Spyke

Over 200,000 Danish citizens Sign Petition to ‘Buy’ California From U.S After Greenland Dispute

UPDATE -- I found the original website and it's even better than we thought.

https://denmarkification.com/

Part 2 - This was started in Feb 2025 when tRump first proposed taking over Greenland.

https://apnews.com/article/denmark-greenland-california-75f1521f32871069e9840069e829e4dc

What began as a joke on social media has snowballed into one of the most talked-about political satire campaigns in Europe this year. More than 200,000 Danish citizens have now signed a viral petition proposing that Denmark buy the U.S. state of California, a tongue-in-cheek response to former U.S. President Donald Trump’s past interest in acquiring Greenland.

Under the fictional proposal, Californians would be welcomed into the Kingdom of Denmark with a package of benefits that reads like a parody of Nordic governance. The petition promises “rule of law, universal health care, and fact-based politics” as immediate perks of Danish administration.

To underscore the absurdity, the organizers also pledge a lifetime supply of Danish pastries for all 39 million residents of the state. The petition’s website jokingly notes that while Denmark cannot solve every problem, “we are very confident about pastries.”

The satirical plan goes further, outlining a full cultural “Denmarkification” of the West Coast. Los Angeles would be rechristened “Løs Ångeles,” while Danish-style cycling infrastructure would spread across cities more famous for traffic jams than bicycles.

Even California’s most iconic institutions are not spared. Disneyland would be rebranded as “Hans Christian Andersenland,” a nod to Denmark’s most famous storyteller, Hans Christian Andersen. The petition cheerfully asks readers to imagine fairy tales replacing cartoon mascots, and even suggests that Viking helmets might become standard park attire.

Over 200,000 Danish citizens Sign Petition to ‘Buy’ California From U.S After Greenland Disputehttps://www.thedefensenews.com/news-details/Over-200000-Danish-citizens-Sign-Petition-to-Buy-California-From-US-After-Greenland-Dispute/Open linkView original on sh.itjust.works
piefed.social

As a spokesperson for CA citizens, we'll take it! Please and thank you.

162
assemblyreply
lemmy.world

As a WA state resident, we require inclusion in the deal. In fact, you buy 1 California and receive a complimentary WA state for free! Act now, and receive a special-one-time Oregon while supplies last!

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wheezyreply
lemmy.ml

If it were up to me Canada would buy us. I heard their getting China EVs soon.

6
Someonereply
lemmy.ca

No, too many Americans, we'd be a minority in our own country. I think we'd all be happy to visit Washington, Oregon, and California again and more often than before if it didn't require travelling to the US though.

1

What if we only let the non Tesla drivers stay and purge the Tesla drivers from Washington? It would be a good filter and less people. Deal?

1

As a Washingtonian, yes please, and thank you for including us and Oregon. It is greatly appreciated!

13
piefed.social

Would you be fine if we just made you EU members instead of a state? That might make things less complicated. And would piss Trump off even more.

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NotSteve_reply
piefed.ca

Unless I'm being wooshed, I think it might be best to start learning the actual languages spoken in Denmark unless you expect the Netherlands to outbid them lol

5
piefed.social

I think it's psychologically important for Denmark to own California

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sopuli.xyz

Why is it even part of the US? Just because some ships have been landed there? Well, danish has landed there too.

22

Mah, they should slop the photo with AI and say they did it

1

It's psychologically important for me to, the change would be of immense psychological benefit to me.

9

Don’t tempt us with a good time.

Also, can you take MA too? We have lots of neat bioscience stuff, tons of universities, and a similar dislike of orangeboi.

41
lemmy.world

a package of benefits that reads like a parody of Nordic governance. The petition promises “rule of law, universal health care, and fact-based politics”

That’s not even a parody, just daily life in the nordics contrasted with the US.

22

"Rule of law" and "fact-based politics" is just code for supporting existing power structures.

Turns out when you write the law, your rule is definitionally rule of law, and when you own the media, you get to determine what the facts are.

Both these concepts were used when the US sterilized mostly black women until... I think they're still doing it in some prisons, and when Denmark sterilized Inuits as recently as 2018.

1

Hey listen: California is vital for Denmark's security, for some reason. Also, the Danish prime minister was snubbed for the Nobel Peace Prize, so that means that they're going to invade us if we don't comply with the sale.

19

Frankly, I'd like to move to Denmark or Greenland, but they'd probably be understandably suspicious of me.

17

I was about to say, "past interest"!? How naïve the article writer was a year ago...

3

Canada wants to buy Minnesota. They seem like our kind of people.

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lemmy.world

California is one of the few states (most) Americans would not want to give up.

How about some of the Deep South?

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pelespiritreply
sh.itjust.works

I guess Alabama would be really expensive for us to pay you to take. Maybe Florida?

Alabama residents receive over $60 billion from the federal government—23% of all personal income.

These payments, known as transfer payments, include Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, veteran’s benefits, unemployment, Pell Grants, and others.* The report explains how an aging population and shrinking economic opportunities have shifted many communities into reliance on these transfer payments.

To put the $60 billion in perspective, Alabama’s four automakers generate $6.4 billion in total compensation, according to a report from Autos Drive America and the American International Automobile Dealers Association, as reported by al.com. That’s about one-tenth of the amount received from federal transfer payments.

In other words, a 10% reduction in these payments would have a similar economic effect on personal income as shuttering Alabama’s entire auto industry.

https://parcalabama.org/alabamas-60-billion-question/

10

Alabama residents receive over $60 billion from the federal government—23% of all personal income.

This trend infuriates me to no end. It's one thing to subsidize underperforming states, but the fucking attitude these people have about "welfare" when their state literally would not exist without it in one form or another is just the worst. 1/4 of all personal income comes from other taxpayers in other states. The ultimate welfare program.

Not just Alabama, every southern "taker" state. I wish we could cut them off for a year to shut them the fuck up.

2

hmm, Give me a bit to open up a crowdsource campaign. We could stand to lose some red in the map :)

3

How about a trade? I mean, Trump really wants Greenland. That's about 2.2 million square kilometers.

Texas is about 0.7 million square kilometers. California is 0.4. New Mexico 0.3. Arizona is 0.3. That makes 1.7 million square kilometers.

So how about they swap? The USA get Greenland, Denmark gets all of the states adjoining Mexico. That swap is super favorable to the Americans (2.2 > 1.7, after all) and the USA even get a nice buffer state between themselves and those Mexican drug cartels they're so afraid of. There's literally no downside. Trump would be the greatest landswapper in all of history, if not more. I'm sure Denmark would even give him a Nobel Prize in Economy or two.

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lemmy.world

Texas or Florida would have been a much more appropriate choice. Trump doesn't even like California.

13

I don't know. Is there a country of Shreks out there somewhere? They might want to buy the thing.

6

We're prepared to take Cape Canaveral but the rest of it can be tossed. No one wants to deal with Miami

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lemmy.world

I would be inclined to listen to their trade offers of California. I would also offer Minnesota to Canada for a future draft pick.........

10

Take the whole west coast. OR and WA are sick of this BS too. Hell, take HI as well!

9

California must be worried about the scourge of Mexico on the border. Let Denmark take over and mooth over the relationship and let free trade and immigration flow across the border once more. Further, Cali would instantly be the most populous Danish property over night.

9

Oh damn, don't tease me with a good time. I'm not a rich man, but I'd make a donation to help pay for the purchase.

9

I will gladly move to California ahead of the purchase.

Quite honestly Trump could tout this as a win. Huge buyout and they get rid of a bunch of uppity liberals.

6

Please buy all the west coast. We're like triplets and don't want to be parted. /puppydogeyes

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infosec.pub

Can they buy Arkansas instead? We need a state government that respects the bodily autonomy of women, and I'd appreciate operating under Danish national law rather than a federal government run by Trump.

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lemmy.world

I'm not sure you we should be subjecting Denmark to the people of Arkansas

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bss03reply
infosec.pub

As a "people of Arkansas", many of them aren't that bad, but just vote R for lower taxes. Their behavior can still be problematic, but they aren't intending to hurt anyone, even people they don't understand.

Now, some of them of monstrous religious zealots (often well-armed), and I wouldn't wish them on anyone, but I think the Danish system is just as well set up to deal with them and the American system.

2
lemmy.world

... We should not inflict armed religious zealots on Denmark. No matter how many of them "aren't bad people"

1

I think you misread me. The "aren't bad people" are wholly separate from the "armed religious zealots", tho both appear in Arkansas (and most states, including California and New York).

1

I'm not sure about the countries and what they do. Is Norway running Denmark? Will this finally get trump the Holland Peace Prize? /s

7

I would give the Danes a bundle deal. Buy California and I'll include all the Blue States.

7

I should moving to Denmark because I’m part of Denmark so fuck America!!!!

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lemmy.world

I see people are still treating this like the joke it very much isn't. I doubt many of us will still be laughing in a few months.

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lemmy.world

No, they need to buy Florida. 2 Republican Senators, net loss of 12 Republican House seats. Lop Florida off the country and we have a better shot of pulling out of this nonsense.

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bstixreply
feddit.dk

Buy Florida? Forget it.

Let's try again:

How much are you willing to pay us for sailing three longships full of drones onto the beach at Mar-a-lago and claiming the land as ours?

(The boat-show is a useless but mandatory expense).

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dhorkreply
lemmy.world

Can you abduct him while you are at it and bring him to the Hague? It's not that far for you guys

8

Euopean prisons are too good for him, and I don't care about justice at this point.

He should be placed in an American mental asylum for the rest of his days. A lobotomy and a few daily electroshocks would do good for his dementia and keep his mania in check.

5

I'm sure we can work out a decent crowd-source to pay, they get lots of fresh produce and a bunch of theme parks. Hell it has a ton of old people, just thrown in some healthcare, they might even go willingly

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