Man bites woman at cherry blossom park in Japan, dies shortly after
It was the man who died. The cause of death is still being investigated, but he was 89 years old.
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Comments76https://soranews24.com/2026/04/08/man-bites-woman-at-cherry-blossom-park-in-japan-dies-shortly-after/Open linkView original on lemmus.org
Patient Zero
That will teach people about having zero patient.
Who says isekai mangas have to start with truck-kun?
is there an isekai where they get isekaied into being truck-kun yet?
Isekai into the Cars universe?
Okay I got one what if you isekai back into "this" universe but as like, the golf driving range ball return kart robot and your fate is to truck-kun people who try to steal range balls into the next life for whatever god. Good, evil, that's up for you to decide in chapter 38, oh tittywhistles, those shits stole my fuck
This is a good time to remember:
If it bites you and you die; venomous
If you bite it and you die; poisonous
If it bites you and you both die, rabies
To match the "venomous" and "poisonous" words, you can also say "contagious".
What about pufferfish? If i bit a fugu in half the wrong way, we'd totally both die.
And if it bites you, and it dies, you are poisonous.
Yeah, but this is: If it bites you and it dies, you're poisonous?
That is identical to the 2nd case.
I'm therefore technically poisonous to pretty much everything that bites me without permission. Hunh. 🤷🏽♂️
So the woman was poisonous, gottit
Women have to protect themselves from weirdos somehow.
Also, believe it or not, jail.
FYI this was last week, the cherry blossoms are basically gone now, 2 weeks earlier than last year. Here's a pic from 2 weeks ago.
I've got cherry trees in Australia and they only bloom for a few days the last few years.
Climate sure is changing, our blooms in the PNW have been lasting for weeks almost a whole month now. I remember years ago as a kid it would be less than a week.
The (edit: second) Osaka one is just sad. Grief sucks.
Unless he killed her...
Oh right, yes. Sorry.
Osaka Man is clearly Florida Man's long lost brother.
plot twist: it's all the same guy
Move over Florida Man, Osaka Man had entered the Arena
the first one sounds like an overreaction to a noisy neighbor.
A lot of twist endings over there, huh?
Fuck yeah, patient zero! I was starting to loose hope that zombie apocalypse could beat out climate change, pollution, wealth inequality, and fascism. But it's back in the race!
Yeah, fire that hope arrow!
Huzzah! Can't wait. I've never liked the idea of eating brains, now it'll be my favourite meal
I hear with a nice chianti and some fava beans...
This site is a treasure trove.
The “you might also like” section is absolutely right about me:
"Japanese man arrested for shouting that he studies English (weird) before grabbing woman's butt (illegal)" was a 10/10 article for sure
Osaka Man, the Japanese counterpart to Florida Man.
Sweet jebus. I've heard that the walls in those apartment are rather thin. Still, this (and the other stories on here) is pretty unhinged.
slightly off topic, but have you noticed how some of the Japanese entertainment that makes its way internationally has a certain element of What The Fuck? It seems to me like a Lack of Inhibition, which in my culture very often tends to be a response to living in overly restrictive environments. In my experience there's a real strong correlation. So is what I see in the entertainment (the general What The Fuck) a yearning for less restriction, less inhibition? Is it a cultural response to previously living under strict authoritarian rule? I don't know. It's just what I see in some art I enjoy, and then we see some FloridaMan type crimes like Dude Emerges From Ceiling And Throws Log and we Really Wonder.
I think I know what you're talking about. Personally, I've always chalked it up to Japanese media as an outlet for people that have to live in a restrictive culture. I think every culture does this to a degree: fantasies are sold for the consumer to live vicariously. Everyone just has different unmet psychological needs, where trends vary culturally. IMO, American media is just as fucked up in completely different ways.
Sometimes it's mental illness, other times it's when all the manga and video games just aren't enough.
So like, one day we found this Korean channel over broadcast (I love the sf bay area) and this program was all about this lady finding this horrid green with sprinkles and warts and probably a super fund grant poop was on a plate on her kitchen table. Like, it was really diseased like someone who has a very damaged gastrointestinal tract and eats a lot of candy with a lot of neon food dye got really backed up then shat out a bear that then shat out this shit. And she really wanted to know which of her friends or neighbors or landlords maybe left the shit. I couldn't really follow all the people but I could follow the shit panic.
Anyways, it was one of the realest things I've ever watched and the turd looked hilarious and to this day I have no idea what it was. I promise 5 hatsune miku forehead kisses redeemable whenever the fuck you can get hatsune miku to redeem forehead kiss coupons issued by someone else to whoever can figure out what the fuck I watched
I just want to know it existed and wasn't a hallucination from drinking too much hot dog water or something
In Japan we say the crazies come out in spring. Glad we're still keeping that tradition alive.
man didn't tell she was of the poisonous type
Never heard about this toxic femininity before!
We're fucked
So glad someone turned that news story into a terrible animated video!
As is tradition!
Never bite your woman in a cherry blossom park in Japan.
And so it begins.
I think i am ready for it TBH!
I don't know if Japan of all places is ready for it. We'd better hope the zombies are vulnerable to airsoft BBs.
Cherry blossoms are symbolic of a short life, but he was 89, so it doesn't poetically apply here.
I really expected that to go the other way. A bite from an unkempt mouth on an older person just sounds like a great way to get sepsis.
Rabies? /s
You say "/s" but, for anyone else reading, Japan is considered rabies free so that would certainly be a big deal we're it the case.
I wanted to make a joke but people reacted very seriously so I added an /s
It doesn't seem to help, so I guess I was joking about a sensitive topic or so. If that is the case I am sorry.
I wasn't offended/bothered at all.
Death from Rabies is a horrifying, long winded torture - if he was able to get to the park a few hours before his death, it wasn't rabies.
Iirc rabies kills you (assuming you're a human) before you can pass it on
No. A person goes to the doctor before the psychological symptoms get severe.
Speaking of cherry blossoms, can anyone remember (or find) that greentext about the incel trying to get with a girl at the cherry blossoms?
It's really fucking long and the person does come across as fucking mental
https://bleachplatinumhearts.forumotion.com/t6115-2ch-love-story-op-and-denko
Thank you!
Wanna come and see some cherry blossoms with me?
That fucking stupid emoji that he does is already annoying, what's it mean to be? A bear??
TIL it means "downhearted"? I always thought it looked like a pig, haha. https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/(%C2%B4%E3%83%BB%CF%89%E3%83%BB%60)
I don't think there's much of a mystery he was 89 years old and he was sort of dude to go around biting people
She was poisonous, you see.
You wouldn't have to clarify that if you simply didn't follow the inane newspaper headline style that should be dead in the age of the web.
Community rules require titling the post with the headline used in the article.
I think there may have been a trend of using cyanide or something like that as make-up powder for its unusual whitening properties.
Bath salts
Onsen salts, actually.
Is she the reincarnation of chuck norris?