Spyke

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27 replies

lemmy.world

Ngl, sand repelling anus sounds like a good upgrade. Anakin would approve.

37

It's coarse, irritating, and it gets everywhere.

Except my anus!

26
lemmy.ca

I’ve never had issues with anus sand… what are you guys doing at the beach?

22

Describe arm flaps? I think I have those. My anus also frequently emits high powered bursts of gas which could puff away loose sand. I think perhaps I'm pretty close to an ideal beach bod.

9
danekraereply
lemmy.world

I don't know if I picture you more as Anakin Skywalker or Shai Hulud.

5

that shat mind altering chemicals that literally let you travel the vastness of space in mere minutes

You say that, like it's not a bonus

4
lemmy.ca

And webbed feet so sand doesn’t get stuck between your toes.

8

Big flappy webbed feet would be amazing for swimming. You wouldn’t need fins. But oversized feet aren’t really considered attractive on women :(

5

Exactly, my blubber adds extra insulation, buoyancy, and protection from predators.

4

Plus, it makes you a better food source for sharks.

2

Didn't forget the nictating eye membranes so you can see underwater, maybe some gills.

3

You reached the end