White smoke appears from Sistine Chapel chimney, indicating a new pope has been elected
https://www.straitstimes.com/world/europe/white-smoke-appears-from-sistine-chapel-chimney-indicating-a-new-pope-has-been-electedOpen linkView original on lemm.ee205
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I don't care for Christianity, but god I'd love it to see a black pope emerge, just to see the White Power writhes and scream.
Those white power redneck types are all protestants (baptists, or some other evangelical wingnut strain) and most of them have a vehement anti-Catholic streak. A black pope would just confirm to them whatever-the-hell conspiracy shit they already believe about the Catholic church, so it'd more or less just be spitting on a forest fire anyways.
Not that the Vatican shouldn't do it anyway, though.
I'd say most of them are protestants, but there's been a trend of a certain type of far-right "RETVRN TO TRADITION" wingnuts converting and becoming hardline tradcaths in the last decade or so. Those people absolutely would seethe over a black pope.
I loved the twist ending in Conclave.
Please, do not reply with spoilers.
EDIT: I did this to myself.
romans kill jesus
If someone drops into St. Peter's Square with a parachute, I win $3,000.
Nazis and KKK members already hate Catholics.
I was really hoping for turkson
Pope Trump would be more likely
I just learned that there is a Cardinal Pizzaballa from Italy that is on the short list of expected potential popes. On name alone, I hope he wins. I know he won't be called Pope Pizzaballa, but in my heart that is what he'd be known as, spoken in the most Super Mario type accent imaginable
Edit: Sorry, not sorry, I couldn't help myself, you who are now perusing this thread have to see it as well
As far as I'm aware there is no rule he can't pick his own name as his pope name, should he want to be cool.
They love their ancient traditions, some of which significantly predate Christianity.
Pope Pizzaballs
Pizza the Pope
Should have photoshopped on the hat
I really wanted to but I'm on mobile.
Same
Edit: I became the change I wanted to see in the world
I hope your effort takes off and I see this image on the news one day.
This is my favorite comment on this thread
But you do have to pronounce it in Italian so it’ll probably be Papa Pizzaballahs.
Poopoopeepeepizzaballs
Is that an official campaign poster?
Time to deliver a pizza ball! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxOkeLQohC0
In Italian or Latin, it would be “Papa Pizzaballa”.
I legitimately thought they were joking when they mentioned the name on TV just now.
I know its pronounced Pizzaballa, but in my head it’s Pizza (techno air horns) BAWWWWWLAH!
This is going to be a tough conversation when they call. The farm takes up most of my day and at night I like a cup of tea, I might not be able to devote myself full time to being Pope.
Edit: that was easier than I thought it would be. They called and I told them straight up I didn't have time to be pope. They said they figured I would turn them down so they had a guy from Chicago as a back up.
I hope to be co-Pope to help the Pope cope.
If they pick a dope, you’ll need to help the dope pope cope as a co-pope.
We can only hope.
I’d offer help to cope but I’m at the end of my rope.
So is the end of your rope a nope to the co-co-dope cope pope hope?
Myope co-pope use scope and spot new pope mope, cope with dope, and elope.
And if he practiced boxing at some point, he should know how to “rope a dope”.
I can confirm this is true. Word is they're pretty disappointed.
Yeah! The world's largest cult has a new guru!
The world's largest religious denomination is Sunni Islam with 22.39% of the world's population (as of 2020). Catholic Christianity comes in a distant second with 15.88%.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religious_denomination
Too many cults to keep track of, they are all brainrot
Sunni day, pushin’ the clouds away…. o/~
Who's their leader?
What tariffs will Trump declare when he finds out it's not him??
Trump taxing the Church? That's a funny thought.
100% tariff on indulgences.
“I declare a 100% tariff on all absolutions coming from the Vatican…”
Doesn't even need tariffs. Could just take away their tax exemption.
A new head pedofile has been chosen.
Is this like Publisher's Clearing House? Will people show up at my door with balloons and big novelty hat to tell me I won?
I believe that's more of a Dalai Lama thing.
That seems relatively fast but I honestly can't be assed to research Catholic bureaucratic history.
alternate theory: The Pope Smokes Dope
https://youtu.be/cAvXnBgJMdM
No no. Just means they require a new set of alter boys.
Edit: they picked the guy that didn’t do anything about abuse claims. Classic
You know they used ChatGPT to pick this new dude.
Haven't you heard? The cardinals are raw dogging it in there. https://nypost.com/2025/05/07/world-news/cbs-anchor-bizarrely-says-cardinals-are-raw-dogging-the-conclave-on-live-tv/
Most credible NY Post reporting.
Downvotes for that? Must have been some triggered pre-finger-blasted altered boys.