10000 hours to become an expert, avg person poops for ~12 minutes a day. It would take 137 years to master.
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51 replies
Thankfully my average time is about 30min. So I'll reach that 10k when I'm about 55!
No way it's only 12 minutes a day. On average!?
Depending on the day I'm in and out in like 4 minutes or so. What are you eating that takes an entire sitcom without commercials to come out???
I mean, not every time, but I'm also not speedrunning it. Thats my time to relax, meditate, contemplate the universe. And let my flower bloom slowly and surely.
Hate the mental image.
Yeah, that hurt me.
Pooping takes like a minute, browsing my emails and brainrot takes 29 minutes minimum
Sometimes, during longer sessions, I involuntarily think of that one old reddit story about a guy who put some hair removal chemical on his testicles then started watching some show while he waited for the chemical to work. Subsequently he got absorbed in the show long enough for the chemical to do its thing and far too much more. (In case you're not familiar with the anecdote, he had to go to the ER but the member in question was apparently still functional if visually altered after a recovery period.)
I've never used that kind of ointment on my groin or anywhere else. However, sometimes when I start to get absorbed in some media whilst pantsless, my general anxiety makes me double check that I didn't apply something for the first time ever, then forget about it.
Don't forget 10 minutes of making sure no more doodies
Four minutes or so 3 times a day would be 12 minutes. Some people go once a day others many. Saying you're in and out in 4 minutes shows nothing.
3 times a day?
21 times a week! Good gracious!
Bricks mostly.
Maybe they aren't including the time spent scrolling. It's just the sphincter flexing moments that count.
Uhhhhhhh how big are your poops? 12 minutes of shincter flexing A DAY?
Based on your username, I can declare you an expert on the subject matter.
Oh. They're not Adam. They're Adam's wingman.
Adam is too busy getting ass to waste time posting.
Adam sounds like a pretty cool dude. We should all strive to post less and eat more ass.
Thanks bud. I'm just doing what I can.
12 minutes at a time, 3 times a day.
Unless I'm at work.
40 minutes per day 4 times between 5:00a-1:30p
3 times a day? You should get checked for fructose intolerance.
Generally, anything from 3 times a day to once every 3 days is considered the range of normal.
Could be. Seems every medical institution has different numbers, NHS says 3 times a day to 3 times a week.
My buddy was going pretty often, little wet, little dry, all over the place, a little gassy. 3-4 times a day for years. Found out he was fructose intolerant. One exclusion diet later and he's in the one a day club.
This is a very appropriate thread to wish you a happy cake day!
[Sing in the voice of Elmo]
My boss makes a dollar
I make a dime
That is why I poop on company time.
UK version:
My supervisor makes a pound.
I make a pence
That is why I shit at the companies expense.
Hey I read it on they internet, it must be true.
The first search said 6m so I dug more.
I'm at least a half hour, but it's because I'm escaping the kids.
12 minutes … and per day? How much are you people shitting?
Not enough if I want to master it in my lifetime.
Moar fiber!
When do you think I browse the feds
Like, 40 mins a day? It all depends on the person, someone with IBS can go to the toilet 4 - 5 times in the morning for instance. I think I already mastered shitting tbh
I mean sure, if you have a condition. But it seems a quite a lot for the average person.
IBS really skews the mean. We gotta find the median.
Yeah I don't think I've ever taken a 12 minute poop in my life.
It takes me longer to wipe than poop. But to each their own.
Bidet masterrace!
You know, I want one. But it appears the cheap ones are bad and the good ones are super fucking expensive
There's always a bucket, or squeezy bottle or garden hose for you in these dark brown times.
or toilet paper, for us rubes. :)
That's why we still strain when we poo. It's because we're all still noobs.
Edit: typo
i have what one might call 'a natural talent' for shit
reviews your overall life
No lies detected.
Don't you dare take my dream away from me!!
I WILL be a master pooper one day! Just you wait they'll be saying "man that dude Asafum, now there's a guy who can poop!"
You can poop up to 10 times more if you also spout bullshit from your mouth. There are many politicians that are clearly masters.
Bring a phone to the toilet with you and you could considerably shorten the time.
That's no longer pooping though. that's enshit...er..tian...ment... something
Get your sphincter checked
What about a plaid sphincter? Striped?