Marxist socialist route: the spider is allowed to stay and to contribute according to its abilities and shall be compensated according to its contributions in the pest elimination field.
It gets to keep 25% of the bugs he catches. You get to eat the other 75%.
Any changes to the web will void it's deposit and you get to eat 500 of it's bugs to repair any damage.
Utilities are not included. There will be a 5 bug charge for each droplet of water it drinks from the faucet. Even though it lives near WiFi, there is a hookup fee and monthly cost of 25 bugs.
If it is late on monthly bug payments for more that 1-week. You get to eat it's web and all the bugs. The spider will be taken outside on a paper towel or in a cup and left on the nearest leaf.
Implement those and you'll eat like a king!
I died xD
But...
I'm affraid he'll try to circumvent my espionage with some spidey encryption... No idea how to counter that. :/
impose rent?
but...
it's already working for you, setting up traps for flies.
bloody capitalists... always short-sightedly, myopically, trying to maximise wealth extraction.
Its already a work in place of rent situation. I have tenants with similar contract in my kitchen window, my shower ceiling, the storage/work room window, and the one that doesn't follow the rules in the front entrance arch who is likely to be evicted.
Threaten it to call immigration if it doesn't pay up.
That's... low. Even for me. xD
Wow, nice rack!!!
Thanks 🍈🍈
I actually did a little more in depth boasting here a month or two ago.
I love this thread
Me too. I have no earthly idea on how it "blew up" like this. 🤣🩷
rent? it’s keeping your house pest free… you owe it money
(also obligatory that’s not a spider THIS is a spider from australia)
The problem with the implicit size comparison in the Crocodile Dundee reference is that Australian spider size is inversely proportional to their actual danger.
I went here to tempt fate. Jesus Christ. If it's any one of these living in my access point, I don't know... Would a Norwegian reboot kill it?
True... I don't know how to pay her though. PayPal? Ko-Fi?
ko-fly preferable to ko-squito… they’re both pests but those fees really sting
Keeping the computer bugs at bay
True. Fully automated out of the box too! Like, no scripting, no broken config files, whathaveyou.
She’s just trying to crawl the web!
I'm afraid of what she might scrape while crawling.
What do you mean? It is already working hard to get rid of all the flies in there.
You sound more like a capitalist CEO. Are you going to take its healthcare away as well?
am i crazy or is there no spider in this photo??
No, you are not crazy. Spider web is all there is. - akunohana 2026
They're already working hard ensuring your local network web is free from bugs.
True. I guess I can show it some leniency.
Similar to "bug" you can establish "spider" as a new computer term for things that infest a running system. Then you do conference talks, write books about it and keep all the earnings you get from doing that. The spider can't sue you for a share of that if it doesn't also pay you rent.
A spider is something you release into your system to catch bugs.
For a small fee of 1000$/h I will tell your company how.
Yeah I'm with the other commenter on this one. Spiders are deployed against bugs. I will leave her alone to dwell.
But seriously though... WHERE IS SHE?! xD
Spider notwithstanding, looks like you’ve made an excellent partial faraday cage for your WiFi 😂
Well, the wavelength of 5GHz is
56 cm. The smaller gaps between the bars on the individual "shelves" are 2.6 cm and the bigger gaps are 14 cm. While the smaller gaps could disrupt the waves, the bigger gaps, at which the antennas are pointed, do not.Indoctrinate the spider that it will catch many more bugs by using AI tools, and then let it pay.
I cannot be held responsible for when it eventually falls into spider AI psychosis.
Even more gain! Do you know what prozac does cost? Its family will need to pay the pharmacy bills if it doesn't want their loved one ending up homeless.
You're evil and I don't hate it.
Considering household insects like cockroaches often look for warm, dry locations to lay their oothecas (egg capsules), and have been known to get fried and damage equipment while doing so - I'd say you actually might have a useful symbiotic pal there, protecting your gear (do I see an MT-6000? Great gateway).
You're absolutely right! The spider stays!
The rack goes:
The ISP's ONT (in the hallway, not visible here) ---> a TP-link SG105E swtich:
You’re seriously considering charging the spider rent after he provides you an excellent web connection without asking you for so much as a dime?! How dare you, sir?! How very dare you!!
I have made a fool of myself. You are absolutely right! I'll do some
ping,tracerouteandnslookupand get back to you! :)