Why dating is hard
Edit: because a few comments make me worry that some are taking this seriously - this meme is a play on the type of hopeless dating posts you might find in less healthy corners of the internet. The joke is a suggestion that the real problem is that one man in the image has some sort of arrow-attracting superpower.
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I love those edits
Too late. He was already immortal.
Is this the Lord Ruler? Thought he was supposed to look a little older, tho not much.
That's the thing with the Lord Ruler, he looks however old he wants to look
“In doing this, you’ve awakened my dormant power. Convenient but inconsistent tissue regeneration!”
Silco ?
now THIS is a proper repurposing of that stupid incel diagram! xD
So what you're saying is to go to an archery field to find a woman! I've been doing it wrong the whole time!
You might not get hit on but you will get hit
They definitely got the point
They definitely got.. the point
https://youtu.be/qpaue3Jhn1o
Fair warning, the naked fat guy with the bow and arrow is not Cupid. He is just an exhibitionist. An arrow to the heart will NOT make you fall in love.
To be fair, I've never talked to anyone whose been properly shot in the heart and didn't go on to quickly find love. Makes you think..
After chatting her up very well, she'll miss you. But her aim will get better.
So a possible answer is to live as a hermit in the middle of nowhere. And if a woman appears for some reason, she will have no choice but your long bearded, long matted haired, musk scented, disheveled, gaunt self as a possible mate.
Ah, the actual 'last possible mate in the world' strategy.
We must procreate for thr human species!
lol
I know it’s a joke, but I feel like to be fair to both genders, each man here should arrows pointing to every woman.
The original image, and your extension, are an emergent behavior as a result of The Algorithm - due to "scarcity", Player B (men) is (are) encouraged to roll the dice as frequently as possible.
This whole dynamic is real, results in negative interactions for both players, and is intentionally set up by the apps to maintain engagement and extract as much money via pay-to-play advantages as possible. Dating apps are rigged to give men and women bad experiences so they (largely men) become desperate enough to pay $25 a month or whatever to have an unfair advantage.
The internet (and other players!) likes to hate the players, not the game, and the only "comfort" many young men have is Tate and Co.
It gets worse, as the engagement mechanic populates the apps with a particular kind of guy who is obnoxiously aggressive, persistent, and convinced that this is a game they can brute force with time/money. So women end up being introduced to a string of guys who believe they've "won" a date by "beating" the game while women are left fishing for profiles that don't look completely gross or insane.
And that's before you get into end-users who are straight up escorts or pimps or predators, fully internalizing the idea that site participants are just resources to extract.
It isn't merely about giving people a bad experience, but to give them a cheap thrill that keeps them coming back to the apps without ever finding a fulfilling relationship that would render the website superfluous.
Tate on one side and Estee Williams on the other. Men are told to treat women like a commodity - interchangeable, disposable, and ultimately hostile to your personal interests - that you rent out when you've accrued enough surplus wealth. Women are told to embrace submissiveness, obsess over superficial appearance, and pursue men based entirely on their socio-economic status in pursuit of the same kind of passive incomes that Tate is selling.
These conservative icons put men and women into an inherent contradictory position, with the idea of two people coming together as collaborators (much less romantic partners) is fully alien. You're purchasing a man's income with your looks. He's purchasing your looks with his hustle-money. You're both purchasing the other's status, with an eye towards a higher rung on the ladder. Neither one of sees the other as a life partner.
The commodification of our most base needs, such as romantic relationships, is truly troubling. So much unrest because things like food, shelter, and reproduction are paywalled. Makes the population more vulnerable to fascist ideals.
War + Poverty is a consistent recipe for fascism
with some exceptions... the abnormally skinny man has an unhealthy fixation on fat women, but its not love and anyone will do, and a few on each side are gay, some aren't interested in anyone at all, some only interested in themselves, etc
It'd be roughly mirrored
Each genders experiences on dating sites suggest otherwise.
That's due to large demographic disparities, in the physical world it works like I said. Also it's a meme.
This is absolutely how online dating goes. There have been studies that show women always go for the most attractive guys on the site, despite whatever BS they might claim.
Real life, not necessarily.
There was a blog by the creator of OKcupid, which was available on the site, that laid all this out pretty clearly. Something like 80% of the women were after 20% of the men, or perhaps it was even worse than that.
Women also, on average, rated men something like 1.5/5, whereas the average for men rating women was almost exactly 3/5.
It was a pretty depressing read actually.
You have to also look at the fact that men outnumber women on the app overall. It's about 65% men, so women are going to have a bigger pool to reject from. And while it is true that women rate men less attractive, they also put less value on their apperence overall as a factor in dating. It also came out that this was based off of first glance only with no review of the profiles attached to them and, when looking at overall trends, it's more even, (outside of men tending to like young women regardless of their age).
I think the okcupid data also went on about how certain races get more or less attention as well. At the end of the day, both sides can be picky. I think people like to push that data to help with the "80/20" idea to help push this idea that men are now being unfairly judged in comparison to women to help with the gender war narrative.
Edit: Just wanted to add that I don't think that means dating isn't hard for men, but I just don't believe dating websites to be a reflection of real life.
The racial data was also fascinating, Asian men and black women were shit outta luck, from memory.
This says more about how women are socially pressured to wear make up, dress well, wax, and de-age themselves or risk being labeled as 'unwomanly' or become irrelevant.
How many men do you know feel pressured to put the same effort into their appearances as the average woman does?
And don't tell me how working out counts. One, there are zero health benefits to putting on make up. Two, women are incessantly reminded about losing weight rather than just be healthy whether it's from the media, advertisements, or just people using 'fat' as an insult especially for middle aged women.
How often do you hear old women being complimented on their appearances compared to old men? Forget about appearances, how often are they relevant in conversations? Invisible Woman Syndrome is almost like a super power.
This is like the opposite of when people complain that when ever anyone tries to talk about women issues, men have to suddenly make it about them. I don’t know why this has to be a zero sum event here.
No, it’s like that irl too. I’m in a dance community and women are routinely all hooking up with the same handful of guys, and then being shocked that they’re not the only one booking up with that guy. It was like that in yoga when I was in yoga too
I should start doing yoga
Have you tried not being unattractive?
And if you insist on being unattractive, then have you tried being rich?
No like I should just start doing yoga. Not trying to rock a codpiece over here.
I just wear the biggest penis gourd I can manage to fit on.
If I do enough yoga, two birds, one stone.
But what's attractive is very subjective especially for women. Yes there are some general things being somewhat fit, decent hygiene, symmetrical proportions but there are plenty of studies that show women find the same man with a wide range of attractiveness vs men who have a much more narrow and agreed upon what is attractive. One thing that's more consistent is appearance of wealth makes men more attractive to most women.
Men are valued for their wealth.
Women are valued for their youth.
It's brutal but that's the general rule of attractiveness.
Men are also valued for their looks. That guy that got a modeling deal right out of prison because women were swooning over him comes to mind.
I see you missed the word "general."
Bah! The slaverunner society's rules get in the way of everything.
They would not be after wealth if it was evenly distributed!
Same for youth I suppose...
I suspect that women have dual mode sexual selection: Either dad material then attractiveness doesn't matter as much as stable personality and material conditions, or someone with attractive exceptional genes. Meanwhile men will only judge by attractiveness but men (including the attractive ones) will still fuck anything.
Basically game theory and the structure of dating apps makes women only be able to select for the first criteria.
Joke's on that guy, all the women on the Internet are really just this guy:
Hehe teen girl squad!
Possums........
If you're an average guy tempted to believe this, allow me, as an average guy who gets plenty of women, to tell you how it works. You are the one with the arrows, but if you don't shoot your shot, out of fear of rejection, you're never going to get what you want. So get out there and start shooting your shot.
Straight up, the best living proof of this I've ever seen was a fifty-odd year old co-worker whose face looked like if you stuck Don Knotts' face in a microwave/centrifuge combination for about 45 seconds. Dude had teeth poking out forward at near right angles. He pulled so much fucking tail, it was a constant problem at work. Incels refuse to believe me when I tell them about it, but, just, shit, idk what you want me to say, this quasi modo ass dude had game, so what's your excuse?
Fucking same, man. Guy I used to work with was 57, alcoholic, had like 3 teeth left, bad attitude, the works. Looked like a man-rat hybrid had been drinking moonshine and gasoline for two centuries. Brought a new woman home from the bars at least once a week. Some of them half his age. I know he wasn't rich either because I'd been to his house before and I occasionally had to lend him some cash, so it's not like he was flexing with money.
I got to actually hear him put the moves on somebody once and I don't remember his opener but I shit you not his winning line was "Yeah I tell ya, I'm hung like a pimple but I've had some good practice with it, wanna come see?" and a little wink and I swear on my ancestors it fucking worked, it's insane, I thought I was having a stroke.
Yeah, same with my dude, he wasn't rich either, but I heard him lay it on thick one time and it was like I was suddenly filming for Nat geo, and I don't mean that in a gross way. It was more like watching a ritual that was completely foreign to me, like I was bearing witness to lost knowledge. He was a supervisor, and I tell you, I never saw him write anyone up ever, but everyone would bend over backwards for him because he was just a super likable dude.
An average guy who shoots his shot is practically already above average. Most don't shoot their shot, or very very timidly with maximum safety
Yep, it's an easy win for the average guy. But most won't do it because they're afraid of rejection.
Or is it because we've been told that women are sick of being hit on all the time?
And thus, we are afraid of rejection.
You're right that women are sick of being hit on all the time. But I'll let you in on a secret: it's not the expression of interest that annoys women, it's when dudes ignore the cues that they're not interested and continue anyway, or can't take no for an answer. Basically, women are sick of guys who don't pay attention to their boundaries and can't take rejection. But I guarantee you, women are just as horny as men, and love getting attention from a man who is aware of their boundaries and who won't push when they express a boundary.
This doesn't make any sense. So we should ignore the cues that they're not interested and take our shot anyway, even though men ignoring signs of disinterest is annoying, and they love getting attention from men who pay heed to their boundaries when the boundary is not wanting our attention? Or should we take no for an answer and handle rejection gracefully by not hitting on them when they're not interested, because that's the proper way to hit on women?
Let me simplify it for you: pay attention to social cues. It's not hard.
So which is it? Pay attention to social cues, or ignore them and take a shot anyway?
That last one is a complete lie. It absolutly is hard. Especially with the complete lack of proper communication skills most women display. Seriously, a lot of women consider "looking at you" maximum flirting effort. Except of course when they aren't and are just randomly looking in your direction.
It's the expression of interest by unattractive people that is annoying. Continuing past cues of disinterest is one of the most unattractive things you can do.
But often the person is perfectly attractive, it's just that the person they are hitting on is not interested and they don't take the hint. For example, as a straight man, I often get hit on by gay men. They're perfectly attractive men, it's just that I don't like men, and it has nothing to do with them being unattractive. I don't mind when a gay man expresses interest as long as he respects me saying that I'm not interested. It's when he continues to push, and ignores my closed body language and short answers, or outright dismisses my "no thanks", that's when it becomes uncomfortable, and that's what women are sick of too.
... did you read my comment? "Continuing past cues of disinterest is one of the most unattractive things you can do."
Behavior is part of attractiveness, it's not only physical.
Pro tip: Become Leonidas
and what, fight in the shade?
I would definitely not want to fight in the sun, so it makes sense to me.
Ah I was gonna say Boromir. :p
What is okcupid like nowadays? I found a partner there like 7 years ago and out of all the dating sites I've tried, it was the best by a good margin.
Oh come on the lack of a stack system was such a positive. I loved how I could look over all profiles around me, see who managed to write more than 10 words about themselves and just send them a message. I guess that system just worked to well, I never felt the need to pay for anything
"Take the ferry from Helsinki and bring me some long drink."
I remember hitting puberty and realizing most of the guys had crushes on the same three or four basic makeup pasted fake ass girls so….sure whatever you say
As a guy I can assure you this isn't true.
Found the femcel
So, you were surprised when boys who were just hitting puberty were interested in the girls who were actually flirting with them??
Or girls who put some effort into their appearance? Fuck those whores trying to look attractive am I right?!
Why so hurt? The point is that it works both ways, that's all. Perhaps you're into more makeup and she finds it fake. It's ok either way.
Because "basic makeup pasted fake ass girls" are also people, they don't deserve any more hate or dislike than anyone else based on this alone. It can not be your type, but the original person talking about this obviously had a relatively intense dislike/resentment.
I'm a guy, and I'm upset at "basic makeup pasted fake girls". I don't know why.
Ass. Don't forget the fake ass.
Yeah! It's not fair that her ass is bigger than mine! Fuck you Jenny!
Even now, I regret rejecting a girl outright because I feel like a jerk.
Nof because there was any chance that would work out.
To make this more accurate for modern dating apps, you should keep all the men, but only have like 3 of the women. Dating apps aren't there to get you a match, they're there to convince you that you will get a match...eventually. The money is in creating a feeling that doesn't reflect reality.
Damn, people just straight-up don't care about the content of an image if they see an opportunity to go on a tangent.
I wonder how ridiculous you have to make the text- paired with a pictograph of a problematic take like the original for this one- before people realize it's not actually repeating the original sentiment or even saying anything at all
The only choice is to be totally out of the dating game so completely that you have no idea what any of this even mean.
Me going about my hermit ways living in the forest without interacting with anyone 😌
Ohhhhh hello very distant neighbor. We do live in the same settings except that I live with my cat.
Hellooo. Hope we can trade some cabbages if the need arises. I've been thinking hard about getting a pet and would like to have a cat as the number one on the list.
Oh you shooooouuuld! Animal's company seem to push me further into hermithood though.
I went heavy handed on potatoes and radishes this year but no cabbage yet. Not too late though, I'll keep some for you if I manage to grow some
That sounds great. I've thought about a getting a rabbit too, but I'm not sure yet.
I managed to have some strawberries which survived long enough and were not bad. But it seems dead now. Still got some herbs like parsley. Herbs are hard to keep 🥲.
Don't blame Boromir for your dry dick, for shame
welcome to everyone joining us from /r/incel (is that still a thing, even?)
my dude if this were to be true we would experience total population collapse
I mean, good meme but no, wouldn't it need to be the inverse to cause this?
good point but I imagined this one guy does not impregnate all of these women but it is of course possible to go full Elon Musk if he thinks he is destined to save humanity
Because men can only get one woman pregnant, as the Bible told me.
if you have the energy to look after 10+ kids be my guest
That's the neat part, I won't be around in six months
It's not really. Worldwide population is still growing. Countries which are simultaneously highly developed and not incentivizing child birth have low birth rates.
That is literally the entirety of the developed world. China as well is/will be now experiencing a rapid population decline as its birth rate drops drastically. The only developed countries with anything close to a sustainable population growth are those that have a lot of immigration, but that isn't a viable fix forever (at some point the countries that are sources of immigrants will become developed themselves and have the same problems), and typically only first generation immigrants have more children than natives.
You said it first. The irony of OPs comment lol.
Children of
MenGuyThis is a depiction of why Kaladin can’t quite save all of Bridge 4 in The Way of Kings.
Came here to say, Strength Before Weakness.
Life before death!
Also why you can't take him out to a bar, storming brighteyes..
well noted this down as my next book thanks
Man why’d you have to bring that up
Ah bere it is, I have scrolled deep enough
Every day this site becomes closer to reddit.
They grow up so fast
You should read the edit.
Ignoring the issue with jokes doesn't help anyone.
Mocking incels doesn't make them better.
It feels good though.
This is reddit behavior.
Every single one of those girls is clearly an arrowhead-repeller. (Men have it so easy.)
Notice how the third woman in line is aiming for the dick.
Poor #4 had to settle for knees.
Settle? We don't kink shame here, sir.
He was just asking for it, look at the way his knees were dressed
ouch, my bones
Dating apps are VEERY superficial. You are better off meeting people in real life.
Sperm retention 😭
It's like electrons.
Oh man, one could supply an entire army with the arrows shot at that guy, I'll tell you hwat.
The reverse reason is also that the pink blobs will receive arrows from all of the blue blobs. Blue blobs just reduce their market value that way.
The fact that dating apps allow you to filter by height and not weight literally says it all
This isn’t true at all. Everywhere you see average guys out there with girls. Yes, attractive people gain attention. But also, average people date.
It’s the reality of dating apps, not real world behavior.
I mean, dating apps are also just "real world behavior", we don't suddenly leave the real world by picking up a phone.
The effect is just much much more pronounced on dating apps because of logistics, you can't get hit on by 100 of the hottest guys in your area in 5 minutes in real life, maybe you get hit on by 20 guys the whole evening. And those 20 guys are a local dating pool, which may not necessarily include the 20 hottest guys out of the whole area, so the hottest one of the 20 may still be average.
I’m trying to figure out how you could think that and my best guess is you’re just not familiar with modern dating apps.
There’s nothing real world about it. Women are overloaded with choice, men like everyone because they’re desperate and the apps prey on this, forcing pay to win strategies on men. It’s a brutal experience and makes you think women are just doing this for validation if you’re a guy, and if you’re a woman you just think men are dogs who would chase anything.
I'm a guy. I'm using dating apps often (poly) and have found multiple people that I'm currently dating. One person I met there just moved in with me a few weeks ago.
These people I found are the most wonderful I ever met. They're kind, self-aware, empathetic and aware of the potential pitfalls of these apps.
I like only women I actually like. I have not paid for it. The women I met aren't doing it for validation.
Yet everything you said is also completely true. But that's simply because dating apps reflect the real world, you get, in a very small percentage, good people actually worth talking to, and a large majority of people only wanting validation or will say anything for quick sex. Just like you get in real life. Most people in real life are also not worth talking to.
I fully concede that the negative aspects of people are enhanced or at least more visible in dating apps. However, that's just it, it's more pronounced, not actually fundamentally different.
It’s the reality of dating apps, not real world behavior.
Dating shouldn't be monetized. Even sending messages often requires a subscription. You'll also notice these dating app companies own several products, like the Match Group. They buy up competitors or spam out the same software under different names with a marketing campaign to try to get people to join. Then they restrict features and charge more to maintain their position. That's without even getting to all the data they collect and sale while also charging you a subscription. Just imagine talking to someone you want to date in real life and having a middle man come up and say, if you want to talk to them you need to give me $20 a month. All the "science" they use to connect people is just bullshit too.
If dating apps worked, they wouldn’t really “work” under capitalism - you’d find someone, cancel the subscription and move on.
The only really exception is if you focus on hookups or polyamory, but het cis women tend to risk a lot more on hookups (at bare minimum pregnancy and side effects related to whatever precautions are being used to prevent it), so they aren’t going to seek them out and they tend to get flooded with low quality messages anyway.
No matter what your age, race, gender, sex, size, you can always find a man willing to put their dick inside your orifices. Grindr works so well because it’s basically just old school cruising culture with extra frills. Match Group uses it’s monopoly to impose a dating culture that doesn’t really match with how het people form relationships.
A Beautiful Mind - Bar Scene John Nash's Equilibrium Game Theory
Damn Windrunners
Most people's problems are shit profiles and bad swiping.
Find/take good photos. I used photofeeler to test my photos and it helped.
Have a decent short bio that has something the girl can bring up. Mine was my hatred of mayo, almost all my matches brought it up as a discussion point. On Bumble it was most often the ice breaker.
Don't swipe right on the 8/9/10s that you have zero chance at. If a girl out of your range has a profile that describes you sure swipe right otherwise don't swipe on girls you have zero shot with. It messes your algorithm up. If you want to fantasize about hot chicks look at porn otherwise be honest about what you bring to the table and swipe in your realistic range. If you're a 3 a 5 should be your 10.
Advice from a decent looking (but def not hot) slightly overweight at times person, who got my fair share of dates, some hookups, and some girlfriends from online dating in a smallish dating pool.
Met my wife randomly through a coworker 🤷♂️.
Most people's problem is they do online dating.
When all your friends are in one circle and all are married and you don't go to bars or the gym it's better than nothing. I enjoyed it for the most part, definitely got laid more often.
In the short stint that I bothered trying to use a dating app I just swiped right on people I was attracted to and seemed compatible based on their bio.
If I wasn't physically attracted to them it wouldn't work anyway so IDK why I'd want to waste my time???
But yeah I gave up not because of the swiping/algo but because in a few cases people misrepresented themselves or were overly vague in their bios. In one case someone swiped right on me but then changed their mind because the reread my bio (read the fucking bio in the first place people) or in one case we had made plans to hook up and so I kind of got busy and stopped messaging them for a few days, they messaged me annoyed that I was not showering them in consistent attention and disconnected.
After that I was like, online dating sucks fuck this, and uninstalled.
This meme ha a terminal case of Poe's Law.
This is some incel level manosphere bullshit recruitment material.
If every incel could get an arrow to the knee, they would be cured
The OG is, this is edited and is made to mock the OG.
this smells like incel
It's because it has that "80/20" energy some like to push. Not so much a complaint on dating overall, only the "women only one six feet, six figures, six inches" narrative.
Buddy, the edit doesn't help. Repeating propaganda or misinformation and saying but this instance is satirical doesn't help. You're still just spreading their talking points for them.
So, women only want men who have magic arrow attracting powers?
Like Cupid's arrow and shooting your shot?
sure, why not.
Which puts this right in the MRA/Incel propaganda category.
Huh? The meme is suggesting that it isn't a hierachy or tiered list but physical proximity attracting th arrows from the other stick figures. Did anyone read the picture??
If that was true wouldn't all the arrows just go straight across?
No because the joke is that one guy has the abnormally powerful gravity well and the guy at the bottom is out of range.
This graph is so wrong in so many ways...
Dating is hard because we live miserable lifes, are very individualized by capitalism, deposit lots of expectations and pities of ourselves into others, and don't treasure (intimate) friendship enough, intergender and intergenerational friendship included.
The "average guy" has poor emotional skills, is depressed, has no real friends and thinks that a girlfriend will be his salvation. The "average guy" needs therapy, friends, needs to learn to listen, to empathise and to show his own vulnerability instead of hiding and pretending to be a rock. That is, learn to take care of himself and to take care of others, and value this as an unavoidable adult skill. The "guy who attracts arrows" probably needs the same, but has a higher sexual capital because of birth lottery.
Focus on making some sense of your own life first and interesting people will start popping out, you will make some friends, and at some point you will mate someone.
Marriage and the nuclear family is a product of the Catholic church teaming up with capitalism. Western history and non-western world is full of extended families and communities. Consider not making it your life goal, it can be disappointing to achieve it.
Sir, this is a Wendy's
what is a Wendy's? edit: i see that it's a USA fast food chain with decreasing international success. Did you mean that it's a local, low quality, fast joke?
This phrase is a meme used when someone goes into serious philosophy in an unserious situation.
It references a scene with someone telling a long expertly phrased opinion to a fast food employee while in the line to order. Not sure which show it comes from, someone mentioned Rick and Morty in another comment.
thank you! :)
Watch Rick and Morty for the reference.
It's from The Office, not Rick & Morty
This was a joke
jokes work on shared assumptions. This joke is political imho, and trying to avoid it saying that "this was a joke" when it doesn't criticize these hetersexist assumptions, for me, it strengthens them.
This graphic is making fun of the man-o-sphere bullshit idea that all women are only attracted to "alpha males," my dude. You've totally missed the mark
No, it's not. It's based on these two things
The latter especially has this widely-misquoted line:
Many people understood it as "80% of women go for 20% of guys", but that's not what it's saying.
If you also look at the first article, it has many graphs which speak for themselves
One might argue the data derived from Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge users who also upload their data to Swipestats.io is unlikely to be representative of the general population
One could argue it's a meme.
Yeah, that was me, a few comments above lmao
Well, I'm happy that this isn't incel shit. And I am happy not to be so exposed to it regularly. To me, it looks way too inside their mental codes, still can't find it funny, but anyway. Thanks for the patience
I agree with you. Some people will see this as confirmation that women all are attracted to the same guy implying the same doesn't happen with men too. It's worth pointing out the opposite is true. Guys of all ages fawn after the 19-24 year old, conventionally attractive women, too.
Which is true. But! Men <30 years old usually are more tolerant in what they accept. They'll take almost any woman 18-30 years, low or high income, fat or skinny, beautiful or ugly, etc.
Women below 30 years age on the other hand often are fixated on 6-6-6 rule (6+ foot height, 6 digits income, 6 pack) which are like the top 1% of the male population. Once they are older and want to 'settle down' they won't get any of these top guys because these guys can cherrypick their women. And then the women are disappointed by the 'left-overs'. I'm not an incel but I can understand why it (sometimes? often?) happens this way.
How to solve this? No idea.
How did couple come together 100 years ago? What did they do different back then?
It could be true, but maybe not. If we are talking about dating, sure. Men are more likely to swipe right on women than the other way around. But how about marriage or longer term relationships? If you were 18, would you be willing to marry a poor, fat, ugly 29-year-old "independent" women who smokes with kids?
Some guys would do that because they know they won't have a chance to get a 'better' woman.
The problem is women and men are different and they treat each other differently.
No man would would push down a young beautiful woman from the edge of a bed. Women notice that and are flattered that they are wanted so much. Honestly women only need not to be obese and the guys will line up. But that's only true for young woman. After 30-35-year-old most women beauty diminish rapidly.
Men on the other hand age visibly slowly. A lot of women still judge them handsome when the guys are already 40 or 50 years old. (There are of course ugly 40 and 50 years old.) But young men are more often only playthings and only the 6-6-6 ones have a good shot a being choosy.
You have a lot of rules in your head that don't exist. Where did you learn these things? As a 40-something man who has lived a lot of life, nothing you're saying here lines up with my observations of reality