In the eleventh hour, the president declared he would headline the fair himself: He was introduced at a rally Wednesday night by transportation secretary Sean Duffy, who started by dogging on the “libtards that canceled on us.” When Trump finally took the stage, he lauded America as the “hottest” nation in the world. “Nobody’s laughing at us anymore,” said the man filling in for Milli Vanilli.

An hour into my excursion, I have already been the subject of two exorcism attempts ... I step into the food hall, where I see a single vendor: Express Hibachi, which is an unusual name for a purveyor of personal pizzas and chicken Caesar salads

Two men, one donning a “Stand for the Flag, Kneel for the Cross” T-shirt ... “We’re disappointed,” they tell me of their fair experience. They’re traveling with a group that includes children, and they planned to scope out the scene and hopefully invite the rest of the family to come along. But they don’t see how a kid could possibly have fun here, with the lackluster attractions and the conspicuous absence of cotton candy

Like everything this fascist regime does, it's objectively shit.

Feeling bamboozled and stupid for believing that I might find something beautiful at this garish perversion of an American tradition, I consider purchasing three $14 Cutwaters and passing out in the middle of the grass.

Sounds about right.

“Nobody’s laughing at us anymore,” said the man filling in for Milli Vanilli.
This is true for me, america, very true.

I used to laugh, I did, but that was over 10 years ago. When I thought there was no way any population, ever, could take that fat child raping and blatantly corrupt imbecile seriously. Then you voted that thing in, TWICE.
So now I'm just tired of it all, and so very fucking angry at you.

Real Central-Asian dictator vibes, you reckon he's gonna start renaming days of the week?

I step into the food hall, where I see a single vendor: Express Hibachi, which is an unusual name for a purveyor of personal pizzas and chicken Caesar salads. I skip the dining and head straight for the beverage stand. At this moment, I realize it’s all over: The only available lemonade is Minute Maid, sold by the plastic bottle. Feeling bamboozled and stupid for believing that I might find something beautiful at this garish perversion of an American tradition, I consider purchasing three $14 Cutwaters and passing out in the middle of the grass. But I already appear to be emanating a demonic energy to my fellow fairgoers, so I settle on a $5 water.

What could be more USian?

I saw a walking tour video by another guy, and he had pretty much the same report. He went into Alaska and Hawaii (they were sharing a space, with a makeshift wall between them), and saw those same seats with a desk. Now I see that the only reason for it was to have the stamp from each state.

The whole thing was lamer than lame. No wonder all the lame religious cultists showed up. Lame is their thing.

Trump has no sophistication, grace or class. He thinks spray painting wall sconces gold will fool people into thinking he contains those attributes.

When Trump finally took the stage, he lauded America as the “hottest” nation in the world. “Nobody’s laughing at us anymore,” said the man filling in for Milli Vanilli.

Shit sent me 🤣

" "Nobody’s laughing at us anymore,” said the man filling in for Milli Vanilli. "

Absolutely fucking killed me. This journalist deserves all the accolades! So nice to read an actual article written using an actual brain.

The TL;DR summary:

that was a depressing read

They wouldn’t let me take my metal water bottle in with me.

Last year for the Army Expo I tried hiding my last one somewhere near the entrance, only to find it gone when I left.

This time I decided “Fuck that & fuck them” and found something else to do in the District.

Let it be neither slandered nor libeled that Casuls_Die_Thrice makes the same mistake twice.

Puerto Rico played a salsa-dancing tutorial video on loop

I’m surprised Trump administration let Puerto Rico attend at all.