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lemmyshitpost·Lemmy Shitpostbywador

It's gay to brush your teeth

So, in the last few years I've read a lot of posts on reddit that some men won't wash their ass because "it's gay".

Can't we just troll these guys into believing that it's gay to brush your teeth aswell? I mean, the motion you make with your hand resembles that of a blow job.

It would not only be hilarious, it would also warn women ahead of time that the guy with bad breath probably don't wash his ass and is a homophobe.

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55 replies

PattyMcBreply
lemmy.world

Yes, but then do you also brush your teeth with it? That's the ultimate not-gay test

11
piefed.social

Brushing your teeth is super gay. It's taking a long object, basically a dildo, and shoving it in mouth while you suck on it.

Then you let the toothpaste fall out of your mouth like a fat wad of cum and finally spit it all out into the sink like the dirty used hole that you are.

Combine that with the choking sounds, gagging, and hand motions, it's a three-minute ritual of gobbling the ceremonial cock, and for what? Breath that smells nice for our boyfriends?

Miss me with that gay shit. My mouth smells the way it should; like rotten meat and moth balls, because I'm a REAL man and REAL men don't need no sissy goop in their cock holster every morning.

61
lemmy.world

...and finally spit it all out into the sink...

Speak for yourself. I swallow like a good boy.

40
aussie.zone

Also that straight men sit down to pee. Otherwise they have to hold a penis, and there's nothing gayer than that.

59
wadorreply
lemmy.zip

I think it's also pretty gay to have sex with women. I mean, they are cute, clean, soft and doesnt have all that ass and back hair.

It's more masculine to fuck some hairy beast. I mean, it's pretty darn masculine to try to fuck a silver back gorilla.

25

it's also pretty gay to have sex with women.

Yeah Andrew Tate literally said that iirc

17

...Somehow, i don't think you need to do anything at all to achieve your goal. That kind of guy definitely doesn't brush his teeth either.

25

I heard about one of these guys who got an infection because of this. He was 2 degrees removed from me so not some random internet story.

14

His body was penetrated by bacteria, that's pretty gay ngl

9
feddit.dk

Given the health benefits brushing your teeth applies to your entire body, it's an awful bad idea.

At the end of the day, when a person has to go to the hospital for a complicated procedure due to bad oral hygiene. The cost falls back on the entire society, even in the case of selfpaid hospitals - The capacity is strained a bit further, to help a preventable situation

14

This is a problem. I did this. Every dude I know has done this. Not because I'm a "real man" but because I'm lazy and was young so didn't think I needed to go.

Had a health scare a few years ago now I have regularly scheduled dentist appoiments and physicals. No more screwing around.

2
aussie.zone

If wiping my arse is gay, I don’t wanna be straight!

13

It would have to be a very small number of men though because believing that is so fucking stupid

13

Technically correct, but you're missing the point. If they did, the level of stupidity would make sense. Nearly half of us seem to be cool with the way things are going on a national level right now. And that's fucking "brushing your teeth and washing your ass is gay, and gay = bad" level of stupid.

4
lemmy.world

Those woke dentist scolds keep telling me to brush my teeth and stop gargling sand every night.

10

Pro tip: Gargle your boss's tobacco dip spit. You'll steal some of their microbiome and soon you'll DOMINATE! FUCK YEAH!

shotguns a beer

1

Theres nothing more masculine and heterosexual than two bros having sex. Having sex with women is feminine and thus gay.

7
lemmy.world

Jerking Off? Gay. Wiping your ass? Gay. Sex with a woman? Believe it or not Gay.

7

It’s also another excuse for the lack of sexual partners in their lives. They’ll love it.

6

Teeth are for fairies. Why are you brushing your teeth, are you fey?

5
lemmy.world

Ah yes, homophobia and a literally shitty ass.

Two qualities women find immensely attractive. Makes perfect sense.

3

It doesn't matter because the same guys think sex with women is gay.

1
pawb.social

I've heard this said a lot, but I've yet to see any evidence that anyone believes it and it's not just an exaggeration/troll.

I'm having a little trouble believing even the manosphere is genuinely that deranged.

1
lemmy.world

If you'll believe the anecdotes, plenty of women have confirmed their husbands do this.

2
lemmy.world

I had a gf near in tears when she didn't find skid marks in my boxers.

1
lb_oreply
lemmy.world

Can you pretty please think in the opposite direction and come up to a different conclusion?

It doesn't fit our desires. We want teeth brushing to be gay.

6
FishFacereply
piefed.social

No, I have no control over the direction of my thoughts. It's actually debilitating.

2

I am so sorry to hear that. I personally can think in any direction, and today I decided that brushing ones teeth is gay. Another day I can change my mind - it is the road you can walk in all directions.

1