Schindler's List. Humans can be nasty, horrible, utterly evil. It's all too common. But some of us will work to do good. Some of us will push back and do what's right. There is evil in this world, but there is also goodness.
Idiocracy was honestly my first thought, but they wouldn't have all the cultural nuance required to understand it. Someone else said Don't Look Up, which I think would get through the irrationality a bit better.
"Interesting! Tell us, where are these aliens with terrible cybersecurity? We were thinking of conquering you, but now it's pretty clear that there's an easier and wealthier target."
Not a movie exactly, creators asked some basic questions and invited people to submit footage from a single day in July 2010. Exciting or mundane, anything.
It’s really well put together and always gives me a refreshed perspective on my place in the world.
Double Feature: Ender's Game (2013) and Starship Troopers (1997) - then we serve them a sumptuous shellfish tower to discuss their surrender over dinner.
Ender's Game was such a pile of shit (FYI, I love the book) even the anti-grav tag sequence couldn't absolve it. Swap it for District 9 and you're closer to the target - especially with the fookin' prawn dish.
I thought the movie did a decent job of telling the story considering the limitations of the medium.
According to the author many studios have approached him over the years with unacceptable alterations and that one was the first one to come along with anything good enough.
He said it had to be literally children, first of all, and they always wanted to change that.
According to Salman Rushdie, he and Carrie Fisher tried to buy Napoleon's penis from the estate of a dentist from New Jersey who'd recently died with it in his collection.
I mean, a person can make another person's day, sure!
But on real big societal issues? Gooooood luck. I'm waiting on Frodo to level the rich poor divide, to stop wars, and to stop and reverse climate change, but he's crying in a pillow
Throw musk after it while you're at it (no, not suggesting or advocating violence against him). Still though, it would solve just one amongst so so so many issues that it would be a drop in a bucket.
Nobody has mentioned porn. We try and say things in our great works of art but maybe they'd learn more from what we make when we're trying to say nothing at all.
Oooh! I think that's my favourite so far. It would introduce several eras including the ones we only envision in our future, and would introduce a number of concepts about myths, stories and social structures.
Teaching them our sense for justice worries me. Either they understand we can police ourselves or they start holding us accountable for wrongdoings under their legal system with no warning, assuming we'll understand.
Idiocracy
Clicked through to say this.
It's got what alien civilizations crave
...but after that aliens gonna want to see the "Ass".
Idiocracy
History of the world: part 1
I'm so disappointed there was never a part 2 made. That's one of my all-time favorite movies.
Guess what...
Wait...fuck my life...how did I now know about that?!
It's pretty new I think, I haven't seen it yet
Fucking hilarious at parts, definitely a Mel Brooks production. Worth a watch through once for sure
It's definitely on my list, I love that glorious bastard, wish he was my dad.
Ahhhhh fucking on Hulu goddamnit
There are... other sources. sea shanty starts playing faintly in the background
Stares wistfully into the distance.
It has been many years since I last took to the seas...
Aye, but ye cannae stay away for ever. The sea calls you home.
Schindler's List. Humans can be nasty, horrible, utterly evil. It's all too common. But some of us will work to do good. Some of us will push back and do what's right. There is evil in this world, but there is also goodness.
"Contact" for a similar reason. It's a mix of all motivations, along with people's general mistrust of each other.
Samsara for the same reason. It shows beauty mixed with terrifying images of human impact.
Independence Day. Just run away, alien dudes! The xenophobia isn't worth it!
Office space.
Koyaanisqatsi or Baraka, since I'm guessing they won't understand English nor indeed any human language.
I made the mistake of watching Baraka on 3gs of mushrooms.
I am a changed man.
Doesn't sound like a mistake.
I was hoping to find Koyaanisqatsi here
They'll nuke us out of orbit after watching that, but hey
Problem solved!
300
Let them think humanity is 99% buff oily badasses in speedos who will gladly fuck you up until their dying breath.
The man from earth. That should confuse them.
Hey, Neptune! I'm the only other human to have seen that movie!
I wish there were more. I love it so much.
There was a sequel, but I didn't really care for it.
There is a sequel but it failed to capture the spirit of the first one. I think it used to be free on their website.
Also, when I watched it a few years back, they were working on a TV series but I am not sure if it ever got off the ground.
Nonsense, I've seen it multiple times. It's a favorite of mine. A sequel on the other hand was, 'meh' at best.
Me too.
Somehow. They did make a sequel. That's what Wikipedia says.
I should re-watch it. It's been years.
By Jerome Bixby? It's my favorite movie. I have to watch that again soon
Life of Brian, no doubt
The meaning of life too
Don't Look Up - https://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/dont_look_up_2021
Sort of summarizes the total shit-show that current politicians and billionaires are responsible for.
My autistic ass would have them watch all three Lord of the Rings movies. Y'all need to find a better diplomat than me.
My first thought too 😅
The Big Lebowski
That's, just like, uh, your opinion, man.
Idiocracy
Avatar. We will destroy habitats to get what we want.
"Us too! Anyway, we're building this hyperspace bypass..."
"Its a bypass. You gotta build bypasses!"
The plans were filed with the local council ages ago, not our fault if you didn’t see them
The lorax is in that same vein lol
FernGully?
Mean girls
On a Wednesday and make everyone wear pink, so the aliens feel ashamed for not wearing pink.
Idiocracy.
Real answer though, 2001 a space odyssey.
Idiocracy was honestly my first thought, but they wouldn't have all the cultural nuance required to understand it. Someone else said Don't Look Up, which I think would get through the irrationality a bit better.
Haha 2001 was my first thought, and Idiocracy was my second.
Independence Day.
I'll tell them it was a documentary. Or at least based on a true story.
"Interesting! Tell us, where are these aliens with terrible cybersecurity? We were thinking of conquering you, but now it's pretty clear that there's an easier and wealthier target."
History of the World: Part 1 seems pretty fitting.
Why not part 2?
Gotta start from the beginning.
Independence Day. Tell them it's a documentary.
5th Element is the only correct answer.
Although it would probably lead to a big badda boom :)
Idiocracy.
Orgasmo. The '97 one, not the '69 one. ... fuck it, also the '69 one. Make it a double-feature.
You should show them my latest movie that I can't promote right now.
They would be so confused, it would be hilarious.
Shocked nobody's mentioned 'Mars Attacks.'
Schindler's List
Baraka... but they'd be 30 years out of sync with today :-)
I feel like it stood the test of time. Was my top pick with Idiocracy being a close second.
Why not Samsara?
Spaceballs
The Gods Must Be Crazy. I think it shows the absurdity of our modern civilization in a lighthearted way.
Gods*
You're completely right. That what I get for writing on my phone. Corrected
Obviously the complete Stargate franchise. Humans don't put up with aliens tryin' to pull any shit.
Arrival I think would be a great choice.
Life in a Day
Not a movie exactly, creators asked some basic questions and invited people to submit footage from a single day in July 2010. Exciting or mundane, anything.
It’s really well put together and always gives me a refreshed perspective on my place in the world.
They did it again in 2020, during the pandemic.
Honestly, Contact.
Eraserhead.
Lol. They'd leave and never come back.
"Gorg, wtf did I just watch?"
"I don't know, Sir"
Right? The best plan.
Obviously the greatest documentary ever committed to film: The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.
I just came here to upvote every "Idiocracy" comment
Doctor Zhivago. And when they inevitably fall asleep. I’m jacking that Ufo.
The Invention of Lying
If I could get away with a miniseries, James Burke's Connections.
Or Cunk on Earth. It's a toss-up.
District 9
Letting them know what mankind is all about seems like a terrible idea. We're jerks.
Double Feature: Ender's Game (2013) and Starship Troopers (1997) - then we serve them a sumptuous shellfish tower to discuss their surrender over dinner.
Ender's Game was such a pile of shit (FYI, I love the book) even the anti-grav tag sequence couldn't absolve it. Swap it for District 9 and you're closer to the target - especially with the fookin' prawn dish.
I thought the movie did a decent job of telling the story considering the limitations of the medium.
According to the author many studios have approached him over the years with unacceptable alterations and that one was the first one to come along with anything good enough.
He said it had to be literally children, first of all, and they always wanted to change that.
Whatever was "good enough" to get him to sign for that check clearly didn't make it to the screen.
Yeah, let them read the book and tell them that sadly no movie has ever been made.
Wall-E. Sums it up pretty well
The Day the Earth Stood Still (1951) - Literally telling aliens that we will fuck shit up.
Stalker (1979) - You can leave your garbage and we'll think it's treasure.
Dude, Where's My Car? (2000) - Humanity is really just a bunch of idiots, stumbling through everything.
Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb.
Shawshank Redemption
“The Final Member”
It’s a documentary about the worlds first penis museum in Iceland trying to finally secure a human specimen
https://youtu.be/sZMaheZ_Iy0?si=SCIxh2weymwp3AOk
According to Salman Rushdie, he and Carrie Fisher tried to buy Napoleon's penis from the estate of a dentist from New Jersey who'd recently died with it in his collection.
Half Baked
Either point break or bad boys 2.
Fellowship, two towers, return of the king. Tell them it's one movie showing how the littlest person can make the biggest difference.
Really?
I mean, a person can make another person's day, sure!
But on real big societal issues? Gooooood luck. I'm waiting on Frodo to level the rich poor divide, to stop wars, and to stop and reverse climate change, but he's crying in a pillow
Someone just needs to throw Elon Musk's hyperloop in to the fires of a volcano.
Throw musk after it while you're at it (no, not suggesting or advocating violence against him). Still though, it would solve just one amongst so so so many issues that it would be a drop in a bucket.
Magnolia
Nobody has mentioned porn. We try and say things in our great works of art but maybe they'd learn more from what we make when we're trying to say nothing at all.
Requiem for a dream
Rocco's Animal Trainer #3.
Schindler's list. Yeah aliens. It's like that. Go ahead and end us thx.
Samsara
End of ze world.
Cloud Atlas
Oooh! I think that's my favourite so far. It would introduce several eras including the ones we only envision in our future, and would introduce a number of concepts about myths, stories and social structures.
They Shall Not Grow Old (2018) by Peter Jackson.
Fun fact: I have watched none of the movies listed here in the comments
Salò.
Citizen Kane.
Charlie Chaplin Modern Times
An interesting choice, but they'd be pretty mislead about how our economy works 90 years on.
Revenge of The Nerds
ET
Under the Skin (2014)
Silent night, deadly night 2
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. 100%.
L'Arroseur Arrosé. That will show them not to block the sunlight with their ship.
(It would also show them our love for beauty, aour dependency on water, sense of humour and sense for justice.)
Teaching them our sense for justice worries me. Either they understand we can police ourselves or they start holding us accountable for wrongdoings under their legal system with no warning, assuming we'll understand.
Scary Movie 3
If you know what i mean 😉
Dark Waters
A certain sci fi movie from 1992
Predator
WHATS UP JERKS
GEOSTORM
Minority Report
I mean best is USSR's 1965 Triumph Over Violence, directed by Romm
Mishima: A Life in Four Parts Playtime Aguirre, the Wrath of God Koyaanisqatsi Enter The Void Oh Brother, Where Art Thou? Once Upon a Time in the West
And just for shits
Visitor Q
Clockwork Orange
Roots
I too want to be vaporised. Or even worse they decide to try and participate in our traditions.
zeitgeist
Pacific
Maybe they’ll end us quick
“American Movie”
Nothing summarizes the dream of freedom and creativity of the human species in the face of incompetency like “American Movie”
A documentary about a couple of regular dudes trying to make a horror movie
https://youtu.be/zMFZOu8rDUQ?si=iR2vNZiZpbfJgWWJ
Mongolia
requiem for a dream. im gonna blow their MINDS
Counterpoint, requiem for a pizza
Apocalypse Now