You apparently have no idea the dick's talent for aiming for the crack between the seat and rim, no matter how you go about "tucking" it downwards to try to prevent just that. Even sitting, leaning so far forward your hands are on the floor, is no guarantee.
I agree that this can happen, but at least its pretty rare. Standing while peeing however makes a mess in a radius around the toilet every time. I mean, when you live alone and have no guests ever then this might not be an issue, but in every other case it's pretty nasty.
Back when I could consistently roll my foreskin back, aiming from standing was the cleaner option. I have no idea what animals you've lived with that couldn't get their pee in the bowl consistently, but I'm sorry, I guess?
I'm a man, and i tell you that even if you aim perfectly with rolled back foreskin, the splashback when the stream hits the ceramic creates a radius around the bowl where small droplets land. Either someone else cleaned the floors back then when your foreskin was youthful, or noone cleaned them.
There are plenty of spots to aim other than the water, most of which will disperse the spray and splash down and towards the center of the bowl. The Swedes literally carved a fake fly in one spot in particular on urinals to make it clear, but regular toilet bowls are actually more forgiving.
Maybe your boyish masculinity demanded you ignore such things while standing as tall as you could and forcibly emptying your bladder as hard and fast as possible, but such inadequacy does not make you a man, nor does leaving the mess for others to clean-up. A man-child maybe, but definitely not a mature one.
Bend-at-the knees and let the flow do its thing without treating your prostate and abs like they owe you money. Your "torrent" requires neither extreme focus-and-effort, nor an assist from gravity.
Sure from your description, one of us should NEVER have been standing to pee, nor go around calling themselves a "Man" even today. Surprisingly, its not me.
Peeing standing up is splattering piss water everywhere what the fuck are you talking about?
Edit - omg you loser lol, literally went through every comment I've ever made and downvoted them LMFAO oh no what ever will I do... Rent free. Rent. Free.
Sometimes? I'm not tall at all, and if I pee standing up I later see droplets of pee basically everywhere. It wasn't that much of a problem as a child, so I guess it's height-based. But again, for an adult I'm not tall at all.
Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
Lower your entire pants to the floor.
Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but
Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
Separate your thighs such that you can
Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
Proceed to urinate.
Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.
This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.
I keep all my bathroom stuff in my room because none of the people I've ever lived with have thought it worth their time to put down the lid when they flush.
Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
That has a lot less to do with the size of your cock and way more to do with the size of your ass.
Lose some weight. I'm well endowed and have only ever had an issue of "where penis go" when I tried to go while fully erect when I was a string bean of a teenager, and again as an adult when I weighed around 275 lbs and tried to go with a chub.
Might also be a grower vs shower thing too, but your experience is not anywhere as common as you think.
Edit: Would be much more of a problem if you're using one of the round bowl toilets instead of the "long" ones with an oval shaped bowl, but the only non-long ones I've ever encountered were in places that hadn't replaced theirs since around 1950.
I don't think I've ever seen an elongated bowl in any residential building I've ever been to. In older bathrooms like mine you can't even feasibly fit one, or you'll have a hard time either closing the door or getting past it to go into the shower.
Neither my ass nor my dick are particularly large, but my dick still touches the front of the bowl if I don't hold it back the entire time I'm sitting. So that's what I do. A little cumbersome to only have one hand for pulling, ripping and folding the toilet paper, but not really an issue.
see, you and I (sane, logical people), say no arguing - but I've seen people argue against just always putting the lid down. I don't understand it. but they do it.
Seriously. Why stand, miss, clean up your own piss (now or later), then repeat all that every time? Also: standing causes splashing - it NEVER all goes into the bowl.
Congratulations! The stream of your piss hit the rim of the toilet bowl, splattering on the seat, your balls, your legs, and some of it made it through the seat-rim gap to coat your underwear as well! I hope that you enjoy (I know I did...)!
(if it was not connected to my nervous system I would obliterate this thing with gratuitous violence)
So this happens because the urethra loses moisture and welds shut, then pee chooses the least-resistance path. If you can't pee sitting ('cause it's easier), one trick is to clamp your dick and push to pee, then release. The pressure will open the urethra wide and a beautiful, directed stream of piss will come out. Also, pull your foreskin back when peeing and clean afterwards with a dab of toilet paper. Fellating persons will thank you!
That wasn't the trick they were talking about. They were saying to start peeing, but prevent the flow of urine to let pressure build up to blast open the urethra.
negative brain: just stand and accept fate's golden stream pouring down your leg small brain: pull skin and aim normal brain: pee sitting down so you don't piss yourself big brain: also watch how it's hanging megabrain: cut off balls so you can see better how to aim gigabrain: all out bottom surgery just so you can pee in peace
I've sat down to relieve myself in the middle of the night while sick and half asleep and felt a strong warmth down the back of my legs because I pissed on myself through the gap under the toilet seat
I'll pee sitting down sometimes in my own home but peeing sitting down with a penis in a public restroom is gross. Regardless of whether your dick aims at the water or the side of the bowl that's a lot of fine spray of toilet microbiota landing on your junk and undercarriage. Better to just piss everywhere all over the seat and stay pure
Its good to make sitting the default, especially in a hurry, but another option available to non-catholics is to gently flex and stretch the hose to prevent sides of the urethra from being stuck together.
Reasons I unironically want a FUD/STP device; Not that I've bothered to be pro-active about it. Even sitting to pee does not reign-in the dick's non-sense.
I think it has more to do with sleeping on it or getting it squished in tight jeans prior, along with the urgency to not having enough time to test the waters.
or, y'know, you could sit down. saves on cleaning even when you fail at handling your dick.
You apparently have no idea the dick's talent for aiming for the crack between the seat and rim, no matter how you go about "tucking" it downwards to try to prevent just that. Even sitting, leaning so far forward your hands are on the floor, is no guarantee.
I'm glad to learn that mine lacks that talent. I never even knew that was a thing.
I agree that this can happen, but at least its pretty rare. Standing while peeing however makes a mess in a radius around the toilet every time. I mean, when you live alone and have no guests ever then this might not be an issue, but in every other case it's pretty nasty.
Back when I could consistently roll my foreskin back, aiming from standing was the cleaner option. I have no idea what animals you've lived with that couldn't get their pee in the bowl consistently, but I'm sorry, I guess?
I'm a man, and i tell you that even if you aim perfectly with rolled back foreskin, the splashback when the stream hits the ceramic creates a radius around the bowl where small droplets land. Either someone else cleaned the floors back then when your foreskin was youthful, or noone cleaned them.
There are plenty of spots to aim other than the water, most of which will disperse the spray and splash down and towards the center of the bowl. The Swedes literally carved a fake fly in one spot in particular on urinals to make it clear, but regular toilet bowls are actually more forgiving.
Maybe your boyish masculinity demanded you ignore such things while standing as tall as you could and forcibly emptying your bladder as hard and fast as possible, but such inadequacy does not make you a man, nor does leaving the mess for others to clean-up. A man-child maybe, but definitely not a mature one.
Bend-at-the knees and let the flow do its thing without treating your prostate and abs like they owe you money. Your "torrent" requires neither extreme focus-and-effort, nor an assist from gravity.
Sure from your description, one of us should NEVER have been standing to pee, nor go around calling themselves a "Man" even today. Surprisingly, its not me.
Use a hand to bend it down.
But then you risk it touching the inside parts of the toilet which is nasty
clean your toilet mr long schlong
Shouldn't cleaning the toilet and bathroom interior in general regularly be the default?
Peeing standing up is splattering piss water everywhere what the fuck are you talking about?
Edit - omg you loser lol, literally went through every comment I've ever made and downvoted them LMFAO oh no what ever will I do... Rent free. Rent. Free.
Sometimes? I'm not tall at all, and if I pee standing up I later see droplets of pee basically everywhere. It wasn't that much of a problem as a child, so I guess it's height-based. But again, for an adult I'm not tall at all.
Or y'know, just clean the toilet regularly regardless of whether you're standing or sitting.
Did you know that when you flush a toilet, the bowl gets rinsed with clean water
Growers win again
If he chops it off he'll have to sit down anyway, so yeah...
So there's this really cool trick:
Face AWAY from the toilet with the heels of your feet close to the base.
Un-button/tie/velcro/zip the whole waistband (not just the fly) such that you can-
Lower your entire pants to the floor.
Now this part can be a bit tricky and does take some practice to keep your balance but
Bend your knees down into a squat while leaning ever so slightly backwards (you can put a hand on a nearby solid object such as the sink or a wall to steady yourself. They also make raised seats with handles on either side if you need help with this).
Situate your buttocks firmly on the seat.
Separate your thighs such that you can
Point your penis down between your legs towards the toilet bowl.
Proceed to urinate.
Hygiene is the same as peeing using other techniques.
This technique is all but foolproof; it is almost impossible to miss the toilet bowl.
Hope this helps!
You forgot to state that the lid should be up
Now I've got piss everywhere
OK you have a point that I will only grant because I'm so used to finding the lid left up despite my best efforts but you are correct.
I keep all my bathroom stuff in my room because none of the people I've ever lived with have thought it worth their time to put down the lid when they flush.
And the pants, lowered all the way to the floor, are swimming in a pool of piss
Sitting can be very difficult first thing in the morning sometimes. Well, not the sitting part but the getting your dick to point down into the bowl part.
Some mornings, after you sit, you need to bend over until your forehead is on your feet.
I prefer to put my hands on the floor and lift my feet up against the wall.
Well step 1 should be: Beat that meat into submission
1+1=2
2+2=4
4+4=8
8+8=16
16+16=32
32+32=64
64+64=128
128+128=256
256+256=512
512+512=1024
1024+1024=2048
2048+204… submission (if not, sing this, with the same voice ☞ https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=NfnTKUkCafo
DO NOT FUCK UP STEP 7
Don't kink shame
No kink shaming. Simply put, "Under the seat" is NOT equivalent to "towards the bowel". If you get off on the gamble then flow free my friend.
You forgot the most important step:
Usually why I stand.
How do you poop? Do you hold your dick up?
That has a lot less to do with the size of your cock and way more to do with the size of your ass.
Lose some weight. I'm well endowed and have only ever had an issue of "where penis go" when I tried to go while fully erect when I was a string bean of a teenager, and again as an adult when I weighed around 275 lbs and tried to go with a chub.
Might also be a grower vs shower thing too, but your experience is not anywhere as common as you think.
Edit: Would be much more of a problem if you're using one of the round bowl toilets instead of the "long" ones with an oval shaped bowl, but the only non-long ones I've ever encountered were in places that hadn't replaced theirs since around 1950.
I don't think I've ever seen an elongated bowl in any residential building I've ever been to. In older bathrooms like mine you can't even feasibly fit one, or you'll have a hard time either closing the door or getting past it to go into the shower.
But then, wouldn't it flop tothe floor? It makes no sense!
Neither my ass nor my dick are particularly large, but my dick still touches the front of the bowl if I don't hold it back the entire time I'm sitting. So that's what I do. A little cumbersome to only have one hand for pulling, ripping and folding the toilet paper, but not really an issue.
I still stand when I pee, though.
Pee sitting down, you coward
And close the lid before flushing, you nasties
(Added benefit: no arguing)
see, you and I (sane, logical people), say no arguing - but I've seen people argue against just always putting the lid down. I don't understand it. but they do it.
Seriously. Why stand, miss, clean up your own piss (now or later), then repeat all that every time? Also: standing causes splashing - it NEVER all goes into the bowl.
It'll shock you to learn that most men don't bother wiping after peeing, either. They just let it drip in their underwear.
For those of you that might say it doesn't matter — I am living proof of your error. You can wipe your dick after peeing, I know — outlandish.
Touching that sweet cold porcelaine... Priceless.
just live somewhere hot
it was hot when i moved here
Congratulations! The stream of your piss hit the rim of the toilet bowl, splattering on the seat, your balls, your legs, and some of it made it through the seat-rim gap to coat your underwear as well! I hope that you enjoy (I know I did...)!
(if it was not connected to my nervous system I would obliterate this thing with gratuitous violence)
"Me and my dick no longer see eye to eye."
"...That's probably for the best, ophthalmologically speaking."
Let's reminded me of that dear penis song from Rodney Carrington
So this happens because the urethra loses moisture and welds shut, then pee chooses the least-resistance path. If you can't pee sitting ('cause it's easier), one trick is to clamp your dick and push to pee, then release. The pressure will open the urethra wide and a beautiful, directed stream of piss will come out. Also, pull your foreskin back when peeing and clean afterwards with a dab of toilet paper. Fellating persons will thank you!
I stopped reading at "clamp your dick"
That trick works. Before you pee, gently squeeze the tip vertically to open up the urethra.
Usually I just slam mine in the door, twice for best results.
I do it regardless if I need to pee or not
I think there's a gulf of difference between 'gently squeeze' and 'clamp your dick', but ok.
That wasn't the trick they were talking about. They were saying to start peeing, but prevent the flow of urine to let pressure build up to blast open the urethra.
I'm no urologist, but that sounds unhealthy.
Oh, I misunderstood because that's abhorrent
But it works......probably should not use that as a test for things on your body....
It's all good if it works....NO!
Not dangerous but you'll prolly piss on your fingers.
Well, if that's too scary for you, you can always blow a bit into it to inflate the urethra.
Gear... Third
The ol' dick clamp
Thanks for a urethra lifehack! Might save me at times :D
Anon needs to add "pee" between the fapping and sleeping in his bedtime routine, and the leftover spunk won't be around to do that.
It gets hard sometimes... 😞
Love the morning pee boner, where it seems like your dick is trying to ruin the start of your day
EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY EYES
Quit thinking of dudes when you choose your eyes.
wait until this guy sits down to pee without paying attention to how things are hanging and feels it running down his calves
ask me how I know
Doing bottom surgery entirely to pee consistently
negative brain: just stand and accept fate's golden stream pouring down your leg
small brain: pull skin and aim
normal brain: pee sitting down so you don't piss yourself
big brain: also watch how it's hanging
megabrain: cut off balls so you can see better how to aim
gigabrain: all out bottom surgery just so you can pee in peace
how do you know?
I've sat down to relieve myself in the middle of the night while sick and half asleep and felt a strong warmth down the back of my legs because I pissed on myself through the gap under the toilet seat
I ain't afraid to admit it
ive done that a lot too. absolutely infuriating 😂
Yup, been there. Not fun.
I just piss into a wet vac
Hard to miss when it sucks the pee out
how is space?
Piss after jacking off, anon.
I'll pee sitting down sometimes in my own home but peeing sitting down with a penis in a public restroom is gross. Regardless of whether your dick aims at the water or the side of the bowl that's a lot of fine spray of toilet microbiota landing on your junk and undercarriage. Better to just piss everywhere all over the seat and stay pure
Sit the fuck down.
Its good to make sitting the default, especially in a hurry, but another option available to non-catholics is to gently flex and stretch the hose to prevent sides of the urethra from being stuck together.
Just a quick rotational movement.
Do Catholics pee differently than everyone else?
That was a joke about how they're not allowed to touch themselves.
No, but their palms are conspicuously hairy
Bros jerking too much and he isn’t cleaning his tip.
Check the meatus for lint. Somehow, there's always fucking lint!
The perks of living alone. You just flush and go about your day.
Mine got chopped off 9 years ago.
Well inverted and made into a vagina, but the former is how most people seem to think it works.
Do not miss the penis
Happy slay :3 that rocks! you must be so much happier.
I am
Pee sitting down?????
With great power comes great responsibility. The ability to control comes with the burden of having to exert that control
You're supposed to pull the foreskin before pissing. Otherwise you're just asking for it.
Can't knock the solution, it does work
I swear I always get a cupful trapped in the hood every time I’m wearing light coloured trousers and then it escapes when I stand up.
I can't believe I have to say this.
Pull the foreskin back. Or sit/sqaut at a toilet and dry/dab with toilet paper.
Sorry, dad.
There is surgery that can help anon
Maybe not take a piss with a morning boner could help
jelqd too hard
Reasons I unironically want a FUD/STP device; Not that I've bothered to be pro-active about it. Even sitting to pee does not reign-in the dick's non-sense.
Pull back your foreskin or sit down
Nope.
I think it has more to do with sleeping on it or getting it squished in tight jeans prior, along with the urgency to not having enough time to test the waters.