Trump hid in catering cart to board secret flight in Turkey amid Iran threat – reports
Prompted by an Iranian assassination threat, Donald Trump departed on a secret military flight in an extraordinary ruse that involved hiding the president in an airport catering cart, according to reporting from the Washington Post and the New York Times.
https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2026/aug/10/trump-secret-flight-nato-returnOpen linkView original on sopuli.xyz
74 replies
He wanted to open the straight of hummus.
The reflecting pool is still "the strait of warm ooze"
Meaning the staff and reporters on the other plane were being used as decoys without their knowledge or consent.
That's pretty fucked up.
I bet that's what all those civilians were saying when Americans killed 100+ people while kidnapping the president of Venezuela.
I'm not really sure what point you're trying to make.
There's never going to an end to the documentaries made about this presidency, is there?
Can you imagine the kind of shit that will be made public 5 or 10 years after he leaves the presidency?
No matter how batshit insane whatever my imagination can conjure up is, I can guarantee it'll be a lot worse.
The United States finally has an answer to Stalin.
Stalin was both effective and relatively efficient. This dumbass is neither. More like whatever the knockoff of a Temu Stalin would be.
And to clarify, yes, I'm saying that even Temu is too high quality to be carrying anything Trump branded.
Efficient? I think Stalin probably could have managed with killing many fewer people.
He did it efficiently though
i miss not being surprised by much.
we'll probably find out he had a private mcdonalds installed at the white house that gets its "beef" from an unethical mortician.
so like that's about how extreme of the batshittery i'm expecting is.
edit: wait this explains Kennedy
honestly I'm imagining the shit that just never will.
It's cute you think this will be over by then.
The tech bros who bought this administration seem to be getting a little nervous lately. I have a feeling they’re starting to wonder if they can really shoot the moon, or if they’re going to the next Nuremberg trial.
The History Channel basically lived off of Hitler documentaries for 2 decades.
Depends. Hollywood will never have the spine to depict him honestly, but if American media continues its decline and loses its stranglehold on popular culture then the floodgates will open.
Honestly, with the way things are going in this nation, we're probably going to be too worried about a myriad of other things to give a shit about this rapist's documentaries.
It is since referred to by staff as the shit cart
I heard they had to nuke it from orbit after he "used" it.
Shit cart 1
Maybe he could smell himself in there
"Damn! Why does this food cart smell like shit?"
That's just the President's' McDonald's lunch.
what they let 'em out for?
eating the product
Edit: there's a much better joke about giving it the Taylor farms treatment that I didn't think about quick enough
Elaborate ruse Is a bit dramatic here. This has all the complexity of a bugs bunny sketch.
“Ummm yeah, right. We hid him in the catering cart. He totally didn’t get stuck in there when he thought he saw loose McDonald’s fries on the floor of the cart.”
I've seen how some of this shit works. They're not magically smarter than you. People in these kinds of positions sometimes just do shit because they think it sounds cool and they're bored.
It's trump, I think we can take that as a given.
"extraordinary ruse" is certainly a phrase for this
I hope there's a VEEP/Arrested Development like show about this cartoonish presidency in a couple years. There's so much material.
Veep is severely underrated imo.
It would be an absolute 👨🍳 💋 if they cast the SNL actors who portray them in the series too lol
They already tried that with comedies about Bush Jr
What a coward! 😂😂😂😂
Chicken was on the menu.
Chicken TACO
Wouldn't someone have noticed the smell?
Or the obnoxiously large “catering cart?” A normal one couldn’t possibly hide his giant ass.
They have a scissor lift box truck that the food comes in and then they lift it up to the plane and wheel the carts off. They got JFK's dead body on air force one the same way.
Now the whole plane smells like fake tan.
"Why does this food smell like somebody died shitting themselves?"
It must've been a huge cart to fit that blubber filled tub of syphilis.
Imagine secret service trying to push the largest food cart to the plane lol. "I'm not payed enough for this shit"
Certainly he didn’t fit in just one cart
For a cross-Atlantic flight stocking up AF1 during a Trump term, breaking out the XXXL food truck would be standard procedure.
Sorry. No way Fatty McRapist is getting into a catering cart. Maybe the back of a catering van. Assuming you bleach it before putting food back in it.
don't do caterers like that. they'd tie his leash to the bumper at most
It sounds like it was like a wheeled trolley you'd see in a hotel hallway, but I think it was actually a cargo container of some sort used to load catering cargo on and off the plane. Although I'm not completely dismissing the image of him crouched under a tablecloth being wheeled down the tarmac by a butler concealing an MP5.
Hahaha.
I hope he loves in fear. He did all of that. He ruined the fucking nuclear treaty, he invaded when that went to shit, and now he's losing a war.
What a fucking goddamn dumbass. I hope he never rests well again.
He's always lived in fear. He has no friends.
An amazing disguise. The smell didn’t give ANYTHING away.
Didn't he survive 2 assasination attempts before without worry, what's the difference with a mere threat?
This threat was real and not a false flag?
This one would be done by someone semi-competent and explosives likely over an idiot reactionary with a gun.
Yeah but if he survived, think of the ratings! He'll do another pose, photos will take millions of photos and they'll put him on the front page of the newspaper!
Don't live in fear Mr Trump!
Are they sure he was hiding in there? Maybe he just went in there to eat in private and just so happened to get wheeled on board the plane. I could see him stuffing himself inside one of those things just so we can nosh on some shrimp away from all the judgy eyes.
So someone on his team recently watched the TV miniseries "Thief" (starring Andre Braugher, RIP) and figured they'd give it a try.
These fuckers have no imagination. First they rip off season 2 of Jack Ryan, and now this.
Why the hell would they reveal this? Seems like a terrible idea. Secret Service never reveals details about things like that. Or at least, they shouldn't.
I wonder if he shat himself while they folded him up to fit him in there. I'm surprised he was flexible enough.
"Look, people are asking me about aircraft catering carts. And I tell them, nobody knows catering carts better than me, okay? Nobody!
These carts, they are INCREDIBLE. Absolutely top of the line.
People come up to me, big flight attendants, strong people, with tears in their eyes, they say, 'Sir, we put hundreds of sodas in there, the little cans, the snacks, everything, and it still moves so light. Nobody else could design a cart like this'."
-- Trump probably
What's.. funny I guess, is that he doesn't even really talk like that anymore, because he barely makes it through a sentence now
Maybe he should try a prison one.
Is it bad that even though I'm an American and not exactly a full on Iranian supporter...but wouldn't mind if they successfully assassinated Trump and Vance at all? It would at least be karma for starting this bullshit war in the first place
Nope. I'm with you. Almost feels treasonous to wish our president harm/death, but fuck him and his family.
Would have been a shame if they forgot he was in there
He'll never fit in there, it's full of cheeseburgers...
The brain aneurysm to imitate this tom foolery was long and brain deadening
“I don’t, i don’t know what your talking about, cheese burgers are meant to be on the table,” *rubs suspiciously 40 servings of mcdonalds cheese burgers shaped belly * “not below mind you, that’s where the pizza goes, haha yes the pizza, most like my food, ok, friend of mine, a GREAT friend, my friends great ol mister big E, said if he couldn’t get a daily cheese burger slice he’d hang himself, literally had to have his cheese burgers haha what a guy, reminds me of my friend, my great friend, who got autism because he didn’t eat enough cheese burgers! Can you believe it?” rubs orange belly drool dripping from his mouth “couldn’t catch me, CAN’T catch me with my with some cheese burgers not on the table, no sir and you know what i told this friend? My guy? I said to him, we’re gobs make these cheese burgers great again and put em back on the table, so good they’ll throw another parade, like the one for my birthday yes my birthday cheese burger parade my, love for this country God yes take me, take me God for a date cuz you know he’s a good friend, his son and i real close, real close friends, you know he invited me to his last birthday party before the elephants attacked, crazy elephants wanting the cheese burgers. Maybe that’s why it’s before the table to guide the cheese burgers from the Siri democratic elephants. Good friend that was good friend.”
Weird flex
It was avoidable
I bet it was his idea
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha