Spyke
Poppa_Moreply
lemmy.world

Fuck off lmao. I love these but feel like such an idiot when I laugh at them.

31

Me too. I laughed like a maniac at it and then felt bad I had no one to share the joke with.

7
lemmy.world

A man that has his own place and can cook? Hell I'd be eating there in no time.

92
TexasDrunkreply
lemmy.world

As a dude with his own place who cooks almost every day and generally has some leftover homemade barbecue, it definitely works. I just don't want people over at my house.

76
Pingudiemreply
lemmy.world

As a German dude, 6 bottles of Bavarian beer should count as an invitation to a fine pal auch as you. Do we have a deal xD

20
TexasDrunkreply
lemmy.world

As a drunk, that sounds like a great deal. If you want barbecue you'll have to wait for the weather to clear up. If you don't mind slow cooker pulled pork, I plan on using the leftovers from yesterday to make carnitas tacos with onions, cilantro, and homemade avocado salsa this evening before I go get sloppy drunk at open mic night.

17

Full disclosure: I did something different. Instead of onions and cilantro with an avocado salsa I made pico, added avocado chunks, and plopped that on top of my crisped up pulled pork with extra spices.

But the German with beer didn't drop by so I guess it doesn't matter. I'm very sad now.

7
lemmy.world

He's not wrong. I've brought women home many times by cooking for them. Guys, learn a few easy recipes and you won't regret it. My go to is chicken and broccoli alfredo or carbonara fettuccine.

87
BakerBagelreply
midwest.social

Yet women are repulsed when i invite them back to my place to sample my dick cheese

-30

Try instead camembert, microwaved, topped with cranberry conserve

2
Someonelolreply
lemmy.dbzer0.com

My favorite go to recipe is a lentil soup with spinach, lime, coconut milk, and curry. It's really refreshing, especially after a hard day of carrying bridges across the Shattered Plains.

21
boolyreply
sh.itjust.works

When I was dating that was basically my go-to reason for inviting someone over, but that usually was at least 3-5 dates in. Usually we'd have eaten at cool restaurants where we've had full blown conversations about food, and where I'll have introduced the idea that I'm a great cook who knows what I'm doing, and then at a certain point I'd offer my place for a dinner date, and then show off. And we'd already be alone at my place so it wasn't that much of a stretch for them to stay over.

Honestly I don't know how I would've approached dating if I didn't know how to cook.

9
superkretreply
feddit.org

I tried that once. She ate my Thai curry, made polite conversation, and left.
Still a nice evening, though.

12
Pronellreply
lemmy.world

Try roasting the broccoli first, assuming you don't already.

2
teftreply
lemmy.world

Good suggestion. I usually steam them since I like the florets still crunchy. I'll try roasting next time!

4

It brings out a whole new world of flavor. Truly surprising. Just toss with a little olive oil and bake at 450 degrees for 15 minutes or so.

2
lemmy.world

A girl once asked my friend and I if she could make us an omelette. We'd never met her before, but said yeah why not. We went back to our flat, like 1AM, she made us an omelette and then left. Never saw her again. Bizarre. Good omelette though.

82

When someone offers to make you an omelette, you can expect a reasonably good omelette

9
feddit.org

Then you follow him home, the door opens and another guy shakes your hand and says "Hi, I'm Stu."

33
pawb.social

::: spoiler violent story, cannibalism, gunshot, satire, fbi agent It turns out that "this dude" is a serial killer and cannibal.

Stu, who has been his roommate for the past month, and Angela, who may soon be dead, are both terrified upon realizing this.

The man-eater locks the door, trapping them.

— Well, well, well... look at what we have here! Fresh meat. — he says, menacingly.

Little did the man know that Stu was actually an FBI agent sent to investigate cannibals. Sounds of gunshot are heard from the cannibal's home. Stu saves the day yet again. The end. And everyone clapped, menacingly. :::

4

Used to be a cook and I can't tell you how often "going out is expensive, I could cook you something better" used to work in my youth

30
lemmy.ml

That's kinda creepy. Was his friend's name Bill Cosby?

-26

You reached the end