Do white men need to walk on eggshells?
We are a women's only community, so please no male comments.
Edit: thanks all for reporting the hostile remarks! You really are an amazing group of people. Really appreciate how positive so many men have been as well. I see you all and value you ❤️
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"White men"(sexist and/or racist old dicksack) need to "walk on eggshells"(can no longer say racist and/or sexist thing in a corporate environment).
I hate that I remember how to speak Fox News.
Yep it's not a nice language to speak
Only bigots are afraid to "speak freely" at work. I speak freely all the time, and at work, you just have to not be marginalising or belittling or degrading someone else while doing it.
I think this is an excellent point. Any reasonable person will accept a challenge if they unknowingly say or do anything inappropriate. Which they're unlikely to do
To paraphrase a quote I really like:
"I say all the vile, racist and sexist shit I want to say, which is none. How much do you want to say?"
Jesus christ. I saw a thread in some other community the other day about Women's Stuff and the men wah-wah-wahing like little babies about this sub were ridiculous. Same thing - in that thread some man was saying that when he replied to threads here he felt like he had to walk on eggshells.
You guys, all we want is one tiny corner of lemmy to ourselves. Somewhere we can talk about things that uniquely affect us -or- perhaps they affect men too but they affect us in a unique way due to our gender. And many men are cool with this concept and generally supportive (and a sincere thank you to those guys!) but a significant number are butthurt little babies about being unwanted here.
Those are the same butthurt little babies in the Fox News poll. If you can't keep it civil in the workplace I don't know what to tell you other than you're a low-quality human. Have some fucking empathy.
Edit: here's the post I was talking about.
I looked at that thread earlier and there were so many disgusting comments in there. It reminds me of why I left reddit a few years ago. The API changes and discussion of alternate places led me here, but I left primarily because of all the rampant misogyny, transphobia, racism, etc and the mods and admins who refused to do anything about it.
I really enjoy Blåhaj and the mods and admins here who actually care about kicking out bigots.
Also feel like this is very relevant here:
This, I miss the old Late Stage Capitalism Reddit circa 2016, 2015. I wish I could join a forum with those people again
Yep! They have the whole rest of lemmy to hang out in we're literally ONE group. I saw the thread but I was heartened to see how many men were standing up for is, plus a man warned me about the thread so we could protect ourselves. There were so many men there moaning that they couldn't come here and tell us we were wrong.
Both genders have the exact same amount of lemmy to hang out in. I dont understand why this community is so public if its meant to be a safe space. You can't just post a sign that says "gurlz only" and expect it to actually work as a deterrent.
Thanks so much for dropping by! Ive had to ban you due to your behaviour, I hope you understand ❤️
You dont know what the hell you're talking about, ask a trans guy, someone who has had both sets of experiences and whom you may actually listen to.
99.44% of Lemmy is dominated by men.
One group out of thousand (maybe even tens of thousands by now!) asks men not to post.
The more emotional gender melts down.
It's the circle of life.
Lol i'm still getting replies whining about how it's worse than hilter
To be fair, hilter was the wooooorst ;)
No he wasn't, he never told poor mens that women could talk without their input! That's a far greater crime!!
Love this, these men on Lemmy need some feminism 101 and some training. This is good for them and will improve the Lemmy community overall. (Which is why the misogynists are mad about it)
Or just talk about things without every single thread being about men and their shitty brittle little feelings and having to explain shit to them constantly because they're dumber than rocks.
Kinda typing this on rocks right now, and they retain informatuon pretty well.
Getting an error on your link, but maybe that's for the best.
I wonder if that post was deleted - if so, then it's definitely for the best!
Unfortunately the link doesn't work, could you tell me the name of the community? I've recently started using Reddit again because I lacked female content so much, knowing that such a community exists is amazing and I want to join
I would guess the link was to a post on the lemmyshitpost community on lemmyworld. There was a meme that mentioned this community and is now gone.
It was a meme about writing a "banger" comment and then deleting it to respect the women's only rule. Discussion did what you would expect.
This community here at womensstuff is a women's only place that is quite nice.
This is the community. The link is to another thread elsewhere where they were complaining about this community
Walking on eggshells = not able to say dumb racist shit without getting called out.
Tbh white women are equally as capable of saying racists shit, and work or not
thanks for your comment, but this community is women-only and has a rule that only women are permitted to comment or post, so please don't comment again. Thanks for understanding! 🧡
Yep!!!
Those last two words are never asked, nor answered.
This reminds me of a former colleague. He'd always complain that he can't say anything at work anymore and humor is forbidden. Examples were: Our suppliers don't issue bikini model calenders anymore, even though that was some harmless fun! Also hanging up bikini model calenders is not allowed anymore! It was just some harmless fun. And back then female colleagues didn't complain when you told them to make coffee for you. They are so uncooperative and easily offended nowadays!
"You can't even tell a coworker that you think she's cute any more!"
My brother in Christ, the new intern doesn't need comments on her looks from someone who is (1) higher than she is on the org chart and (2) older than her actual father. Just stop.
If you wouldn't say it to a male coworker, don't say it to any coworker. It's not that hard.
Yes and then I get told from other people (even my boyfriend) that's just nice of them. Fuck it I don't want to hear from some old, higher up that I look good. Had to kneel down to do something at work and that guy said: oh so nice to have a woman kneeling in front of me. Yeah and then I'm paranoid and a snowflake. Just some innocent comment on my look for sure.
I would start wearing a fcking wire to work after that, provided you arent in a 2party state. Get your bag if u can, fuck that guy
Translation: considering who you're speaking to when you speak to them.
Even 8 year olds know that you should think before speaking.
That's excellently put. Many times I've had to be careful not to say anything feminist/inclusive around certain white men cos it's professionally or even physically dangerous
White men around my job site freely walk around with MAGA hats. The only eggshells I see are beneath those who would talk to them.
If you're a white man who feels like they have to walk on eggshells at work because of that white male identity, you're pretty fragile. I'd hate to see you have to navigate the same social norms that non white males have to. You'd fucking crumble.
Yep, try being a black trans man ffs. They wouldn't last a minute
The problem is that whenever they reveal that they're terrible people, others treat them like they're terrible people.
If they weren't older straight cjs white males, the odd of them being fucking terrible would probably be a lot lower, because it's very hard to turn into an absolutely terrible person without a solid dose of privilege for a few decades.
Can't spew hate anymore without someone going 'that's not nice'. Political corectness gone mad.
Can’t we be awful to innocent bystanders in peace???
Every time I start to feel bad for these men, I remember every time I was either victimized or made to feel uncomfortable on purpose and I no longer feel bad about it. I think there is an aspect of me that is able to sympathize, but a bigger part is fucking bitter and wants to see them get a taste of their own medicine.
You do realise not every man hurt you right? We have feelings too you know, attitudes like this is exactly why suicide in men is so high at the moment
oh is it my turn now?
ahem...
please read the rules. Women's only community.
Sorry about how you're feeling, I do sympathize, but please share it elsewhere.
I don't care if it's a women's only community, the double standards is disgusting, how do you think it would go down if I went online and posted that I hate all women and want them to suffer because I had a couple of bad experiences
Thanks so much for popping by! We are women only and keep this a positive community so I've had to ban you. All the very best 💘
I will break the rules too just to reply to you. She does not use the word "hate" even once AND she starts avoiding generalizing by saying "these men"... and here you are taking it personally, so I can just assume that you are one of "these men", further proved by how you come to a women's only space and then disregard their feelings/needs, thank you for proving their point.
Of course you don't care. You're a man! You simply must be heard. Especially when your precious fee-fees are hurt. We all know, after all, how fragile and emotional men are, what with all the hormones coursing through their bodies turning them into unreasoning, quivering piles of fraught emotion!
This whole thread and community is a bad solution to a real problem.
great opinion from someone who's never ever commented on any post in this community save to complain about it being exclusionary after it pinged on the Upset Male Radar
I don't sympathize anymore.
Your neeeeeeeeed to be heaaaaaaard is Not Our Problem
Don't worry. If he goes another five minutes with more than two living women not worshipping his dick (one if his mom is dead), he'll kill random strangers until it's our problem.
Suffer how? Suffer from the consequences of your own actions? Fine! Let every person on earth answer for their crimes against others.
Women have been walking on eggshells among other horrors for 99.9% of recorded history for no reason, but we haven't had the privilege until very recently to call it out. Men have to suffer consequences by witnessing the harm of their own actions for .00000001% of history and expect everyone else to weep for them. Either take some responsibility or shut the fuck up and let us have our fucking MOMENT of justice.
Im getting popcorn. You're great.
Maybe every man needs a good reminder why hurting others is wrong. If some don't hurt people they have nothing to worry about. Maybe those who are so resistant to seeing positive change have heavy burdens they are carrying and should look inward instead of outward.
Very cool.
This isn't the place for your feelings. You were, in fact, asked explicitly to not comment. Why the fuck did you think you were entitled to?
Do you have literally any self awareness?
Don't actually answer any of that here. I already know the answer. I think the idea of this place was for it to be a place women could talk about stuff without being dogpiled by subhuman filth, and not need to spemd rhe entire conversation explaining incredibly basic ehit to 'people' who are determined to not understand it.
Tell you what, edit that comment with a link to an explanation of all your feelings. Promise I'll be nice.
If it makes you feel any better, it's actually a result of psychological warfare in a post-mutual destruction world.
too bad, raise those numbers more with your whining
Note to the men reading this, you can upvote comments you agree with freely.
Remember, the comment section on every internet post about feminism only goes to show, um, how provocative this kind of rhetoric is.
I hope they cut up their feet real bad.
The-the white people?
I’m sure you can dedogwhistle the post without me holding your hand.
Or I can feign shock again and you can misunderstand again in order to attempt to argue with someone on the internet!
Or you can speak plainly in an international forum who may well have people who don't share your culture and thus don't share your particular slang, you cubit.
I’m not from anywhere you’d recognize. English is my third language. Don’t assume.
Also, we make our own culture here.
"Don't assume" says the person who assumed I wouldn't know a place you came from.
Yeah, buh-bye.
May they step barefoot on many legos!
I wish the solution to racism wasn't just racism towards the people doing it. The only way to stop racism is to stop being racist.
This isn't racist. This statement isn't about decent human beings. If someone is offended by it, maybe they need to be less ignorant or maybe they aren't decent.
When a man makes fun of a woman for something seemingly inherent to a woman, the response isn't to attack all men. That's being sexist to defeat sexism.
When a white person makes fun of a black person for something seemingly inherent to black people, the response shouldn't be to attack all white people. That's being racist to defeat racism.
It is a flawed response as it will always be as equally incorrect as the initial remark. It doesn't fix the thing you take issue with, it just further deepens the line between groups.
Maybe, but in the tweet, did soph say "white men" or "all white men"?
There are times when hurt people do call out all men in their wording, which isn't accurate to say, but there seem to be more times when the language is just ambiguous or overtly does not call out all the people of a group and the #notallmen people read into things and then get angry on the internet.
But beyond even that, I sort of just think social media was a mistake. #notallmen wasn't a thing in the past because women vented in person to each other, or to male allies they trusted enough about other men. Women could express their feelings, and a portion of men wouldn't get angry due to feeling as though they were personally called out. Everything about Twitter from its limited character counts precluding context and people feeling like they can say any horrible thing to each other without consequence has regressed us as a species.
The very beginning. "If white men are so afraid" is the antithesis of her latter point which is "white men aren't afraid" and insinuates they don't stop talking or are generally just more abundant. Even if it's not directly insulting, it's a generalization based on race (and sex) that pushes away people who happen to be white and male but also feel their voice doesn't matter.
I'm just trying to be helpful in pointing out that it's ineffective to become the monster you're fighting. I'd like racism, sexism, all of it to be extinguished and I think things even like the community rule of "only women can post" is severely detrimental to meaningful change. We must choose our responses more carefully so as not to grant the assumption that black and white are opposites no more than men and women are opposites.
There's far too much division online that doesn't exist nearly as much when we step away. We need to be reminded of that more often.
Make the point that individuals are the ones who are racist, not the demographic. People aren't racist/sexist because they're white/male, so making a claim against white/male people is ineffective. However, individuals who identify as Nazis, are racist, because the group itself is racist.
It leaves less room for "oh they're just racist misandrists targeting us" by reframing what you're saying. The critique isn't the problem but the manner in dispensing it which gives the opposition fuel to "uno reverse" the situation.
She insinuated she hears a lot of white men and made no attempt to specify what kinds of white men, only that she hears them often. Generalizing isn't bad in itself, but targeting characteristics that can't be changed for the sake of a counterpoint, is. Someone can't choose to be a man or white, so rather than allow the opposition to make it about either, reframe it into what it is. Racism, sexism, etc.
It seems pedantic but you don't want to appear to be the enemy they paint you as. You don't want to use the language they'll benefit from, no matter how right you are.
Exactly.
BTW, third rule of this community:
Can't even be a hateful bigot at work
You wouldn't be walking on eggshells if you didn't want to say shit that'd upset people
Look, i just think we should exterminate the brutes and enslave every category of person that doesnt include me. Why do you people need to be so god damn sensitive? Cant even say a ten minute long string of slurs in public anymore, for ****** ****** **** **** fucking ******'s sake.
Yep!
The snowflakes told me i shouldn't say the n word, now my cheeks are all wet and my nose won't stop runnibg. They're all so sensitive and fragile it makes me sick, im shaking so much i cant even tie this anger noose i was going to use to kill myself out of anger. Their sensitivity hurts me so much; it's not fair.
I have a right to oppress other groups! I'm being persecuted whhhyyy meeeeeeeee???
Telling me i can't have chattel slaves means you hate freedom. Why do you hate freedom?
I mean... Good? We nowadays have these things called "societal norms", which means everyone needs to think before they open their big stupid mouths.
You know what real pros do? They were already aware of this, and were already doing this.
If you have to be taught these lessons now, well, take it as a learning opportunity. Expand your horizons. Enhance your compassion.
Legit, i read this out to the hubs (a white male) and his response was a bewildered "what the fuck are they doing that they have to be afraid??"
Why - did they hear people had eggshells they don't want walked on?
At least my women coworkers in Ottawa were straight-up and in my face with their racism.
BFH: talking about Chinese people You know that they just don't value life like we do.
Everybody Else: looks at me sitting at the same damned table
BFH: Oh not you Dianne! We all know you're one of the good ones.
I'm better equipped to deal with that kind of naked aggression than I am at the kind that's quiet and sullen when I'm around but that pipes up when I'm out of the room.
I had to move half-way around the planet to get in touch with the half of my heritage that I'd drowned out (to the point of being a total banana) to even understand just how toxic it is to be a "visible minority" (and that term by itself now raises a huge number of red flags for me!) in Canada. So now I push back. Hard.
Speaking as the whitest bitch on the planet, and most generally compassionate person in my immediate family: i do not value 'life' literally at all, and i challenge anyone to give me a non-mystical explanation that's valuable in itself, and not just 'because it's a thing i am and im really clutching at straws to feel special and important'.
So now you can tell them that the most anti human life-devaluing bitch you ever met was white as fuck. And that i called you 'unrefrigerated meat'.
Edit: Malthus. Von misis. Schlafly. Kissenger. Everyone involved with developing the doctrine of MAD.
The only fear is that my fellow blue collar white workers to find out I'm not as fascist or pedo-loving as they are.
Every time I see your username I drool, vanilla pudding fudge sounds like heaven in my mouth
People dig it waaay more than I thought lol.
I saw Wreck it Ralph and then this username happened.
Ahh, so white men are finally developing some social awareness. That's excellent news, thank you for sharing, Fox.
Depends what they're on eggshells about. I know the implication of how it's worded in the screenshot, but I'm going to be pedantic and say it depends. Boss cranky because of personal problems? Nah. They want to make racist jokes constantly? Yeah. Quit it.
I'm really looking forward coming back to this community tomorrow, with the knowledge that many deeply unpleasant people have been banned and will not be around anymore.
The moderators of this community do an exquisite job. Rules are enforced, but with kindness. All rule breaking is treated as an honest mistake, unless proven otherwise.
Even though this thread is filled with vitriol, there is no censorship. No comments were removed by moderators. Bans are not applied retroactively.
Thanks so much for the work you do for this community! Keep it up! ❤️❤️❤️
Thanks Hilde, I really appreciate it. We're blessed to have some brilliant people here, which makes the job a lot easier!
Don’t take the rage bait
Gotta love a victim complex. So attractive. 🙄
I wonder if the Fox News thing was from before or after compliance task forces started confiscating posters from the workplace that had sayings like "Spread Kindness Everywhere" bc it promotes harmful DEI?
Bc I feel like even if that had ever been true, it really just doesn't hit the same these days when everybody has to walk on eggshells as they learn what all was included in diversity, equity, and inclusion.
Oh, you're the first in your family to go to college? You think men can be nurses too? You think it was kind of fucked up they just fired Carol after 30 yrs bc she had cancer and would need to take leave? You best shut your mouth with that woke bullshit.
"I'm a hardcore racist and misogynist and I'm pissed I can't express these views at work anymore." - author.
I can assure you in the construction industry they are saying and doing every little thing they want without any consequences bless their hearts
Only brown eggs.
White dude here, in the US, currently sitting at work. (Sorry to disobey the “women only community” request, but I hope this is constructive and maybe even reaches some angry guy lurking.)
And I’m walking on fuckin’ sunshine over here because I’m nice to people and I got myself out of the Conservatism Spectrum Disorder shit that I was born into.
It’s funny how things work…
Being white? Fine. I’ve never been attacked for it, even by people who have very much the opposite of white privilege.
Being a dude? Also working out well. I have a hell of a sex drive for a middle aged dad-bodder, and of course there are attractive people at work, yet I have managed to not stalk or grab or attack or cat call anybody. (the exception for some of those is my wife, in a good way)
There are a whole lot of bad men out there. Being a good one requires recognizing that. If you’re already resisting that concept then you’re already way off track because we’re talking about half of humanity.
And if you feel like you’re walking on eggshells, yeah maybe it’s some other toxic person’s fault, but make sure to take a long hard look at yourself too. That feeling of self-consciousness or embarrassment might be you starting to get it.
"Request?" Dude. Read the rules.
I should have sent a PM, but I want others to see this since you're getting upvoted, and the mods here are courteous: do not treat a community's #1 rule as a 'request' just because that rule says 'women only'. I would never, ever comment here other than to point out the hypocrisy of such a violation.
The rules are printed many times, very visibly and unambiguously.
You want to discuss? You can make a post in some other community, linking this one.
Sent from an 'angry guy lurking': Your comment, disrespecting a space like this, makes me feel far worse. You make me feel self-consciousness, like I'm walking on eggshells.
(Apologies, mods, please community ban me if that seems warranted).
I am mod and I absolutely never ban supportive people or delete supportive comments. We take a lot of manosphere shit here, and we all really do appreciate the men that have our backs. Obviously don't comment again, but I honestly am grateful for you
I get that you think you're being an ally here by defending us.
But what kind of ally directly disrespects their counterpart by ignoring the rules because they're angry? What kind of ally then does this twice in the same thread after someone points it out? How are you being an "ally" by assuming we poor little weak women can't handle our own defence?
The rule here is very clearly written:
It boils down to two words: "women only". Which one didn't you understand when you decided to be exactly like the men you're castigating?
Seems like "rules for thee but not for me" if you think it's okay for you to break the rules to comment but not @Zink.
Agreed. Was an angry impulse, sorry (and I should have PM'd him).
you are still breaking the rule. This again demonstrates that you think it's okay to comment if it is "meta" somehow.
Hey, I get where you're coming from, especially since everything calmed down before I checked the reply.
However, I want you to consider where I came from. Like literally what led me here. It was from my "All" feed. I don't really recognize the name of this community, so it's probably either my first time interacting with a post here, or I've interacted with the community in the past but was also ignorant of where the posts were coming from.
So when I referred to the "request," it wasn't because I read the rules and subscribed and then came in to plead that I get special rules. It was because I was close to tapping "Post" and I saw some caption text asking for only women to reply. That's why I said anything.
One of the things that keeps me coming back to Lemmy every single day is being able to hear the direct words of people very different from me without having to go through algorithms and corporate filters. When it comes to communities on here dedicated to a certain demographic or to marginalized groups, it's usually pretty clearly "X group and allies" because it's more about having a safe space and less about exclusion or gatekeeping. And it seems like the decent folks here are no different!
And I'm not accusing you of the exclusion/gatekeeping stuff. I get that it was just a rush of anger with my wording and with you actually knowing the community rules, etc. But hey now thanks to this I'm going to subscribe and follow this community. And maybe I'll break the letter of the law and comment again, but I'll probably follow the spirit of the law 99% of the time. :)
Thanks Zink, but if you comment again I'll ban you. I don't like to ban people who are being supportive, but you're knowingly breaking the rules so I'll have to.
Zink thanks so much for popping by! As you mentioned we are women only, so please don't comment again, thanks for understanding 😊
As a white man on the work I am indeed afraid to speak freely about breadcrumb salary, micromanagement and unrealistic deadlines.
Hey cub thanks for popping in! We are women only so please don't comment again 🥰
Oh my, I know about this space, but didn't see where I am actually. Leaving. Sorry
It's fine no problem at all and I really appreciate your respectful comment. Have a good night!
I don't think it's that bad anymore, but there definitely was a time during the late 2010s where the man-hating got a bit too much in my opinion. Maybe I was just exposed to it more due being in an industry that attracts a lot of hyper idealistic people who are oddly comfortable being very antagonistic toward white men especially. According to my boyfriend, he hasn't really seen or experienced any of the behavior I was witnessing evolving over the years but he is also not really part of "my world" so to speak.
I think it very much depend on what environment you're in. Just like there has been a lot of focus on women harassed at their male dominated workplace. It's definitely real and they definitely have experienced that, but it doesn't mean it is a 100% universal experience. I personally haven't experienced harassment from men in the workplace, but there definitely are women out there who haven't been so lucky. It really comes down to what the work culture is and whether it is built on mutual respect or bully-like hierarchies. The latter is the type of work environment I will avoid like the plague until I die.
Anyway, I am sure that there are white men out there who feel antagonized at work, but it's not universal and it is most likely in very specific areas where the work culture adheres to the most extreme fringes of leftwing ideology. Could also be in the opposite of that if the white man doesn't live up to whatever they think makes a man a man in the extreme rightwing workplaces these days.
As someone who identified as a man during that time, I think it did. I distinctly remember someone saying "kill all men" a lot during that era. There was another that bothered me, but it felt more like she'd had a bad string of romantic partners and would say "men are trash", but it always felt targeted more towards bad men. Either way, the second never really made me uncomfortable. Or at least not in the same way.
I find it odd that during a time period when things (at least in the US) are leaning more and more right that now is the time men feel like they need to walk on egg shells.
The number of goofy shit I witnessed and at times was subjected to as well because I'm white, yeah. People acted like all that shit on social media never happened irl, but in very specific circles, it 100% did.
That said, I fully agree with you that things flipped when trump got into office the second time.
I just can't wait for a timeline where it doesn't have to flip-flop between two extremes and we can just coexist. Call me naive, but I do believe that things will eventually even themselves out and we can take the good developments from the 2010s and apply them in a less extreme way moving forward. Whatever positive we will be able to find from this second round of Trump, I hope we can apply that too. Mainly how not to run a country and how not to handle geopolitics.
It will probably take me a few decades before I will forgive America for allowing a president to threaten to annex part og my country's territory as well as intimidating and belittling Zelenskyj on world wide TV.
I think what we're seeing is different work environments and different subcultures. The experience is not universal between, say, rural vs. inner-city; between left- and right- leaning areas; in different companies. A man might need to "walk on egg-shells" if, say, he's working in a queer arts club in new york, where "walking on egg-shells" might mean e.g. he could get fired for opining that the phrase "toxic masculinity" is sexist. But this won't really resonate with, say, a black woman working at mcdonald's in texas who overhears her male coworkers say racist and sexist shit all the time.
As a white man I find walking on eggshells to have an extreme rejuvenating effect on my skin, making my feet feel soft, refreshed, and ready to take whatever the night has to offer.
Haha thanks enthusiasm! We are trans inclusive women only, so please don't comment again thanks for understanding 😊
Fuck off with this bullshit! I'm white and bald with a beard. I'm doing just fine. The trick is being on the correct side.
Love this
Ironically here white men are banned for speaking freely.
I'm not complaining, just pointing out an irony. Besides that, being banned for speaking out against sexism is a good thing for me.
Hi starman thanks so much for popping in! As you've knowingly broken the rules several times I have had to ban you. Hope you understand ❤️
It would only be ironic if the women of Lemmy were the most powerful people on the platform and used that power to silence men across the website. As it stands, women are a superminority on the fediverse, and men have the numbers to run roughshod on these communities and effectively prevent them from being spaces where women communicate with each other. This is an ongoing concern on c/witchesvspatriarchy, where thread after thread gets derailed from its original purpose by men. The goal isn't to censor you so much as defend ourselves. So it's not ironic.
Especially since c/menslib could make its community men-only and you wouldn't hear any complaining from me.
You're not speaking freely, dippy. You're violating community rules
It's not "white men" you're not special. It's all men
Im a man.
No we dont walk on eggshells. I walk on shoes.
Just one question to you women here. If you are trying to understand how men feel, wouldnt it be better to allow us in the community?
I dont think you will gain much insights talking about us rather than to us.
Thanks so much for your interest in our community! Don't worry we have the rest of lemmy to hear how men feel. We are women only so I've had to ban you, and wish you all the best ❤️
I like how this guy thought we don't know exactly how men feel or that we need any additional insight on top of just being bombarded with their opinions and world views at every possible angle.
Seriously, they must have no idea how many men use their partner are their sole emotional outlet.
We hear everything. Pillow talk gets pretty deep, possibly because a lot of men feel a comfort from a loving partner that they receive nowhere else. We hear their worries, their traumas, their insecurities. We understand and sympathize with men's issues a lot more than men seem to realize.
Also, to the male lurkers: thank you for not commenting. I know it's gotta be hard to have to hold back, but we appreciate it.
The source claiming men are walking on eggshells is literally fox news and you still try and pull the "you women" card
Absolute clown.
Exactly what I wanted to say.
Troll baiting men will never help anyone.
It feels good, but these posts exist to divide.
I speak too freely at work.
Need doesn't enter into it
With all due respect, I do not believe this should be allowed, should it?
Terrible when men do this, no better when done by women
Gotta love this take on "shitting on".
You: "Endure" mild criticism of broadcasting your point of view 24×7 in every conceivable locale (to the point you're broadcasting it now in a group explicitly asking you not to do it).
We: Endure non-stop sexist comments, sexual advances, sexual assaults and, upon suggesting that perhaps this is not such a good idea, get dog-piled by men with hurt fee-fees, get doxxed, get threats of active sexual assault, and in extreme cases take beatings and even get murdered.
We are not the same. Our concerns are not the same. Don't be a putz and pretend they are.
Hey, I am genuinely sympathetic to your concerns, and there's no need to make it an attack. Moreover, I'm not supportive of people saying anything without regards of how it affects others - I genuinely despise people doing what you describe.
I'm only calling for basic ethics while you're at it - it's never a good idea to go after a certain extremely wide and diverse group of people (white men, in this case, but can be any other) and then restrict them from setting the record straight. Everyone has the right to stand up for themselves.
Without it, we get violent echo chambers that get more and more detached from reality, and also anger those that are targeted to no benefit, which is antithetical to a productive change.
Think of the manosphere bullshit that goes extremely violent, has absolutely nothing of valid substance and drowns any female voices. This is it. This is what you get over time if you ignore the other side.
And this is why male voices are going to spring up here - and women are gonna keep rightfully attacking the manosphere. No one needs the escalation of bullshit and angering that happens with it.
It's an intellectual exercise for you. It's reality for us
If you want to play with ethics the first fucking lesson you need to learn is they are not a bludgeon to beat people with on the internet claiming "I Am Morally Superior"
I am not, and it's not meant to be a lesson or exercise.
I'm saying this kind of violation, however it may be a manifestation of experience and lived emotions, may end up exacerbating the problem. Also, the lived experiences of harassment, abuse and manipulations are by no means exclusive to women, as many men will subscribe to. Still, generalizing it to women or men being bad would be a terrible and unproductive idea.
It can lead followers astray and set others against them, leading to useless kind of radicalization that leaves one side angry and with a lost sight of the issue, and the other repulsed and not set to participate and help build something better.
This is what happened to radicals of both sides. No one on the other side listens to them anymore. Radical feminist became a slur, despite the reasonable origins, and masculism's image has shifted from a movement for equality focused on men's part to mostly manosphere shitheads going for patriarchy that hurts everybody. Everyone's yelling, nothing productive gets done.
With all that said, I am genuinely sorry for what you experience, I have no intent to belittle it, and I do not allow men around me to behave the way you describe. This must be eliminated, and this is a big issue and danger still persisting in modern society.
Really not here to watch you furiously masturbate in endless paragraphs
Oh well, I knew it would end there.
so wait,
But you still felt we absolutely had to hear you going on drawing false conclusion after false conclusion, pompously waffling and lecturing.
The hide on you.
Well we could just chase you off with horrifically abusive commentary, doxxing, rape threats and the usual methods but it seemed like too much work.
What I said is not in support of that, and I have to make it clear.
What you describe is criminal activity, and it should be so.
Lol. Lmfao. Hahahahaha
Have you considered the health benefits of eating 10k calories a day, then chasing the dragon off to dreamland every night?
Because i have.
I'm a man, but lemmy should add a way to block every single user in a community so we can avoid seeing each others posts alltogether, im doing it manually off the posts but its a hassle
anyone joining a public group that silenced ppl outside their while pushing out their content publically is someone who I dont need to talk to, please see my comment and block me thank you
Fucking christ, what a reaction to "This is women talking"
Thanks dil as requested I've banned you, have a lovely night 🌙
I really love how you handled all of this, lovely work
Thank Caitlynn that's really kind of you
The irony. I'm a man feel free to ban me
Hi Hikermick thanks so much for popping by! We are women only so please don't comment again thanks for understanding 🥰
I understand
Thanks Hikermick all the best