Don't let your dreams stay dreams. I'm not saying it will be easy. Get an alligator and a pineapple costume. Sign up for tap lessons and bring them along. Volunteer as a docent at your local zoo. Success isn't guaranteed, but I bet you'll be surprised with how far you get.
Thank you for your faith,…the alligator is likely to be my biggest challenge. Maybe a baby croc…or a Winnie dog in an alligator outfit…..it’s the same thing really. I don’t suppose I even have to learn tap to teach it. So there’s a few hurdles down.
I guess a string literally followed by a semicolon would be an interesting way to leave a comment. I may use this in the future since comments are against my religion. Figuring out what my code does is future me's problem. And that guy's a dick he never comments his code.
Not an essential word if you the listener have context! It's just that understanding this phrase is reliant on reader knowing context (i..e either that buffalo tend to buffalo buffalo OR just the theory/gimmick of the sentence itself.)
Also i believe OP made some effort to indicate via Capitalisation that one repeated buffalo is a proper noun. (Place name)
Here's some discussion of omitting "that" after a noun. I don't agree with Grammar Girl on what sounds awkward but she acknowledges that sentences can sound awkward but not be "wrong".
The Packers haven’t drafted a quarterback despite rumors they were interested in doing so.
Again, these sentences aren’t wrong, but they would sound a lot better with “that” inserted after the nouns “allegations” and “rumors.”
The washington cats 2. Which florida rats chase 3. They annoy vegas whores
It's a question of where you put pauses and intonation, when sounding it out in your head (or to another person). If you read it monotone it makes little sense. Unfortunately, knowing how its said requires deciphering it first. A lot of english novels have stuff like this, you'll probably find - you have to read sentences twice to understand what it means
There's probably no way for me to prove to you that it makes sense to me, unless you learn how to make sense of it yourself. I mentioned "which" and "they" because, as an english speaker knowing context about cats and rats, i can infer what connective could go there, but i don't need it because without the connectives we get a more colloquial informal way of saying it all.
Is english your first language or is something else ?
Tiān gāo, huángdì yuǎn
Heaven is high and the emperor is far away
Is one of my favorite.
Another is the a misattributed quote:
Les hommes ne seront jamais libres tant que le dernier roi ne sera pas étranglé avec les entrailles du dernier prêtre.
Men will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.
Though the apparent original is good too.
Je ne veux ni donner ni recevoir de lois.
Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre,
Au défaut d'un cordon pour étrangler les rois.
I seek neither to rule nor to serve.
And its hands would weave the entrails of the priest,
For the lack of a cord with which to strangle kings.
The second line from the US declaration of indpenedce is a banger too:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.
John Brown's:
I cannot remember a night so dark as to have hindered the coming day.
It's a truncated quote from Diderot. The full verse is:
J’en atteste les temps ; j’en appelle à tout âge ;
Jamais au public avantage
L’homme n’a franchement sacrifié ses droits ;
S’il osait de son cœur n’écouter que la voix,
Changeant tout à coup de langage,
Il nous dirait, comme l’hôte des bois :
« La nature n’a fait ni serviteur ni maître;
« Je ne veux ni donner ni recevoir de lois. »
Et ses mains ourdiraient les entrailles du prêtre,
Au défaut d'un cordon pour étrangler les rois.
A slightly better translation would be:
I bear witness to the times; I appeal to all ages;
Never, for the public good,
Has man willingly sacrificed his rights;
If he dared to listen only to the voice of his heart,
Suddenly changing his tone,
He would say to us, like the dweller of the woods:
“Nature has created neither servant nor master;
“I wish neither to give nor to receive laws.”
And his hands would tear out the priest’s entrails,
For lack of a cord to strangle kings.
It is the voice of the forest, dweller of the woods being a stand in for anarchists. So the hands strangling kings with priest's entrails are those of the man realizing the importance of rights and freedom. Diderot elaborates across the poem about the character of political order. Declaring that no law or political rule is sacred or natural. Mankind makes sociopolitical structures, they are not natural, and thus nature will gladly unmake them, as a king dying, for example. Essentially, he says that no elevated, supernatural, or godly power exists that will stop the hands of a person who has chosen to defy political oppression. It was extremely controversial in the XVIII century, a liberal cry for revolution against political systems that still stood over the pillars of a god given right of monarchs to rule. It's called Les éleuthéromanes, I'm not gonna try to translate that, but the full text can be found freely.
"The man in black fled into the desert, and the gunslinger followed"
opening line for the Dark Tower novels by Stephen King, which is an absolutely phenomenal series that blends western and sci-fi elements with just a tad of fantasy and horror for flavor.
By far my favorite Stephen King books. There are some rough parts for sure, but overall they're very good. That reminds me I haven't read them for a few years.
Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past.
Perhaps the best, most succinct explanation of historical materialism.
::: spoiler Full Quote
Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past. The tradition of all dead generations weighs like a nightmare on the brains of the living. And just as they seem to be occupied with revolutionizing themselves and things, creating something that did not exist before, precisely in such epochs of revolutionary crisis they anxiously conjure up the spirits of the past to their service, borrowing from them names, battle slogans, and costumes in order to present this new scene in world history in time-honored disguise and borrowed language.
"Money can't buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a taxi than on a bus." - Marcel Reich-Ranicki (German literary critic)
I changed the last word in the translation to bus for the US readers. It should be tram or streetcar but I assumed bus is more common and widely known.
Mrs. Higgins’ body was found in the pantry, bludgeoned with a potato ricer and lying atop a fifty-pound sack of Yukon golds, her favorite for making gnocchi, though some people consider them too moist for this purpose.
Somewhat famously this line (the entire soliloquy actually) was improvised by Rutger Hauer in the moment, so not strictly written down. Just taking the piss mate, best fucking movie ever!
“Let every dirty, lousy tramp arm himself with a revolver or a knife, and lay in wait on the steps of the palaces of the rich and stab or shoot the owners as they come out.”
“ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
-Teddy Roosevelt
Yeah, I did not plan on that. At first I was going to just put the first sentence, “It is not the critic who counts,” but then I started reading, and on the third sentence I kept reading and not finding a period, which I thought was funny so I shared that.
I’m also now realizing that, while I typically read it, this quote was originally from a speech and not a piece of writing, therefore not technically qualifying for this post at all!
But you know what, it’s what I thought of, and at least I hopped in the comment arena and gave something.
The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this.
"A traveller from an antique land who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert."
OZYMANDIAS
PERCY BYSSHE SHELLEY
These words have ways stuck with me, reminding me of the rest of the poem, but mainly reminding me that even vast, expensive and truly effortful things that many once cared about will eventually decay and become forgotten. Similar to the other post that this too shall pass.
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
I memorized the whole thing in school. I've forgotten parts, but it really has stuck with me since. But it took a decade or so before the real true impact of it hit home.
Like, as a teen I understand it, King built a statue, was a powerful proud king, had everything, blah blah, now it's all but gone and only pieces of a statue even remain.
But, the impact of it hit as an adult.
Not even the greatest of kings or warriors or sages can escape the slow erosion of time and sand and all things crumble to dust.
It's both depressing and empty feeling, but also freeing in a way. Optimistic Nihilism I guess? It's all going to be dust one day, so be nice and have fun and be whimsical and silly and do what you want.
It does at least give me comfort that even the big evil rulers of our age will one day be long forgotten and but a crumbled relic and some lines in a rotting history book that no one bothers to read anymore.
148 replies
"A Florida woman has been accused of entering the penguin enclosure to teach them to tap dance, using a live alligator as her partner."
I can't fix her. She's already perfect.
I know. I do wish I was her.
Don't let your dreams stay dreams. I'm not saying it will be easy. Get an alligator and a pineapple costume. Sign up for tap lessons and bring them along. Volunteer as a docent at your local zoo. Success isn't guaranteed, but I bet you'll be surprised with how far you get.
Thank you for your faith,…the alligator is likely to be my biggest challenge. Maybe a baby croc…or a Winnie dog in an alligator outfit…..it’s the same thing really. I don’t suppose I even have to learn tap to teach it. So there’s a few hurdles down.
Does she have a sister?
At this juncture, I would point out that ![email protected] also accepts "Florida Woman" submissions.
EDIT: Unfortunately, it appears to be fake.
https://x.com/i/trending/2033968232433127550
I mean, fake or not, it's just such a great sentence.
I need this pineapple costume.
I believe we have a winner lmfao
I like her
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move."
I'd agree, but that's 2 sentences.
Dammit
Okay imagine there's a semicolon there instead
"In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very unhappy and has been widely regarded as a bad move.";
Still doesn't work.
At least now it compiles
In the end, isn't that the real treasure?
Half the kingdom and my firstborn for passing tests
I guess a string literally followed by a semicolon would be an interesting way to leave a comment. I may use this in the future since comments are against my religion. Figuring out what my code does is future me's problem. And that guy's a dick he never comments his code.
Em dash that bastard
Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana.
Every time I unzip my pants to go pee the fruit flies laugh at me. It's not my fault they never saw a banana this small before.
"This too shall pass"
If something good happens, it's a cautionary warning to stay humble.
If something bad happens, it's a comforting reminder that things will get better.
I saw this quote on the desk of a proctologist I once visited.
Good point
I've also heard "Everything ends"
Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo
Buffalo buffalo WHICH Buffalo buffalo, buffalo buffalo Buffalo
It annoys me that the quoted sentence misses out essential words.
Not an essential word if you the listener have context! It's just that understanding this phrase is reliant on reader knowing context (i..e either that buffalo tend to buffalo buffalo OR just the theory/gimmick of the sentence itself.)
Also i believe OP made some effort to indicate via Capitalisation that one repeated buffalo is a proper noun. (Place name)
See: Buffalo(pl) buffalo(an) Buffalo(pl) buffalo(an) buffalo(vrb), buffalo(vrb) Buffalo(pl) buffalo(an)
pl: place, an: animal, vrb: verb.
Washington cats [missing] florida rats chase, annoy Vegas whores.
There needs to be a which, that, who or something in that missing space for a proper sentence structure.
Here's some discussion of omitting "that" after a noun. I don't agree with Grammar Girl on what sounds awkward but she acknowledges that sentences can sound awkward but not be "wrong".
https://www.quickanddirtytips.com/articles/when-to-delete-that/
Quaterback Love [that] Greenbay Packers drafted, played Detroit Lions.
Some sentences can drop the relative pronouns and still make sense. This isn't one of them.
"The quarterback the packers drafted" sounds fine to me
You've had to add "The" to make it make sense.
"Quaterback Packers drafted" doesn't make sense.
Nope, that makes perfect sense to me without which that or who.
"Washington cats florida rats chase annoy vegas whores"
It's a question of where you put pauses and intonation, when sounding it out in your head (or to another person). If you read it monotone it makes little sense. Unfortunately, knowing how its said requires deciphering it first. A lot of english novels have stuff like this, you'll probably find - you have to read sentences twice to understand what it means
I think you proved my point. You needed to add the word "which". A pause makes the first part sound like a list.
There's probably no way for me to prove to you that it makes sense to me, unless you learn how to make sense of it yourself. I mentioned "which" and "they" because, as an english speaker knowing context about cats and rats, i can infer what connective could go there, but i don't need it because without the connectives we get a more colloquial informal way of saying it all.
Is english your first language or is something else ?
Are you saying the following sentence is perfectly fine English?
No. It's missing at least one word.
They don't think it be like it is, but it do.
"In the beginning the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move".
I'll read this phrase but I won't enjoy it
The chinese poem "The Story of Mr. Shi Eating Lions"
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lion-Eating_Poet_in_the_Stone_Den
Look at what "Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo" needs to mimic a fraction of that power
I wouldn't label it as "the greates sentence ever", rather as a great example why chinese is a highly cumbersome and impractical language.
"I look both ways when I cross a one way street, because that's how much faith I have in humanity."
I live on a one way street. The amount of vehicles that zoom by in the wrong direction is ridiculous
"That's one of the remarkable things about life. It's never so bad that it can't get worse"
Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes
People don’t think it be like it is, but it do
"Do you think... God stays in heaven because he, too, lives in fear of what he's created, here on Earth? "
Dr Romero, Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams, written by Robert Rodriguez.
I thought this was his character in Con Air
Is one of my favorite.
Another is the a misattributed quote:
Though the apparent original is good too.
The second line from the US declaration of indpenedce is a banger too:
John Brown's:
Is also really good.
What does that even mean? What thing's hands are we talking aboit by the second line?
It's a truncated quote from Diderot. The full verse is:
A slightly better translation would be:
It is the voice of the forest, dweller of the woods being a stand in for anarchists. So the hands strangling kings with priest's entrails are those of the man realizing the importance of rights and freedom. Diderot elaborates across the poem about the character of political order. Declaring that no law or political rule is sacred or natural. Mankind makes sociopolitical structures, they are not natural, and thus nature will gladly unmake them, as a king dying, for example. Essentially, he says that no elevated, supernatural, or godly power exists that will stop the hands of a person who has chosen to defy political oppression. It was extremely controversial in the XVIII century, a liberal cry for revolution against political systems that still stood over the pillars of a god given right of monarchs to rule. It's called Les éleuthéromanes, I'm not gonna try to translate that, but the full text can be found freely.
That one's so good it makes me want to learn French.
That's two sentences.
Worse yet it's missing some good context that dustyData shared in this thread. I just included it in reference to the quote I thought of
Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice skate uphill.
"Black Friday Sale! This Thursday only!".
Despite all our accomplishments, we all own our existence to a 6 inch layer of topsoil and the fact that it rains.
I found it somewere on the Internet and can Not forget it.
I read that too. Good one.
Spoken, not written:-
I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly
This is one of the stupidest, most 14-year-old sentences I've ever heard, and still a lot of people love it :)
That's a thing. We've gotten so low brow that sounds like an educated quip. Real subtlety has been lost.
Yeah, but this is not something new. That's a quote some people loved since the day it was said.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
I am reading this, but I am not enjoying it, and I thought you should know
"It was the best of times, it was the blurst of times...stupid monkey!"
Boo-urns. Boo-urns
This isn't the greatest sentence, this is just a tribute.
"The man in black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed."
"Long days and pleasant nights."
You have nothing to loose but your chains
"The man in black fled into the desert, and the gunslinger followed"
By far my favorite Stephen King books. There are some rough parts for sure, but overall they're very good. That reminds me I haven't read them for a few years.
The cost of living is dying, and everyone pays.
Perhaps the best, most succinct explanation of historical materialism.
::: spoiler Full Quote
Men make their own history, but they do not make it as they please; they do not make it under self-selected circumstances, but under circumstances existing already, given and transmitted from the past. The tradition of all dead generations weighs like a nightmare on the brains of the living. And just as they seem to be occupied with revolutionizing themselves and things, creating something that did not exist before, precisely in such epochs of revolutionary crisis they anxiously conjure up the spirits of the past to their service, borrowing from them names, battle slogans, and costumes in order to present this new scene in world history in time-honored disguise and borrowed language.
:::
"He who fights monsters must see that he doesn't become a monster himself. For when you stare into the abyss, the abyss stares back at you."
Friedrich Nietzsche
I hate how often I see this quote without attribution.
Also: "What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger."
Friedrich Nietzsche
Ummm
Yeah, that's Kelly Clarkson, m'kay?
"What doesn't kill you, makes you crippled"
Gregory House
It's over 9000!
Was shocked to discover very recently that it’s meant to be “It’s over 8000!”, and 9000 was a mistranslation
Wait, really? My whole life is a lie.
Yeah, in the Dragon Ball Z Kai English dub, Vegeta now says 8000!
*Pray, Mr. Babbage, if you put into the machine wrong figures, will the right answers come out?"
I think we are at that point again but with “AI”.
If you're gonna be stupid, be smart about it.
love that with such a broad sample pool, what we get here are some quips, in English, from the last few decades
Here's some really profound writing you might enjoy, really brings a tear to the eye.
Mesopotamian administrative record keeping in Cuneiform is my favorite kind of poetry.
honestly, I always felt like this passage was heavy handed. Sort of manipulating us to feel something rather than earning it, you know?
They're such powerful words...
猿も木から落ちる
Ja. Selbst der beste Schütze verfehlt sein Ziel
A wall is but a bridge built wrongly.
"Money can't buy happiness, but it's better to cry in a taxi than on a bus." - Marcel Reich-Ranicki (German literary critic)
I changed the last word in the translation to bus for the US readers. It should be tram or streetcar but I assumed bus is more common and widely known.
In this moment, I am euphoric. Not because of any phony god's blessing. But because, I am enlightened by my intelligence.
ball knower
Cellar door.
you know. you should never open it.
Be good...or be good at it.
Mrs. Higgins’ body was found in the pantry, bludgeoned with a potato ricer and lying atop a fifty-pound sack of Yukon golds, her favorite for making gnocchi, though some people consider them too moist for this purpose.
-Joel Phillips
https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/about
Hand me that piano.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain.
Somewhat famously this line (the entire soliloquy actually) was improvised by Rutger Hauer in the moment, so not strictly written down. Just taking the piss mate, best fucking movie ever!
“Let every dirty, lousy tramp arm himself with a revolver or a knife, and lay in wait on the steps of the palaces of the rich and stab or shoot the owners as they come out.”
- Lucy Parsons
“ The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” -Teddy Roosevelt
That's a long sentence.
Yeah, I did not plan on that. At first I was going to just put the first sentence, “It is not the critic who counts,” but then I started reading, and on the third sentence I kept reading and not finding a period, which I thought was funny so I shared that.
I’m also now realizing that, while I typically read it, this quote was originally from a speech and not a piece of writing, therefore not technically qualifying for this post at all!
But you know what, it’s what I thought of, and at least I hopped in the comment arena and gave something.
Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.
"Welcome to Costco, I love you"
Never half ass two things, instead whole ass one thing.
"I have a hawk and it's trained to kill cops"
The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizeable proportion of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this.
Peoplez iz Peoplez.
Quote from the Muppets.
"Elaine, if I'd a knowed that you'd a wanted to went, I'd a seen that you'd a got to get to go."
It has not been written yet. But it will be soon. Look in the obituary sections.
Being a person, even though you're just a blob of goo, is the most profound thing you could ever do.
"A traveller from an antique land who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone stand in the desert."
OZYMANDIAS
These words have ways stuck with me, reminding me of the rest of the poem, but mainly reminding me that even vast, expensive and truly effortful things that many once cared about will eventually decay and become forgotten. Similar to the other post that this too shall pass.
"My name is Ozymandias, king of kings: Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
You left out the most poignant part of the verse: "Nothing beside remains." Look on your works? They all turned to dust.
I memorized the whole thing in school. I've forgotten parts, but it really has stuck with me since. But it took a decade or so before the real true impact of it hit home.
Like, as a teen I understand it, King built a statue, was a powerful proud king, had everything, blah blah, now it's all but gone and only pieces of a statue even remain.
But, the impact of it hit as an adult.
Not even the greatest of kings or warriors or sages can escape the slow erosion of time and sand and all things crumble to dust.
It's both depressing and empty feeling, but also freeing in a way. Optimistic Nihilism I guess? It's all going to be dust one day, so be nice and have fun and be whimsical and silly and do what you want.
It does at least give me comfort that even the big evil rulers of our age will one day be long forgotten and but a crumbled relic and some lines in a rotting history book that no one bothers to read anymore.
Proper Preparation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
No.
Hold my beer!
The end.
I think, therefore I am.
-Descartes
I can't imagine I've read enough to know that but have always loved this one, from St Augustine, of all people.
Dance is a transformation of space, of time, of people, who are in constant danger of becoming all brain, will, or feeling.
The whole poem is amazing.
"I ain't afeared a going where I never been after." -Mountain Jack from Grizzly Adams
"The course of human progress staggers like a drunk"
-- Freeze Up by Operation Ivy (1989)
“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
Shakespeare
Personally I think the golden rule, it has many variations.
e.g. What you do not wish for yourself, do not do to others.
Then another is from V for Vendetta
Beneath this mask, there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask, there is an idea, Mr Creedy. And ideas are bullet-proof!
αἴκα
Even through the darkest day, this fire burns, always.
No.
You either die a hero, or you live long enough to become the villain.
I also would say Hayes Carll, in the American Dream song (though it's partly the delivery)
"Nothing changes, even if it wants to."
"The end."
This, too, shall pass.
"When you're here, you're family" (Fast and the Furious)