Spyke
asklemmy·Ask Lemmybyericbomb

Fellow Men, what are some compliments you would like to recieve?

I want to work on complimenting other men more! Specifically my goal is to compliment people on things they clearly worked hard on or put in effort, cause it sucks if you work super hard or care about something and then don't feel like anyone notices.

So I'm going to try and compliment people who:

Have really well done and unique tattoos

Are older but super athletic (It's harder and more thankless, since when you're young and athletic you're usually in sports and get lots of praise. At least that was my experience)

Have super sharp outfits

Have really nice shoes (nice shoes are expensive and keeping them clean is legit hard)

what are other good compliments we should give each other?

EDIT: Oh and I still remember when I got a compliment on what I was getting while grocery shopping. So if I see like real good food in there I'll try to throw out a "looks like you're cooking up some good stuff"

View original on lemmy.world
lemm.ee

Anything. Literally anything. The only time I get noticed is when someone needs something from me. I define my existence by how useful I am to others because that's the only time I've ever felt wanted. I hate it, but it's better than being completely ignored (which has happened many times in my life).

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RBWellsreply
lemmy.world

May I compliment you on your grammar and punctuation?

12

Same. I might as well be invisible until someone needs help with something. I get compliments at work sometimes but it's all related to my being competent enough to do something they need.

5

This is the best response. So apropos to too many of us!

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lemm.ee

There's a story that pops up time and again on forums about men buying time with escorts but not having sex with them. They have dinner or something, then she just listens to him. Idk if it's true or not, I've never heard of it irl. It's like therapy with a hot woman.

1

I like when other men compliment my penis.

Just a causal ’Nice dick bro’ when I’m wearing my nice gray sweats.

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blackstratreply
lemmy.fwgx.uk

I try do that at the urinals. Followed by offering a helping hand for the final shake

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Ploppreply
lemmy.world

Mitch is violently turning in his grave right now and I want to scream.

2

Genuine compliments on personality are always cool. Like, "you're good at making people feel comfortable around you" or whatever. People often wonder what role they play in social situations, being told they're doing good is nice. At least I appreciate it whenever it happens.

36

I put a bunch of effort into making my moustache curly, a bit like Dali. And recently I received a compliment from a dude for that. I really liked that.

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telllosreply
lemmy.world

Nice, getting compliment from women isn't easy. But getting them from guys is even harder. You must have a great moustache.

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lemmy.world

I mean, it still doesn't stay curly as much as I'd like it to (even with wax or pomade) but its definitely pretty nice when its the way i want it to be, I think!

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lemmy.world

That is actually very impressive. I toyed with the idea of doing this for fun one year, but I gave up when I realised how properly hard it was going to be to achieve. Nice one.

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Victorreply
lemmy.world

That dude is also full chill. Taking the time and breaking whatever possible comfort zones for the both of you to commend you on your moustache. That's a nice fella. Somebody husband that bastard real quick.

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lemm.ee

My personal favorite probably is compliments on when I have built/fixed something. It's the skill I'm the most proud of.

32

This! Using my knowledge and practice to practical effect and being thanked for it is genuinely the best feeling! Even if it’s transactional, it’s still nice to feel like a job well done after all the years of effort and craft.

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lemmy.ml

As a father, I'd like to hear how well I combine being an emotionally supportive dad while maintaining a demanding job and taking care of cooking, repairs and other stuff at home.

21

Hey - very much feel this one.

It will likely come from your kids in the future, the validation doesn't come from society. They get to a point where they recognise what you did and say thanks.

You're doing well, keep it up mate.

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AA5Breply
lemmy.world

Good one. My kids are teens, so I’m always happy to hear anything about how well they grew up

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Matengorreply
lemmy.ml

Your kids are really nice human beings. You did well raising them!

2
fedia.io

I'm always ordering weird shirts off the internet. From like video games, Youtube channels, FOSS and general geeky fun stuff. About once or twice a year some total stranger will say "cool shirt!" out of nowhere. That always makes me smile the rest of the day 😊

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lemmy.today

I was in Italy on vacation and a girl in a hotel reception said me and my girlfriend have really beautiful blue eyes. They are not used to blue eyes in Italy so much, but it felt very nice to get a compliment as a guy. I think I've rarely or never had compliments from strangers like that.

20

That woman probably felt safer to compliment you as well as your girlfriend because you were together. Sadly, guys in general get fewer compliments from girls than pop into the girls' heads because they're afraid of how the guy would react.

Which is why it's nice for OP to call on guys to compliment each other, and notice when they've put in effort.

I'm going to add, "Great hair!" And, "Those glasses really suit you!"

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lemmy.world

I'm usually pretty happy to be recognized for my extreme dexterity.

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lemmy.world

Hey there, I saw you juggling while twirling a drumstick and just wanted to tell you I was really impressed by your dexterity

6

Nonono, I spin a puppyhammer while doing the Melbourne shuffle!

Last weekend I saw a dude juggling and riding a little cruiser skateboard though!

3

Praise for any genuine public service whether that's being an EMT or just picking up a piece of trash. The world would probably be better off if we focused more on recognizing actions and less on superficial things like what clothes you can afford or physical appearance.

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moist.catsweat.com

ooh. I would not get any compliments based on OP original criteria but could get some with yours. Honestly though compliments make me uncomfortable.

6

Im really not. Well usually. I can be caught off guard and actually my wife is good at that. It honestly makes me more rigid and ackward. I feel bashful is like a looser state of mind and body.

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lemm.ee

“Thanks. I stretch every day” lmao

“You’re tall” is the “nice tits” of male compliments

14

The quality of tits can change based on effort. A woman can improve her tits by exercising.

Height just is what it is.

2

It's enough to compliment them on whatever is new. New shoes, new haircut, new shirt, new tattoo, etc.

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lemmynsfw.com

Complimenting another guy's physique is a bit weird I think unless you're trying to date them or are someone who works on their body as well.

As an older guy who recently got into shape (and am definitely not an introvert) it always comes across a bit weird to me when someone who is out of shape mentions it.

As a hetero male, of course I'm happy when any women mentions it, but it actually feels better when someone who is in better shape mentions it (probably because I'm married and a women's comment, while nice, isn't actionable but someone who is in better shape knows the work it took to get here).

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wazreply
lemmy.world

That is a tough situation.

How about "Jesus, put the weights down occasionally and leave some pussy for the rest of us!"? It acknowledges your effort, but is clearly they are not trying to hit on you.

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lightnsfwreply
reddthat.com

At this point I'll take what I can get. I put a lot of effort in my physique and pretty much only ever hear about from other dudes. I've had one woman mention it to me in 8 years. I don't work out just to get complements but I'm happy with my results and it'd be nice to know I'm not delusional. I suspect part of the problem is that I'm very short for a dude, I hear about that all the time.

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SLVRDRGNreply
lemmy.world

Maybe your physique is so well built that women are too flustered and mentally tripped up to coherently comment about it.

3

Any will do tbh, but when my jokes are appreciated is the best. I love making people laugh.

5

A simple "Hey! Good work today!" with a thumbs up is really all it takes from a random passerby or coworker.

4

I've been growing out my beard recently. Similar to women with long hair, maintaining a beard can be a lot of work. Typically, if I see someone else with an epic beard, I try to acknowledge it. Clearly they care about it.

Also, when I see a dad out with a young child alone, if they are trying at all, I will try to acknowledge it. I feel like most dads are in a situation where they are uncertain about what they are doing. Let me know that they are friggin' nailing it.

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sh.itjust.works

I honestly don't like to receive compliments from dudes. Here nobody does that. From a girl is different and has "value" too bad I'm invisible to them but from a dude is just weird.

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lemmy.world

I think that's a you issue though. Recently a dude complimented my moustache (I grew it out for a while and put a bunch of effort into making it curly) and that felt awesome.

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Kimdraculareply
sh.itjust.works

How's that a me issue? I'm not the one complimenting guys. The only right compliment from a man that feels right is from your father.

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lemmy.world

I think it's a you issue because you think giving compliments from man to man is weird. What exactly is your issue with it? Are you afraid it makes you look gay or something? For example, if I'm wearing a shirt of a band I like, and another dude compliments it, why would that not make me feel good? Feeling seen is a human need I think, it gives a sense of belonging.

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lemmus.org

For example, if I’m wearing a shirt of a band I like, and another dude compliments it, why would that not make me feel good?

I'd say it depends on how you compliment it exactly. If you say "That's a nice shirt", that's basically saying you have good taste. I see no issue with that.

But if you'd say "You look nice in that shirt", that would be weird and I'd assume you're coming on to me.

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lemmy.world

But why is it weird? As long as whoever compliments you like that doesn't try to kiss you, what's the issue? Maybe the shirt suits you well and highlights something nice about your physique? As long as the compliment ia genuine, why do you assume whoever compliments you is trying to get in your pants? Is that the only reason you give compliments like that?

Honestly I struggle with flirting so maybe I'm getting something wrong here. Maybe people really generally only compliment like that when they're trying to suggest sexual interest.

7

I think you sound pretty normal. Dudes should be able to compliment each other. If it wasn't for that most of us would get nothing.

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lemmus.org

It's not a big issue. It would just feel weird, I can't give you a reason.

To me it seems there is some homophobia lingering there.

If it was coming from a gay guy, that would acually make it better. At least then you understand the motivation for commenting on another guy's looks.

-2

Hmm, fair enough.

I removed that sentence because I realized it was a bit assumptious. But honestly I don't understand why it would be better from a gay person. That would make me personally more uncomfortable, because it would feel like an advance that I would not be able to retort. If it would come from someone I assume ia straight, I would just take it as a compliment. Like, I can see how other men are beautiful/handsome, even though I have no sexual interest.

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Kimdraculareply
sh.itjust.works

That's the problem. Males usually only do compliments here in sexual interest. Don't deny it. I don't want any of it from a dude. I welcome it from a girl. I'm a male.

-5

I mean, I'm able to see beauty in men, even though I am not sexually attracted to them. Not sure why that would be a problem. Also male here.

5

Honestly, based on your comments here I'd say that this is a you problem by proxy; I'd bet that it's your dad that's done you such a disservice raising you that you now reject compliments from 50% of the population of earth. That's a problem for you.

On the sexual side, if you can't see any positive in another man showing you any sort of attention in that way, that's a problem. Its not gay to receive a compliment, man. Just say thanks and move on with your day. EZ PZ.

0

What you say is also a key point to understanding where the borderline is for sexual harassment or other types of unwanted behaviours in the workplace.

This is often confusing for some people who often ask: "Why can't I say this and what's up with everyone being offended over compliments?", etc.

Simply put: It's perfectly fine to say "nice jeans", but it is not okay to say "your butt looks great in those jeans".

It might be fine for other private occasions, but in a professional working environment we shouldn't judge each other by personal appearance or sexuality.

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Kimdraculareply
sh.itjust.works

Ok not but that's different. The guy is complimenting "the shirt or the band that appeals to him" not you.

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lemmus.org

I know, that was the difference I wanted to highlight because it wasn't clear in the previous comment.

2

I think dude shouldn't feel uptight about this. Tell a guy you like something they do or have shouldn't be seen as negative. Honestly a small ego boost never hurts.

I told my uber driver the other day that I like his watch, I'm sure he was happy about it.

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